Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

I think this is where we differ. I really love it when he's needy - it makes me feel wanted. I like it when he begs! Sal

 

Ok, thanks for the suggestions! He's still out but I caved in and had the following text exchange:
"I see you left out a toy."
"I thought you might be missing feeling filled"
"Oh. I wasn't sure whether it was for me to use on me, you to use on me, or me to use on you"
"Either of first two. I'm open to being pegged but not *that* open!"

At first I thought that's all pretty straightforward, but now I've been (over) thinking again about whether there's a size thing going on. I'm glad he's thinking about my needs though!

Sal

 

This message was on one of the Caption threads on this site. I thought I should post my thoughts here as well, as it's all part of the journey. Excuse the cross-posting.

I've been thinking about this question some more and realising how much my attitude to chastity has changed over the last year. I used to be that vanilla wife! We were introduced to chastity via a chance playful decision in an adult store. After some months of very occasional, very vanilla play, I came across this site and a lot of the imagery and discussion felt very offputting indeed. It seemed sad, and extreme, and the descriptions of long-term locking were quite upsetting to me. But... I completely lucked out. My few tentative questions were answered patiently by people with sensitivity and good humour. They gave wonderful advice and somehow put the extreme stuff in context so I didn't worry about it. The whole thing became more playful, more fun and more joyful for us both than I could have imagined. A lot of the things on this site are still not for us, but I don't have the same negative reaction that I used to. More curiosity than anything.

And that's where I've found the captions really interesting. Browsing through them has been a quick way for me to get some extra insights into this world. Now, back to your question.

The thing that would have been the biggest draw for me a year ago (and is still right up there in the top few things for me), would have been if someone had pointed out that simply by the use of a little device and a key, I could become the focus of his fantasies. Instead of playing with himself goodness knows when and thinking about whomever, by popping him in a cage, even for a little while, he would spend much more of his time being excited by me. I think someone on this site did point this out but it didn't really sink in straight away.

Another part of this was that was exciting for me was understanding that I could give him pleasure simply by taking away his need to make the decisions. He's got a stressful job and other stuff going on in his life which means that ceding control to me, even just for a bit, is a relief for him. Taking that stress away has made us both more thoughtful lovers.

So the kind of captions that might have worked for me would have been things like,
"Imagine him wearing a little device that causes all his fantasies to be focused on you", or
"All I have to do is pop this onto him. While he's wearing it, all his fantasies are focused on me", or
"My man finally admitted the stress of having to take the lead all the time. Now he doesn't have to", or
"This tiny key is surprisingly powerful. It turns his fantasies towards me and puts me in charge for a bit"
"It's not about the lock. This tiny key has brought fun and intimacy, and I love that his fantasies are now directed at me".

Or if you need something more explicit (for further down the line):
"It's not just his orgasms. This little key gives me control of his erections too. Whether it's just for a few hours, or for a week or more at a time, that part of him has become 'ours', not just 'his'. We both love that.

Ok, ok, I'm not a caption writer, but you get the idea.

As for the picture, if it were aimed at me, then please, no women without clothes on, or pouting like a porn queen! Nor in super-high heels and masses of make-up. I'd suggest a woman aged at least 35, in ordinary, informal work clothes. ie Someone I could identify with! They need to look happy and reasonably confident, that's all.

Sorry to go on - I use this site to get my own thoughts straight.

Sal.

 

This. This seems so important to me and even though I have talked to him about this over the past months and thought I understood, I think I'm only really believing it and properly understanding it now. Sal

 

The thing I'm still unsure about is the degree to which he wants to submit, and how much of the time. And of course I'm not exactly sure what I want either. But it'll be fun finding out. Sal

 

Wise words, thank you. Although on your final point I actually quite like that he does the odd bad thing where I can decide whether to overlook it, or whether or not to take any action, and if so, what. I feel that if he asked me directly, it forces more of a yes/no answer and has me doing his bidding. Oh dear... overthinking again! Sal.

 

That sounds like really sound advice. And you just prompted me to look at some of my first posts here about 6 months ago. Quite a change. Thank you. Sal

 

Well, it's only been a few days since we put him back in his cage after our enforced break and we're both already noticing and enjoying the effects. After he's been caged, even for a short while, I think he really does look at me a bit differently - a bit more like when we first met, a bit more conscious of my body, the way I walk and dress. It's not extreme, or pervy, or all the time, but just a frequent heightened sense that he wants me. It makes me feel attractive and desirable.

I still find some of the more extreme/explicit captions on this site a bit offputting for my taste (I'm not criticising!) but there are some common themes that completely match my experience. This idea of becoming the focus of more of his sexual attention is definitely one that the caption folks have got right.

I'm sure he has other fantasies (don't we all?!) but I get a real sense that his sex drive is more focused on me. Of course, it's not so simple - I guess the fact that I'm noticing or expecting this subtle change in him probably affects the way I act, so there's some sort of feedback thing going on. But whatever the mechanism, it's warm, and nice, and exciting. And that makes me want to lead him on, and tease him and deny him even more. I usually take off my shoes indoors but yesterday I decided to clop around in heels while I was cooking. They're not especially high - I'm afraid I can't be doing with those - but he certainly got the signal and I enjoyed being, well, fancied and mentally unndressed, I suppose.

He could tell I was getting excited by him watching me and he pointed out that I'd said that the first time back in his cage after the break would be just for a couple of days. I said that we'd been unlocking him to shower and shave him and that everything seemed to be working, with no chafing. I also reminded him that his measurements had been fine - no change there. He agreed but said he was already feeling very frustrated. I stood really close to him and looked him in the eyes and asked him if he wanted me to unlock him. He just said, "Please". I put my hand on his cage (he was wearing trousers!) and tugged it a little and told him that he's nowhere near ready. And still following Laura's advice, (she's so specific!), I took the key rather obviously between my fingers (it's on my necklace) and held his gaze until he finally looked away. It was such a powerful moment. Absolutely electric and erotic. I could tell he was simultaneously disappointed but also excited but I felt super-aroused and knew I was blushing madly. He spotted that of course, and asked whether I wasn't feeling frustrated? I admitted that I was, and was about to put my hand out to tap his head as the usual signal when he interrupted and asked me whether at times like this, I didn't miss feeling properly filled. He'd read my mind (and my body, I guess) and I was a whisker away from caving in completely when he asked me if I'd used the toy he'd left out for me the other day. I said that I hadn't (I've never really got on with dildos, especially if it's just me using one on my own) and he just said "What about now?"

He went off to the bathroom to stick the thing in a sink of hot water (thoughtful!) and reappeared wearing only his cage. In our pre-cage times, this would be the moment when he would be standing to attention and ready to perform, in control of the situation, and of me. As it was, seeing him standing there all locked away and holding the dildo in his hand was incredibly moving, and exciting and very, very strange. We looked at each other for a moment, him standing there and me on the bed. I suddenly had this memory of my father and me when I was little, allowing me to play with a toy saw, while he used the real one! Lots of weird, mixed feelings and I'd have loved to have known what My Pete was thinking, though I didn't dare say anything at that moment because I was so scared of it coming out wrong and humiliating him. I just said that this must be frustrating for him.

It looked a good deal larger than I remembered it, possibly because the real thing was under lock and key. I asked him to take it really slowly, and to make a real effort to move it as if it were him inside me, and that made an extraordinary difference. It still didn't feel as nice as the real thing but it was a whole lot better than last time.The artificiality kept bubbling up in my mind but went away when he combined it with kisses and nice words and I have to admit (although I didn't say anything to him) that the feeling of being stretched a little was a lot nicer than I'd expected.

Afterwards, we chatted for a while with my hand on his cage. I said that even though we needed to keep the cage on for a while, we could go back to exploring those other ways of exciting him, and see if we can make those more reliable and intense. He looked a wonderful combination of pathetically grateful and rabbit in the lights. I made it clear that was for another day though.

Sal

 

Thanks for the thought, but... this is what happened last time and it all just felt too mechanical for me. Having the fuzzy warm feeling of nice words and kisses made the whole thing much more exciting for me, to the point that I'd actually like to do it again.
Sal.
PS I've got a lot of time to think about this at the moment. Second day this week that I've turned up for the late shift at work to find no material to work on and a lot of time to twiddle thumbs! It'll mean another late night. Grrr...