Does being in chastity inevitably lead to cuckold fantasies?

Discussion in 'Novices and newbies' started by Parley, Sep 26, 2019.

  1. Parley
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    Parley Active member

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    My wife and I started chastity play about 7-8 months ago. She puts me in chastity on weekdays...let's me out on the weekend for a "Sex Night". I'll have to say our Sex Night is usually pretty hot!

    But, more and more over the last few months I've been having cuckold fantasies. To be clear, I don't want an open marriage. I don't want her to have a guy on the side. I'm quite sure she doesn't either. But visions of me in chastity, watching her get a good fucking from another man keep popping into my brain. When I'm having these thoughts, my cock twitches hard in its cage. Really hard! I'm glad the spare cage key is not easy to get to. On background, in most ways other than my chastity (to stop masturbation...ironic isn't it?) I'd say we are pretty vanilla.

    Is this a normal fantasy for men in chastity?
    I was thinking about telling my wife about these fantasies. I would NOT be asking to live it out.
    Who has experience sharing a cuckold fantasy with a vanilla wife?
    How did it go?
     
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  2. Peter Rabbit
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    Peter Rabbit I'm her bunny

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    I don’t have them. But it’s ok for your mind to wander anywhere. My wife has repeatedly expressed fantasy interest in women, but specifically said she’s not wanting anyone to penetrate her, except me, when she wants it. (She likes to be in control.)

    As long as you aren’t hounding, or puppy dogging, or pressuring her with a fantasy she’s not interested.... a low key, open (short and succinct) communication about your fantasies is healthy.

    I used to have long pent up fantasies that I’d gush out that kept going and never seemed to end. It’s better for her when I just say it.

    Often times she knows already what’s in my head. It’s amazing how much I communicate and then forget.

    I would just tell her. Don’t make it a huge big deal. Let the idea resonate or not. People also evolve their thinking over time.

    My wife went from tolerant about my chastity and orgasm denial, to embracing, to “not going back” ever over the course of 5+ years.

    She’s even now teasing me about permanent orgasm denial. Seeing how it affect my libido and reaction is what drives her. The mindfuck appeals to her.

    So if you’re open and honest and frankly a little vulnerable in communication of your fantasy, you’ll let her know what’s in your head, and she can control and decide from there. She might react to how you react and amplify things.
     
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  3. BarbCD
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    BarbCD Active member

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    I can’t answer whether it is normal or not, or even how common/uncommon it is.

    I do not have that fantasy at all, and neither does my wife. We are more aligned with what Peter Rabbit said just above.
     
  4. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    Just the thought of Mrs Chaste "going with another man" is to me the ultimate nightmare and would be the end of my world! Far from making me hard, it would induce an immediate "erection failure"! I remember after a recent disagreement with Mrs Chaste that wasn't resolved before bedtime, having a dream where she left me for another! Woke up in such a panic I can tell you! I suppose it demonstrates an underlying insecurity and I know I have a lower opinion of my worth than others have of me! We are indeed a funny diverse bunch even within our community here! I enjoy reading about cuckolding on our forum. It doesn't turn me on but I find it fascinating, especially the way couples seem to be able to incorporate it into their relationship and both enjoy it without damaging what they have! Whatever you do, have fun. That after all it what matters!
     
  5. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    It will only lead there if you both want your relationship to go there. The further you get into chastity the more open the two of you will become to new ideas.
     
  6. cshorts
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    cshorts Locked in love for SL

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    You asked about fantasy, not acting on it. Do t know if it’s more common among chaste men than others, but it’s clear from hanging out here a while that it’s *common*. I doubt any fantasy is inevitable — we all have different subconscious formations.
     
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  7. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Active member

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    Yeah I’ve certainly had the fantasy, but like @Chaste J. I think the reality would be a disaster for me. I have low self confidence and self esteem about my body (always insecure about the size of my penis). It can remain an occasional fantasy, I know my wife has absolutely no interest in having sex outside our marriage.
     
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  8. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    In a good relationship, that's very true.

    If you asked either my wife or myself 5 years ago whether either of us would have a cuckold relationship, then you would have been met with an absolute "No!".

    After around 5 years of using a chastity cage, she surprised me. It was nothing really, she's always joked about fancying a particular film star, so whenever she sees him on the TV there a joking "He's hot" or something innocent like that, but this year a couple of times she's joked about having a lover herself. One sentence, a chuckle and move quickly on to a non-erotic subject, but it's there. Since we started chastity, she's become less self conscious about saying things, still way down near the vanilla end of the scale, but a definite shift to being more open with her sexual thoughts. And one thought inevitably leads to another.

    I'm the same. While before I couldn't think of a situation where I would be able to cope with my wife having a lover, now I have a small collection of cuckold images and I often fantasize about her cuckolding me, especially when she's on one of her business trips away.

    I'm slowly becoming more submissive, she's slowly becoming more dominant, and slowly our fantasies are changing to reflect that. After all, is there any expression of power greater than the woman having complete control over who she has sex with, while the man is denied and has no say? There's also the male to male power dynamic in a cuckold relationship, the alpha male reinforces the submissive status of the cuckold.

    So no, it's not inevitable, but I think it can be a consequence of the changing power dynamic.
     
  9. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    @Parley , I agree with @bondinchas . It's a fairly normal fantasy developing out of your increasing submissiveness. The longer you're in chastity, the longer she controls your erection, the more submissive you feel. That's why the other submissive fantasies -- for her to tell her friends, for her to display your cage to her friends, for her to comment on your small or inept or prematurely ejaculating penis, for her to peg your ass, for her to make you permanently pussy-free etc -- are also so common among us. To be a cuckold is the ultimate submission.

    Whether you tell her or not is up to you. My wife would not want to hear that -- her fantasy is to have an emotionally available husband who puts her first in all things and loves her relentlessly, and she knows chastity helps her that way. She would find that fantasy destabilizing.
     
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  10. Kel Ford
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    Kel Ford Member

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    I have always described to my wife how much I enjoy fantasizing about her cuckolding me. Her reaction has always been "well it's never going to happen'. Well the other night while I was locked up (and had been for 4 days) she told me she was going out for a little while. I said 'where are you going?" and she said 'oh just to get a few things'. I responded with 'are you sure you aren't going to visit your boyfriend?' - to which she replied 'no, if I was going to do that I would just tell you'. I was immediately straining in my cage.
     
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  11. Parley
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    Parley Active member

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    Thanks for the advice
     
  12. Blue00
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    Blue00 Member

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    Well stated. Something to pay close attention to.
     
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  13. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    Some keyholders will have no interest in the dominance fetish aspect of being a keyholder, they get their pleasure from the things that you do for them, not from the being in control.

    Others will have or will discover pleasure from the actual domination, the ability and power of being in control. It's perfectly possible to change your dynamic, in fact it's possible for the same person to be dominant in one environment, a submissive in another and a switch in yet another, alternating between the modes as they change environment.

    You could be dominant in your sport, being a team captain of your football team.
    At the same time at home you could be submissive to your wife, being caged in chastity,
    and at work you could be a switch, dominant over your subordinates, but submissive to your superiors, or changing roles when working in multiple project teams..
    We all play different roles in different aspects of our lives, and we can change our behaviour if we see advantages for us, or for another person.

    What I'm trying to say is, if you think you know your keyholder, don't assume they can't or won't change. My wife has surprised me at times, who's hasn't?
     
  14. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    It's certainly not inevitable, as a number of respondents have testified. But it's not unusual either.

    As for telling her, you want it to remain a fantasy only, so wouldn't the best way to ensure that be to not talk about it?
     
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  15. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Active member

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    My Wife(KH) and I have talked about having a third person, whether male or female join us...And we both said no. She has told me straight up that she never wants anyone else with us...And if I did, we would be done. I have always said the same thing. We talked about it, just in case one of us wanted it. But we both agree, it will never happen...
     
  16. madams-sissysub
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    I didn’t have any cuckold fantasy’s at all, it was after chastity and our flr that madam bought up cuckolding me.
     
  17. Erika and Peter
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    For us, it was the opposite chronology. We started cuckolding some years ago, with increasing denial for my husband over the years and finally cessation of PIV sex. I continued to have sex with other partners. Recently, we decided to proceed to the next logical step of caging him, hopefully permanently.
     
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  18. Sussex UK Sissy Cuck
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    The cuckolding came first here, with chastity only recently adopted as a way to enhance it.
     
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  19. herboi
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    herboi Member

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    off topic, your avatar is wonderful
     
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  20. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    Thanks!
     
  21. HT89
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    HT89 Member

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    I would love for this to happen. Not for a power thing though, just to experience it as I am quite open to most things
     
  22. Xanadu
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    Xanadu New member

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    Thanx for the advice.
     
  23. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active member

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    The answer is no, not always. Depends on the couple and dynamic. It only interested me after we went swinging. Before then I would have been horrified.
     
  24. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    that like saying if chastity will make you into a girl. course it dont cos everbody is difrent.
     
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