NOTE: I am for last six months in chastity without a device, no touching, and quite enjoying it. Our relationship was in crisis three years ago, but now is much stronger. .... So, I have to ask you this, since it seems different from most posts here. While I have a great fantasy about my wife being a hot wife, me being a cuckold, us being swingers etc. something she doesn't want to do, I also have a desires to be a poly myself. She is definitely traditional christian monogamy raised, where women are serving man and raising family, while males provide finances and go around and cheat, or have don't ask don't tell agreement. In my family, both of my parents were cheating on each other. Also part of my culture. So these are the social/family programs we carry with us. It is paradox, because she likes to be dominant and in control, yet in her programming she is subservient, something she hates. While I enjoy being submissive to her, I also want to enjoy playing and having sex with others, and she really doesn't want that. How can this work? One Idea is that she is willing to control the whole situation, and let me do only what she feels comfortable with at the moment, and I go with it because I like her control. Now she said she is OK I play BDSM with others, but not sexually. The tricky part of that, is that I get too frustrated being too controlled, and enjoy my time with other people, without restrictions. If I repress myself too much, I can act out in a way that is not healthy, or maybe even build up resentments. It may not even be fair to the other person who starts to have feeling towards me. I wonder who else is dealing with frustrating situation like this. I have been looking up Mono+Poly groups and seems that there are ways people bridge this incompatibility. What are your suggestions or experiences? Thanks.