Does Self Locking Count? Meme Attached. . .

Discussion in 'Online chastity and self locking' started by palockedm, May 12, 2019.

  1. palockedm
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    palockedm Member

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    I am not trying to start a flame war or anything, please don't hate me.

    We have all heard the saying "Chastity doesn't start until you want it to stop."
    So, does self locking actually count as chastity? This is my current situation. I can get out whenever I want. Using sites like Emla or keysafe, or the ChastityKey App, I can lock myself with the keys in a safe, but there is no way that I can bring myself to use that without an emergency key, because "what if?". Also, those sites have an option for a panic release (or buyout in the case of the ChastiKey App). So, I CAN get out whenever I want.
    I may find someone to encourage me to stay in, but that is still my choice to proceed and stay locked.
    But, if that is true then could the same be said for a relationship. I believe that every relationship is consensual, and if I just one day decided that I didn't want to do it anymore, then that would be it.
    Consequences aside, I could still make that choice if I wanted.

    So, does self locking count as "chastity"? Or does it mean to the person whatever they want it to mean?
    I'm curious as to what everyone thinks.

    isit.jpg

    Meme attached.
     
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  2. Unlucky
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    Unlucky Long term member

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    We've heard it and some of us have decided that it is nonsense.

    As you noted, you can technically get out if you really, really, really wanted even with a keyholder. Even if you weld things shut, you could technically drill your way out. Does that still count as chastity? If not, what does? Castration?
     
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  3. quietlyDevious
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    quietlyDevious quiet but very Devious

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    As you mention in your post:
    In any consensual relationship, the choice to end is ALWAYS there.

    So, when you fly solo (as I am right now), it is more of a commitment to yourself. I don't want to fail, I'm not going to fail, no matter how bad I want that orgasm, no matter how bad I want to touch myself, I don't want to fail. Also, in getting involved with a community (ChastiKey for myself), as you talk with others and they start to know whats going on, if you fail ... you fail the community ... so another source of encouragement.

    In the end, it is what you make of it. No matter if its solo, with an online key holder, or a local, physical relationship, it is what you make of it.

    So yes, Self-Locking is Chastity.

    qD
     
  4. Guest 4328
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    Guest 4328 Long term member

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    What they said.

    Unlucky and quietlyDevious, thank you. Those were very meaningful posts. Liked them both.

    I am self locked, completely by choice.24 7 365.

    I can come out any time, but choose not to. It's circumstances. It is a love gift to my wife. I chose chastity to dignify and honor her, and myself. I have no agenda, no endgame. I have been in 17 months now and have no plans to stop.

    I made a personal choice to sacrifice having my intimate needs met. I do derive a measure of pleasure and fulfillment from being in the cage. It feels better than not being in it. If it's wrong to embrace and enjoy the feel of being in the cage, sue me.

    I take it off about every week and a half for deep clean and shaving.

    I take great, yet humble, pride in honoring my wife by way of locking myself in chastity to show respect for her physical limitations.

    By definition, chastity does not mean celibacy, though I am celibate, or refraining completely from sexual activity. It means, to conduct oneself in a proper way sexually, within the boundaries of decency. According to most dictionaries, it is refraining from premarital and extramarital sexual activity. A husband and wife, the two alone together and exclusively, engaging in sexual activity, is considered chaste.

    So chaste, or chastity, has its various meanings based on the context of the conversation or situation.

    Even on CM, everybody has a slightly different take on it.

    So locked by a wife, keyholder, yourself, whatever. Are you putting things where they belong and not where they don't? Your individual answer should decide that for you. You is or you ain't. It's not me, it's the dictionary defining the standard for chaste. Society changes its standards like I change my underwear, except the ones I put on are cleaner than those I took off. Society, kinda the opposite. You understand that metaphor or you don't.

    Everyone has their own story of why they lock themselves in chastity cage, or have someone do it. If you are doing it to improve your relationship with your wife, abstain from habits you are trying to avoid, dignify the fidelity of your union, then I am thing that sounds chaste to me.

    If you are self locked, and you are striving for a lofty goal, like quietlyDevious so eloquently described, would you not agree that is chastity? Given that you are doing this with no one but your conscience and your drive, I would think that is even more honorable. Do you only do the speed limit when the cops are around? Are you self-willed (or self locked) to do the right thing even when no one is there?

    So is self locked, chastity? Does it count?

    I will let you decide.........

    Disclaimer: I just wrote this to be thought provoking. It is not to fuel disagreement, but, rather, agreement that you can define chastity different ways, with the common denominator being personal growth, self improvement or relationship building.

    And that's what I think. Lol :) Peace.

    :love:4:lockkey:
     
  5. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    #5 buildup, May 25, 2019
    Last edited: May 25, 2019
    If were not in a relationship I would not be interested in self-locking. I like being trained by my Wife because she has power over me. I don't think I could do it on my own even if I were interested: I need the psychological supervision of a relationship; but not a cage. Another plus for us was chastity was basically my Wife's idea. So this adds to the dynamic.

    In the end, I think self-locked chastity is personal thing mainly and I don't want to say it's not really chastity. Respect to people who self-lock.
     
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  6. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    It counts. It's not for me, but it counts. Different rules for the same game. It's like asking if it counts as poker if you are using wild cards. Of course it counts.

    It's probably more fun with a keyholder....
     
  7. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Yes it counts, definitely. You're making a conscious decision to abstain, and as long as you do it counts.

    Well done and good luck
     
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  8. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    I agree about it probably being more fun with a KH because of things like random T&D
     
  9. Mactastic
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    Mactastic Long term member

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    I think all of this is funny. There are no real laws surrounding any rules of chastity. You can go as far down that rabbit hole as you like, but the definition is quite simply to choose to not have sex. The definition is not - to have a lock, or have no access to a key.

    Therefore applying a device or not applying a device to abstain from sexual activity are both considered chastity. Abstaining on your own or with a partner is chastity. Maintaining a scheduled release on your own for health reasons, or participating in scheduled release with only your partner is chastity.

    Sometimes I think that everyone here forgets that this is a game and meant to be fun. We are all here to choose to do this and be a part of this community because it is fun. In life an individual can only choose to give authority (rights) to another individual. At any time one may choose to stop participating.

    Even here I think that we can all agree that - Safe, Sane and Consensual "Play" has a safe word. I'm sure that if chastity play were either no longer fun or damaging in some way (mental or physically) any participant would and should exercise the use a safe word to stop - Thus making even partnered play non permanent and stoppable upon request. That makes it the same as solo play....

    Definition of chastity
    1 : the quality or state of being chaste: such as
    a : abstention from unlawful sexual intercourse
    b : abstention from all sexual intercourse The priest took a vow of chastity.
    c : purity in conduct and intention sought to protect her threatened chastity
    d : restraint and simplicity in design or expression … describes the familiar campaigns with an admirable chastity of diction.— Richard Brookhiser
    2 : personal integrity

    I'm just saying. It's getting too serious and judgy around here. Solo chastity is still chastity and who are we to judge?
     
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