Don't Be Fooled By Fake Experts

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mistress Jules, Jun 24, 2017.

Random Thread
  1. Mistress Jules
    Offline

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
    Staff Member Administrator Verified Female

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    1,372
    Likes Received:
    4,526
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Company Director and Professional Dominatrix
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    Isn’t it surprising in this world how much credit we give to people who are only names on screens or experts in one thing so we presume they know about other things?

    Now I have so much more real-life experience it seems rather scary that I believed so much that was written on fetish sites by people who were not what they seemed. Men pretending to be women, chaste males who were not chaste etc. Even worse, their experience in many cases was all online and most of it was fantasy.

    The reason I am writing this is that last night at club I met a young man who was visiting Glasgow. His partner travels all over the country and abroad giving talks and demonstrations on a particular fetish that requires a lot of care and safeguards when being practiced.

    When I told him that I was chastity orientated he told me a story of how they had tried it but it hadn’t worked, it was too painful. This is two lifestyle kinksters invited to various events and they had given up on chastity.

    When I asked what they had been doing the answer was very simple. They had seen on some site about chastity so had ordered a CB6000. When it arrived having checked some advice online he put it on and attempted to keep it on for a whole day and overnight. The poor boy was in agony.

    When I explained to him about spacers and rings and changing until he found a comfortable fit and only then trying to wear it for a few hours at a time he felt much happier and was heading home to try again.

    I was so surprised that these two lifestyle kinksters could be misled by people who seemed so knowledgeable online but actually were only relating fantasies. If they can be misled by an online persona it shows how easily it can be done.

    I suppose when I first found this world because I joined a fet club and got involved with kinksters in real life I thought everyone else would do the same. It seems I was wrong, there are still many out there who cultivate personas purely online dishing out advice based on their own fantasies. Having spoken to this young man it shows you just how dangerous this can be.

    I think that is why @lockit and I still keep coming back to CM, underneath all the excited newcomers and obvious fantasists there are real people trying to live the lifestyle and they are a great community who help each other as they find their way.

    Hopefully the young gentleman I was talking to will start to enjoy chastity. I am looking forward to seeing them at the next club they attend to see how he is getting on. I shall let you know.


    Originally posted on mjkhscotland.co.uk
     
    joe01, sissysnax, Mash2214 and 5 others like this.
  2. Steve-0
    Offline

    Steve-0 Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2016
    Messages:
    399
    Likes Received:
    523
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Healthcare
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    3:09 AM
    One could definitely end up in some trouble if one believed all the nonsense out there. Good to have dedicated, knowledgable members like yourself to help :)
     
    Mash2214, lockit and Mistress Jules like this.
  3. Mistress Jules
    Offline

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
    Staff Member Administrator Verified Female

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    1,372
    Likes Received:
    4,526
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Company Director and Professional Dominatrix
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    Why thank you, very kind of you to say. I just felt so sorry for the poor boy last night, but hopefully he will be able to enjoy himself soon.
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  4. Shepherdsflock
    Offline

    Shepherdsflock Long term member

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2016
    Messages:
    1,679
    Likes Received:
    3,806
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    5:09 AM
    Even in the realm of sex play, a good dose of common sense is beneficial. If it hurts, stop and reassess what is going on (unless pain is your goal).
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  5. Mascara^Snake
    Offline

    Mascara^Snake Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    4,656
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    Indeed, there's nothing worse than a self proclaimed expert.
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  6. Mash2214
    Offline

    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,697
    Likes Received:
    9,506
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business Owner, servant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    4:09 AM
    I can relate to the young man. My first experience was similar. But with a home built " lock it and leave it on ", I posted the experience on my post "On Display " if anyone is curios. Long story short Pain, blue balls, frozen pees and a potentiially embarrassing situation. Thank God for places like Chastity mansion LOL
     
    lockit and Mistress Jules like this.
  7. LockedPom
    Offline

    LockedPom Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2016
    Messages:
    1,063
    Likes Received:
    1,051
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    8:09 PM
    Far too much fake stuff out there. There are quite a few kinksters (mainly men) who seem to think that tumblr is the source of all truth. There are even quite a few fake FLR and spanking blogs out there. If it reads along the lines of male fantasy, then it probably is a male fantasy!
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  8. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,075
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    5:09 AM
    Yes, I saw a blog once that I use to keep up on and enjoyed reading. I was interested in it because it seemed we were heading in a similar path. Then It was posted that she had a neighbor witness the spankings and misc...ummm I'm calling bologny! Then it had other fantasy stuff about getting a helper to discipline him. More bs. I was disappointed.
     
  9. LockedPom
    Offline

    LockedPom Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2016
    Messages:
    1,063
    Likes Received:
    1,051
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Australia
    Local Time:
    8:09 PM
    There was a very well written FLR blog by a young couple that started earlier this year, which read like an A to Z of male FLR/spanking/chastity fantasies. Started in chastity (purchased by mother-in-law) with seemingly no issues. Wife invited around 2 young friends who just happened to have partners interested in FLR. Yeh, right! They had a bit of an issue with comments claiming it was fake, which they then deleted, and changed comments to being reviewed. I'm pretty sure the comments claiming it was fake were probably right!
     
  10. Mash2214
    Offline

    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,697
    Likes Received:
    9,506
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business Owner, servant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    4:09 AM
    I'm hinting that your directing your comment towards me. I totally agree with you six months ago I wouldn't have believed it either. The direction a persons life goes isn't always predictable. We're all entighteled to our Opinion.
     
    Mascara^Snake likes this.
  11. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    3:54 PM
    I have had issues with the fantasists as well, and at times I have even considered stopping posting because I became disillusioned with the sheer level of nonsense I was reading. How can someone like me compete? I am doing this for real but with a 'normal' Wife. She's not interested in cuckolding, doesn't want to involve anyone else, least of all her family. She is developing the way we live so incredibly slowly that at the time it sometimes feels we are going in reverse, until I take the long view and realise how far we have come.

    Thank you for giving me an alternative viewpoint, that it is important that those of us doing this for real stick around and get involved, share our stories, experiences and viewpoints.

    Also @Mistress Jules I want to thank you for your recent posts. They have all been thought provoking and have brought about some very interesting responses and discussions.
     
    lockit and Mascara^Snake like this.
  12. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,075
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    5:09 AM
    Actually no, it was a blog. I can't remember the name of it now, something about I spank my husband.
     
  13. Mascara^Snake
    Offline

    Mascara^Snake Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    4,656
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    I think sometimes it's best not to be too hasty when calling "fantasists" out.
    One persons idea of normal may be very different from anothers.
    I have seen and witnessed enough to make me think twice about labelling someone a fantasist.
    Some people live very different lives and their outlook and experiences can bear absolutely no relation to my own..
     
    Mash2214 and Jasmic68 like this.
  14. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    3:54 PM
    @Mascara^Snake first, I want to start with saying how pleased I am to see you at the Mansion. That truly has made my day.

    I agree with you about not calling out fantasists for two reasons. One is that it doesn't achieve anything, the other is you can never be 100% sure that they are not in fact telling the truth. I do however read fantastical posts that come across as being true accounts without spilling over into fantasy. For me a key indicator is consistency, there is also something about the language used that either leads me to believe or make me doubt.

    I have never been to a fetish club, wouldn't know how to find one, what to do if I did find one or what to expect. Elle has mentioned as part of a tease about taking me to a professional Domme so she can be taught how to discipline me and raise the ante with regards her use of tease and denial. While I fully believe that this could happen, it is very much her approach to all aspects of life to find an expert for advice, neither of us have a clue how to make it happen. But if either of those things ever did happen I would potentially describe them in detail and they would be so far removed from my experience to date that it could sound like a fantasy to others.

    I enjoy reading much of what is posted in the Mansion and try hard to give advice when I see an opportunity. I certainly don't claim to be an expert.
     
    joe01, Mash2214 and Mascara^Snake like this.
  15. Mascara^Snake
    Offline

    Mascara^Snake Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    4,656
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    In this particular case, experts are only experts in their own field. Often that field has boundaries which they have set themselves.
    Always they only have their own experience to refer to. And however limited their experience is they may still be considered expert within the boundaries they have set themselves.

    In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.
     
    Mash2214 likes this.
  16. Mash2214
    Offline

    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Messages:
    3,697
    Likes Received:
    9,506
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Business Owner, servant
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Canada
    Local Time:
    4:09 AM
    Your so right people are so different. Some people can't ever imagin being spanked for example. Personally I crave it.
     
  17. filltee
    Offline

    filltee Junior Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2010
    Messages:
    3,378
    Likes Received:
    2,502
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Sheffield. South Yorkshire UK
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    We live and learn through our own experiences. hopefully, and at times through the shared experiences of some others. When those shared experiences are based on real events and are truthfully presented, how ever well conveyed, that are potentially immensely useful. When the experience is based purely on fantasy and is presented as fact there is the potential that someone through ignorance or naivety will be misled with unpleasent and/or undesired consequences.

    Fantasy is good in many ways I wont go into but it does have the positive potential of providing ideas others can consider adapting but should never be mispresented as the truth.
     
    lockit likes this.
  18. hunci
    Offline

    hunci Member

    Joined:
    May 6, 2017
    Messages:
    45
    Likes Received:
    22
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    11:09 AM
    That is tipically a submissive male fantasy that a mother in law buys a chastity cage for him. Pathetic bullshit, happens never. Even that is pretty rare that a wife buys that.
     
    lockit likes this.
  19. Mistress Jules
    Offline

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
    Staff Member Administrator Verified Female

    Joined:
    Oct 27, 2013
    Messages:
    1,372
    Likes Received:
    4,526
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Company Director and Professional Dominatrix
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    Thank you @Jasmic68, very kind of you to say. I think @lockit being so seriously ill was a wake up call for both of us both in real life and our kink life, which obviously has been stalled whilst he recovered.

    It is nice when you can see someone who is doing things for real and see the struggles are real. As opposed to having someone pontificate on their view of what should happen when you know they are not involved with anyone in reality. Keep up the good work and enjoy.
     
    Jasmic68 and lockit like this.
  20. Joroincharge
    Offline

    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2009
    Messages:
    4,143
    Likes Received:
    2,427
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    England
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    There are fanasists out there (mostly male) by the myriad. Many just plain time wasters. Though it is not unknown for a fantasist to find someone who will take him literally so he ends up being on the receiving end of reality, leaving him to reflect on BCWYWF once she's got him by the balls every which way.....:):):):)

    It's been done.;););)
     
    Mistress Jules likes this.
  21. tomf_22033
    Offline

    tomf_22033 Long term member

    Joined:
    Aug 6, 2008
    Messages:
    3,040
    Likes Received:
    3,706
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    VA USA
    Local Time:
    6:09 AM
    It's not just online. Although online gives anonymity so it's worse.
    I've belonged to several BDSM groups and people say and make up all sorts of things. In one case I was viciously attacked because I stood up and tried to keep someone from getting hurt by someone else who was a so called expert that was unsafe and doing things that permanently damaged people.

    Personally I suggest people take all the see, hear etc with a grain of salt. Take time to figure out who seems to know what they're talking about and what kinds of people are giving the advice.

    In the case of being attacked, my sin was speaking up against someone who was popular and they didn't like being challenged.
     
    lockit and Mistress Jules like this.
  22. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,075
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    5:09 AM
    Maybe I'm a nervous nelly but when it comes to things that have the potential for harm, I would be Leary of any "expert", but then again telemarketers seem to find victims.

    It's almost criminal and certainly negligent advocating certain activities as safe and easy. A few months back there was a fella here advocating filling food and drinks into their bladder! Lucky someone was responsible enough to post on his thread how potentially dangerous that was! Inserting food into my penis would ring some alarm bells for me, but to the same poor guy that falls for telemarketing scams...who knows.

    Glad there are people here willing to add their knowledge and common sense to help those with little of either.
     
  23. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,075
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    5:09 AM
    Maybe I'm a nervous nelly but when it comes to things that have the potential for harm, I would be Leary of any "expert", but then again telemarketers seem to find victims.

    It's almost criminal and certainly negligent advocating certain activities as safe and easy. A few months back there was a fella here advocating filling food and drinks into their bladder! Lucky someone was responsible enough to post on his thread how potentially dangerous that was! Inserting food into my penis would ring some alarm bells for me, but to the same poor guy that falls for telemarketing scams...who knows.

    Glad there are people here willing to add their knowledge and common sense to help those with little of either.
     
    lockit likes this.
  24. lockit
    Offline

    lockit Advanced Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2010
    Messages:
    1,967
    Likes Received:
    1,047
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    London
    Local Time:
    10:09 AM
    In my day job, I have used tech sites for information where so called experts have endangered lives with their advice had the real professionals not stepped in. Giving advice to people who have no idea of the danger they could be putting themselves in. These “experts” are not to be found on a building site or in a builder’s café, they are found behind a keyboard spreading their incorrect information to anyone who will listen to them.

    I can draw parallels between my working life and chastity. I work in the trades with trades people in my day to day life and I find some information online. I am wary of this online information and will always check with someone I know in my day to day working life.

    I also attend varying BDSM clubs on a regular basis and have met about 50 regular attendees in this time. Some professional, some lifestyle and some just curious. So far, I have yet to hear anyone in these events spouting fantasy but there are plenty of discussions about how to do things safely and what is possible with various fetishes. Information found online is very seldom taken at face value unless the author has attended these events and is known in the community.

    In both these situations online personas who spout their “knowledge” can cause great harm.

    That’s why on this forum I see no need to call out a fantasist who is only telling a story, there is nothing wrong with a good story, as long as it is a good story that cannot cause harm.
     
    joe01, Nicoftime and Mistress Jules like this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice