Does anyone else have to ask permission for things?

If that makes you happy that is great,but for me stuff like that is not what chastity is all about

 

I am supposed to get her permission to masturbate. I’m not always caged
and on rare occasions I will do it without her knowledge. I feel terrible afterward.

When caged I have to ask her permission (I much prefer it that way). Sometimes her answer is yes (after being unlocked I kneel in front of her to do it). Other times her answer is no.

 

Same here, I have to ask permission to, for pretty much anything, if I wish to watch a tv show madam is not keen on I usually have to give here a neck massage for the duration of the programme. I also have to ask permission if I wish to purchase anything for my self.

 

The only thing I have to ask permission for is an orgasm (usually it’s a “no” but we like it that way)!

 

We have a written contract that we signed as part of our marriage vows. There is a written rule is that I have to ask permission for anything she hasn’t already explicitly approved, or that I could possibly be unsure about.

Separately from what is written she has told me that she expects me to report to her on everything I do, and I have gotten into serious trouble for complaining about having to do so.

Despite the written rules, It doesn’t end up being super formal, I end up saying ‘I’m thinking of doing …, is that ok?’, or ‘would you mind if I …?”, or “would it be ok if…”.

If she isn’t happy with me, her main way of handling it is to just tell me what to do and not give me any free time until she is satisfied. She generally won’t bother to explicitly deny my requests - she’ll just ignore them and tell me what she wants me to do instead.

 

To add to this, when she is unhappy with me she won’t tell me whether she is just dissatisfied with how attentive I have been or whether I have actually transgressed in some way.

This is a very intense part of our contract that is much more of a mind trip than I imagined when we signed it.

We have written rules that I must apologize as soon as I realize I have done something wrong, and that I must always demonstrate to her satisfaction that I understand what not to do again by explaining it to her out loud, and that she will not let me escape either of these steps. It is also a rule that I am not allowed to defend myself ever or to offer any explanation without permission.

In my mind this described a kind scene where I would be reprimanded and have to apologize and submit. It wasn’t an easy prospect, but it was excitingly real and something I was happy to agree to.

What I didn’t take into account is that the rules don’t say anything about her needing to tell me what I have done wrong, and when she isn’t happy with me, she isn’t the least bit interested in my fantasy reprimand scene.

What she actually does is just take away all my free time, get really demanding of me, and doesn’t hide her disapproval or dissatisfaction.

Then she just keeps this up until I figure out for myself what she isn’t happy about, and can prove to her that I’ve learned my lesson.

It’s an insanely effective mind trip that there is no escape from because even if I haven’t done anything wrong and she is just in a dominant mood, I’m forced to pay attention to how well i’m living up to our agreement and apologize for things she didn’t even notice, whether I’m actually in trouble or not.

 

No formal punishments like spanking etc. but what she does is far more powerful.

Also, a lot of what she wants to correct is more subtle things like my attitude and what my attention is focussed on, which can’t so easily be named and punished.

There isn’t really any space for maintenance. Our relationship has been D/s from the start and she won’t tolerate anything other than submission from me.

 

Most things I don't _have_ to ask, but a lot of things I do more out of politeness and respect. Some things like going to the pub by myself require permission. And as for unlocking - well its pointless asking, the answer is always no, even if she had plans to unlock.