Experience with "locked and forgotten"?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by sonhee, Aug 5, 2020.

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  1. sonhee
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    sonhee Member

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    My wife is pregnant and we'll soon have 2 children under 2. For the first few months, or even year, after the birth I dont expect there to be many opportunities for sex and intimacy.

    My wife doesn't really like me masturbating and has proposed locking me up. Then I would be allowed a release every week or two. However, keep in mind there won't be anything like going down on her because she will be busy and tired. It will effectively be lock and forget except for maybe a verbal tease once in a while.

    Does anyone have experience with this? Is it sexy or just annoying? For me I'm thinking of going with it, not so much because I expect it to be exciting but more because it could normalise chastity more for her and hopefully make it a part of our sex life once the children are sleeping well and can have a sex life again.
     
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  2. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Active member

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    I don't know if there is anyone who enjoys being forgotten or ignored in any context.
     
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  3. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    You don't mention it but I'm assuming you are out at work some of the day..
    If you were to do as much for her as you can on your return home she may feel more rested when the children have gone to bed. And as you will also feel more tired there is every possibility that your libidos become more in sinc.

    Besides even you do not feel your sex life is receiving any more attention despite your best efforts you can at least console yourself with the knowledge that your good lady will at least come to realise later if not now that you have put in more effort to your mutual child rearing than many other guys ever will.

    Which in itself can not be a bad thing.
     
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  4. JCNTX
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    You'd be surprised. I have three kids, two of them being twins. Yes, intimate times are reduced but you get into a routine and it is not as hard as you think it is going to be.
     
  5. HisFreakySide
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    HisFreakySide Active member

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    When life gets busy/stressful and neither of us feel aroused, we tend to 'forget' that I'm still caged. During these times (which sometimes last for several weeks), there is zero teasing or any mention of my predicament. Honestly, though, this never really bothers me since I consider it to be part of the commitment to chastity. Once we're finally intimate again, she is always really glad that I remained locked the entire time.
     
  6. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    You're both going to be tired with two infants, so yes, go with the plan of making chastity become part of both your lives, you'll reap the rewards many times over, if not straight away then later. It's not a fixed decision is it? You can always 'time out' for a while if it's too much or just not fulfilling, and pick up again when you're better placed.
     
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  7. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active member

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    I would say put it on hold. Fire and forget might become the new normal and then you would have to retrain her. Remember in a lot of cases sex goes away with kids and a lot of women use it as an excuse to never resume. Hope that doesn't happen to you.
     
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  8. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active member

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    Ignoring partners isn't acceptable in relationships. Yes, the child will take up more of your time and life, (especially for the first year), but both partners need to make an effort to bring back the intimacy. Our sex life got better after kids, even if it is very scheduled! In the meantime, try and be the best dad and supportive partner you can be.
     
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  9. madams-sissysub
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    My madam would use this as a punishment when I would be to pushy and if I was roping from the bottom, she would just stop all play and talk about kink and chastity, I think the longest she did it for was going on 3 weeks, it was hell. I agree with other posters, if it’s gong to be a while maybe just leave it off for a while.
     
  10. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Active member

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    I dunno. I read the part about "she has proposed locking me up" and I think you have your answer there. Who is going thru the pain of childbirth and all the sleepless nights that follow? What can you to show your devotion and insure you stay invested?

    I would only ask, in advance, that she allow you a release every few weeks - if you have been good - until such time as she is able to get back into it. Everybody is different so you have to figure out your bottom line, but for sure I would empower her as much as possible.
     
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  11. Locked_DJ
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    Locked_DJ Member

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    Remaining chaste for her is the easy part. Being forgotten for weeks or months sucks. We have gone over a month with intimacy at all, our youngest is 10 years old. We’ve had times of great intimacy & pleasure while locked, I’m not denying that, definitely I’d like less cage & more sex, onwards we go.
     
  12. sonhee
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    sonhee Member

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    I think I'd propose being locked and maybe with a release every 1 or 2 weeks. Basically, it's not about femdom or orgasm control, but just about not masturbating behind her back. If it annoys me I can probably still ask her to unlock, and she probably won't be much into it anyway during the times of zero libido.

    Another thing is that my mother-in-law will "move in" for a while to help us with the children, which I very much appreciate, but which also means spontaneous sex will be harder. So in a way the "promised release every week" might even be more than normal lol.

    Now my only problem is finding a cage that comfortable and hygienic!
     
  13. amvetsb
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    All relationships require communication to remain healthy. That said, child birth and the times that follow may result in a lack of sexual intimacy, but so long as the rest of what ties you two together is strong, all should be well! The fact that SHE proposed locking you up, she's expressing an interest in it. There may be 'dull' times when your locked bits aren't center stage, but to be honest, they wouldn't be under the circumstances even if not locked. If you are into the chastity thing, you should enjoy knowing she has an interest in it as well and roll with it, regardless of how 'it' turns out over time! One day at a time and RELAX, enjoy the ride!
     
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  14. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth Active member

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    I am not a parent and therefore can only imagine how this journey will--or should--unfold. Obviously, it's a heckuva opportunity. You can be a tremendous help to your wife and child. Don't allow a shyness or hesitancy to get in the way.

    What comes to mind for me is a recognition of a woman's infertile period after childbirth. Depending on if she nurses the child(ren) that may last a while. It seems to me that a matching chastity period would be a huge symbolic show of support.

    Depending on perspective, one might ask why should you be allowed to ejaculate if your seed cannot be of use for her? (Clearly others may disagree....) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactational_amenorrhea

    I may be hardcore, but I recommend that upon childbirth, you are locked as often as practical and denied orgasm for the duration of your wife's postpartum infertility. (aka, lactational amenorrhea)

    And since she's focused intently on the child duties, I think it's reasonable that she "forgets" your orgasm for a while.

    (I am going to repeat, I am not a parent, and this is simply my opinion, but it's motivated by a respect for the woman during the process.)

    I would LOVE to hear a woman's opinion on this.

    Laz
     
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  15. Doug Scibor
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    Doug Scibor Active member

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    I don't know. We didn't do chastity when we had young kids but I have to think it would have been a benefit to have my sexual attention focused on her. She was very diligent to make sure I was satisfied when the opportunity presented itself. It became a game for us to hop on each other when nap time happened in the afternoon (usually on the weekends).

    When it got really intense with the kids, I would masturbate to keep the edge off which maybe wasn't a good idea. How many women have had kids only to hold a negative self-image "he doesn't want me anymore."

    Keeping him locked with specific rules not to harass an exhausted mother might do wonders in a relationship under siege from young children. An experiment worthy of scientific research.
     
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  16. Sexy Slave 69
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    Sexy Slave 69 Active member

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    You could try the cherry keeper cage, I love mine for comfort,
    Do u think u would be allowed to suckle your wife while she has milk,
    I would love that
     
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  17. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Active member

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    Tricky one. On one hand it is completely normal for a couples intimacy to drop off after having a baby, there are all sorts of demands on time and energy and having had 2 under 2 ourselves I can completely understand. My wife was mentally and physically exhausted most of the time in the first 6-12 months after our 2nd. I actually can't remember how much time there was for us as a couple, but I do know I masturbated a fair bit.

    Intimacy doesn't have to equal sex (and sex doesn't equal intimacy either), you can keep things going by refocusing your attentions on other areas, assisting with child rearing, giving your partner time out by taking the kids to a park (not easy in covid times I guess) or similar. Prepare evening meals, do housework etc etc etc, anything that helps ease stress during what is a busy time. This "may" then free up time to reconnect as a couple and ensure you aren't feeling "locked and forgotten".
     
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  18. Kat9s toy
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    Check out The Contender from Male Chastity Now (see both malechastitynow.com and the forum here at Chastity Mansion).

    I've been wearing one for a little over 6 months now, only unlocking for certain medical exams or procedures. During this time, I've been locked 99.3% of the time, only unlocked for 30 hrs, which included 25 hrs for an outpatient surgery. Otherwise, only unlocked 5 hrs in 6 months. So yes, very comfortable. Very light-weight but still very secure.

    I found I don't need to unlock for hygiene. The cage is open enough for that without allowing for any significant stimulation. I can even shave most everything with it on, although I use the occasional unlocking for medical exams to also shave in those hard to get places.

    Good luck to you!
     
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  19. BR_Saiph
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    BR_Saiph Self-published author

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    Lots of good advice and I don't have much to add other than your relationship will require care and attention with or without kids.
    She will still be a woman and you a man, and so you may find sexy time together once you get into a routine as parents.
    Good luck!
     
  20. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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    I could not handle that, if I am denied orgasms I must be able to lick her pussy and ass multiple times a day, at 5 am, 9 am, before and after her shower in the early afternoon, and at night after her orgasm with her magic wand.
     
  21. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    I think the idea of locked and forgotten is kind of a funny concept. I used to use that phrase a lot in the beginning of our chastity/FLR. The reality is you’re just basically able to take care of your needs which means you are going to be masturbating behind her back. Staying locked for your partner may really end up being an enhancement for her and you because remaining locked will help you stay focused on her needs instead of you just taking care of your own. Staying locked up while my wife was in school earning a difficult degree as well as raising our son (which we started chastity right around his first birthday) has really helped me grow and become more mature. It wasn’t always easy and there were a lot of ups and downs, there were times where I felt locked and forgotten but I feel that is was good for me in the end as well as for my mistress. We learned a lot about each other as well as ourselves especially during the more difficult times. Just some food for thought.
     
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  22. Ormaz
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  23. tecolote
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    If you are interested in making it a part of your sex life, turning it down kinda kills that. I'd suggest that you do it, but if you aren't used to long term, you might need to work up to it.
     
  24. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth Active member

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    Interesting primer on breastfeeding and intimac.
     
  25. Ormaz
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    Maybe if you help with the baby, she'll be a little less "busy and tired", and you'll a little less “locked and forgotten” about… ;)
     
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