Do you start over?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Chastity2024, May 15, 2024.

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  1. Chastity2024
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    Chastity2024 Active member

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    I know I have asked a few questions about taking breaks and things like that. When you are done with your break do you start your count over? I was locked 23 days and took a 1.5 days break for my skin to clear up. I’m back locked up this AM to see if everything is ready for long term again. So far so good. If skin holds up let’s go back to KH and we continue on our way to long term lock up.
     
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  2. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    At some point counting is pointless. You're in until you're not. I still keep track though I realize the futility in it.
     
  3. Pepe_
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    Pepe_ Active member

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    It really depends. For us, a very temporary unlock for an event with metal detectors, travel or medical reasons typically doesn’t count as an unlocked period.
     
  4. Chastity2024
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    Chastity2024 Active member

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    That’s what I was thinking to myself. It wasn’t mine or my KHs choice to have irritated skin. My only time promised out is in July sometime since we are going on Vacation.
     
  5. Gabriellia
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    Gabriellia Long term member

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    I agree with @Mr_anonymous and @Pepe_ I don't think most people would count it. That is why you see some people count Days or even hours locked but they also mark when Cum or have PIV. I think when tracking, Hours is kind of fun as you can track total hours per month. So when you take a night off here are there. that 8 to 12 hours doesn't make much of a difference a 720hr / 30day month.
     
  6. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Happily addicted to Tease & Denial

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    Yes, I restart the ticker after taking a break from being locked up... But unlocking myself for the weekly hygiene upkeep doesn't count. As things stand, I currently don't have any reason to unlock myself, as I would no doubt revert back to my old habit. I might need a break sometime later down the road, but as others have suggested; One month at a time.
     
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  7. OrdinaryGuy
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    I'm my mind, 30 days locked implies there were a few hours here and there without the cage on (for cleaning and such). No erections. If it truly was never removed, than I would expect that clarification, 30 days on without using the key.

    That isn't the same as 30 days locked without orgasm, but let out periodically for play. If that's the case, I'd expect it to presented as such.

    And that isn't the same in my mind as your situation of 30 days locked with only a day or two break. So I'd think of it that way. It still shows a ton of commitment.

    My point is, the total time locked only works generally, and if you want to consider your situation particularly, just add the few extra words for the needed context.

    I'd also say it's your game so use your rules. If you are going for an achievement of sorts, set that goal and measurement as you desire.
     
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  8. WhyMe33
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    Personally I don’t count removal for cleaning/hygiene. If it’s off for more than 5 min, I consider starting over. But it’s all in all your call.
     
  9. Never2bfree
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    Its like an alcoholic (though I have never been one). After so many days you got a token. But after a while, its day by day. Each day is an accomplishment.

    Please note I am not equating fighting alcoholism and being in chastity. This metaphor was for the time element.

    For me, as a member of the permanent chastity club, the goal and the accomplishment are the same. Every day is day one orgasm free. Tomorrow starts day one....again.

    As the Mr anonymous quote points out, at least for some of us, it becomes futile to count.
     
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  10. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Happily addicted to Tease & Denial

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    I was an alcoholic for a number of years... If you paid attention to my past posts, you'd note I was a SERIOUS party animal from my late teens to my late 30's. Had to quit it because things got out of hand... Believe me, staying locked in chastity is just as tough as keeping the bottle closed... If it weren't for the fact that being horny & frustrated literally all the time gives me more pleasure than constantly jerking off all the time, I would've quit chastity within the first couple weeks.
     
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  11. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    I keep a list to track the Wife’s orgasms, and how she has them, how many days a month she chooses to not have one. For my list, I keep track of dates for ruins and full orgasms, dates I get to have piv and that’s about it. Oh, and any free days, but those are extremely rare any more
     
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  12. vinnyD
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    We do not count days nor have an orgasm schedule. After 14 years of chastity play we found what works best for US to keep us going so long. Our chastity is simple. My wife allows me to orgasm when she feels like it. It can be months or weeks depending on my behavior towards her and her desire to make me orgasm.

    My penis is 4" erect and even Viagra does not get me hard. Adding to this is my wife's bisexuality which leans more towards sex with women than men. She would be fine with zero sex with me but she loves me and I threatened to get a girlfriend if she did not have sex with me every so often. Chastity was our solution to both our problems.

    Why the need to count the days? Chastity is not a contest although you will find plenty of guys boasting about how many days they have been locked. No prizes are offered for going the longest. I have been into chastity for 25 years with the last 14 years using a chastity cage. We tried it all and yes, we counted the days locked too at first.

    However, we found the best way to ensure longevity versus most people here who will be gone by this time next year is to do chastity in a way that both you and your key holder like. I am locked all the time except when I am not. We do not count the days and we take breaks each year as well as change our chastity play. I have gone 5 months locked with no orgasm other than a few ruined ones. Only problem was that I did not enjoy it so as we do each year we changed our chastity lifestyle. The willingness to change and not try to do chastity like all the porn stories and videos show is why we are still doing chastity.

    What we do is real simple. I am locked and denied orgasms for as long as my wife wants. She may get so excited during sex that she wants me to cum or she may want me, like now, to wait two months until my birthday or 4 months until our anniversary. She may make me cum twice a month. It is up to her. She loves me so she makes sure that I am OK with what is going on. At first she was happy to make me go months between orgasms and be locked up every day. That was because she was used to having her girlfriend living with us to have sex with nightly and now we were just a couple again and not used to sex with males.

    Over the years she never got another girlfriend so she had to have sex with me, a male. We do not have sex like most. No form of penetration for the last 25+ years and oral once or twice a year. Sex for my wife is having orgasms with her vibrator as I kiss and caress her. She can cum in under a minute at times and have multiple orgasms until she cannot take it anymore. Sometimes she allows me to use my hand to make her cum and that has happened more and more since 14 years ago when she did not like me to touch her vagina.

    Long and short of it is that we do take chastity breaks when necessary. We may go 6 months or three months and take two weeks off of chastity. Sometimes we have waited a month or two before starting chastity again when one or both of us has had medical issues or surgeries. She had a hip replacement one year and stomach issues another while I had two surgeries and other medical problems which made chastity impractical.

    We also leave our fetishes in our bedroom. By that I mean we do not allow our sexual fetishes to interfere in our day to day lives. Yes, I stay locked but if we go out, I am not locked. I will never understand why a guy needs to be locked when flying on a plane. Can't he wait until he boards the plan before he locks up again when he lands? Sometimes we get so focused on the fetish without thinking that there is no need to do it 24/7. If you are going to be jerking off if left unlocked for a few hours, chastity is not for you. I travelled to 21 countries and simple did not wear my cage until I got to my hotel room at my destination. We used plastic locks with serial numbers and i took a picture of it to send to my wife daily to show I am locked and therefore she did not have to worry about me having sex when overseas as I used to do along with all my business partners. I was wearing a cage so I avoided the gold diggers you find in expensive hotel bars.

    Why do you need to be locked when you go out to dinner with yoru wife? Are you going to jerk off in a men's room? Maybe it is because I spent 10 years on the honor system before I bought my first cage. If I promised something I kept my word. Well most times. I am only human. But so what if I had an orgasm or two a year without permission if I was away for long periods of time. Is there a rule book I violated? Is it the end of the world? Nope, just carry on when I am back home again.

    So my advice is to do chastity in a way that will keep it as your sex life for as long as possible. That is much better than 90% of the men, even the men here, that will stop doing chastity in a few months after they start. I was on this site when it first started under an alias. The only ones left are one or two moderators who now own the site. For a very few exceptions, even guy I knew in chastity stopped it within months. On a few of us adopted chastity as a lifestyle. Guys come and go in that order it seems because real life is not a porn video or story where all you fell is sexual excitement. it is like being cuckolded. Sounded great so we did it and I was not aroused at all and neither was my wife. She did not even orgasm or get aroused by the guy fucking her despite his best efforts. In fact, after that she said she is done with other guys and moved her girlfriend in to live with us to form a poly triad. Even with that we had no rules. We were together for 30 years with no problems at all, even after our gf got married to a cuckold. We just adapted to changing situations and never, and I do mean never, visited a sex site online. At the begining there was no internet so we just did things that we enjoyed. We did not try to follow the "rules" as seen in posts and porn.

    So if you can only stay locked for two weeks at a time, that is what you should do. Take breaks when required and just make chastity something you do when you feel like it. To us it is our sex life now because my penis is not able to get hard and is too small to even feel according to women. Plus my orgasms at my old age are not that great to begin with. In my younger days I was not allowed to have sex my wife and her gf but they did allow me to masturbate as they sexually tortured me. Most times they would tell me to wait until maybe next week and as I learned, finding a stiff tissue in the trash resulted in a bloody ass whipping and bruised balls so I tended to obey them but not 100%.

    In short, agree with your keyholder on what you both want to do and then adjust as needed and take breaks when necessary. Isn't it better to do it this way than just quit because you are unhappy locked 100% of the time? We did every fetish in Fetlife and did it our way discarding fetishes that we lost interest in and keeping the ones we liked. The one common thing was that we always did fetishes our way, not the way others tried to make us think was the only way or as if there are some rulebooks or a contest to see who is more manly.

    No chastity contracts as they are always done by men and reads like a user manual. If i do this I get spanked. If i do that, then I get my balls kicked. Really. They read like a manual of what the guy has to do to get what he really wants done to him. Plus when you start making changes it gets so confusing as the change may contradict another rule you have and as we learned, we were following different versions of the chastity contract and it got messy so we just did away with it.

    This is our chastity agreement. Sex is for my wife's pleasure only. She does whatever she wants and if that means making me cum daily or monthly, it is up to her unless it results in making me or my wife unhappy with our sex life in which case we change it. So be flexible and do whatever works out for you, If you cannot agree, find something else. In my case I like extreme sexual pain which my wife's ex girlfriend was into. My wife is OK with whipping my ass and the occasional face slap but does not like to hurt me except for my nipples. Her gf would burn and cut me. She got into strangling me and punching my face and balls. My wife is not into that but did spend 6 months using me as her toilet until shen no longer was interest in it because I was into it and she wanted to do it as punishment.

    I wrote a long post to say do it anyway it works for the both of you. There are no rules so do not ask about them. The only thing to do is do what you like and ignore anyone who tries to tell you how to live your sex life.
     
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  13. locked viking
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    locked viking Active member

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    Wow that’s some typing!!
     
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  14. Locked_Koala
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    Count it if you want. Don’t if you don’t. You make the rules for your chastity game. Anything can be nuanced or disclaimed. There is no rule making authority, except maybe your Keyholder.
     
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  15. M@rcellus
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    M@rcellus Long term member

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    I would say it's more about orgasm denial. Chastity is my mistress' main fetish. Yet she let's me out more and more when in her company and supervised. So that sore bits can heal I suppose. The last time we met she made me do the housework naked with a vibrating butt plug. She laughed a lot as she was able to cycle through the vibrations and give me an erection that I wasn't allowed to touch. It came and went with both hands on the hoover or otherwise busy. She often follows me around with a strap or horse-riding crop. So no, this would not be a situation where we start over. But as Mr anon pointed out, there are no durations after a while, for us at least. My genitals are only for her to play with when she wants not something she feels obliged to tease or pamper. They're mostly used for her sadistic pleasure. There is no clock to set to zero.
     
  16. Elfman
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    Elfman Gay werewolves & martinis

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    Yes, a break restarts any clock.
     
  17. herluckyboi
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    herluckyboi Long term member

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    Depends. When unlocked for a clean and shave, no. When unlocked for a necessary medical visit or travel, no. If unlocked for more than a day, the clock restarts.
     
  18. Kat9s toy
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    Kat9s toy Long term member

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    I do, even for an extremely brief unlocking. That's Mistress' instruction. But how long it's been locked isn't as important for Mistress as the percentage of the time it's been locked.
     
  19. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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    Count the full orgasms as a major reset and the ruins and play as part of the ongoing period of denial.
     
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  20. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Happily addicted to Tease & Denial

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    That's basically what I do... I only reset my ticker if I have an orgasm out of the cage. If I get a ruined/spontaneous orgasm, or if I make myself cum in my cage then I keep the ticker going, because I didn't unlock myself in the process. I'm still locked up and I'm not playing. The timer on my chastity ticker is true. :+1:
     
  21. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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    I have had a full blown O in the cage, so I counted that as a reset, because I knew I'd feel the drop.
     
  22. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    I once went two years without breathing except for a really tiny breath here and there, which clearly didn't count.

    I have been without sleep for 176 days except the odd nap, and one time, when I was at ham camp, I went 2 years and 14 months without urinating except for the a small bit of pee constantly leaking from me and wetting the be3d every night.
     
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  23. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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    How you define a locked period is a personal matter. I actually stopped keeping record this year, so I can only say it feels like 2 or 3 weeks. I can experience a ruin that might put me back a few days, and I'll suddenly go from zero to 10 days in perception. I've experienced a range from a few days to nearly 3 months so I get an idea from how horny I feel.

    If I say I've been locked 24/7 for nearly 4 years, we all know that needs clarification.
     
  24. PornAddict103
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    PornAddict103 Happily addicted to Tease & Denial

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    I think some people tend to over-complicate "how long" they've been locked up... I like to keep things simple and say if I didn't cum outside of the cage and I'm not taking a leave from chastity, then I'm still locked up. Simple is always better. :cool:
     
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  25. Pepe_
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    Pepe_ Active member

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    Agreed with the simple. As long as the principles you’ve agreed to are upheld why make it more complicated.
     
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