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Entering a new world.

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by YessX, Sep 29, 2017.

  1. Hello everyone!

    I'm 'official' entering a real new world for me. I've found this site while searching info about the MCD on Google.. After a while I've decided to make a profile here because I don't only want to read the story's but also want to share mine.

    I'm a 24y/o female who is more dominant than I first knew. I've noticed this in my last relationship were my boy released my inner mistress. I really enjoyed it to take control and the boy enjoyed it to give me all this control. Our relationship has ended, but here I am. Thanks to that same boy..

    He confessed that his sexual needs were 'not as simple' and that our relationship ended because of it. He didn't had the courage at that time to share his 'secret' with me.. After months, almost a year of barely/not speaking with each other he found the courage to tell me and introduced me in the chastity world.

    He wants me to be his key holder, and not only because I can handle him. But also because the bond we had, physical, emotional & sexual is still here. We both feel it, we both know it.
    He's my weak spot and I'm (definitely) his..

    How do I do this? Will this work?
    I know it's weird because he is my ex.. But I know we both still have some feelings for each other.
    And, truly, if this is his big fantasy, I want to be the one who he shares & experiences it with.
    (I don't think he would tell any other girl, but still..)

    Any advice for me? For us?

    Thanks & talk to you all soon.
  2. Welcome Madam
    YessX likes this.
  3. Wow YessX, volumes could be written on the questions and concerns you just expressed. With over 30 years involvement in the overall lifestyle, 20 with my current wife, there is a lot I could say. But just to keep it down to basics right now, do a lot of reading on the topic, here and elsewhere, and be very firm in your conviction as to weather you really want this for yourself first, and with him second. He needs to make a commitment to you and to weather this is what he wants. If it is, then he needs to make concessions to you regarding honesty and obedience, at least for a trial period of lets say 6 months. When you mentioned not speaking to each other for almost a year, that just isn't right. If your lucky, you get about seventy of those years, and you are already 24 in, so to give up a year of walking on eggshells around your own home which should be a retreat of peace, love and tranquility, think twice before you let that happen again. One more thing, put aside the playful, fetish oriented aspect of the lifestyle for the first part of the trial period, there is plenty of time for that later. To start, make it more about setting boundaries and showing respect for each other. GOOD LUCK! RAZ
    MadamBelle, YessX and Sublifter49 like this.
  4. My experience says that open communication is the key! Without it, don't waste your time.
    MadamBelle, Allen1987, YessX and 2 others like this.
  5. I think its very tough at age 24 to have the insight and emotional maturity to make those kind of decisions. (I certainly didn't) And that's not meant to apply to you specifically. Some 24 year olds are more prepared than others to enter this lifestyle. Plus, it depends on the level of intensity you want to take it to. It doesn't have to be "all or nothing."

    From your description, I'd be very leery of entering that kind of relationship with this guy. You weren't speaking for a year? That's a lot of time at 24 years old. And he's your ex? There is likely to be all kinds of baggage with that. What happens when you meet someone else? or he meets someone else? In general, this lifestyle/kink/fetish/whatever you call it works best for long term partners who know and trust each other very well. For example, my wife of 36 years is my KH-and we just started a few months ago. We love it, and now wish we'd started earlier, but we both agree that it's not something to be done lightly. We really weren't ready for it until our kids were out of the house. Good luck and be careful!
  6. Well said Donna Sue!
  7. There are a lot of options on how you enjoy Chastity. I am a married man and am locked my my lovely wife. I think being younger should not stop you from playing my wife and I have been playing off and on for a while (over a year) till she reaped the full benefits. She is 28.
    I will say however a sexual relationship is hard with someone you were once committed with, it seems that your relationship ended from his secrete, one you are interested in perusing? If so enjoy but you may want to talk about your demands and desires from this. Tell him this isn't going to be his femdom porn fantasy and lay down your terms. My wife has enjoyed the affection and devotion she has gotten, she has the key so I know I am owned and will not get the key back. Her term is that I will be permanently locked and she plays with me when she wants, I do what she tells me. She knows my limits...

    Talk to each other find the limits make it about you, and enjoy your desires and the benefits but know that your age, or relationship status is likely less important that your communication skills.
    MadamBelle and YessX like this.
  8. I understand the way you see it, but like I said; we drifted apart Because he Couldn't share his secret with me. He's Not such a great talker..
    we didn't had much conversations while we were apart, because of the bond we still shared. How can I say; right love, wrong time?

    Yes, I'm young, But age is just a number I guess. But this is Why I'm asking for advice and stuff.

    We're now still talking about the devices, about how he sees it, how I see it. How we will make this work. (We're Not dating anymore, but chance is, that If we are going to do this; Both our feelings will rise up.)

    Jblocked likes this.
  9. Since he told me, we're talking daily. About other stuff and about mcd. Communication is the key. True! I'm Not startpunt this journey If one of us have doubts or insecurities.

    Jblocked likes this.
  10. Thank you!

    We are talking about all the sides of this commitment, How i see it and how he sees it..

    He knows that I won't be just 'simple' his keyholder.. I was the dominant one in our relationship and it worked perfectly, so he knows that that side of me is triggered.
    And he knows what I want. I can't have him locked up for just locking him up. He knows what I want him to do, and as normal; he has to deserve his release..

    But yes, talking is very important. Thanks for your reply!
    Jblocked and slave_m like this.
  11. Welcome,

    As has been said, if it is just a fantasy brought up after a year what has he been up to. If he really wants to make that commitment to turn it all over

    to you, make sure he means it. Don't play little games with him. You make the rules and you decide what he has to do to deserve his release.I for one

    don't have a point system. I give her everything I can and treat her like Queen she is,not just to get out. I don't look for my pleasure I look for her's.

    My pleasure is what I do for her constantly and being able to do that is what makes me happy. After 37 years married can't really tell you what is like.

    Talk and no more secrets. Take charge and you find out where he is. Good Luck
  12. BRAVO Allen, well said. It sounds like you have a really wonderful relationship with your wife. And welcome to Chastity Mansion!
    YessX and Allen1987 like this.
  13. I suggest taking the key. Then put your stiletto clad foot down, set some firm terms that the both of you can live with. Since he is your ex I would also suggest no sexual contact especially for him for a time just to see if this thing is a viable option for the long haul.

    I know it has been said before but honesty honesty and honesty and some more brutal honesty. You have to be able to communicate with him and he has to be able to express himself to you. From what you said her sounds very guarded. Putting a cage I him should open him up to you.

    Good luck, have fun, be safe,

  14. heloo @YessX@YessX welcome to here Mistress, curtsy. and i hopes that its ok for you here.
    YessX likes this.
  15. Thanks for the reply!

    I surely think that, by comitting this kink to me, he already opened up to me. I know it sounds weird Because he is my ex And we had a long moment of silence.. But still, that does Not change a thing to the fact that When we're in the same room, everyone recognises the sparkling we have. Not only the sexual tension.. so I'm Pretty sure, he does Not only want this for himself, he wants this for me too.
    And Because of that; I started thinking about actually doing this.

    Thank you!
  16. Welcome and enjoy.

    I think you may have the perfect solution. Holding the keys to your ex could be just the right thing for both of you. Both of you will know and accept that you can get what you want in that department elsewhere.and he can't.

    ( I am KH to my ex on just that basis. Though the emotion isn't the same as yours.)

    I'd say go full steam ahead, and with the most secure device he can wear 24/7/365 you can get. You will each find your inner selves.

    And understand your inner power.
    YessX likes this.
  17. We've just bought our first device.. Waiting dor it to arrive.. Let playtime begin!
    Jblocked, slave_m and Joroincharge like this.
  18. Have fun, it is the most deliciously frustrating playtime you can have imo.
    MadamBelle, YessX and jemmi like this.
  19. Only frustrating for the lockee....:):):):)
    KH won't be frustrated at all ;);););)
    MadamBelle and YessX like this.
  20. "Better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all."

    If you have that magic spark and you're communicating, then ignore the doom sayers, decide between yourselves however you want to share your life and go for it. If it doesn't work out, it still might not be either the wrong person or wrong time, just the wrong fetish. ;)
    MadamBelle and YessX like this.
  21. Be aware that it often takes many devices until you find one at fits well enough for long term use.
    Chastity takes time to master in many respects.
    MadamBelle, YessX and sissybitch like this.
  22. Indeed it does I have bought 4 and still not happy. I am now saving and taking measurements for a custom MM jailbird. IMO you should buy cheap chineesium devices first to find out which style works for you and also to see if this lifestyle is also right for you without dropping 400+$.

    Also i suggest you try and abstain for a week prior to the first lock up this will test your will power and your resolve. It will also make your first unlock that much better.

    YessX likes this.
  23. find the correct piece of the puzzle you may be in for the ride of your life!
  24. Nice said, thanks!
    Joroincharge likes this.
  25. I don't know you well enough to give you proper advice, but your enthusiasm is an awesome starting point. It makes experimenting light hearted and mistakes are easily covered with the blanket of love. About cages: I wish we had started with a custom metal one as it would have prevented a lot of medical problems as an edema and consequently interruptions of this play. Feel free to ask me or my wife anything you want - if you check our post history you'll come across some pitfalls on our journey, perhaps there is some valuable information to be found as we're not exactly experienced either.
    YessX and Joroincharge like this.
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