Embarrassed

As someone who has behaved as this husband did, I would NOT embark on punishment for his attitude during the scene, I would talk it out as others have suggested.

However, during this talk, if he reinforces a desire for you to lead, I would then tell him you are inclined to punish him for his sullen attitude during that scene. Whether you do or not is up to you. However it's important to remind him there are consequences.

He can be having a bad day, and as a spouse you want him to feel better and enjoy being with you, after all you LOVE him. BUT he has to remember to put your needs at the forefront every day. And if your need is to bend him over your knee, for fun or for discipline, he needs to improve his attitude or it just won't work.

This is a learning experience for you and him. Although my Wife is fiercely dominant, she's also a keen reader of my mental health, and she tends to step back a little if I'm struggling. It's not all just him, maybe spend some time 'reading the room' before a scene. Maybe sometimes you might have to throttle back cause your sub is just having that stereotypical bad day and needs some alone-and-recharge time.

I think some of us who are in successful long term WLM want to help you and offer advice so much, there are so many examples in my life I would share, at the end of the day you just have to find that balance that works for both of you. I really do wish you two the best of luck. It's such a rewarding lifestyle.

 

I may get some feedback for saying this but fuck that guy. Keep him locked for a LONG time, wear your sexiest shit around him, let him see you rubbing yourself, and when he starts begging for some, punish him again and HARDER. Tell him you don’t care if he likes it or not, he choose it and now has to deal with it. Then let him beg some more!

 

All great ideas

 

Thanks

 

After reading the original post I would be inclined to say you were both in the wrong on this one. (Honestly, I read it earlier and am replying 10 hours later, so if I’m off the mark I apologise)

He was wrong in that he didn’t show gratitude or appreciate the experience you gave him. It’s exactly the act he craves and on another day he would be elated by its occurrence.

I think where you have fallen down is that you were too forthcoming without ascertaining the circumstance.

Here’s my take: So you know he’s been sully the evening before. He hasn’t had time to reply. He’s not exactly the husband you want in this moment and yes he should be punished for that. However, you have failed to see his side of it. Is he stressed out by something else? Is he rushed off his feet? Do you know what’s occurring? Honestly, he could just be in a self-pitying mindset and that needs knocking from him.

In my situation I would appreciate my wife showing empathy, but also expecting her to be uncompromising. Take time to find out about is day, and when you have discussed that, maybe resolved some issues he’s facing etc… then remind him it’s not your fault and you won’t tolerate his attitude towards you. That’s the time for his spanking.

 

Is your husband an introvert per chance?

 

A large part of why my Wife and I are in the relationship we are in is because of some struggles I had in life. It was initially a temporary thing but ended up being long-lasting because it just fit who we are and how we wanted to live. So know that if your husband has struggles with anxiety or stress or depression, a WLM marriage can absolutely be a path to recovery for him.

This community has been a huge help to me in learning that I'm not strange, I'm not broken, and I'm not alone. It's very welcome and accepting and non-judgmental. You are in a good place. Good luck!

 

You did nothing wrong it is his attitude. I would not tease him or do anything he likes until he apologizes for his poor attitude. If this is the life he wants then he should act like it. He should thank you for indulging his desires not giving you attitude. Stay strong and if he needs to be punished more to get the message then do what you have to do. You are in charge!

 

From my point of view you did nothing wrong and he should be the one embarrassed by his behaviour towards you during his punishment and attitude afterwards
It sounds like he only wants to play when it suits him so stay strong and don't let him lead from the bottom
A tip for next time spank him when he gets out the shower it hurts so much more on a warm wet bottom
Have fun

I know if I disrespect my wife like that I'm in trouble and her cane is usually involved amongst other things

 

Awesome you put your foot down. Enjoy! I must admit I am a bit jealous now!

 

So awesome! Let us all know how it goes!