Enforced...Who puts on limits?

Pain wise I think during funishment it is somewhat clear when it goes too far.

Mistress once tried out a new paddle, it was more like a small boat oar lol! With just a couple swats I realized they felt differently than the small paddles we had used before. The next was harder and I jumped and recoiled like I hadn’t done before. She reached under me and felt that my erection had quickly departed and said ohhh not hard anymore was that too hard? I told her It wasn’t but need to work up to that kind of paddling.

I didn’t need to use a safe word, she quickly sensed the change and acted accordingly. If it would have been a punishment session, she probably would not have been worried...it’s supposed to hurt, and would have left it up to me to use a safe word.

 

I understand what both @Nicoftime and @lockit are saying. But I still think there is a possible disjunct between her aware if your position and your real state if vulnerability. A safe word is always advisable.

 

We have one, in funishment it isn’t really needed due to her being in tune to the situation, and would rely on me using my safe word during actual punishment. That being said, it would really have to be too far before I used it.

 

I really can't see me needing to use a safe word but its there. As I said above @Mistress Jules knows how far she can go and how much I can take. To be honest I would prefer not to have a safe word.
Mistress Jules insists we have one "Safe, Sane and consensual"

 

One thing I never mentioned is limits of time locked. I have always asked to be unlocked. I might not be not allowed when I ask however it is never too long after. I have wondered how long I would be kept locked if I did not ask. I feel brave enough to put that to the test now. I don't think I will feel that brave for long.

 

You two have a fantastic relationship. Long may it continue.All my :love::love::love: to you both.

 

The limits always are decided by the sub, who can walk away whenever he chooses.

 

The original scenario on this thread is a bit disturbing...but I can only make the assumption that it is part of the game they are playing, to rules the public are not privy to. Because yes, even in CNC (consensual non-consent), the sub can end it all by walking away.

There's also the 'game' where the Top 'threatens' the bottom with horrible non-consensual things for the fear, the adrenaline, but both know that it's not actually going to happen. That doesn't work for me - I'm too much of a realist - I had a Top threaten all sorts of things, but it was ineffectual because I knew it wasn't true. :/

Then, if the Top/Dominant has spent a lot of time talking through the bottom/submissive's limits, interests, etc, announcing an extreme fantasy can be shocking, but still within the consent of the bottom.

Anything else is abuse.