Emergency keys

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Brielle, Jul 30, 2021.

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  1. Brielle
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    Brielle Owned and loved by Ms C.

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    My Mistress (@Ms C.) recently posted on the Female Keyholders Forum about whether a caged male should have access to an emergency key, in the unlikely event that one would be needed.

    There have been three replies so far, with varying opinions. I personally am trying to make a case with my Mistress that me having an emergency key would make sense just in case the unthinkable happened and I needed to get out immediately. She is of the opinion that she is always contactable, and that the key is always around her neck, so that she would never be too far away to come and release me.

    However, I am somewhat uncomfortable with this situation. I would much, much prefer to have a key that I keep in my wallet (secured with her signature, or tamper-proof seals, etc) just in case there was an emergency. I have told her that, on my honour, I would NEVER use it just because desire took a hold of me because that would break the bond of trust that we have between us.

    So, we have differing opinions. We live an FLR, and she is the leader and natural authority in our household, and as she is my Mistress and KH, obviously she has the final say, and I acquiesce to her decision.

    However, I'd like to hear from other chaste folk as to how they approach this issue. Do you have an emergency key, and if so, how is it secured to be tamper-proof? And if you don't have access to an emergency key, what would you do in case of said emergency?

    Thanks in advance,

    B.
    xxx
     
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  2. Bubbahotepp326
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    Bubbahotepp326 New member

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    We use this, works great.
     

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  3. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Active member

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    If my wife has the key, she has the only key… I threw the spare into the wheelie bin a long time ago! And it’s a ABUS padlock so that’s not going to pick easily o_O
    E161DB95-7894-4A55-BF61-0B64C98B2131.jpeg
     
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  4. CumSlut
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    CumSlut Active member

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    This is based on my Owner/Wife and my experience.

    First of all, all locks can be manipulated/opened/tampered with. Trust is thus paramount regardless of how secure a lock is. We get locked up but we don't really want to escape anyway.

    Second, we use safety keys for any possibility not just chastity it could happen, not just chastity (e.g. being locked up and chained in the basement and suddenly your wife falls unconscious) The exception are events or kink camps where third parties either may hold emergency keys or could intervene if something goes wrong.

    Third, your consent always matters. I'm my wife's slave but she cares about me and loves me enough to insist on my consent. It's fun to have to obey but if you're really not comfortable with it you shouldn't do it. Otherwise it's abuse.

    Those things being said, we've never had use of those keys but that was to be expected as it really is emergencies only.

    Plastic numbered locks are one possibility, but keys in a sealed cover are another; in short: anything your KH could notice if being tampered with.
     
  5. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    #5 Pretty Monnica, Jul 30, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2021
    It's a complex issue because a contingency plan "should" be in place, but in our case, my Goddess manages it the same way. We do have an emergency key, in an envelope that she has signed across the seal, but she keeps that one too.

    Once a person with a Dominant gene grows into liking chastity, they do not want to relent, both for their self and their submissive. It can be a blow to their confidence, which is the main part of what they need to act out as a Dominant to you.

    Not having an emergency key is eroding your confidence, but you do have to understand, by giving her this control in the first place, you asked her to do that very thing, and are now questioning the decision.

    Be very careful with how you approach this. Things like this can create tension in the dynamic, and put things into play that affect the overall experience. By not providing you with an immediate emergency plan, she's telling you that she loves and adores you, and as an FLR is not traditional in the typical male and female roles, she is acting as the alpha partner you want her to be. It's worth noting that alpha males put females in their relationships into all or nothing, and even somewhat unreasonable circumstances like this, all of the time. Men have used chastity as a weapon against females for centuries. You are experiencing what that feels like.

    She doesn't see an emergency key as being required, because she sees herself as the emergency key you are asking for.

    Chastity play is fun, and very exciting, but fear is ingrained as a part of that fun, and inescapability for both sides is where the pleasure center resides. My personal advice is to trust in her, and let her take the lead. You have made it this far, minus having an emergency key wonderfully.

    Are you positive that you really need one? Or are you fussing over details because you fear giving to it totally?
     
  6. subrick
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    subrick Junior Member

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    I currently don't carry a spare key with me. I have done so in the past, and should my Loving Wife & KeyHolder think it best I carry one, She would allow that. Personally, I think that depending upon the situations you might find yourself in, it would make sense to be able to remove the cage at a moment's notice IF needed.

    We used a simple nylon key holder with a hole drilled through it secured by one of those numbered plastic locks. She knew I wouldn't use it frivolously, She also knew that a situation could arise where I would need to remove the device and She would not be immediately available to give me the key. At the time I wore a plastic device and I told Her I could always break it open, if need be. She thought that would just be a waste of money, and I might as well carry a secured, spare key.

    During all of the time I carried a spare key, I never needed it.

    Back then, though, we were not really working on an FLR relationship, as we are now, but Her thoughts about me carrying a spare key are pretty much the same now. It's just that right now, we're at a point in our lives where we aren't really separated from each other by any appreciable distance or time. So I opt NOT to carry a spare.

    ~subrick
     
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  7. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active member

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    You absolutly should have an emergency key. You can't assume that you key holder willalways be there, that doesn't even come close to making sense. Also If you have an emergency key it is a way to keep your key holder on her toes. Your a partner in a "loving " relationship, not some body being transported to another country in the bottom of a ship.
     
  8. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    I'm the sub of one of the responders on the Females Only thread, @MistressAMA. I carry a spare key in my wallet in a signed envelope and am required to show it to Mistress at least once a week to verify that it hasn't been used.

    Hats off to those who go all in and do not have a spare key around for emergencies, but to me, our system has the same effect while still giving me an option should some need arise.

    It's also important to recognize that it's possible for many to climax while in the cage, and our Dominants need to be aware of this possibility so They monitor that, as well as just knowing the cage has stayed on. For instance, Mistress will look at the envelope and then ask, "And have you been good?" to which i reply honestly.

    asa
     
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  9. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Most of my locks have a spare key. They're all together on a key ring somewhere. I've never used them, but I could find them if I needed to. Unless my wife didn't want me to.

    (Currently unlocked. But still chaste. In our case, lock or no lock, it's the same rules. :confused:)
     
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  10. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Active member

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    I have only had an emergency key (sealed] when traveling afar for an extended period. There IS a spare in a rather secure safe in our bedroom. She wants me to remember that I am dependent on her and thats okay. I cant really envision a situation where such a key would make that much of a difference (vs cutting it off, etc). Maybe a better question would be to ask who has used theirs and why? Perhaps that could be the info you need...
     
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  11. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Active member

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    Never had to use mine although there were times I was really tempted :)
     
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  12. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    In most cases, it would just be a matter of some embarrassment if you couldn’t unlock. I’m sure most emergency rooms have cutters that would make quick work on any device. Any hardware store has something like a Dremel that would let you cut it off pretty quick. It’s also easy enough for the KH to hide a key or have one inside a combination Safe that they could give you the combo in a pinch.
     
  13. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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  14. Chaste2be
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    Chaste2be New member

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    It’s a bit of an investment, but we opted for the Igloohome smart lock box 3. It’s the first time in my entire chastity journey that I truly knew I was stuck in my cage until she decided otherwise. Sure, you can break anything if you try hard enough, but for some reason my mind finally accepted defeat.

    She can send a 1 time pin to open it, and from there I can’t get in again until she decides.

    Highly highly recommend!

    https://www.igloohome.co/products/keybox-3/
     
  15. Jack In A Cage
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    Jack In A Cage Member is caged

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    I am in a long distance relationship with my KH (@Destiny103181). She keeps one key in the igloohome as mentioned above, it is perfect, she creates a PIN for me to open it if needed. However, we keep another key in a clear box that is locked by a plastic numerical padlock (you can see it on my profile). I have to take a pic of it along with a picture of her and send it to her every morning.....All that said, I know our situation is different from yours but an emergency is an emergency. I actually had a ball slip once and could not get a hold of her to create a PIN for me. So I had to use the emergency key to take my cage off, fix the problem and then immediately lock back up. I informed her of what happened and we were both relieved I had the emergency key.
     
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  16. Raymond P.
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    Raymond P. Active member

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    #16 Raymond P., Jul 31, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2021
    I definitely agree with Jessica Alexander!

    My wife/mistress and I are in a FLR. I have been locked in chastity for over 3 years. Since March 2020 it has been 24/7/365 with no releases allowed (except for cleaning). Early in my lockup I was allowed to carry an emergency key in my wallet but never had occasion to use it. So I eventually surrendered it to my mistress and she now has total control.

    I realize there could be cases where a sub should carry an emergency key. For example, if he travelled out-of-town frequently on his own, needed to go through airport or other security, job or workplace requirements, etc. But none of these apply in our relationship.
     
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  17. LockedTower
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    LockedTower Member

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    What are you afraid of? Commit to your keyholder. She has told you what she wants so just live with it.
     
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  18. Crowe
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    Crowe Member

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    We always keep our spare frozen in a gallon jug in the garage freezer.
     
  19. Robins toy
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    Robins toy Active member

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    Have you ever locked yourself out of your vehicle or house? In my case, my dog locked me out of my vehicle and I had to improvise. I am also a mobile mechanic that works from a truck, most often. As such, I could have no access to cell service and experience an emergency. Because of that, my Wife/ KH gave me a keysafe that only she knows the combination of to leave under the seat of my work truck. She laminated an envelope that has the combination inside. She also signed the outside the envelope.
    Prepared is always better than unprepared!
    Accidents happen. I view the keysafe as the chastity equivalent of a fire extinguisher. I can pull the pin anytime I want, but the mess will be everywhere if I do!
     
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  20. Ms C.
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    Verified Female

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    Brielle this is a slight misrepresentation of the situation. I wear a key round my neck AND there are two emergency keys in a safe place in the house the whereabouts of which I would tell you in a heartbeat in an emergency.
    My personal view is that I feel like I'm playing a game with the man still holding ultimate control if you hold a key yourself. I don't expect you to force yourself into that cage but if you ask me to cage you, you agree to my conditions. Perhaps we should talk about this.
     
  21. rox
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    rox Member

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    Mrs has a key, and I have an emergency key, hanging on my keychain. For us it is a matter of trust, and I've grown to see my cages as jewelry I may wear for Her.
    just my 2 cents
     
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  22. CumSlut
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    CumSlut Active member

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    love this
     
  23. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    @Brielle although I do keep the laminated key in my car, if my KH/wife said no emergency key, except a hidden one at home. I would probably be equally turned on and scared by the control she is taking for herself. Consider yourself lucky. There are a lot of guys put there that can't even find a KH or build up the courage to ask their wives to be their keyholder.

    @Ms C. It sounds like your subbie needs some extended lockup time for his indiscretion. He should do as he is told, you are doing the right thing for you.
     
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  24. Ms C.
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    Verified Female

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    Thank you for your kind words. I know everyone has their own limits and they must be respected. For me, caging is a beautiful act of trust and submission that requires a response from me that is honourable and responsible. In my view being a keyholder imeans more than just being the Mistress of Bedroom Games. It is an aspect of my authority in this household and a position of trust. With these values in mind, I feel that for Brielle to own a key (even if it's taped up and secured) is like her saying she is submitting, but with her fingers crossed behind her back. That might work for some people and I utterly respect that, but for me, it won't. However I always want to respect Brielles feelings and that is why for some time now I had left (with her knowledge) two keys in a safe and secret place in our house that either of us will be able to access easily in an emergency. Your advice on how I should proceed now is very tempting. In reality I think what Brielle will actually get is time out of her cage to think about how much she really wants to submit to me. Once again, thank you for your advice x
     
  25. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    That is how my wife, Mrs Edge feels about it. While she really likes the idea of me not having any emergency key, she has also has approached this with a practical eye by wrapping my key in tamper evident tape and signing it. Her reasoning is that sometimes one or both of us are working and not within easy contact.

    At one point she made a game of it by checking then randomly, especially as the tape often gets worn in my pocket. But twenty years later, I have easy access to the spare keys, so I can remove the cage when I go for long bike rides. I must text her when I go, and when I put it back on when I return. However, having built up a mindset over the years, I have no desire to cheat.
     
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