Don't Expect a Man to Put more “Effort” in to your Relationship than You

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mascara^Snake, Oct 2, 2017.

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  1. Adventures in Chastity
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    Trump/Clinton gender swap experiment.

    Which is healthier?

    [​IMG]
    There's a strong irony/hypocrisy this conversation occurring in "The Pedestal". The entire milieu of the femdom roleplay paradigm, like any dom/sub relationship, is completely dependent upon the emotional honesty of the sub - in this case, the man (I'm not up on the lesbians, but I can't imagine they call it "femdom" amongst themselves). As everyone knows, power can only be given - it cannot be taken, not by anyone of any gender.

    Yet the charge is being made that men don't put as much effort (srsly?) into relationships, including their ability to express their love for you. The very existence of this room absolutely disproves that entire notion. Because you literally - wait for it.... literally - cannot dom a sub unless they want you to. Without an emotionally honest man to agree to be your sub, it's not a Pedestal - you're just an idiot up on a concrete plant stand. Your entire role in the game exists only because of him. If he taps out, then the game ends. Apparently the fact that he doesn't, in something that is a completely optional activity (you do remember this, right?), just goes entirely unnoticed as having any meaning.

    Sweetie, if you don't think you're getting devotion and love from your sub, who wants to worship and be dominated by you, then you're probably doing it wrong. If you're really just not paying attention to his devotion, then you might as well admit you're not just not doing your job. You need to admit that you're letting him down and let him find someone who is better at it, because otherwise you're just wasting both your time.
     
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  2. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i think war is horrible but i like gardening. Mistress says i'm from Pluto. and i'm glad cos She says that Venus is the most dreadful place and its all very very hot and nothing cud ever live there. oh and it don't rain water its acid stuff.
     
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  3. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    Just to recap, when all is said and done it is without a doubt far easier to train a man to put more effort into your relationship with the aid of Chastity.

    If you’re being taken for granted and all the effort he made to court you and the romance has gone. Then this can re kindle it.

    That’s been my experience anyway.
     
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  4. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    I’m not saying that there aren’t other ways of training him to respect you but a power exchange in that level really helps.
     
  5. paulie slave
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    paulie slave Locked house husband

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    The same thing over and over David. It's getting a bit tedious. Have you still not got all the attention you need yet?
     
  6. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    Furthermore I've notice that long term chastity tends to increase respect for and understanding of women in general.
    Except of course in some cases.
     
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  7. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    @David.2k who?
     
  8. thundar
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    thundar Member

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    True...........sad but true. Needs to be worked on!
     
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  9. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    @Mascara^Snake , I'm not sure its about training. Maybe it could be, we've never played chastity long enough. For me it seems more of incentives. Life is busy for us. I work all day then have to pick a kid up from track practice, then an hour later drop a kid off to football practice, then another hour and half pick him up. About this time my wife gets home and makes dinner. Its around 7:30 in the evening. We have an hour and half to cram in dinner and homework before its the kids bedtime. Around 9:30 the kids are in bed and we look at each other like :confused: lol. There's no energy or time for sex and we both know it. So in our case I think chastity brings an incentive to spend some time to be intimate. I think for her its about getting some attention with no worries of having sex. For me a its a little tougher but obviously I need some attention from her and gladly want to give her that attention.
     
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  10. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    Ok lets call it behaviour modification then if you don't like the word training.
    And his behaviours are more malleable when he is locked. More willing to correct things when prompted. More willing to learn.
     
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  11. thundar
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    thundar Member

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    I don't want to disturb a hornet's nest here, but as one who spent most of my adult life like a bull in a china shop, let me say that behavior modification is applicable in all aspects of a man's life. Behaviours are certainly more malleable when locked and sex is not a primary pursuit. Being prompted to be corrected is not necessarily the main focus. I think a man can step back and say to his mate "Tell me what I am doing and have done in the past that has disappointed you, upset you (when you didn't let on), or embarrassed you and I will work on changing my behavior because you would welcome that change and I want to make you happy.
     
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  12. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    @Mascara^Snake , I can live with behavior modification :p. I think people get stuck in their ways and need motivations and incentives to change. I think in a lot of ways, we men, know we need to change but for lack of a better word we are lazy and sometimes require the carrot on the stick. Plus its really fun :D
     
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  13. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    Well Inverknew its nice that you at least don't have such a fragile ego.
    Yep, men are indeed inherantly lazy and the nothing box tends to be their default. Which is why sport irritates me.
    Men spending such a lot of effort doing nothing is so wasteful.
     
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  14. paulie slave
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    paulie slave Locked house husband

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    I know I'm incredibly lazy, it's just in my DNA and I had long term relationship before my current one when I just didn't lift a finger or make a jot of effort. Probably why it ended. I'm glad that chastity makes me a better partner. Recently I've done a deep clean of the whole house and I couldn't believe how much dirt just didn't register at all. My Wife notices all of it of course. Chastity just drives me to please her and I actually end feeling a bit proud of the work I've done and I really like seeing my Wife pleased with me. It's a win win where we're concerned.
     
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  15. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    You should be proud Paulie.
    Pleasing your wife is beautiful and lovely thing to do.
     
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  16. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    @Mascara^Snake , I'm not sure about my ego but I do know I'm just a humble person. As for the nothing box I don't think thats true. Men tend to check the "I'll just take care of myself" box rather then nothing lol. Thats how we get ourselves into these messes ha ha.
     
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  17. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    I disagree, I think the nothing box is a mans default. Given a chance he will go fishing or watch golf on telivision or one of many other "nothing" style activities.

    Ugh seeing man watching telivised sport when he could be doing something useful makes me so irritated!
     
  18. MRGermany
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    MRGermany New Member

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    So
    would you say a male-or better all males should be place in chastity? This would improvement the males behaviour so much?
     
  19. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    I would be very happy to see all males placed in chastity.
    A pipe dream I know but thousands more do seem to be developing an interest each day.
    It's a symptom of our time.
    In these end of Empire days.
     
  20. MRGermany
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    MRGermany New Member

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    Would be intresting i think but the Problem would be in the devices. They can be broken ans a male could easy escape. When this Problem is solved real chastity could start
     
  21. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    There are indeed a number of possible teething problems.
    However. Promotion and acceptance in the mainstream would be a very good start.
    And in a way that's up to you boys here.
     
  22. MRGermany
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    MRGermany New Member

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    When. Do you think a Boy should Start with it? In my case i like to wear one as Teenager.
     
  23. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Ms Amanda

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    MR, we are getting into the realms of fantasy here so I think this is a topic fmight be more apropriate in another thread don't you?
     
  24. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    I was just about to ask what the heck “nothing box” is. TV. Got it! Thankfully for me, I’ve never been into sports, especially watching - I’ll play some golf when the weather is cool enough for it, but that’s about it. Id also rather gouge out an eye before I spent a day fishing. I say “thankfully for me” because I’m sure me not being your typical sports obsessed couch potato is among the few things that counterbalances my other, decidedly “dude-like” traits that I’m sure aren’t the most attractive (not naturally inclined to pick my clothes up off the floor, leave the bathroom a disaster rushing off to work, a bit of a temper, etc.)

    TV is the enemy of productivity and should be reserved, as it is in my life, for late late night after she’s gone to sleep and my insomnia grants me a few more hours of lucidity, or lazy Sundays watching movies with her laying on my lap.

    Sometimes I think we over complicate things. You’d have to ask her what chastity does for her. It was her idea. I try to take a very simple view on it - do I enjoy it? - that’s my criteria. If I enjoy it then I don’t see a reason to deny her this thing that she seems to love. There are times... but mostly I’m fine with it. I don’t see why it has to be more complicated than that. As it is with our relationship in general. I don’t see any reason to deny her things that make her happy that are within my capability to provide.

    Some here are just scornful, envious, and generally sour. Lifting admittedly decent arguments on behalf of men (the whole moron father sit-com thing is very aggravating to me as well) and pingeonholing them into validations of otherwise weakly made points that presume to tell everyone else that their personal choices have meaning beyond what they themselves assign them, or are just otherwise wrong. Poppycock.
     
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  25. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    >3min edit: (@Adventures in Chastity - Sorry, I wasn’t actually referring to you above. I thought David had mentioned the male-Denigrating nature of modern sit-com. Guess he didn’t make any good, if unrelated points. You made some good points in here about communication especially and seem mostly much more reasonable)
     
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