Difficult situations/everyday life

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by sissyslavejamie, Nov 17, 2008.

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  1. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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    i have had some real issues that have been very difficult for me. i am my Mistress's sissy cuckold slave and W/we live in a Femdom led poly family.

    i have experienced great frustration when attempting to communicate issues such as not being able to find tools and other items in locations where they are supposed to be stored. Finding said items sometimes out in the yard where they are rusting and being ruined etc. Recently finding that certain safety features on O/our table saw such as guides are missing. When i've tried to bring them to Mistress's attention She has told me that i am no better than any one else or its not my place to tell another adult that they removed safety features from the saw etc.

    i have strong feelings that if there is a potential for injury that it should be corrected.

    i also have strong feelings that if people are careless with expensive tools by leaving them out in the weather that it should be corrected.

    i have felt that i haven't been arrogant in these things. Its just that bringing up matters such as this has resulted in heated arguments which i know is such out of place for a sissy girl and a Mistress.

    It is hard for me to let go of a matter when i feel so strongly about them.

    Please any advice?

    curtsy

    sissy girl
     
  2. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    Hi jamie,
    I would think that even though you are your Mistresses sissy and a cuckold that respect still has to be held.
    Expensive tools and such are a household item and should be kept nice. However...if you have mentioned this and met with negative attitude then I would suggest to you that as the households sissy you must pay attention to detail and fix these matters and pick up the things left laying around. I dont know your circumstances but to save an argument, just do it yourself and then you will know things have been put away and are safe.
    Mistress Michelle
     
  3. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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    Thank You Mistress Michelle,

    im finding out that Mistress really does not want issues brought to Her. Her girlfriend sub She used to live with and i talked after Mistress left the house after the continuing argument. i have always thought that the authority of the house/workplace etc was the one to take issues to that involved more than one or more people.
    The problem(s) i was addressing was involving other submissives. i'm the only sissy here.
    i feel W/we have a larger problem than i've stated.
    Thank You for Your feedback Mistress Michelle

    curtsy
    sissy girl
     
  4. newsub4a
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    newsub4a Senior Member

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    Assuming you are a submissive, rather than a slave, i will go on to add my two cents on the issues (for those unfamiliar with BDSM, a slave has no rights or privileges outside it's contract)...

    i agree that you have a larger problem, it is called communication. If your Mistress is unwilling to listen and talk with you, you are walking down a doomed road. Communication is so very important in any relationship and even more so in a femdom cuckold one where the potential for crushed egos and destroyed self worth is so very real. (i too am in a cuckold femdom lifestyle, so i am not blowing smoke)

    Now as to the tools issue... are they your tools or what? If they are yours and someone else is mis-using them, then you have every right to not only say something, but to INSIST that they be treated properly. (i am a woodworker and home improvement buff and my tools are MY tools)

    If the tools belong to someone else then you are overstepping your authority. Once you have expressed your concern about the safety issue and abuse of tools, then there is nothing more to do if your advice is unheeded. After all, they are not your tools.
     
  5. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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    Actually i don't know what i am anymore. i was considering myself a sissy slave for Her but today She told me that a submissive wouldn't argue with Mistress.

    i agree. The big problem here is communication. There never is the right time to bring up issues and its especially pointed out when She comes home from work and ready to nap. Part of what happened yesterday was i was trying to find out how She wanted me to approach Her with problems and issues and She just didn't want to discuss it.

    i am married to Her. Some of the tools i purchased before i met Her and some since. i felt that it was important to try to increase care for possessions such as them but what i got back was that im no better than any one else. She sees all these things as property of the family collectively.

    Thank you for your feedback
     
  6. newsub4a
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    newsub4a Senior Member

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    Sounds like you are going to have to set up a time when the two of you can talk as husband and wife. Goddess and i have a set time when we can speak freely without fear of repercussions on either parties part. Many lifestyle couples do this since communication is so important.

    So who is leaving the tools out in the yard? Her, the kids, Her lovers? She might see them as "community" property and this might be true if you are not the "tool guy" of the house. Goddess just comes to accept that all the tools in the house are mine and my responsibility simply because that has always been and always will be my role in the marriage.

    As far as whether you are a slave or not, you are only a slave if you have entered a contract to that effect, otherwise you would be classed as a submissive. Each D/s relationship is different, but it is very common that submissives have a right to say how they would like things to be in the relationship, but they do NOT get to set demands. Talking back is bad, but expressing your opinion is not. After all, what femdom wants a doormat for a submissive?

    At this point, i suppose my best advice to you is too brooch the subject of communication and ask Her to set aside a time when the two of you can talk about your relationship. Do not nag Her about it, simply mention it to Her when She is not busy or tired and let Her set aside the time.

    Be sure that before you do this you have a WRITTEN list of issues (in order of priority) you want to discuss and resolve. My advice is that the first item on that list is that She should set a time every day when the two of you can discusse issues as equals that might hurt the relationship.

    Good luck!
     
  7. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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    Thank you

    ive been in the role of the housewife where i take care of the house. i thought that included caring for the things we have bought. Things that have been left out has been by her 10 year old and her male sub that shares the house and maybe Herself.

    ive tried to ask to set a time to talk about things like that but that was during the time of arguments so She didnt want to talk anymore.

    its just a bad time for me. i cant seem to say anything right

    Thank you again
     
  8. newsub4a
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    newsub4a Senior Member

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    Well, a difficult time to be sure.

    Good luck and i hope things work out for you.
     
  9. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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  10. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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    Relief

    This morning Domina came home from work for Her lunch break and told me that W/we were going to talk at 1:30pm when She gets off work. All morning i thought about it of course and took Titus O/our Westie out to the Parkville river park for a looong walk (4 miles). i really did pray that there would be a positive outcome to all of this drama really.

    Domina came home and W/we talked about it all. The conflict is that when i bring up a problem She believes i want the answer immediately. Domina prefers taking a problem and thinking it through before giving Her answer on many things. Also the level of importance of a given problem may be a different level in Her eyes than mine.

    i agreed that i will work on being more sensitive to Her needs/feelings in these matters.

    W/we talked about the lifestyle too. i feel positive that things are improving.

    sissy girl
     
  11. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I'm glad things have improved for you.

    Communication is completely the key here. Given your situation I think many would assume that your Mistress is a confident and experienced Domina, and therefore assume that she would know how to deal with the situation.

    It is a bit of a minefield! As an inexperience Domme I do realise at times that I expect pet to mind-read and need to take a step back and EXPLAIN how I want things done.

    If pet needs clarification on an issue, I do not see that as a problem. I would much rather he came and asked for guidance than screw it up and then have to deal with it (or I have to deal with it!). Having said that, I would not expect to constantly repeat instructions on a daily basis.

    I also like to have time to consider my answers, but do not always have the patience to explain that to pet.

    I guess sometimes you just have to have a little faith in your Mistress.

    Good luck. :animal0008:
     
  12. newsub4a
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    newsub4a Senior Member

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    Just wondering how things are going since your talk?

    Hope all is well!
     
  13. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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    Thank You Mistress Watchful for Your comments. You make a lot of sense. i think communications and when all parties involved wants to communicate is key.
    curtsy
    sissy girl
     
  14. sissyslavejamie
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    sissyslavejamie sissy slave jamie

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    Thank you newsub. For the most part things have improved a lot. One thing Mistress does not want to do is to keep talking about this matter. She just wants things to "be" and not to keep trying to analyze things.

    i want to stay positive and concentrate on taking care of Mistress like She loves to be taken care of.

    sissy girl
     
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