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Do you want to know when you're going to be allowed a climax?

Discussion in 'The Play Room' started by SteelPleasure, Oct 14, 2016.

?

Want to know when you're scheduled for release?

  1. I need to know when my next orgasm will be

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. I want to have a rough idea of when it will be

    12 vote(s)
    19.4%
  3. I like to be told and then have it taken away

    14 vote(s)
    22.6%
  4. I do not want to know

    25 vote(s)
    40.3%
  5. I don't mind either way

    6 vote(s)
    9.7%
  6. As a keyholder: I like to be clear about it

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  7. As a keyholder: I like to keep them guessing

    2 vote(s)
    3.2%
  8. As a keyholder: it's none of their business

    3 vote(s)
    4.8%
  1. We are quite new to all of this, my wife/KH and I. It's been just under a week.

    At the moment, I do not want her to let me know when I will be able to cum. In fact, I want the denial to go on for as long as possible. A few days into the denial, she suggested I may be allowed to cum that evening after some teasing and if she was pleasured enough herself.

    I actually felt disappointment.

    I want to see how far I can go without a climax. I want to feel that psychological change in absolutely not being able to orgasm for an extended period to see how it affects me and how it impacts our relationship (hopefully in a positive way, of course).

    That night I ended up not having a climax, luckily, and after a long and incredible teasing session she locked me back up. We had a conversation about it and I think she now understands, let's see how far we can go. Let's see where it take us.

    I believe that being able to orgasm, I'll just lose that pent up desire and pleasurably tortured feeling of needing to stroke my shaft, which already has transformed into an overwhelming desire to touch and pleasure my wife as much as I possibly can.

    How do you all feel about it?
     
    joe01 likes this.
  2. Every couple is different, but will give you a small lesson that has taken years and many hurt feelings before they learned.

    Your opinion on whether you should cum or not should have no part of her decision. I understand your initial disappointment that you want to test yourself, but giving control is just that. Not only is it her decision how long before an orgasm, she's also in charge of how quick. As a man, just imagine her giving you the keys to the car and saying honey I want you to drive. Then she tells you which route, how fast or slow, you should put it on cruise, you should get fuel here etc. etc.. You would be thinking...why don't you take the keys back.

    Same goes with your chastity. She will quickly lose interest if she just following your fantasy. If she wants to see you cum, that's what the lady gets. That's the sacrifice we make, suggestions are sometimes ok, by all means communicate what makes you tick. She will figure out what's best for you as time goes on. She is learning too, and they need to be able to be free to never be wrong.

    Good luck to you both!
     
    boisub, manintyres, Chas4us2 and 2 others like this.
  3. I agree with Nicoftime, but I know my wife struggles with the idea that she is "being mean to me". I actually wrote her a note where I quoted the song you need to be "cruel to be kind". I emphasized that what she saw as "mean" I saw as a favor. She has been more dominant since then, so little suggestions and guidance from you don't hurt. When push comes to shove though, she calls the shots.
     
    Nicoftime likes this.
  4. I am in the either way is fine group but it depends on the situation. If a birthday or anniversary is coming up she might set that as the target date but sometimes targets can move. In general my wife will give me an orgasm when she feels that I am stressed or unhappy. Our agreement is no set limit on orgasm denial but rather I get one when my wife senses I am in mental or physical distress. I am coasting along fine right now after 3 weeks of denial so she will keep it going as long as she can. I am guessing 3 more months when it is my birthday as the outer limit but it can be as early as Easter. My wife seems to like orgasms before, on or after holidays for some reason.
     
  5. As a newbie, I would find it frightening to not have some limits. Say sometime within 14 days I would need release.
     
  6. We are all different, so my "system" won't suit others. My kh response is that I keep him guessing. I keep him guessing because I try to make both locked and released times random. Either event may be days or minutes. That's because chastity isn't the only, forgive the really inappropriate simile, tool in my box! It can suit my needs to hav him locked, other times he is far more use to me released. When I worked I was stuck with timetables and deadlines. I do not want to be back in that mindset. J x
     
    mrfelix and manintyres like this.
  7. You haven't included an option for I want to know but she ain't telling.
     
  8. My Wife uses a similar type of system for us. Yesterday she had me unlocked but unused all day. When I asked her if she had any thoughts of a release date for me she said that's something that I don't need to know, and locked me back up.
     
    manintyres and thefemdecided like this.
  9. I'm single at the moment but when I do find my partner/keyholder at first I'd like to know when I'm going to be allowed an orgasm as we start our journey then after a while build up to not knowing when or if she will allow me one .
    My last keyholder gave me 3 weeks for my first one (ironically we didn't play after ,well apart from me doing household chore for her but it ended a few weeks afterwards) and that was good for our first time because it "broke me in gently" and she decided to leave me cage free for a few weeks because she was going away with her partner so I did kind of feel lost but she was in control and what she said went (and yes I was free to orgasm as often as I wanted too if I wanted ) .
     
  10. I don't want to know. My wife writes a calendar date on a piece of paper, puts it in an unsealed envelope and puts it on the counter in the kitchen. She know I won't look, and I am never tempted to look.
     
  11. My Mistress/KH gives me no indication when I'll get a release. After my releases at Easter she said the next one would be in July. She may allow me one before if I'm extra nice to her but I have No idea when and I don't want to know. To always be excited about the Maybe works well for me.
     
    manintyres likes this.