Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by longtallsally, May 1, 2022.

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  1. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    He’s perfect for you just as you’re perfect for him. Having him decide was awesome. I don’t think his trust issue with Laura is the real reason. I think he really enjoys the things you’ve been trying but is too nervous or embarrassed to suggest them on his own, even if they are fantasies of his. I fully understand where he is at the moment. He is so lucky to have you as a partner and keyholder.
     
  2. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Thank you for saying such lovely things!
    I haven't really given him choices before, despite several people giving me clear advice that I should. Sometimes I need to hear advice repeatedly before it sinks in! Big thanks to @Jessica Alexander on this particular one, but there's a whole lot of people (such as yourself, and @BarbCD @Headtrip @maid julie @cshorts @ChasteCel, @bondinchas @SlaveBoy73 @anasyrma and lots and lots of others) who are so wonderfully encouraging, generous with ideas and gentle in steering me from doing silly things, or fun things badly.
    Sal
     
  3. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    I am laughing here. Well, that didn't take long! After this morning's conversation, I had felt very surprised about the choice he made. I thought I new him better than that. He's been out since lunchtime but, (and I really can't help sniggering), he just texted to ask if he could change his mind. He said he'd cope with Laura if it means he'll be released early. I told him that I'd been expecting him to change his mind, and that it's a deal.

    I said it was perfect timing because he had given me my lovely treat this morning (I emphasised that it really had been lovely) just in time. My body would be off-limits for the next few days. Perfect timing for Laura to observe the inspection and the rest of his punishment (in lieu of a week or more of total lockup) and I reminded him that I can get quite tetchy at certain times of the month, so he'd better brace himself. I asked him to keep Tuesday evening free. I know Laura's free then.

    Now my stomach is churning!
    Sal
     
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  4. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    You definitely Own It
     
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  5. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    Laura may be asking you for advice before long ;)
     
  6. Baggervance
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    I guess this is the choice you were hoping he would make.
    Seems to me that this represents a far more arousing experience altogether!
    Can't wait to hear how it goes
     
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  7. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    I’m on pins and needles ro hear how Tuesday goes!
     
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  8. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Long lie-in and tea in bed this morning. My Pete said it seemed very unfair that I'd had such satisfying attention yesterday and he hadn't. I asked if he was hinting or begging and he said, "Both". I relented, unlocked him and spent a long time being as frustrating as possible - close and then backing off and saying lots of mischievous things. I asked how desperate he felt. He said 'Very'. I asked him to close his eyes and stay with his arms at his sides. And hey presto, when I came back and opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was... frozen peas! I could swear that he started shrinking before I'd even applied them! The ring was already on and locking him was blissfully quick.

    He's out at the shops at the moment - he texted to say that he aches. I assume that's for real - how long does it last for? My limited experience tells me an hour or so? We have friends coming for tea later and I don't want him to be in pain. Not too much, anyway. (Grin)

    Sal
     
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  9. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    #759 Open2njoy, Sep 4, 2022
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2022
    @longtallsally It was really an easy decision for him, he just needed some time to wrap his mind around it. Obviously the opportunity to make love with you in the near term outweighed the short term embarrassment of being outed and punished in front of Laura as a wanker who needs to be caged to control his urges. Tuesday night has all the potential to be an epic step forward for you both. I’m positive you’ll make it memorable. At the same time you should understand he will masturbate again in part because he wants you to catch him.

    The ache doesn’t last long at all. The edging is well worth any ache and I seriously doubt it’ll interfere with your plans.
     
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  10. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    Next time you could add some fun as you are putting the lock on say something like and add another week for begging
     
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  11. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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  12. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    Pete may feel more comfortable just taking one small step at a time, but he's certainly game to travel the whole journey with you, wherever you want to wander. :+1:
     
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  13. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Long term member

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    No need to apologize Sal. I for one love reading your posts and I am sure many people on here would agree. Feel free to babble on! Your very detailed thoughts and writing add so much value to our community! You really should consider writing a book on this!

    I expect that I speak for many of us when I say that we are very proud of you!

    I love the idea of giving Pete a choice between different activities to please you, but none of which give him direct pleasure. I think is encourages him to focus on you and enjoy your pleasure vicariously.

    Maybe he's calling your bluff!
     
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  14. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    @Rectrix said "I'm a little surprised by this. His comment that it is "unfair" was IMHO very disrespectful. He's locked for a month because he broke one of your core rules, he masturbated in your bed secretly. He's being punished or trained, however you wish to think about it, so it's not unfair. It's exactly what he earned (and is now confessing that your reactiom was in part what he was hoping to trigger!). So I dont see that letting him have an erection was called for, he deserved a reminder of why he was locked in the first place, not a reward."
    I know... I know. But... First of all, I'm just not that strict. Maybe one day, but not at the moment. I'm still a newbie. We both are. And second, I wanted to unlock him for a little exercise because his pleasure (and extra frustration of teasing) gave us both pleasure. And to be honest, I quite like it when he hints, or begs! In fact I like it a lot.

    This is the bit of the whole chastity thing that really does my head in. I find his excitement and arousal exciting. He finds my excitement and arousal exciting. So we both affect each other. I do enjoy the feeling of control over him when I lock him, that's true. But the feeling of excitement I get is a hundred times greater because I know he finds the frustration a turn-on. And him knowing that I'm excited, excites him even more, which excites me even more etc... And I also enjoy the control of unocking him when I want to, and having him respond to me.
    Sal
     
  15. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    Thank you. I am busy blushing at your lovely compliments. Thank you. And I hope I can one day begin to give back a little to the community that has been so encouraging. We would never in a million years have got to where we are, without the support and advice and encouragement I've received here.
    Sal
     
  16. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    This Chastity experience is what ever works for both of you. As far as I am concerned is that you have it down to a science of what works for you and your exploring different options to fine tune it. It is pure joy to read about your experience with it and I am glad that I have been able to help with your fun
     
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  17. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    @longtallsally Ideally the best way to practice a male chastity lifestyle is in whatever manner excites both of you. So it sounds like you’ve got that part well in hand. Over time your interests will grow and change as you try different things. That’s normal. Meanwhile you have a punishment and “coming out” party to plan for Tuesday. Keep having fun.
     
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  18. handsolo
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    handsolo Long term member

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    Sounds like happy days are here again!

    Well, you hold the keys, you make the rules. If you want to keep him locked for punishment, you may. If you want to extend the lockup because it amuses you, go ahead. If you want him unlocked out of pity, you can. If you want to unlock him to take pleasure from him, by all means.

    Random thought: you like when he comes quickly, seeing him lose control, and the humiliation factor. In addition to the penis measurement, you could time the stimulation required for him to finish. For the next session, remove a significant amount, and if he doesn't hit that target, he doesn't get his release. Any time he makes the deadline, remove time. If he fails twice in a row, you could consider adding time back. This could be any stimulation, or confined to intercourse.
     
  19. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    It is important to me not to feel too emasculated. My wife does enjoy the fact that I come quite quickly, or very quickly quite often, but I would sometimes feel disappointed with myself and emasculated. We have talked about it which helped me see it as a positive and also her preference and she will sometimes now reinforce that if and when she feels it's needed.

    I used to believe that by masturbating I was able to last longer for her,

    "Look how long I can last! What a man!"

    but came to see that I was lasting too long for her. That might feel manly, but it's not gentlemanly.

    Chastity is not about making him feel less of a man. It is to make him feel like the best, most considerate, loving and loved husband in the world. Knowing he is doing everything in his power to please his lady is intoxicating. Well it is for me.

    Loving the long posts. Soak up every word. Such an amazing journey you are sharing with us. You are doing incredibly well. Really trust in your own instincts, you are a natural at this.
     
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  20. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    On Tuesday morning I reminded My Pete to be home in good time because Laura was going to be coming over for dinner and whatnot. He replied saying it was the ‘whatnot he was worried about. Later he texted from work, worried that the whole thing would be too ‘domme-ish and sub-ish’. I said I’d be the judge of that, unless he chose to use his safe-word trump card. I said I’d be disappointed if it came to that, but I did reassure him that anything that might, or might not happen that evening needn’t be a precedent for the future!

    Although I had done my best not to show it, I had been very nervous about the evening. But by the time MyPete got home, Laura and I had already finished most of a bottle of wine and most of my worries were gone. She’d come straight from work and was in her very formal lawyer’s outfit. She had brought extra make-up and heels. She said that at work, only the junior staff feel the need to wear heels at the office – and nobody asks them to, but for this, the height and gait make a difference. She said it was all part of the theatre and she took quite a strong interest in helping me select what I was going to wear. I don’t have that many formal clothes but by the time we’d finished Laura said we looked like a couple of sexy businesswomen or perhaps extremely high-class hookers, at which we both had a good laugh. Then we had time to plan a bit nd also for a really good heart-to-heart. She talked about her recalcitrant teenager and how having someone in the house who she was completely unable to boss around made her want to revert to her domme-ish ways in other parts of her life. She asked me a lot about how things were going with My Pete and her manner was so light-hearted that all my nerves disappeared. She reminded me that the whole point of this was that it should be fun. She pointed out that neither of us was so needy or inflexible, that if we came across something that only one of us enjoyed, we’d be easily able to find some compromise that made us both happy. “So, stop worrying so much and just enjoy yourself!” However, the moment I got slightly giggly, she reminded me that we had an approximate plan and that we needed to act the part. I told her she was already being bossy and she said, “Too right!”

    Finally, My Pete arrived. I went to meet him by the front door and as soon as he saw me in my get-up, he asked if we were going out? I said no, we were eating-in and that Laura was already here. We all had the usual small-talk, about work, and inflation and the weather. I could tell he was nervous and a little awkward, but it was so subtle that I think only I noticed. Laura was just like she always is with him – friendly and cheerful and they take a genuine interest in each other’s work. At one point My Pete was a little bit over inquisitive about one of Laura’s clients and she pointed out it was for her to be good at keeping secrets. She just held his gaze for a split second longer than I’d have expected and there was a curious moment of silence before we all got things together for dinner.

    Dinner was full of cheerful chat – but there were a couple of odd moments. At one point Laura turned to him and said, “[My Pete], Would you top up my glass for me?” He stared at her, and she held his gaze until he looked away. I suddenly felt I was in a play. How did she manage to pack so much into those few words, let alone do the whole gaze thing? For a start, in England, unless people know each other very well indeed as equals, guests mostly don’t ask for wine but wait to be offered. I know, we’re old-fashioned but it’s a thing. Second, she used his name (which is not something that friends do much – and never if they already have your attention. That’s why salespeople who’ve been trained to pepper their speech with customers’ names sound to me so laughably insincere). Third, she didn’t say ‘please’, which is odd because she’s naturally very polite. And fourth, the tone was extraordinary – it was a command, not a request. Once he’d looked away, she thanked him warmly, winked in secret to me, and our little dinner carried on.

    The other odd moment was when I spilled a drop of wine on my blouse. White wine, thankfully. It was near my collar and Laura didn’t even need to get up but just dabbed at it with some water on a serviette - nothing odd about that – it’s a natural reflex. But while she was doing it, she commented on my necklace and knowing full well what she was saying, she asked, “Oh look! There’s a little key on it. Do tell me what that’s for!” And then she took the key between her finger and thumb and looked pointedly at My Pete. He immediately looked like a frightened rabbit and I’m afraid I found myself saying to him, quite firmly, “I think you should tell her.”

    He said that he thought she already knew, but I said as clearly as I could that I’m sure Laura would appreciate his explanation. I asked him to tell her, and then go and have a shower after his day at work. He mumbled something a bit unclear - it was strange to see him virtually gibbering but I knew that he and I were both excited too. She got up and stood over him, while he was still sitting, and just said, “Please do tell me, nice and clearly if you can”. There’s something about the way that Laura used her voice and her stance which made her hard to refuse. Her presence reminded me of a headteacher. She reminded me I thought, how much I have to learn!

    He said it was the key to his chastity cage. Again, knowing the whole score already, she asked him to talk her through just what it was that I had control of. She kept asking questions until he’d explicitly told her that I have taken responsibility for his erections and orgasms. And she elicited that he hadn’t come, or had an unsupervised erection for more than three weeks, to which she pointed out that he must have been very bad, and that he must now be very desperate. He was visibly cringing and at that point I asked him to go have a shower and reminded him that Laura would be helping with his measurement and inspection, so when he’d got himself dry he needn’t get dressed but should just call us in when he was ready in ‘The Chair’ (which is what we call the armchair we use for the purpose). He looked like he was going to complain, so I just firmly said, “Please, now”, and as instructed previously by Laura, I added, “Remember to call us in when you’re ready”. And off he went to the shower.

    While he was splashing around in there, I said to Laura just what must be going through his mind – and that having him have to get into such a humiliating and vulnerable position and then call us to say he was ready, was masterful – or mistressful! She said that in her experience the most erotic moments were about anticipation and the trick was to think about what the particular triggers would be for the other person.

    Eventually, he called us in. The expression on his face was a wonderful combination of deep discomfort and lip-biting excitement and I felt very aroused too. And there he was in the armchair, his legs draped over each side, stark naked, and securely caged. I’ve learned this is a great position (thanks for the advice from @maid julie ) because he’s very much on show, vulnerable and men find it less easy to stay hard when their legs are open, so there’s an added frisson of control. Laura said that I had explained to her about his concern that he might be shrinking in the cage and would help me take some of the measurements. I said I’d call out the measurements and perhaps he could repeat them, so Laura could write them down in my notebook. I asked Laura if she would like to inspect the cage? I said she could touch it if she wanted to.

    In that position, he was very much on display. We both stood over him – both of us fully clothed of course. She leant down, and while still looking him in the eye, she gave the cage a very definite tug. He gasped and at first, I thought she’d hurt him, but I could tell it was excitement or at least surprise, rather than pain. She said it seemed to be secure and she asked him whether he’d thought about getting a slightly smaller size – pointing out that some men do ‘trade down’ occasionally to be more snug in there? He said, “Please! Don’t give her any ideas”. She just smiled.

    I undid my necklace and gave the key to Laura, and asked her to unlock him. I asked to take off the cage (but we’d agreed she would leave the ring on and she wouldn’t touch him). He looked mortified.

    I was worried that he might be too scared or uncomfortable to get hard, but I needn’t have worried. He sprang to attention immediately with just the gentlest touch and we set to the measurements. Laura encouraged me to be much more thorough than I had been previously, and we both took pleasure in him having to call them out. Then I did an estimate of hardness, which he always finds especially embarrassing. Laura said there was another measurement worth doing. She sat us both on the sofa and (as agreed) I asked My Pete to stand in front of us while I measured his ‘angle’.

    And finally, My Pete’s least comfortable position, and the one that always makes women laugh even though we try not to admit it, standing, facing away from us, legs wide apart, then bending over clasping his knees, keeping his legs straight. Laura and I talked out loud about the way men’s balls hang is a crazy piece of engineering. Talk about vulnerable! She said, “Anyone could just come along and tie something around them!” Which of course, is exactly what I did – the little adjustable leather thstrap around his balls, with him squirming like a mad thing. I asked Laura if she’d like to attach the lead, which she did. He was breathing really heavily, and I asked if he was ok. He just said, “Intense”. She then said, in a surprisingly soothing voice, “Calm yourself. Let yourself be directed”. And he visibly calmed. This time I thought, not so much the headteacher, but more like a horse-whisperer. It felt odd to see My Pete in someone else’s control, although he was facing away from us, and what she’d said had implied that it was just as much me, as her.

    I said to Laura that she could take the lead for a minute or two. He started saying, “I’m not sure…” but before he could finish the sentence, she nodded to me, flicked her wrist and I said “please get us some whiskies”. And off he trotted to the kitchen with Laura leading him from behind, as it were, just keeping the tension right. We chatted and commented while he got the drinks together then back towards the sofa. Then she nodded to me again, a sharp flick downwards and I said, “Down”. And there he was, kneeling on all fours. Another, much gentler, flick of her wrist and I said, “Right down” and now he had his shoulders on the floor. It was quite a view.

    Laura said, in quite a schoolmarmy way, that everything seemed to be in order but perhaps that was enough for ‘a first time’. That set off a whole train of thought and fantasies, but I just unclipped him, asked him to stand up and complimented him on managing still to be so hard. “Please bring the frozen peas and the cage for me”.

    I let Laura hold the frozen peas and I got him locked up in no time. Clothes on, drinks and nibbles, and minutes later we were just chatting as if nothing had happened. After another half an hour or so, Laura said she’d had a lovely time but had an early start the next day. As she was leaving, she told me she'd really enjoyed herself and that he and I were very lucky to have found each other. She also said there's a whole load of other things we could try one day.

    After she’d gone, we had a quick debrief. We’d clearly both enjoyed it a lot and were very aroused. He said, “I definitely deserve to come now!”. I said, “You do, that’s true. But… I think, on balance, you really need another day or two of desperation”. He hadn’t expected that, and said, “We can’t just go to sleep!” I said that was also true, so I took some clothes off and manoeuvred myself into the armchair, in exactly the same position he’d been in, and told him in an explicit way, which is not at all like me, exactly what I wanted. I’m please to say he responded like an eager puppy, and gave great satisfaction!

    I really am going to unlock him and let him come before the weekend. I guess that means tomorrow!

    Sal
     
  21. BarbCD
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    BarbCD Long term member

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    Your writing is, as usual, so very clear and articulate that I almost feel like I’m in the room watching all this. And, this time I learned a ton about the subtleties of what makes a good domme. Knowledge I will tuck away for future reference.
     
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  22. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    @longtallsally What a perfect and gentle introduction to being outed and to CFNM. Pete may tell you he was embarrassed, but his immediate erection is a better gage of his excitement ;). Recaging him after the measurements were taken was pure genius. I imagine he had a “hard” time sleeping after that experience and I’m willing to bet he will admit he loved every minute of the evening. You and Laura were perfect.
     
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  23. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    NJ
    Local Time:
    10:59 AM
    Excellent job as usual
     
    longtallsally likes this.
  24. tecolote
    Offline

    tecolote Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 18, 2018
    Messages:
    838
    Likes Received:
    1,148
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Government
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    California
    Local Time:
    7:59 AM
    Wow. Just... Wow.

    Poor old lucky Pete. He's in for a hard time. I am so jealous of him.
     
    bondinchas and longtallsally like this.
  25. Jessica Alexander
    Offline

    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

    Joined:
    Jan 26, 2016
    Messages:
    2,154
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    4,198
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Houston
    Local Time:
    3:59 PM
    I’m sure it’s way off, but my brain has assigned voices and images to Sal and Pete. I can hear Sal when I read her writing and see the expressions on Peat’s face. I truly find this the most interesting thread on this site and mainly log in to see if there is an update from Sal.

    it may ruin it if Pete could read your posts but it would be so interesting to peek into his mind. Maybe Sal can get him to write a sort of weekly diary update that she could share here for posterity.
     
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