Duchess Duchess

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  1. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    Hi,

    Maybe unorthodox to start a journal without having posted an introduction. Well call me old fashioned but I shall wait for Duchess to do the intros. I cannot sleep right now, a painful attack of the Zoom Zooms brought on by some intense dreams. Made it this far, knew it was coming. (Zoom Zooms - remember the Zoom rocket ice lolly? Thats what my chap looks like when he's pushing in the tube, please see my album). So thats why I'm starting this journal, as a distraction.

    In brief (yes and in briefs). My relationship with a fantastic woman, Duchess, has been strong for over two years. A shared healthy appetite for most things sexual has seen chastity on the menu with good portions of BDSM switching. As is often the case I was the kinky sub topping that menu from the bottom, I never realised how bad this was until I saw myself in video - I felt awful! Here was my lover trying so hard to please me in the face of so much criticism.

    Consequently a heart to heart followed, Duchess is taking the reins. I am to guide without leading. Her confidence will grow with experience. I'm in a PA 5000, obviously plastic so its got one of those unpickable trust locks on it made by submission.

    Submission is not all about being pegged or whipped in bondage. A week ago I truly swallowed the bitter pill by performing one simple task for her, she bade me dance for her.

    Now, she is achieving Dominance at a pace and I am learning more about submission to her. Earlier this evening she shocked me by stating that the lock was staying on to a certain date. Not a long period compared to some but much longer than I'd expected.

    I think the only English words to explain my feeling are "I'm a little afeared" and apprehensive and anticipating. Butterflies in a tumble-dryer describes my physical sensation, along with good old fashioned horny!

    See you on the beach :character0180:
     
  2. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    Good luck!


    I love this!!! I wish your Duchess would have video taped that!!! Really, you have a great sense of humor. Something I find to be impossible to live without. I can't wait to hear more.
     
  3. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Hooray for a new journal! :CMrocks:

    From reading I can only guess that you introduced chastity to her? How did that come about? I ask because people do like to know how these things start off.

    pet and I were fairly kinky (I'm older, I'd been kinky for years lol!) but then one day he told me about MCDs and I'd never heard of them. I was mightily impressed by this! Of course it hasn't been plain sailing for us... but that's another very long story!

    Do you aim to be 24/7? Do you have kids around?! Inquiring minds need to know.
     
  4. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    Well, thank you for the encouragements, and yes a sense of humour is essential. Thankfully the dancing session is not on video. It was make or break, Duchess's first bidding after our heart to heart and purely for her pleasure. I was very self conscious to say the least whereas had she wanted bondage or queening it would have been my pleasure. I did not object, I did exactly as I was told. Kings of Leon if I'm not mistaken.

    I was not new to chastity when we met. A previous failed relationship included a CB3000. After meeting Duchess, the sexual nature of our relationship (rabbits on Viagra) meant we were happy to discuss nearly any non-vanilla subject. I can't remember exactly when but I think within four months of getting together, I showed Duchess a CB3000 on Ebay. Her straight forward response was to buy one in Neon Red, simples. Modifications and a PA cable followed, she loved it! Actually told her hairdresser about it. A hairdresser, I ask you - can there be any higher paradigm of confidentiality? NOT!

    The CB3000 had issues: did not prevent successful masturbation, didn't suit the English roll neck and was very 'showy'. After a spell in hospital (non-related issue) the CB3000 stayed in the drawer. But it got a lot of use for the best part of a year. Can be seen in my gallery. I was never really denied for any length of time in that period, topping from the bottom! We were doing a fair bit of role play but more vanilla.

    So, after hospital my sex drive took a tumble, scary! But it has recently revived, phew! An internet shopping spree has resulted in a plethora of toys, some as yet untried and the PA 5000 which has been modified (Please see gallery). The PA 5000 is locked on, Duchess says it gives her control. It is a different kettle of fish to the CB 3000. I am comfortable when flaccid, pained when aroused, it is far more erotic to wear, and as we have discovered, it offers a hell of a lot of scope for teasing.

    I wouldn't say we are 24/7, more reality based. I'm going where she leads now, and already it has become interesting shall we say.

    There are kids in our lives, and step kids & grandkids! But not mine, I do not consider myself old (yeah I know) and Duchess is younger than myself. We have separate bedrooms, about 3 miles apart, go figure.

    So I'm locked again hopefully whilst Duchess makes her point, and thereafter maybe when we are apart, periods and punishments. Who knows? Only Duchess. But I know this - she has locked my chap and in so doing unlocked my emotions.

    Having dipped into one of two of the impressive array of journals in the Vault I am under no illusion that I bring any revelations to the table. But I hope my offerings will be of use/interest to someone.


    There's always someone X
     
  5. Mistress J
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    Mistress J New member

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    Love your journal!
    I remember Zooms! ....This wasn't quite how I thought I'd be reminded of them...but it conjured up vivid imagery! :haha4:
     
  6. RubberDuckDK
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    RubberDuckDK Mistress slave

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    You too have a great sense of humor. It felt quite akward to laugh alone in front of the computer :)))

    You're not the only one topping from the bottom. I did the same and my mistress has struggled to gain control. When fighting to gain control, there is not much room for actual play.. Not unlike you, we found that a chastity belt helped. Its actually very effective and a part of me want it removed, but another part of me want to cherish and protect my present mindset by keeping it on. Very strange feeling..

    Congrats on her locking you up. I will follow your journal.
     
  7. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I love the way you write, utterly enthralling!

    I think you are going to be a popular Vault-member and get LOTS of followers and views!

    Never underestimate what you bring to the table. People here love finding out about chastity in the real (realistic!) world.

    I hope you stick around. :party0042:
     
  8. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    Um...I was a hairdresser for many years. :haha4:
     
  9. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    excellent journal, valsboy. i wish Mistress would share O/our secrets with Her girlfriends.
     
  10. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    Thank you Mistress Watchful, I'm flattered. The self realisation has just registered, another kink to add to my list - exhibitionism. In the safety of cyberspace of course (ha ha).

    Goddess Jen, I begin to appreciate your impish sense of humour. You did have me for a while, smilies often don't register with however obvious they may be.

    Seriously though, the hairdresser tale was Duchess's first lesson in confidentiality. My embarrasment, chagrin and serious concern showed her the importance of keeping personal details behind closed doors. We all different security needs and reasons for maintaining anonynimity or not. Be careful of what you wish for slave john, your Mistress's hairdresser may also cut your Boss's hair!

    Anyway, 5 whole glorious hours sleep last night. That counts for a good night's sleep in my book. I'm actually disappointed about the lack of dreams and zoom zooms. Surely mundanity hasn't become the abnorm?

    Right, must shower. Duchess is calling by shortly, I'm on a promise/threat of a good 'massage'.
     
  11. happypants
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    happypants Goddess Jen's husband

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    goddess jen was my hairdresser!:evilgrin0010:
     
  12. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    valsboy...i work for myself. at this point in my life i don't give a rat's ass what anyone else thinks.
     
  13. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    The Story of Ooh!

    There are some experiences that are a little difficult to communicate, they are taboo. But an anonymous journal on a niche site makes easier to share such experiences, or learn from others'.

    I'd tarried a little too long on the computer so my shower would have to be fairly quick. Once under the water I recalled last night's conversation with Duchess.

    We always speak on the phone at least 3 times a day. She'd said she'd been researching milking techniques. I was impressed, this was her own initiative and was not internet shopping. Trying hard to be the good sub I suppressed my doubts about her choice of site for her research. My prostate has been thoroughly tickled during penetration, but I've never received a deliberate milking. Duchess wants to learn and practise, who am I to argue? So I'd promised to be ready for her this morning. Yes, that does mean what you think it does.

    If you want to play in the A you've got to be clean on the day. Things can get a bit scatty otherwise. Not a problem if you have had nappy experience maybe.

    I usually douche with the shower hoze after unscrewing the head (this is not to be recommended). My wet hands were slippery and I made several attempts to turn the chrome collar before drying my hands and eventually succeeding. Turning the temperature control to cooler resulted in a flow that would have chilled me to the core. Turning it back to warmer and I had the chance to parboil myself from the inside. Anyway eventually I selected the right temperature and job done! As I continued with my shower I realised I'd actually been starting to panic, and the butterflies were doing their thing again. Where was Mr Unflappable? I'm turning into Mr Bean!

    She was a little earlier than I expected. I heard her opening my front door. I turned into the shower, my back to the door ajar. Hoping she would glance in and stand and watch me, believing I was oblivious to her presence.

    So, I finished showering and turned, disappointed not to see her there. Ok she'd be prepping in the living room. Pulling back the shower curtain I was immediately confronted by her sat on the toilet lid. Wham! I nearly jumped out the bath. My pulse rate rose faster than Zimbabwean inflation, and probably higher. Our laughter was unconstrained and childish and joyful. What a clever, beautiful bitch!

    I apologised for breaking my promise, dried off and shaved whilst she sat in the living room. We kissed, me naked, her in her office clothes. Then, without fuss and quite efficiently she set about her task. Anal Lube and a dildo were used as I was supported, doggy style over two sofa cushions.

    10 maybe 15 minutes of probing followed. Sometimes uncomfortable, mostly a pleasure to one degree or another, I did harden initially. Duchess guided the dildo according to my responses. I felt the 'labour contractions' but, oddly, no urge to pee as I often do when pegged. When she stopped we both were surprised that there was indeed some clear fluid in the bowl she'd placed beneath me and a string hanging from the locking bar of my tube. Another drop or two escaped my obstructed urethra when I squeezed the base of my cock.

    I waddled back into the bathroom, with the dildo remaining inside me. Things went a little scatty in the bathroom when I removed the dildo. I locked the door, cleaned the dildo and showered my self down. Once dressed I returned to Duchess and we talked, agreeing that the exercise had been a success in that fluid had been expressed. For her it was not a sexual act , it was functional and necessary for prostate health, she'd learned from it but more practise would follow. Furthermore it was an act of establishing her Dominance, I had submitted to her in a non-sexual manner and allowed her to use me. For me it was not completely non-sexual but it was definitely not erotic, nor sexual. Our discussion made me tingle and woke the flutterbies. But, I didn't feel relief as advertised all over the web. If anything I felt slightly irritable and a little cowed. It was, I suspect, exactly as it should have been for me - a frustrating, anti-climax quite literally. This was not an intimate submission to a gentle, loving pegging nor a hot, hard, horny, strapon fuck from which one or both partners may be satisfied. This was a physical submission to Duchess' control, with no small degree of humiliation.

    I wanted to please her, but maybe she was exerting her control. Or maybe its because she's waiting for the decorators, or maybe she wasn't in the mood. No pussy pie today.

    She practised some with a short cane, we both want a set of stripes on my bum. The stinging pleasure/pain was cathartic and the scene distanced me from the milking. Duchess is going to be real mistress of CP, I just know it!

    I drove her to work in her car. I have spent my afternoon pondering the meaning of our little universe, my mood affected by hers. Of course the curse is temporary and her storm will break this weekend. I know all this but I still want her to always be the laughing child in my bathroom.
     
  14. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    valsboy please accept my apologies from my thread as I just now realized you do have a journal and a great one at that! Welcome! I love the intro and cant wait to hear more.
     
  15. valsboy
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    No offence taken, no apologies required. No worries. :)
     
  16. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    Complexity of Being, Simplicity of Judgement & the Ease of Comment

    Our weekend got off to an inauspicious start. After the young one was in bed we just chilled and talked. Once we were confident he was asleep Duchess told me to please her. Over the last two years or so I have probably spent days between her legs licking, kissing, sucking, probing her. It is always a pleasure. Her white, comfortable thighs become my oasis and I lose myself there, Frenching her like a second mouth. Once she is sated she usually pushes me from her now too sensitive parts, as I am locked and denied and sex is not on the cards, I like to remain between her thighs maybe kissing her rosebud.

    Recovering from her orgasm, she had me lie on my back and began teasing my shaft, running her wet hand up and down with a light grip. This becomes one of those unexplainable delights as her fingers slide over the exposed head, my cock swells up to its 'waistcoat', and the contained remainder swells painfully within its tight constraint. My poor chap turns a deep crimson with the effort. I am sure she could easily take me over the edge but, she must have felt I'd had enough or I was hard enough. Because she then straddled me and carefully, with my help inserted the cage inside her.

    This was not the most successful of positions and at my request we stopped and she eased herself away. I had to beg her to take this process of separation very slowly. Her 'grip' was firm around me and the cage pulling the lock. She giggled herself up to a hearty fit of laughter, eventually explaining that her vision of the two of us on a casualty trolley locked together was the source of her mirth.

    Separated, we moved up to the bedroom. She applied mascara to my eyelashes (purely out of interest she claimed) and was well pleased with the result. Purely an act of submission for me although the resulting effect was pleasing. Now, I wear panties of her choosing and she enjoys seeing me in stockings before she pegs me. I might even like it. But thats as far as any sissy play goes. I'd make an ugly woman, its my rugged charm you see.

    We fell asleep cuddling.

    And then, sometime in the early hours it got a bit complex as you may have read in Duchess' thread:

    http://www.chastitymansion.com/forum/showthread.php?t=2906


    I did indeed wake to find myself overpowering her, from a dream in which rough sex was what she wanted (I have often woken in the night and had sex with Duchess, she has enjoyed it). On finding my cock to be enclosed in its tube, I was fully aware of the futility of my position and rolled back to sleep.

    Morning came and Duchess had to remind me of the night's events. She did indeed painfully demonstrate her anger when the opportunity arose that afternoon.

    I'd been locked in (and denied) for 9 days when this occurred with much teasing going on. Previous lock ins in the CB 3000 were not so serious, attaining an orgasm was fairly easy and the enclosure precluded teasing. Also, strap on play was a rarer occurrence then. Here's my take on what happened. My id surfaced that night to satisfy masculine urges for relief. When the superego kicked in, the tube was enough check to control me, hence back to sleep.

    Duchess is in a period where she is taking control, training if you will, its early days yet - that id is an animal, I know.

    The issue is settled between us, Duchess' punishment has left an impact on my ego that should modify my id behaviour. Should there be a recurrence a different approach will be needed. Seen this way the night terror is simply a natural symptom of training - the dominant alpha in me resisting control.
    I have faith in Duchess, this training period is not over by a long shot and each step of her methods, however small surprises me in its effectiveness.
    As for the some of the more impractical suggestions in Duchess' thread, come on - get real. And as for issues and therapy - you guys! You crack me up! PULEEASE! We are English don't you know. And hey! Everybody take a look around before they start calling black kettles. Its very easy to post a one liner and a simplistic judgement even when its not asked for. The real diamonds in this mine of informative comment are the original and intelligent ones that may change our world!
     
  17. Mistress J
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    Mistress J New member

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    I just read her post about that...and I almost face palmed at the amount of suggestions for therapy! If you were doing it every time you slept next to her and not a one off I'd perhaps look into seeing what causes it...As I said on her post...I've had similar things happen with pet...but he got over it! And it was only once in a blue moon he'd try things on in his sleep. :spankwhip:
     
  18. Goddess Jen
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    Goddess Jen Expert in tease and denial

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    The love you feel for your Duchess is evident. You 2 are a wonderful loving couple. Don't worry about the therapy comments. What I'm more interested in is the punishment she decided on. Details??:spankwhip:?
     
  19. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    Thank you MistressJ and Goddess Jen,

    Did you know 'once in a blue moon' refers to the times when there are two full moons occurring in one calendar month. This is few and far between. 'Fraid to say I get woken by urges more often than that. However, its not exclusively about rough sex, once Duchess and I both woke whilst I was giving her 'Oh'. o_O

    The punishment was, as you've both guessed judging by your icons, CP with a short, thin, lethal bamboo and a longer, leather covered, whippy cane. Not the worst, as Duchess is still exploring, but it did bloody hurt! Kind of liked it too!
     
  20. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    An old Chestnut.

    Submission is often discussed, yesterday I read a post in which a sub stated that his submission equated his status to that of a dog, literally. Another sub stated that he didn't give a 'flying fig' (English translation) about anybody else's opinion.

    My submissiveness, like many others' I imagine lies somewhere between these two positions.

    My submission however, is unique. Yes, that is a bold claim. Unique in that I submit to the one, and only the one. My Domme is my lover, she is an alpha female. Why would she accept as a partner any other than an alpha male? I do not consider myself as just another member of the pack, far from it. But I will be respectful to all I meet without necessarily submitting to them. Subtle differences in meaning exist between the words submission, submissiveness, submission, submitting (to), being a submissive, and being submissive.

    My standpoint is not stated lightly, I have often thought long and hard about this. But it satisfies all the dilemmas and paradoxes of my situation.

    Of course, it might have to change, we shall see.
     
  21. Fantasee
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    Fantasee Member

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  22. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    Thank you for that Fantasee, I shall look into the Nexus range of products and maybe ask RubberDuck about them too.

    I have tried the Aneros prostate massager to no avail, although coupled with a vibe on the perineum it worked well.

    You know, sometimes I think Prostate Massage is revenge for all the times I've not satisfied a partner. It feels good, but not quite enough. I've been following your's and RubberDuck's stories with interest. He is obviously, as you have said, an intelligent and sensitive man. You sound very good together.

    To the Beach! :character0180:
     
  23. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Valsboy,

    Excellent point for us chaste boys to ponder!

    cindy:cat:
     
  24. Fantasee
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    Fantasee Member

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    valsboy... thank you :))) and likewise..

    When I use it, it deffently gives a lot of orgasms... if I want to... a fist is also very good, but for that, you need to do some training first, and especially use the right kind of lube.

    The best one I know of, is J-Lube. It is a powder that you mix with water.
     
  25. valsboy
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    valsboy Member

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    Fantasee,

    Just thinking about being fisted makes my hole wince! Training!? A general anaesthetic maybe... and enough poppers to give Barry Manilow, Barbara Streisand and a small herd of elephants a rush! ;-)

    Respectful,

    Yes, often my points can be ponderous. I read a little rumour that you might be a lumberjack, is this true? How cool. I used to be a lumberjack, but recently I haven't been able to handle my wood.


    Well, nearly two weeks locked in the PA5000, or the Waistcoat. Whats to report? Hmm... no porn, no masturbation, no orgasms, no problems. I'm getting up earlier and am working more efficiently. My feelings for Duchess seem amplified, butterflies of the lovesick teenager. Submitting to her is becoming more natural, as I believe she is beginning to see the benefits of her position (particularly Queening) and discover her dominance.

    But, the dreams I have been having! Sexomnia aside (Thank you Hollytv for putting a name to it), as these dreams occur when I sleep alone. Graphic, explicit all nighters that are both erotic and scary. They contain complex symbolism that has taken no small amount of analysis to untangle. Duchess has been a key figure in these dreams, a comforting Domme presence in visions of our potential future. Now I'm no Nostradamus but who knows?

    Well just had text message, seems I'm cooking tonight. Best get cracking then.

    See you off the shore! :character0117:
     
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