Do you have any secrets from your wife?

I don’t my wife would either too bad though
I think if she did with an open mind she could get a lot out of it

 

Yep, that's pretty much my wife too. I can't even suggest the idea without her getting upset.

 

No secrets.

 

One. I love to smell her dirty underwear, especially after she's worked out. I don't tell her because I think she'd prefer I don't in this case, plus its harmless.

 

Telling Her everything or answering honestly every question may be a better question. Do i tell Her every little mistake i make, leaking in the cage but not always cleaning it up, no but if She asked i would certainly admit to it and accept the punishment.

 

I used to not tell her... I was afraid of what she would think... But since I got enough courage and she loved the idea I believe that was the best thing that could happen! I fell owned now... And that is soo good!

 

it must be really good if as many of you say your partner accepts all you do and is happy to allow it to continue, however for the ones whose partners do not it can be very disheartening. I never set out to keep any secrets from my wife and have over a very long and arduous time managed to get her to at least accept most of the quirks i have inside my head and to let me experience them to whatever degree she feels she can cope with into our lives, however using any form of social media to her whether anonymous or otherwise is a complete no go area and this is where we differ. As long as there is no direct contact that might cause any strain to our wonderful marriage i cannot see the harm it is not like looking at porn or such it is for me merely a way of sharing and reading of other folks who for whatever reason in life were born with the same quirks as i was born with. i dont wish to go through life thinking i am the only weird person who fantasizes about bondage and chastity etc etc, i also wish to learn from these people of how they have managed to use their own quirks in their lives as well. for my wife the biggest fear of all is being outed and it is this fear that prevents her accepting the existence of other normal couples who just happen to like doing things to each other in private that is a little out of the normal in some folks eyes. My biggest fear is that one day she may just wander onto this site (especially) and recognise some if not all of my posts as being a little to familiar and then the brown stuff would certainly hit the fan. i mentioned to her about October being called Locktober and she keeps mentioning it and when i told her i had made it up she was searching through the internet for mention of it and there it was listed as an item on " Chastity Mansion" i dont think she looked further into the site just yet. Secrets are wrong they just spiral on and on but sometimes there is no other option.

 

I have many secrets from wife. Not because I would not share. But because she does not want to hear. Both of my Mistresses are much better at knowing about my being, what makes me tick, what scares me.

 

I am working on all of it with my wife and we are coming around to being open to talking about all things but for years it was kinda just not talked about and was more of a bad thing that caused stress in relationship. We have passed that part now and are growing and opening up!

 

My toy has a tendency to say he's being completely honest, then I find it later that's not the case, that because I didn't ask the question just right, he is technically not lying.. . that really messes up the trust factor. Just recently was checking our emails (granted, I can check it anytime, but rarely do) found he had started a mewe account... I was irritated. I felt like it was hidden, he says all I have to do is look.. I shouldn't have to look for things. . Now im trying to accept this new form of tumblr. Have fought a few times over it. He's been more into the kink than chastity for awhile and I am hating this new website.. lying in a relationship kills it.. hoping ours is only injured and not dead

 

Sorry to hear that Madame Bell, he’s just not figuring it out is he :/, did you tell him you “literally” hate the site? I would look at tumblr under the guise that it’s femdom so it’s okay but I know my Miss didn’t really ever approve, now it’s gone and I just don’t look at any porn any more. Don’t let him get away with it.

 

I don't know how to stop it. Im at the point I don't want to have sex, cause I feel like I'm not even who he wants anymore. Im just a place to finish.. can't get into it when I'm feeling like other people is what he's interested in. I miss when it was us.. now it isn't

 

No secrets here...We have been married 30 years, this April. We talk about everything. I had a boring life before I met my Wife, so I have nothing to hide. My Wife had been married for 13 years before we met. She has told me some things about her life before us, but I really don't want to know too much about it anyway. Our life now is pretty simple, so there are no secrets...

 

In my case it is more about being true and faithful to her. YES i tell her everything. Hiding anything does not make for a good marriage or our FLM. Besides she has the key and i hate to think what would happen if she cought me lieing or hiding anything.

 

I dont think its a good idea to have secrets from Mistress cos when the whites in the wash went pink cos I had put some pinky ones in and I hid them
Mistress found them and went mad at me. so I think it best to tell Her now.

 

I did but not anymore.

 

Are you seriously saying that you have never fantasised about anything or anybody while having sex with your partner?

Surely, we have all had fantasies about kink before we actually tried it for real, so if it wasn't for fantasies there wouldn't be any kink. Most of us have these fantasies way before we tell our partners.

As far as I can tell from your posts, your partner hasn't actually cheated on you, but you seem to be treating him as if he has. If he had truly wanted to do something behind your back, he wouldn't have done it in a place where you could find it so easily if you bothered to look. So he's started up a new email account. It seems as if you have access to read the emails that have been sent and received, so I assume that you have done that. Is there anything there that causes you concern?

Have you thought about both of you going for some counselling to get things in perspective?

 

I wish I could.....unfortunately I had an affair with a (lifestyle) dome and if I confessed my acquired tastes (kink, perversions, what have you) she would know where they came from. It would not end well.

 

Let me see...Tell my wife I love ladies pee, Putting my tongue in their ass, Having cock and ball torment, No I don't bring it up, but we are married forever and I'm sure she knows from a million things I said or watched or read or suggested. To outright say these things to her wouldn't change the fact that she simply doesn't understand why on the world I'd like to do those things..."Why would you like to do that?" she would say...Just like I could say How can you eat pigs feet? but I don't say that to her.

 

I do not tell her everything. I don't think she can handle everything. I told her about chastity and she has been veeeeery slow about asking any questions or engaging with that idea, so maybe telling her specific fantasies would be overwhelming. I'd tell her if she asked, but she seems not to want to know.

 

Fantasies are one thing . But when I am being choreographed,, with everything I do cause he saw it somewhere else, it loses its essence... in the beginning we were learning together, he has jumped ahead.. now he wants me to do this sky dive with him because it's what he wants, he doesn't concern himself with how I'd feel.. . aand this is a constant argument.. he knows me and should at least tell me about staying a new mewe account...
but in the beginning i alsothought it was about chastity , less time on porn and more on our life, actual time that's just for me/house/life...and not just where I'm playing with him. I guess im feeling it's all about him as as his desires.. aand being told exactly how.... aand generally im the afterthought(orgasm-wise).. I got into this at the beginning because I wanted it to make us stronger. Get Him to stop jacking off and spending more time on us.. it hasn't been that way for awhile now.. he's consumed aand im annoyed I guess.

 

Way more of his time is spent on kink/porn than it used to be.. when something seems to be all consuming to one and not the other, it's a turn off...

 

I'm not trying to answer the point you made, I'm not capable of answering the problems of others, much less my own. I'm old married 60 years.
But I have a thought regarding time for sex and other things and being consumed.
My case my wife and I are available to each other 24/7 for almost anything but sex. I mean housework gardens building, we don't hire people we do it ourselves, so we have worked on home, raising family, all of that..

.Now in her case she aged out of sex, and because of that She doesn't have a certain number of hours a week she is willing to give me for sex,, 1 or 2 or 3 whatever might seem reasonable when you consider the number of hours a week I am available for the routine BS that is needed in a household.
If you discuss that I and maybe he is consumed with sex and what my wife is consumed with, the things she wants mean little to me beyond the fact she wants them otherwise I don't give a damn about a garden, a new walkway, going to see an 8 year old in a school play, shopping for wall paper and hanging it. BUT I do it...and I don't complain, I act like I kinda enjoy it...now I still don't get the 1 or 2 or 3 hours of sex a week.

One further point, I'm an old man and I cant blame her for not wanting to bother so I go to professionals and piss our money away on ladies who smile all the while I pay them....so all is well that ends well..

 

Has he ever expressed that he doesn't feel like he's getting the attention he needs? He doesn't need his fantasies to be explored, but he does need to be kept motivated.

If you're doing all that you honestly can and it isn't enough, unlock him and give up on chastity. Don't give him any ultimatums or make any demands for change. Neither of those will work. If he can sincerely express why a future lockup would go differently, then maybe give it another try. If that fails again, give it up permanently. If that ends the relationship, then that sucks, but if you want such different things, it isn't going to work anyway.