Double Loss of Virginity and Advice Needed.

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by LockedVirgin, Jul 10, 2020.

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  1. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    Hi all,

    I am reaching out for ideas and for feedback. I am in a semi-vanilla relationship, going on 7 years, though we have engaged in chastity for the better part of the relationship. It has often been an on again/off again use of chastity in the relationship. We both genuinely see benefits in it and that has led to us purchasing and anxiously waiting for our final cage (Lori 2a). I've got a MM Jailbird that I've used for the past three years or so which has worked alright.

    Both my SO and I are virgins, have waited (per her request) for marriage, and will be getting married in the next two months. The current plan is for me to be locked immediately once the Lori 2a arrives, and then to remain locked until our wedding night. From that point on, I need some help.

    We love chastity, myself more than her (common I believe), though we haven't been able to find a great way to make it work in our relationship consistently. We have tried formal contracts, but it's so much to keep up with in day to day life. If we have no rules then I often find myself feeling forgotten about, etc. so some structure can be a little helpful.

    I am not into pure orgasm denial, so the idea of being locked for 5 months with zero release is not an effective one in our relationship. I have a severe addiction to masturbation and therefore I want chastity as a way to focus all my sexual energy towards her and our time together. I do enjoy some orgasm denial, but need to still have some stimulation to break the monotony of long lockups. My current thoughts are having a set number of days locked for each time I cum when she lets me out. I am able to cum multiple times when we play, so I think it would be hot to be released to have sex, cum three times (3 days per cum), and it result in being locked up for 9 days barring her wanting sex. If she then wanted sex the next day and I came twice, it would be 6 more days added.

    My end goal is not be able to masturbate, to be focused on her, and to be able to have sex with the focus being on each other.


    I am open to any ideas/feedback/stories/etc. Thanks so much in advance!

    Sincerely,

    LockedVirgin

    TLDR: Help me come up with ideas to spice up us having sex frequently and me stopping masturbation.
     
  2. Mrloched
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    Mrloched Active member

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    7 years is a long time to stay virgins. Is there a religous component ? Do you engage in any other activitys like anal ?
     
  3. Charles3451
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    Charles3451 Active member

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    It sounds dubious to me.
     
  4. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    You just need to work out some variety in how long you are caged between sex. You might use dice, or other random number generators, to give some options other than your sex counting.
     
  5. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    100% religious component. Both of us were very religious at the start of the relationship. I have become agnostic and she is still with the same religious affiliation that we started with.
     
  6. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    No dubiousness here!
     
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  7. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    That’s a great idea. Thanks for the feedback!
     
  8. Dman
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    Dman Member

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    I call bullshit newb.
    Or should I say Silverback!
     
  9. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    Not even sure what that means. And okay? Cheers to your skepticism
     
  10. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    Sounds like you are gonna last about 3 seconds, good luck.
     
  11. madams-sissysub
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    Why does this post seem so far fetched? I was a virgin when I met my madam, and She is the only woman I have ever had sex with. And locked virgin made a valid reason for his choice, I have a co worker who wouldn’t sleep with her Fiancé until after they were married. To each there own.
     
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  12. MissyB
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    Some people are just highly skeptical I guess. Being from the south, that kind of pre-marriage restraint is not uncommon among the highly religious.
     
  13. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    Thanks for this. It’s certainly more common than some believe. It’s taken restraint and chastity fits well in the mix with it. I’m very excited to be married though!
     
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  14. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    Ding ding. She was raised very religious. I respect it, while also being incredibly excited for our wedding night haha.
     
  15. MissyB
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    Well just remember that in sex, like lots of things in life, it helps to ask questions and find out what works, for her and you, and not just assume all is okay. Good luck and enjoy.
     
  16. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    Thanks! We are very good with communication in and out of the bedroom.
    Are you willing to share any creative ideas to incorporate chastity in our PIV sex life?
     
  17. LockedVirgin
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    LockedVirgin New member

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    Hoping to be able to keep going a few more times for her!
     
  18. MrsBR_Saiph
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    MrsBR_Saiph Hotwife & Keyholder
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    I think you are putting the cart before the horse. How can you possibly know what you want in chastity when you don't know what you want sexually.
    Enjoy your wedding night. Get to know each others bodies and what you enjoy, what turns you on. I suspect after 7 years there has been some exploring but you both still have much to learn about eachother and yourselves.
    Take a step back, take a minute to enjoy each other and in 6 months from now start incorporating chastity during the week to build excitement for weekend play. I would slow this down some IMO. Best wishes
     
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  19. Peter Rabbit
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    Peter Rabbit I'm her bunny

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    I agree with this advice.
    It will also make the subsequent denial that much more meaningful

    Our first time was disappointing. Very quick. Six months is a good recommendation. Actually sex only got really good once we both could make noise ;)
     
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  20. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Member

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    You could make a game out of it to begin with, roll dice, draw a card from a pack or similar random way to generate the number of locked days, but as above, until you know what each other likes sexually, any prospect of denial is premature
     
  21. asyouwishmiss
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    asyouwishmiss New member

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    I recommend maybe leaving yourself unlocked for a while.

    I’m cock is always a bit “trigger happy” after a long period of being locked. And it’s usually at least a day or so and a few times orgasming before my stamina returns. And you want to make sure she is being satisfied - she has also waited a long time.

    I recommend you let her set the agenda. And be patient if she’s not ready to lock you up instantly.
     
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  22. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active member

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    7 years and no sex? You are seriously missing out!
     
  23. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Active member

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    I would focus on pleasing your new wife from day one and let her decide what is good for you.
     
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  24. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Active member

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    ^ ZING! There's your answer ^
     
  25. CamH
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    CamH New member

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    Enjoy the newly wed bliss and share every moment with each other. when I was a newly wed I never had to take matters into my own hands we could not get enough of each other. IF you find your appetite for release is more than hers then put chastity back into the mix. your goal here is to be satisfying her. and vice a versa. not satisfying self.

    ps for me I didn't self pleasure for our first 3 years of marriage But once our first born came on the scene. well.. now I am into self locking so I focus on her needs.
     
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