Engaged to be wed

Discussion in 'Off topic discussions' started by Nicoftime, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    To @Nicoftime
    I have been married for 15 years, practicing chastity and FLR for the less than two years now. Also have 4 kids, all grown adults except one. I believe one of the good things about chastity and living in a FLR as a married couple is that things don't always have to stay static or the same. The relationship seems to more readily evolve to a better and higher place and purpose. Marriage is now part of your evolution. Preparing to enter into marriage always will raise new thoughts, ideas, questions, potential insecurities, new fantasies, new realities, etc....certainly nothing you can't successfully handle, or even enjoy, with the great partner you have. Wish you happiness and joy on the next steps in your journey. Jil
     
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  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Maybe it’s because I’ve been locked for the last few weeks, maybe it’s because I returned to domestic service and saw the lovely smile on her face when she saw the house and the effort I put in, maybe it’s because we had a big tiff and we got through it and found a new understanding of what forever means...but I am less anxious and more willing to let things go as far as they need to.

    I am not a naturally submissive person. I am closed, guarded, and sometimes even short with others. To tell the truth I am somewhat of a control freak on some things...Tupperware doesn’t go in the microwave, I hate clutter on tables and countertops, I even have identical work clothes for every day of work. Chastity, and like it or not, the maid service, helps me relinquish control and comfort enough for me to be the loving, attentive, and nice partner I truly am deep down. It strips me of my pride, and stereotypes that a lifetime of posturing put up. My defenses are truly down when I let this chastity driven feminine servant out.

    I know others here can just say just be that way, you don’t need any of that to be a loving attentive partner. I don’t know, I can tell I am not that person without it and it still doesn’t seem to matter, and my attitude and behavior reverts to the guy I’ve failed with every relationship before.

    I think she adores the person in chastity and in feminine service to her needs. She loves the person who opens up, who listens intently, and verbally respects her. She has said that sometimes I treat her like an idiot. That couldn’t be further from what I think of her, but my demeanor and comments, or lack of comments, seems to become aggressive and rude without chastity and being my feminine self.

    I want that smile I saw when she came home from work yesterday. I want that sense of pride when she said how busy I must have been, and her exclamations of how lucky she was. So i am no longer concerned about how far this will go, what my life is going to end up like, or the future of my masculinity. I trust her to keep me where I need to be. I have already attempted the old me, and so far all I’ve done is alienate and push people away. I am going to give being the real me a chance, even if it requires a cage, chores, and a cute outfit for the real me to surface.
     
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  3. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Long term member

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    I love the way you express yourself, true to the needs of your wife and recognizing that being more and more willing to give and not to take will make you a better person, male or female, does it matter?
     
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  4. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Long term member

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    I'm in this process right now, didn't imagine how difficult it could be, having to plan how to share your home and belongings with a person, albeit a lovable one and you really love her, sort of starting life all over again.
     
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  5. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    I'd imagine she's already contemplating these good suggestions, and surely thinking about others as well. I'm wondering if @Mistress Amanté is also considering adding an upgraded, custom-made, full-security belt to the registry, as it would make for a lovely wedding gift of long-lasting, immeasurable value. This is all quite romantic--best of wishes to the bride and her man.
     
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  6. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    congratulations
     
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  7. boisub
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    boisub Inaccessible member

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    Congratulations!
     
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  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Thanks! More of you know than my outside friends lol!
     
  9. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    Hey Nic - congrats on your engagement! It sounds like you have a lot on your mind! If I may, I HIGHLY suggest keeping it light and enjoyable. Even if you (She) decides to incorporate the chastity / d/s dynamic, I still can’t recommend keeping things light enough. That, and as far as planning goes, “sure!” and “whatever you want love” are your two go-to phrases from here until the end of the honeymoon. Occasionally reiterating a recommendation to “Err on the side of fun and lighthearted” was my sole contribution to wedding planning - the rest was in the hands of the girls.

    As you know our wedding was just a couple weeks ago. We made a decision early on to keep it smaller and light and we’re both really pleased that we went that route. We didn’t incorporate any of our kinky into the proceedings. I was locked throughout, but that’s just the normal state of things. She took me out on our wedding night and didn’t put me back in till we got back from our honeymoon. Longest time out in 2 years sans piercing recovery. That time, for me, was very interesting, as were the events surrounding the inevitable return of the cage when we got home - but that’s all a topic for another thread. Maybe even for another place at this point.

    Regardless. We’ve generally kept our chastity / d/s lifestyle a bit more compartmentalized. Can’t say it stays in the bedroom, because it certainly doesn’t. But it doesn’t generally extend to any open displays in that sort of setting. Our ceremony and vows were essentially traditional (not really, but d/s & kink free is my point).

    But that’s one of the things I’ve liked about you and @Mistress Amanté - despite the fact that your path with chastity has diverged in certain ways from mine and @Thatgirl s, we’ve both never felt any judgement, or really anything other than “eFriendship” (as i call it) from you guys for not taking certain aspects further or taking others too far. I wish more people could be that way.

    So, however you guys decide to conduct your nuptials, and whatever path you end up trundling down as far as chastity and your role / masculinity etc., I know I speak for both myself and @Thatgirl when I say that we sincerely wish you both the best, and hope for a long, happy and fun future for you guys.

    As always - have a blast! If it’s fun and she’s smiling, it can’t be wrong.

    Cheers,
    @Thatguyontheinternet
     
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  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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  11. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Haven’t really updated our status on this topic lately but the date is set for August 4th. Nothing fancy, small backyard ceremony and party with friends and family that happen to make it.
     
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  12. Gigaman
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    Gigaman Long term member

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    Congratulations all the best to you. as I have said in post before, everyone deserve to be happy. I hope you find what you ar looking for, or maybe you already have.
     
  13. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Well thank you, and yes I have found what I was looking for, even if I wasn’t sure what that was when we started.
     
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  14. manintyres
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    manintyres Junior Member

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    Many congratulations and I wish both of you all the best for a long happy future together on this new part of your journey
     
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  15. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Hers forever


    Our big day is fast approaching. Getting married in 6 days, and I am not really nervous but I am anxious. It means more than just marriage for me, it’s not just promising to be with her forever, it’s about being hers forever. As well as being hers, I’m promising a certain lifestyle forever.

    Living in chastity, being her servant, her maid, and having my behavior enforced with discipline is nothing to enter into lightly. Forever is a long time, and I am anxious, nervous, happy, needy, and a zillion other things all at the same time. Before when I promised to do all these things, I meant it, but had thought that eventually she would leave me, so my promise was only as long as hers. Her actually marrying me and acknowledging that her forever was the same amount of time as my forever has hit me and I couldn’t be happier.

    It has been a little while since I had an orgasm and last week she informed me I wouldn’t be getting out till at least after the wedding. Of course I want out, of course I want to cum, but I am so grateful that she knows what’s best for us. It is a perfect setting for the rest of our lives, and there are a lot of different ways she could set the tone for our life, marriage, and roles. She could keep me locked after and have me help her get off, could unlock me and not let me cum, could make me consummate the marriage with me using a strapon, she could even consummate it by her using the strapon on me. All I know is our life together is going to be filled with love, respect, friendship, laughter, enforced chastity, discipline, maid service, footrubs, and pampering.

    Other personal issues are now making me feel relieved and adored. Knowing I won’t have to be hairy again, knowing that if my breasts grow and body changes I will still be loved, knowing that I will always be able to dress how I feel, always be myself. It is truly amazing and a feeling I can’t describe.

    Amante, I will be yours forever, I will be your friend, lover, maid, servant, pet, doting, pampering, sarcastic, assholey husband for the rest of my life.
     
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  16. anomalous1
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    anomalous1 Active member

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    Congratulations! I hope you had a lovely wedding. Best wishes to you both.
     
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  17. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I promise to love, honor, serve, and respect you. I will calm you when you’re crazy, protect you when you’re vulnerable, and to treat you as special as you truly are. You hold the key to my heart, you make me happy, and I am yours forever.

    My vows to her
     
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