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Don't Expect a Man to Put more “Effort” in to your Relationship than You

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Mascara^Snake, Oct 2, 2017.

  1. That's it. Limit reached. Ignore button hit.

    Sorry @David.2k@David.2k , I really tried, but I just cannot take your negativity any more.
    Keuschling and L-u-c-y like this.
  2. I went back and looked at the content of his posts. He joined, rattled off how nuts everybody was, disappeared, and now resurfaced doing the same.

    It’s almost like a member here started a new account and started pushing everyone’s buttons to get a rise out of people....or he’s....yeah.
    Keuschling and traveler like this.
  3. No it's not a "fact" since you haven't proven it or offered any evidence. You've just stated it over and over as if that was enough, and then gotten upset because you expect the privilege of not being questioned.
    Men fought wars to protect their families. Do you think men want to die in a mud puddle in some foreign country away from the people they love? Go look up the White Feather Ladies who shamed men into enlisting. Women expected them to die for them. They still do. When women were going to be expected to sign up for Selective Service (aka draft) in the U.S., women lost their minds. It's only okay to force men to die for their country.
    51% of the population is female. If women wanted female representatives, they would have female representatives. There are no obstacles to that - particularly since women don't have to sign up for the draft in order to vote - and women are in the majority. As history has shown, women are less inclined to vote based on a candidate's genitals than some people would prefer. What about the other end of it? Women digging ditches, tarring roofs?
    Religion is messed up because it's imaginary friends. The entire underlying idea is messed up and flawed. What's your point?
    What is wrong with sports? Women campaign for equal attention in their sports (despite teenage boys defeating female professionals). Which is it to be? If men are better at it, is that their fault? Do you dislike sports solely because you perceive men to be better at it? Or because you're not any good at it?
    Women are as violent as men. 343 scholarly reviews (270 empirical studies, 73 reviews) confirm it.

    And, since you've moved the goalposts so far, what does any of this have to do with the "effort" men put into their relationships?
    David.2k, traveler and gyrator53 like this.
  4. There are no roles or positions in the United Kingdom Armed Forces that are gender specific. Women have died, Channing Day and Lisa Head for instance. Men have fought wars in the belief they were protecting their families, notably WW2 but in the modern era this is no longer the case.

    The point about religion being messed up is it is now largely and historically a complete Patriarchy. There are still arguments about giving women equal rights in the church. Religion has caused wars or been used as a battle cry for millennia. The two facts cannot be separated.
    L-u-c-y likes this.
  5. And it's one of many reasons I'm against religion, including Islam and Christianity.
    It has what to do with men and their relationships and emotional maturity/communication with their partner?
    There's a saying about relationships: One person is the gardener who tends, and the other person is the flower who gets tended to/You kind of need to be the star of your relationships, you know? I mean, it's all about your stuff.
    Perhaps it's time for the flower to consider whether they even make any room in the relationship for the gardener, instead of just getting mad at the gardener for not doing something they weren't even welcome to do in the first place.
  6. The one thing I have learnt in all of this chastity exploration is how different I see the world than my Wife. I am not in any way going to extrapolate this discovery and say that all men are the same as me or women the same as my Wife as that would obviously be ridiculous. But the saying about men are from mars and women are from Venus is very much evident with us.

    So the fact that men are in charge of religion is linked to how men are in relationships because, well, men. They are who they are and they see the world in the way they do. For millennia men have been controlling women's access to religion and in the same arc men have been controlling women in the home.

    And I think that both partners in a relationship need to be gardeners, tending to the needs of their partner.
    Keuschling, Allen1987 and L-u-c-y like this.
  7. This thread is so far from where it started, yet is interesting so will partake in the fun.

    I think we can agree that men in general have ruled or led modern civilization so far. Great Britain has been ahead of every one with queens and female prime ministers, but the rest of the world is just starting to elect women. In America, women just don’t vote their gender or even for their own rights and benefits. You wouldn’t believe how many women voted for trump here, and he’s a pig, that wanted to take rights and benefits from women. Openly! Heck he even was caught on tape saying that when your famous you can grab women by the pussy and they don’t care. He was even running against a female to vote for.

    Actually in America, the last time a strong female presence had spoken and was heard, was the temperance movement which turned out to be one of the worst ideas in American history. It single handedly created an empire of organized crime and led to the bloodshed in the streets and crime wars.

    I am not convinced that women leaders would do any better at avoiding conflicts...at least not with other women leaders. When women dislike one another, things sour in a hurry. Most of the women I’ve dated actually don’t get along with other women very well. Anyway, I think it’s a power thing anyway, and absolute power corrupts absolutely...no matter what is between your thighs.

    Fun stuff
  8. Trump/Clinton gender swap experiment.

    Which is healthier?

    There's a strong irony/hypocrisy this conversation occurring in "The Pedestal". The entire milieu of the femdom roleplay paradigm, like any dom/sub relationship, is completely dependent upon the emotional honesty of the sub - in this case, the man (I'm not up on the lesbians, but I can't imagine they call it "femdom" amongst themselves). As everyone knows, power can only be given - it cannot be taken, not by anyone of any gender.

    Yet the charge is being made that men don't put as much effort (srsly?) into relationships, including their ability to express their love for you. The very existence of this room absolutely disproves that entire notion. Because you literally - wait for it.... literally - cannot dom a sub unless they want you to. Without an emotionally honest man to agree to be your sub, it's not a Pedestal - you're just an idiot up on a concrete plant stand. Your entire role in the game exists only because of him. If he taps out, then the game ends. Apparently the fact that he doesn't, in something that is a completely optional activity (you do remember this, right?), just goes entirely unnoticed as having any meaning.

    Sweetie, if you don't think you're getting devotion and love from your sub, who wants to worship and be dominated by you, then you're probably doing it wrong. If you're really just not paying attention to his devotion, then you might as well admit you're not just not doing your job. You need to admit that you're letting him down and let him find someone who is better at it, because otherwise you're just wasting both your time.
    David.2k likes this.
  9. i think war is horrible but i like gardening. Mistress says i'm from Pluto. and i'm glad cos She says that Venus is the most dreadful place and its all very very hot and nothing cud ever live there. oh and it don't rain water its acid stuff.
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  10. Hahaha over me calling her a feminist? That is a fact. Get lost already
  11. Just to recap, when all is said and done it is without a doubt far easier to train a man to put more effort into your relationship with the aid of Chastity.

    If you’re being taken for granted and all the effort he made to court you and the romance has gone. Then this can re kindle it.

    That’s been my experience anyway.
  12. I’m not saying that there aren’t other ways of training him to respect you but a power exchange in that level really helps.
  13. Of course chastity will get you there, it’s pretty self-evident. Just like putting a bulldog on a chokehold will make it docile, locking a lion in tight confinement will make it less aggressive, and so on.

    Physical restraints are VERY efficient in modifying behavior. The question is why on earth would you want this.

    If the only way for my girlfriend to be devoted to me was to make her wear a restrain on her body, then I certainly would want nothing from her.
    To me devotion is only worth a damn when it’s genuine out of the person’s own will. If you need to fabricate it by putting a chokehold on them like a damn mutt, then it's pretty sad that anyone would be happy with that.

    Now, people like you or @Thatgirl@Thatgirl will likely scorn at this, and say it’s not sad at all and perfectly healthy to achieve devotion and proper attitude by putting a leash on their partner’s balls. To each their own I guess, people have different standards.

    So yes you can do it, but if you need to physically restrain them to get it, then you two just might not be compatible. Plenty of other people out there.
  14. The same thing over and over David. It's getting a bit tedious. Have you still not got all the attention you need yet?
  15. Furthermore I've notice that long term chastity tends to increase respect for and understanding of women in general.
    Except of course in some cases.
    slave_m likes this.
  16. @David.2k@David.2k who?
  17. True...........sad but true. Needs to be worked on!
    Mascara^Snake likes this.
  18. @Mascara^Snake@Mascara^Snake , I'm not sure its about training. Maybe it could be, we've never played chastity long enough. For me it seems more of incentives. Life is busy for us. I work all day then have to pick a kid up from track practice, then an hour later drop a kid off to football practice, then another hour and half pick him up. About this time my wife gets home and makes dinner. Its around 7:30 in the evening. We have an hour and half to cram in dinner and homework before its the kids bedtime. Around 9:30 the kids are in bed and we look at each other like :confused: lol. There's no energy or time for sex and we both know it. So in our case I think chastity brings an incentive to spend some time to be intimate. I think for her its about getting some attention with no worries of having sex. For me a its a little tougher but obviously I need some attention from her and gladly want to give her that attention.
    Keuschling, traveler and Allen1987 like this.
  19. Ok lets call it behaviour modification then if you don't like the word training.
    And his behaviours are more malleable when he is locked. More willing to correct things when prompted. More willing to learn.
    slave_m, Keuschling and Alceste like this.
  20. I don't want to disturb a hornet's nest here, but as one who spent most of my adult life like a bull in a china shop, let me say that behavior modification is applicable in all aspects of a man's life. Behaviours are certainly more malleable when locked and sex is not a primary pursuit. Being prompted to be corrected is not necessarily the main focus. I think a man can step back and say to his mate "Tell me what I am doing and have done in the past that has disappointed you, upset you (when you didn't let on), or embarrassed you and I will work on changing my behavior because you would welcome that change and I want to make you happy.
    harddenial and Mascara^Snake like this.
  21. @Mascara^Snake@Mascara^Snake , I can live with behavior modification :p. I think people get stuck in their ways and need motivations and incentives to change. I think in a lot of ways, we men, know we need to change but for lack of a better word we are lazy and sometimes require the carrot on the stick. Plus its really fun :D
    Keuschling and Mascara^Snake like this.
  22. Well Inverknew its nice that you at least don't have such a fragile ego.
    Yep, men are indeed inherantly lazy and the nothing box tends to be their default. Which is why sport irritates me.
    Men spending such a lot of effort doing nothing is so wasteful.
    Keuschling and ineverknew like this.
  23. I know I'm incredibly lazy, it's just in my DNA and I had long term relationship before my current one when I just didn't lift a finger or make a jot of effort. Probably why it ended. I'm glad that chastity makes me a better partner. Recently I've done a deep clean of the whole house and I couldn't believe how much dirt just didn't register at all. My Wife notices all of it of course. Chastity just drives me to please her and I actually end feeling a bit proud of the work I've done and I really like seeing my Wife pleased with me. It's a win win where we're concerned.
    Keuschling and Mascara^Snake like this.
  24. You should be proud Paulie.
    Pleasing your wife is beautiful and lovely thing to do.
    Keuschling and paulie slave like this.
  25. @Mascara^Snake@Mascara^Snake , I'm not sure about my ego but I do know I'm just a humble person. As for the nothing box I don't think thats true. Men tend to check the "I'll just take care of myself" box rather then nothing lol. Thats how we get ourselves into these messes ha ha.
    Mascara^Snake likes this.