Denial without tease

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mux, Sep 14, 2011.

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  1. Mux
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    Mux MuxIsLocked

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    Locked up and denied. Fine!

    No teasing? Not so fine?

    There's so much talk about teasing and edging in order to keep the locked guy in an aroused state which is supposed to enhance his eagerness to please, serve and submit to his KH. But what about the guys that are just locked up?

    Just the fact of being denied is truly a turn on but there's still this craving for something, anything. A typical case of "be careful what you wish for" I suppose.

    What do you think about chastity without teasing?
    What are your experiences (no teasing/not being teased)?

    Thanks!
     
  2. starflyer
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    starflyer Junior Member

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    IMO, Chastity without teasing, just means they cant be bothered and aren't really interested, wifey went through a period like this. we all know that chastity, teasing, denial should all go hand in hand.
     
  3. chastitylocked
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    chastitylocked Junior Member

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    My wife doesn't have a great deal of interest in my chastity experience either, and a lot of times it becomes brutally clear to me that I'm locked up for me, not her. Once in a while though (a couple times a week) she won't necessarily "tease" me, but at least make some comment about my being locked up. Or she'll walk past me and grab the CB. And even if I'm not being driven to the brink of insanity by teasing, it's at least some attention, and that's sufficient to keep me going.
     
  4. SissyCocu
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    SissyCocu The Strongest Sissy

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    I disagree...Just because your wife isn't teasing doesn't mean she's not interested. It could be a reaction to the expectation of teasing...as in, if teasing is what you want, but the point is denial, which is Not giving what you want, then it is perfectly logical and fair to exclude teasing from play. But if it really is an issue, discuss this with your wife, and maybe perhaps she can tweak the chastity to keep both members involved happy. I would start by trying to pitch teasing as the reward itself.
     
  5. SoonToBe
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    SoonToBe Member

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    Personally I wouldn't be okay with this ideology. It would just be really boring and I wouldn't want to be in chastity anymore. Or I'd want to find a new keyholder who would actually be willing to "play". I understand that some people disagree with what I'm saying and may even think the way I feel about this goes against their notions of what chastity in a relationship is "supposed to be" (hint: it's supposed to be whatever you want it to be, use your imagination), and that's fine with me. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. This is mine. No teasing is a deal breaker. Chastity just for chastity, and nothing else, is grounds for a long talk with my KH about the way things are going with the entire process.
     
  6. quovismodo
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    quovismodo Junior Member

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    To each his (her) own, but we will frequently go for periods of time of denial without tease... And I'm perfectly fine with that. Sometimes she's onto a lot of teasing, but other times she has different priorities, such as just getting her needs met.

    If I demand teasing, I've just defeated the gift she asked me to give her - her complete control and choice over my erections and orgasms. I just accept the long periods as what they are: time to focus on her needs. When she's ready she'll start teasing and sometimes she'll unlock me and let me cum.

    Isn't that the point? (well, it is if you're in a FLR)
     
  7. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    You say you go for long periods without teasing . I think you are missing Mux's point ,He seems to me to be talking about just being locked and left to get on with as being the normal routine . Not just left for periods without teasing , edging or indeed anything else
     
  8. Mux
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    Mux MuxIsLocked

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    Thanks for your comments. I really appreciate.

    Exactly! Unfortunately up to now my Wife is not up to teasing. Maybe she'll decide for herself what to do.

    Right too! If being locked up is a routine it's no fun. FLR or not.

    Being in some sort of FLR you're between a rock and hard place. You'll just have to grin and bear it. Want it but can't ask. But there's nothing to stop talking carefully about it. So I'll see how it evolves and excercise some more patience.


    For one thing, it's the daily routine that interferes. Long stressfull working days, kids, family etc. leave very little time.
    My bone-tired KH very much likes being serviced to get rid of the day's stress. After that she'd rather turn her back and sleep.
    Doesn't that sound familiar? After having had their O, that's what men usual do, no? Talk about role reversal.


    It's not that my KH is not interested or cannot be bothered. She is very much into the chastity aspect but not in the teasing part. She has made quite clear that sexual pleasure is only for her. That's fine but I suppose a decent tease would be pleasure for Her too - even if it would mean some (little?) sexual pleasure for me.


    It's tricky.
     
  9. quovismodo
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    quovismodo Junior Member

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    Exactly. It's tricky.

    It's not that she's not always "into" it- oh, but she is. But being locked all the time (except for the all important cleaning that makes it possible - and that's an annoyance to her she's working on eliminating) is expected to be THE routine.

    She knows that it keeps me constantly horny, and she wants that. She knows that I drip at the thought of her. She gets almost daily Os from me - and then she does exactly that role reversal: "thank you honey. Let's get some sleep" and rolls over.

    But it's a very tricky game that's taken us going on 3 years to perfect the balance. Not infrequently she'll keep me waiting for months - which is both exquisite yet difficult.

    Yet, the routine - kids, jobs, chores, travel - all while locked is what she expects.

    And I'm ok with that. (well, usually... It can be difficult sometimes)
     
  10. jnuts
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    jnuts Member

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    Denial without teasing sucks. Teasing doesn't have to be physical. It can be verbal or written. In order for my head to stay in the game, I need to know my partner's head is there as well.

    We had problems with this when she was on the pill. Her sex drive was gone and it didn't lend itself well to our little game. Now that she is off the pill, things are hotter than ever!
     
  11. Keuschling
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    Keuschling Active member

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    Hi together,

    i think jnuts made a very important point here, and i want to try to elaborate some more about it.

    What exactly is tease when you are locked away?

    As jnuts already stated, it does not have to be physical at all. Just to the opposite, i think that mental tease can be even much more intense. And there are very little things that can turn one on who is locked for some time. Just mentioning the locked status, or pretending to want sex now but the partner is unfortunately locked, or stuff like that. It needs very little effort, but keeps the locked male horny and going.

    Of course, there needs to be an individual solution for both involved, really working for both. Just ignoring, though maybe working in single cases, will not work for most. In a relationship, it is all about attention for each other, especially sexual attention. And i basically do not see the point to not being allowed to address issues within this field, to search for such solution, if no mile-long wishlists are just pressed on the significant other, which only in the latter case really would mean topping from the bottom in my humble opinion.

    Chaste regards,
    Keuschling
     
  12. chastity4slave
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    chastity4slave Junior Member

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    i have much experience with this. with my KH not touching or teasing is used as a punishment or as a motivational tool. i have at times gone more than a month without any human touch on my genitals. during these times, the only thing i feel is the steel of my tube, and once a week, a brush and a towel. my KH allows me a shower without my tube, hands bound behind my back (for the last 5+ years, my tube has NEVER been taken off without my hands being bound first),. She squirts some shower gel on my crotch, scrubs it with a shower brush (very painful), i then get a quick towel dry, then i have to wait for my dick to go limp enough to get back into the tube.
    i will say this, after about two weeks, all thoughts of orgasm go out the window. all i want is a human hand to wrap around my dick and stroke, even if only a couple of times. it puts me into a whole new level of submissiveness. i would do ANYTHING for a couple of strokes.
     
  13. Mux
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    Mux MuxIsLocked

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    As Keuschling correctly states "It needs very little effort", if the teasing is of the mind-fuck kind. IMO some kind of attention, of whatever nature, is very much desirable (even required).

    Unfortunately the KH may simply not even think about it and takes hubby being locked up a little too much for granted. Whatever the kind of relationship, that sucks.

    In this respect, for us, it's (almost?) always me who brings up the subject: "you like me being locked up like this, don't you?" That will trigger some verbal reaction: "Yeah, very much" and that's about it. I'd need to ask and prod some more to get some more feedback and that's not something I like to do, or should be doing, so I don't.

    This is quite unsatisfactory as it feels more like a 'self-mind-fuck' rather than being mind-fucked.

    Like this, the whole chastity experience looses much of its sense.

    It's a question of needs and wants. Needs are met, wants are fulfilled on the sole KH's whim. In a way we've got to accept that but that isn't easy at all.
    How much does the chastised one has to put up with? I suppose, if you're a sub or slave, you'd have to accept (almost) everything and suffer in silence. If you're into chastity you accept that you've given up control in return for something else.

    But how would acceptance be possible if the number one motivator for submission, acceptance is absent or negligible?

    In this respect @chastity4slave: hat off man!

    I can relate to this. Me too, I'd do anything to get a little something... Oh, wait! I do anything to get a little something.

    Sigh...
     
  14. kinkywife
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    kinkywife Member

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    Really enjoying teasing hubby while he's locked up. It's even fun to tease him about the teasing, keeping on promising to tease him later ;)
     
  15. jnuts
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    jnuts Member

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    That is the best part!
     
  16. latex_catsuit_doll
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    latex_catsuit_doll Active member

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    Well, I believe that every intensity has it's place in chastity and if all are properly used, then a very comfortable long-term chastity can be achieved. One cannot function properly in it's daily activities if he is configured into a constant state of arousal.

    In a long-term 24/7 scenario, sleeping and working while locked into a full waistband steel chastity belt must obviously be non-teasing.

    Outside of that, some teasing can be desirable, such as adding a dildo to the belt's crotch plate and go shopping! Then, for some chastity play, crank up the teasing by also adding a urethral plug into the belt's steel tube.

    And for kinky fetish parties, this time, in addition of the penis plug inside the tube, the belt's crotch plate holds an Aneros Progasm prostate plug, fully covered and ball-gag hooded in a full body latex catsuit with a heavy steel chainmail skirt, overwhelmingly being pulled, hugged, knocked and teased hard-core throughout the party till total exhaustion!

    All are possible!
     
  17. Keuschling
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    Keuschling Active member

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    Hi together,

    latex_catsuit_doll, i most disagree with your statement that especially in a long-term 24/7 scenario as described by you, it must be obviously non-teasing. Quite to the opposite for me. Teasing is essential, to keep the motivation high to really achive long-term. Although, as said, this absolutely need not to be physical. And it is even not practical to be physical in such long-term scenario. In my humble opinion, the mind-fuck is essential though, to keep the chaste male going.

    Chaste regards,
    Keuschling
     
  18. Vithryld
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    Vithryld Slave

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    Mistress and I have talked about tease and denial at great length. She has a multitude of methods to choose from but it seems like she has to be in the mood to engage in a "hands on session." Of course I crave the torments she can put me through and desire them all the more so while locked in chastity. Though I know the pleasure she inflicts will only make the ache of denial all the more intense, I eventually desire it more than the eventual release.

    The mental teasing a few here have mentioned are especially interesting, but would require that Mistress wish to expend the effort. I know that encouragement will only result in annoying her; she punishes such transgressions of behavior by simply keeping me locked up without T&D or CBT. She has given me permission to torment myself while locked away. She enjoys the thought of me straining against the confines of my cage while looking pornography or reading (or writing as per her instructions) erotica. I suspect that she has realized that she can only tease me so much, I can stoke the fires of my encased arousal the entire time I am awake.
     
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