Discipline, Altered Behavior, and Underlying Motivation

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by sixofthebest, Mar 7, 2019.

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  1. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Long term member

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    Get some popcorn (air popped, no butter, light sea salt. Take note, Miss Rommely!)

    As described in other posts, P and I are fairly new at chastity and the concept of FLR. Domestic Discipline is an equally new component of our marriage. Currently, there is a posted list of infractions for which I can (will) be disciplined at home, and P is absolutely free to discipline me for any infraction whether it is on the list or not. In addition, I see a professional disciplinarian. She provides the means to atone for sins that are larger than and outside the realm of P's and my FLR. To date, this has mostly included work on harm I brought to others due to selfish behavior exhibited decades ago. She is also a firm believer in and practitioner of healthy eating and taking care of one's body. She gives me the business (verbally) and tears me up (physically) for among other things drinking soda. So, this is the background for the rest of this post.

    Between P and my disciplinarian, there have been several issues for which I have been called to account on a fairly regular basis. Simple things, and not super transgressive things. Leaving the toilet seat up. Peeing standing up (forbidden by P whether or not I am locked). Unhealthy eating. Foul language. Failure to comply or perform. Back talking. Topping from the bottom. Masturbating. You know, things an undisciplined male does as a regular part of his life. If you've looked at my gallery, you can see vivid evidence of the discipline I have received as a result of this behavior. Please trust that there was genuine and at times practically unbearable pain involved in getting things to those states.

    Well, I've been noticing something lately. The toilet seat is down, I pee sitting down, my diet has changed radically, foul language is a rarity (and I still self-report when it does happen out of earshot of P or my disciplinarian), I do as I am told and I strive to do my best, and I keep my mouth shut - trusting that what P or my disciplinarian prescribe or proscribe is the right thing at the right time. I am locked, so masturbation is impossible and my energy is focused elsewhere. In fact, as described by both P and my disciplinarian, I am a different man and well on my way to where they want me to be.

    So, here's the thing. Initially, I would comply with rules and behave because I did not want to experience the very difficult discipline these two women administer. They know how to make it hurt, and they do not hesitate. The physical reminder of their intensity and their exceptions for my behavior stays with me for days and sometimes weeks. Lately, I find myself doing and behaving as I am expected not out of fear of punishment, but out of desire to please. For example, for some time now every time I have thought about having a Coke, I have thought of the promise I made (admittedly under extreme duress) to my disciplinarian and I reach for a bottle of water instead. When I sit to pee, I think of P and that by doing this the seat won't be up for her to have to deal with it. When I get a thought to start directing things or to back talk, I STOP. Not so much because of the physical penalty, but because both of these women have taken me under their care and deserve my compliance in return. In sum, I am behaving as I do to please and respect more than out of fear of discipline. In P's case, it is out of the deepest love I have ever felt for anyone. Behavior calling for discipline has markedly declined and behavior that celebrates the existence of these women in my life has come to the fore in a very big way.

    Now the questions. For those of you whose behavior is guided by domestic or other discipline, have you noticed this shift in motivation for behaving and performing well? What has it meant to you? To those administering discipline, have you been aware of these shifts if/when they have occurred? Have you appreciated or enjoyed this? What has been your reaction? Everyone, what do you make of this? P and I are new at this and this is a revelation. We really didn't know this was coming.

    Jamie
     
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  2. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    I view the change you are going through as the entire point of domestic discipline, and to me it shows that it is working. Eventually, P will find, with a few occasional exceptions, that she needs only scheduled periodic maintenance to sustain the reminder of your growth.
     
  3. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Long term member

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    Rectrix,

    Thank you for your terrific reply. This is all quite the experience. There is now permission to be a submissive man that I have longed for all of my life. P provides this permission and accepts and nurtures this submission unconditionally. She has become not only my "Schoolyard Bully," but something of an "evil angel" who holds me, with great love, to a razor-thin straight and narrow that she has created in the image of exactly who and what she wants me to be - a strong submissive man with character. I now live to be that man. The discipline hurts, and I accept it with a glad heart. How interesting to think of scheduled maintenance warranted by continued good behavior. That sounds wonderful!

    Jamie
     
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  4. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    I grabbed my popcorn with butter. My Mistress isn’t as strict on weight issues.

    I completely hear and understand what your saying after serving our Mistress’s forawhile it becomes part of who we are. We just do it because we want to not because we’ll be punished if we don’t. I can remember the last time I stood to pee. And leaving the seat up isn’t even a possibility we’ve even gone farther that I never leave the lid open.

    The idea of continued maintenance spankings for good behaviour and a reminder of my place is a good idea. My Lovely Wife has been spanking me long before we started Chastity and now that I’m locked having a reddened bum seems to just go along with being Locked it’s like part of my uniform. I don’t ever want to give up either of them
     
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  5. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Long term member

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    Though relatively new at all of this, I agree! It would be sad to have to go without either. Good behavior, I think, will help to ensure longevity of both.
     
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  6. Mandylove62
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    Dear Jamie, I would simply say you are responding well to the training like any sub/slave should! Nothing wrong here!
    As much as I crave to behave exactly the way Mistress wants, and be a "perfect" slave, I would NEVER want to give up at least a weekly discipline session! I crave it because it is a great way to keep me in my place and stay in sync with Mistress! Plus, She is a sadist, and I would NEVER deny Her pleasure!
     
  7. dearelliot
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    dearelliot Active member

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    Well all of that said and yes, I think it is correct, But_ perhaps strangely enough, I like to be punished by a woman. It is for me sexually exciting. So I am on occasion disobedient! When I see her standing in front of me, her face close to mine, reminding me of her intent, the riding crop in her hand, and her expression of superiority, I can feel the pleasure in my groins mounting, knowing what she will do to me. I wouldn't want to sacrifice that. It is for me the essence of her dominance.
     
  8. sixofthebest
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    sixofthebest Long term member

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    MandyLove62, Thank you for the affirmation. This is all so heady - some of the best times of my life together with P. She is becoming more expert every day and that she is enjoying the changing dynamic is apparent. Not to mention that she tells me so. She is one of the few people I know for whom truth is unconditionally given as well as expected.

    Jamie
     
  9. Miss Veronica
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    A lot of people don't seem to understand the dynamic my puppy and I have. It's been hard to explain, I haven't worked out a way to do it, until I read your thread:

    Even though I consider Pup and I at the beginning of our journey, we haven't started at the beginning, (as what you describe in your top post as the start of D/s and training). It seems Pup and I jumped, skipping ahead the first two years automatically. A lot of the things that you describe as being trained out of, such as leaving the toilet seat up, I haven't had to address with Pup. In fact, I've never seen the toilet seat left up at his house at all. (Though, he has a P.A so... Haha, the toilet seat is always down.) But, Pup has already self-trained himself out of many of the usual offences - talking back, swearing, being messy, ungrateful, unhealthy, disobedient... - that I don't need to. He has also trained himself in other areas - his dedication to his 'craft' is one of the things that attracts me to him. This is a lesson to all men who want to be a sub but don't have a Domme yet: don't wait for a Domme to train you, start training yourself to be the sub your kind of Domme would want. Remember, some Dommes prefer the mansion over a fixer-upper. ;)

    I guess on the downside, Pup isn't conditioned to think of me during tasks like putting down the toilet seat... but I'm not sure I would want him to do that...haha! (I've never quite understood why some Dommes want their subs to think of them all the time - I've been with men who only think of me and it becomes like a Pepe le Pew situation. Run!) However, I do prefer intellectual submission over physical submission. Having less physical acts to perform means the brain energy he'd use for such physical submission can be funnelled into more intellectual submission, which I find to be the erotic side of domination.

    You're on your way!! And once you are trained in all the physical stuff of submission, you'll have more time for all the intellectual stuff... and then the fun really begins! :D
     
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