Do Any Couples Use Short-Term Chastity?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by bringback, Jul 28, 2010.

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  1. bringback
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    bringback New member

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    I've been reading a lot of the posts on here, and the sub-forum where people keep journals made it sound like every couple ends up with the guy being chaste for longer and longer periods of time. How many couples play with chastity but consistently keep things under the week mark? I'm interested in chastity to spice things up with my partner. If I can't masturbate, and my only source of sexual pleasure is my partner, and she sometimes denies me as well, I can easily see myself going crazy over her. That sounds like fun. I know that some people end up locked-away for periods of months, but I'm wondering how many couples have used chastity reliably on the short-term. Chastity sounds fun, but I still want to have sex every week!
     
  2. 2ndtime
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    2ndtime Junior Member

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    We did try short periods of chastity which didn't stop me masturbating in between lockup periods, my masturbating was seen as cheating on her.
    She now has me locked 24/7 only being released for plesauring her and I'm kept hopping for an orgasm one day.
     
  3. jeank
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    jeank Member

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    We're all different and in different relationships.

    The key is to do what works for the two of you and have lots of fun - if you are enjoying it and it is enhancing your relationship then you have got it right.

    IMHO of course!!
     
  4. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I use it on pet as an extended form of foreplay.

    At the moment, that means 2 weeks maximum.

    As jeank says, there is no right or wrong... only what's right for you. :D
     
  5. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    As stated above, the duration should really be whatever you and your partner come to agree on. If you have a quite regular sex life, maybe it just means you're locked in between. Nuthin' wrong with that! :D

    mikecb
     
  6. slave_nemo
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    slave_nemo slave to Mistress Ivey

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    I, too, agree with all the above. I have only been locked up for short periods (because of medical reasons) and it was great. I am hoping for some longer periods in the near future, but even a short lockup can be sexually enhancing. You might want to try being locked up during the week and let out on the weekends. Just a thought.
     
  7. influencee
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    influencee Junior Member

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    Thanks for this interesting thread. I've been very attracted to male-chastity, even started to talk to my gf one year ago (throught it didnt went further) but am also quite scared by it in the meantime.

    I would really like to try short-term chastity, but dont know if such things can work since most of the people in the life style seems to be is quite longer play...
     
  8. Wench
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    Wench Owned by Mistress Freya

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    Mistress and I have been married a long time and started experimenting to spice things up in the bedroom. Submission and enforced chastity is becoming one of our favourite kinks, we use it as a form of prolonged foreplay.

    Mistress typically has me locked up for two to five days, after which I usually get some form of release, and that may of may not be intercourse, entirely up to her. Then I'm locked up again. This continues for an agreed period. We just started using a written signed contract to define the period and expectations (our contract basically says she's in charge for thirty days).

    There is lots of teasing, household tasks and pleasuring of Mistress while I'm locked up. Being under her control is an amazing aphrodisiac.

    In between these periods of submission we have a very equal relationship and in the bedroom I tend to be the dominant partner. We seem to argue more and less housework gets done. ;)

    I've come to realise that masturbation is extremely detrimental to intimacy in a relationship. Regardless of being locked up, or being in an equal rather than submissive phase, I no longer masturbate. I now always seek sexual fulfilment though my Mistress/Wife. As a consequence I feel much more focused on her and our relationship seems closer than ever before.
     
  9. jeank
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    jeank Member

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    I would just repeat what I said above - we're all different and it's about whatever turns the two of you on . If it spices up your life and improves your relationship, then it "works" and you should go for it!!

    Some of the people who post here are certainly into longer play, me and my KH included, but there are also folks posting here who are into lots of things that I'm not. It's a great board for sharing all sorts of different ideas and experiences, but IMHO there is no "right or wrong way", just one's own way.
     
  10. bringback
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    bringback New member

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    This sounds like one of the best features of chastity for me: aside from the kink of being forcefully denied (which has its appeal). I'm really looking forward to getting back into the groove with my partner. I feel that I've let our sexual relationship cool off because I've been "wasting" some of my energy on masturbation. I'm hoping chastity will reprogram me to a certain extent to really appreciate her all over again.

    It's nice to hear there are some couples on here who are successful with shorter-term play. I was worried that everyone eventually ends up locked for months at a time. My partner needs full-on sex more often than that!

    How powerful is the "reprogramming" effect, where the chaste partner "learns" that sexual pleasure only comes from one source and so comes to desire it only from that source?
     
  11. slave_nemo
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    slave_nemo slave to Mistress Ivey

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    The power of the "reprogramming" depends on you and your significant other. A great deal will depend on her. She really needs to learn how to control you and just what turns you on the most. It may not work for you to just tell her, because she may feel that you are still in control. If being in charge really turns her on there are several web sites that can help her learn how to be a "good Mistress" where you are concerned. Right here at the Mansion would be a good place to start! You can both get real information from real people who have been where you are.

    It's a long road and I wish you both the best.
     
  12. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    That depends on the individuals I suppose. We have did have 24 7 lock up with agreed release always out at two weeks but absolutely up to me (so often less). I did a few training sessions with my hub as part of his "reprogramming". I didnt actually think of it in those terms at the time, I just wanted to get the point across that whinging for release would not be tolerated. One training session took the form of repeated forced masturbation on a cold, dirty garage floor enforced with a riding crop but others have been a day of as many orgasms as he wants and "husband priviledges". He is not allowed to handle himself (above and beyond cleaning etc) and always pees sitting down. For my part, submission is what he desires and he takes some responsibility for this so does not "cheat" as the greatest sanction I could impose would be to refuse to accept his submission and remove my control. I do get a bit annoyed with the guys on here who go on about pulling out of their devices and generally cheating on the whole control thing. Why bother trying it in the first place if you are going to do that? I guess it's down to motivation, will power and taking the longer term view versus instant gratfication. I love my hub the way he wants to be loved. If that could be classed as "topping from the bottom" then so be it, we make chastity work for us.



    We are now on an honour system although I do put him in a CB6000 when he is away from me. It works for us most of the time - we too run a contract which says that he will get some form of orgasmic release but he knows the best way is gifted from me so he does his best to please me. It takes time and patience and I feel we travelled a long way to get where we are today. I wouldn't want to lock him up for long periods of time and he doesnt want that either.
     
  13. OKListenUp
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    OKListenUp Between a Rock and a Hard place

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    Being scared of it is great. It's the anxiety. Go for it, Use a random number generator and go somewhere between what you thing should be a minimum and what really scares you. Good Luck, You'll hate/love it.
     
  14. Wench
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    Wench Owned by Mistress Freya

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    That's exactly it. You realise you're wasting energy and focusing on yourself rather than your relationship and your partner. For me it didn't feel like re-programming, just a realisation that my feelings for my partner were becoming more intense, the reason seemed obvious. She's become the centre of my universe again. It's like when we first started dating, that can't get enough white hot intensity.

    When I'm submitting to my Mistress the belt is a constant reminder of my submission and helplessness. It prevents masturbation as she teases and denies me, playing with my mind and working me into a sexual frenzy.

    When we're not going through a submissive period, and if we haven't had sex recently, my Wife will join me in the shower and take me with her hands. We've discussed that I don't want to masturbate and also how my sexual drive is higher than hers, so she removes any temptation. What would have been a hidden self centred act becomes another way to share my body with my lover and bring us closer.
     
  15. bringback
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    bringback New member

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    Both of these quotes capture the appeal of chastity for me: a means to become closer to my partner. Congrats to you both on your success.
     
  16. influencee
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    influencee Junior Member

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    Thanks for these advice, giving me more hope on the possibility of short term periods...

    Althought I'd really like to introduce my gf to chastity and live some intense time, it is indeed more in a purpose of "spicing up the bedroom" as someone has stated, than giving up any sex. However, I'm still aware of the message appearing on the website's baneer : be carefull what you wish for, summing up all my aprehentions - set appart the one to be laught of.
     
  17. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    That's Right, Be Very Careful what YOU ask for!!! At first, we use Chastity just for another form of foreplay. So as the lock would click, the horny meter would start running. All I wanted was to get out and squirt. Now that the Neosteel belt has begone it's magic spell. Now that I have no visual signs of my penis, and have to set like a girl too poddy, all I want is to have sex as a girl. Other that strap-on sex for the wife, I want to be penetrated and milked only. The feminine side of me has came out like nothing I every thought would or could. Life is changing and so is my sex life.

    Back to short term Chastity. I feel that once the K/H, either female or male, realizes the benefits of keeping their partners penis locked, life in the bedroom may never be the same. While would they want to have it any other way. You wanting to do anything they ask, just for the chance of having a penis to play with and hopefully orgasm again.

    What ever works for you two is the right way. Others have different thoughts and idea's of what they are looking for in Chastity. If short term is working for you two, then great. But be careful, she might just begin to like having you locked more than squirting all over and rolling over back to sleep.

    I'm my own K/H. My wife likes the Chastity, and luv's having Tanya around. Plus she's great about giving Tanya her free time and space. We do have some special circumstances in our life. But Chastity has been a special treat, one that I doubt I will ever live without again in my life.

    Hope you find what you looking for with Chastity, I'm sure you will if you give it a chance and communicate your concerns and desires. Missy Tanya
     
  18. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I guess that worry that it will always lead to long or permanent periods of no male orgasms is a concern. I also think the thread that its then followed by cuckolding, financial surrender, being divorced and or whipped and so on.

    I'm actually giving the idea a serious pondering. I know the mouths of a few are agape wondering if the universe is about to explode into M&Ms. I read Sarah's Blog and an interesting article by a Canadian Therapist. The idea being that some basic form of Male Chastity in a marriage might be a good way to improve the way a husband acts with his wife. A little more caring, romance, and in short just being more civil. Mrs Jimi and I have been married a long time. I know a lot of this is that I'm pretty typical in that right after Orgasm I tend to get less interested in her and her needs. She on the other hand feels that she has given me the gift of sex so I should be more attentive, happy etc. Its just 180 degrees wrong and I know it.

    So, I ponder if having my cock locked up, giving her the keys and letting her really control our sex life would rewire my attitude. It sure seems like it does from some of what I read. But part of the problem are the many people posting that I do not get or believe. I'm not particularly submissive I don't have the slightest interest in pain. I don't need this to control masturbation. I strongly prefer my sex to be with my wife and not my hand. I don't have any issue with sitting down to take a leak (I don't associate how I piss with my male "ego") but I'm not at all interested in wearing a maids costume, women's lingerie etc. I'm concerned that once in control she might start to think my being open to this would make me less of a man. And that her being in control would make it much more easy to rationalize taking other men into our bedroom. Yes, I know. This is heavy fantasy stuff (But it really IS just fantasy stuff for us) so I do worry that what I wish for could have many consequences beyond my control.

    I suppose part of this is that one of Sarah's posts said that the reality is that no one is giving up anything unwillingly. There are bolt cutters, lock picks and so on.

     
  19. SubHub72
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    SubHub72 Member

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    We have experimented with male chastity for about a year now. The longest time I've been locked is four full days but she developed a "minimum" time of at least one day. We first started with an expectation that I am locked when she goes out with her friends. This made me feel very submissive since I had to take care of the kids, put them to bed, and then had to wait for her to get home for some playtime (she's never in a rush!). Then we started lockup on Thursday night or Friday morning and she would let me out on Sunday. Being locked at work is too hard for me to handle so I don't think I could do extended lockup periods. I do fantasize about her "pushing the envelope" and testing to see how far I could go being locked.

    For me, the chastity cage is not about preventing masturbation or an affair, but is more about bondage. I love to be restrained, and this is sort of the ultimate restraint when we are playing sexually. I frankly don't enjoy being locked if it is a non-sexual situation but the feeling of not being able to fully get hard is erotic. I do love the teasing she does (being coy with the key is hot beyond belief for me) and the "thrill of the hunt" as far as the unknown as to if she will allow me an orgasm.

    We found that male orgasm denial really enhanced our sex life and brought us closer together. We were being intimate sometimes 5 days a week, and for us once or twice had been the norm. By "being intimate" I mean that she was at a minimum massaged to her satisfaction but usually she had sexual satisfaction and I may or may not. Traditionally, the sex is over when the male ejaculates. Now, sex is "for her pleasure" and is over when she says. It's really quite hot when she is satisfied and she smiles and says "ok, time for bed". She's really quite generous with my orgasms, and removal of the "pressure" of her satisfying me sexually has helped her blossom as a sexual woman. While she has never admitted this, I suspect that she avoided sex in the past because she didn't want to deal with the messiness. While I do orgasm around 1-2 times per week, we have shifted a lot more to handjobs as opposed to penetration. One month, I only came in her once. She will occasionally allow penetration, my cock saturated with her lube and on my way to orgasm (I don't last very long with the teasing and denial) and then she'll say "ok, stop now. I don't want you to come tonight".

    We seem to be shifting away from the use of the chastity device. My wife has decided that she likes to feel my erection against her when she falls asleep, and she really hates to feel the cage. She really got mad at me once time for not getting erect fast enough after she unlocked me. I think she is flattered when I am erect, and really wants me that way all the time, whether or not we are intimate. I asked her when I would be locked and she said "when we're apart" - which isn't very often.

    Our last good session, she surprised me. She had me tied up and she basically said that she had the power to make me hard or make me soft. She secretly brought up some ice and applied it to my cock and balls. She laughed at her control and I endured a few cycles of getting hard, then getting soft. Ah, non-erotic memories of my vasectomy recovery and frozen peas! It was really quite fun! So male chastity - with or without a device - has really added a lot of spice to our sex life.
     
  20. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I think one of the concepts that makes me (more) interested in this is the liberation of female sexuality. I think the typecast of how sex is supposed to work is the man makes all the moves and the women at best "goes along with it" I would love to have a wife who felt free to express herself and it not be just me going through the same route over and over. I'm not even saying I want her to take over the job totally but I would dearly love her being a more active participant. Maybe it all goes terribly bad in the long run. That seems to me to be a chronic story but as some have mentioned that people writing these things may not be honest about their actual experience.

    I guess on scenario is that my wife accepts the control and says "Good we don't need to do sex any more (Or with great reduction)" And worse I would get used to this and end up accepting it. Another concern is that the frequency and the tease become so great that I end up having premature ejaculation which I think happens to some men and then the wife finds conventional intercourse to be unsatisfying.

    I sense that a lot of men find some kind of comfort in being locked. I look at this as maybe being a good tool for some changes and I'm guessing for some folks its a bit of a kink / fetish. Is there a deeper reason? Does anyone ever do this to build the basics for a better "vanilla" marriage / relationship then put the CB away?


     
  21. Spike's Bitch
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    Spike's Bitch Member

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    Mistress Spike keeps me locked up no more then a week. So far usually a ruined orgasm every 3 or 4 days. Though my last real orgasm is a few weeks ago. I cant even remeber when it was.

    It definitely is a mixed bag. I desperately want that orgasm so bad but i HATE how i feel after and have to restart. And i really have to fight my grumpyness for a few days after orgasm.

    So to be honest. I prefer that mistress has great orgasms and I only get ruined ones i think. I sometimes wonder if i am on the extreme side of how muh of a jerk i can be in the days right after orgasm. So if its up to me i prefer to avoid it.
     
  22. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    Hi Jimi. A universe of M & Ms - sounds interesting!

    Naturally, any agreement is so highly subjective that generalising is sometimes a bit pointless but I can absolutely say from my own perspective that I think my hub no less of a man for handing over control to me. As for taking other men into the bedroom, why would I just because I've locked him up ? I love my hub and feel no differently about him now than I did before - in fact, the refocus on me away from a more generalised "just want to get my rocks off" has meant that whilst there may not be as much penetrative sex as before, I would say he gets even more sexual "attention" because tease and denial is actually - to a wicked female mind - rather fun. The commitment required of chastity could be said to be a reaffirmation that the man in our lives really wants us - not just the more generalised sensation of orgasm.

    I think you are spot on when you say that orgasm diminishes the urge to please and when in "frustrated mode" my hub compares it to a low level, almost constant sexual tension for him. Orgasm is going to interfere with this and it is a balance that is specific couple to couple. The gain from denying my husband seems to switch over into moodiness at about the two week mark so that's as far as we go and the cycle then repeats itself. It is trial and error and you are absolutely right to be cynical about some of the "real life" stories out there. As I said to another poster - read widely and filter intelligently. I read Sarah's blog too and the way her and her husband operate wouldn't work for us. I also think that they've only just started to use a permanent device and things are going to evolve differently now for them as a result - regardless of what she says. I also find her agressively intolerant of any other form of chastity other than her own. That's all well and dandy over on her own site but I was rather appalled when she brought the fight over here recently but that's another story.....



    I think moving forward and using a device does change the dynamic and it's a necessary stage. Yes, you can take it off, yes, you can stop at any time but perhaps it's use is rather more symbolic and makes the commitment to chastity a little bit more real when you can't actually feel your own penis, let alone handle it. Something gets rewired in that male brain that may or may not be a permanent change (we'll wait and see, I've just put hub back into his CB6000 for a little while but most of the time, he isn't locked away.)

    I would say - try it. Don't get too influenced by all the bollocks out there about how previously loving and faithful wives are going to suddenly drag home random studs the minute their hub is locked away like demented pole cats. You know your wife better than anyone and you strike me as a thoughtful and communicative chap so sit down and discuss it, set the expectations and keep communicating.

    Ofcourse, I just want the M & M s :)


    BTW - if you have a link / more detail to the Canadian study, I'd be interested to read it.
     
  23. lockednloaded
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    lockednloaded Senior Member

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    Firstly, I must apologise as I have been MIA for a while (too many reasons to go into/bore you with here!).

    Anyway, this will sound strange, but we use long term and short term in that I now wear my CB 24/7 and only get released when my Wife wants my cock in her.

    Now, the short term part of this is fairly regular as we are trying for a baby (still), but the periods vary from a few days to a few weeks, but the longer term part is that regardless, I wear it 24/7, so no wanking for me at all.

    I'm not sure how that fits in with the original question to be honest, but I thought I'd post anyway!
     
  24. slave_nemo
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    slave_nemo slave to Mistress Ivey

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    "I guess on scenario is that my wife accepts the control and says "Good we don't need to do sex any more (Or with great reduction)" And worse I would get used to this and end up accepting it. Another concern is that the frequency and the tease become so great that I end up having premature ejaculation which I think happens to some men and then the wife finds conventional intercourse to be unsatisfying. "

    I understand the fear, but as for premature ejaculation... I thought the same thing, but there are many ways to prevent that. As for me, Mistress teased me for about an hour one time and then she mounted me. She was so "hot" by that time that I was not able to get enough friction to cum. She loved it.

    You can also have a ruined orgasm or be milked prior to conventional sex and you will last MUCH longer! Ruined orgasm and milking both leave you still excited (unlike a full orgasm) and you will last because it takes much more to cum (if you can at all).
     
  25. JackStrap
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    Almost "me too".

    I do wear PA5000 constantly, except for the night if we had sex in the evening. In the morning I put the device back on ", so no wanking for me at all""

    We are not (yet) trying to get a baby, but hopefully soon, when some human relation issues cool down. My beloved keyholder wants me inside her almost every day (night), and that's just wonderful from my viewpoint.

    So: I'm locked up unless my KH wants me inside her, which happens often, but not every day. This is good.

    Funny thing, however, is that I can't always get inside PA5000 in the morning, so I have to put on CB3000 or TheCurve. Later in the day I fit in. I definately like PA5000 more, as I do not even feel it on me. Other devices remind of themselves all the time, keeping me semistiff and dripping :)
     
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