Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by longtallsally, May 1, 2022.

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  1. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    You can just give him the key, tell him to shave and wash real good. Give him permission to stroke it some and enjoy his erection but warn him against getting carried away or he's in BIG trouble. When he is done and comes back to you (he will still be erect, I promise) have the condom ready, unrolled half an inch or so with numbing gel/spray already inside (you can't really use too much). You can massage the liqid/gel around inside once you roll the condom down.

    Now would be a good time to let him go down on you and instruct him to slowly edge himself while pleasing you but let him know all fun stops if he gets carried away. After about 15 minutes it will be safe to let him get carried away as he wants. He wont be able to get off while having sex but you when you are done, you can encourage him to do his best with his hand. He will be MAD with lust and the desire to cum so just let him go until he tires out and cant go anymore. Then, tell him to wash up with soap really well and tell him he has 10 minutes to try and get off inside you but he isn't allowed to stoke himself with his hands anymore. Be dramatic and set a timer on your phone and set the phone next to the cage and let him know he has 5 minutes (set the timer again) to recage after the timer goes off to get his cage back on and present to you for relocking or he will get swats with the cane.
     
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  2. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    Of course even if you are “ships that pass in the night” right now, his desire and horniness will continue to grow unabated because his usual outlet for sexual relief is locked safely away. Make sure to keep his attention focused on his predicament through teasing. Don’t let the fact that you’re on different schedules turn this week into a locked and forgotten time. Sometimes a simple message with a favorite caption and the words “thinking of you” can be very powerful.
     
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  3. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    You're SO right to remind me! This week so far, I've actually been quite good about this but I've forgotten in the past, and that was definitely not good. Thank you! Sal
     
  4. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    You could send him a text. Something like
    Thinking of you or thinking of how safe and secure you are, it gets me all Hot and excited. I bet that you would love to be doing more than just thinking about me
     
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  5. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    That is so important! Anything that indicates you are thinking about him being locked, even if it seems kinda mean like, "thinking about your being locked up tight while I hold the key makes me so horny"! Set a an alarm on your phone to remind you daily to send him a short message and it will go a LONG way for him.
     
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  6. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    Yes a very long long way
     
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  7. cshorts
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    cshorts Locked in love for SL

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    A few days ago you asked how we penis-owners feel when using a strap-on or numbing cream with condom. My wife has me use both methods quite regularly — she loves being filled, but is committed to denying me orgasms (typically grants only about 6 per year).

    In my case, I really enjoy both strapping on and cream-condom. I find the frustration very exciting - it’s why I asked for chastity, that and wanting her to exert control. And I love giving her pleasure, so its wonderful to do that while being so physically close to her. (And her most preferred position is missionary so I get to watch her face.)

    I’m sure some find it humiliating or emotionally challenging -- something clear from this forum is how varied we all are. I love both of these types of play though, and sometimes desire them even more than she does. (Though it is MUCH more exciting when it is her decision and she orders me.)

    Also, bit of possible advice: generally she orders me to do the preparation (put on the harness, or prepare and apply the condom). She’ll typically lie there watching, perhaps using her wand. This we she doesn’t have to bother with the mechanics and she and I both enjoy the additional way she exerts her control.
     
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  8. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    #708 longtallsally, Aug 27, 2022
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2022
    Sometimes the messages on here really make me smile. The ones in the last few days, echoing all those that I've received over the months, reminding me to send My Pete plenty of messages while our work calendars are preventing us from seeing each other, have made me smile a lot. You guys really care - whether about him, or me, or both of us doesn't matter - THANK YOU!!

    I like to think that I would have remembered anyay, but I've been pretty diligent this last week and sent frequent saucy little messages to make sure he know's he's not forgotten. This has been easier for me because as a little exercise, I decided that while we weren't seeing each other much this week, and knowing he's locked up, I'd experiment with consciously not playing with myself. That means I've been feeling quite enjoyably frustrated too. I was sure to text him to tell him. He immediately pointed out that it's a good thing for me to have a taste of my own medicine, to which I replied that the difference was that I could satisfy myself anytime I like. :)

    The past week we've had little more physical contact then me rather hurriedly washing it, shaving under the ring and adding cream if necessary and giving it just enough attention to make him feel nicely frustrated for a while. I've had to use the frozen peas a couple of times as we've been in a hurry and I haven't wanted to wait for it to subside. I can tell he's getting quite desperate again because he looks at my body a lot (I love that!) even when I've got my clothes on.

    One thing I've noticed recently is that the tone of his texts has changed a little. Until recently, I was always the one taking the lead on this sort of topic. It still is, mostly, but I've noticed that especially since we had his misdemeanour and the prospect of a month in his cage, he has been initiating more. Interestingly, his texts are quite often on the theme of how frustrated I must be feeling, without having 'proper sex' so much any more. He's right, actually. In fact it's something I did mention a while back that while I totally love having the control of when he comes, and even when he gets hard (which is one of the most exciting aspects of all this for me), I am having 'proper sex' less than before. I miss it. He's been an eager learner with his hands and his mouth (that's another part of him that gets shaved regularly now!) but I miss the feeling of being filled. He also suggested in various ways, that he'd like to have a couple of hours to do with me whatever he pleases. I responded that I'd enjoy that very much, so long as he kept his cage on. He just replied, "Oh".

    So, his texts have reminded me that I'm feeling a bit frustrated (actully quite a lot frustrated, especially this week) and have also made me wonder about forgiving him his sins and unlocking him. On the other hand, some encouragingly plain cardboard boxes arrived in the post for him a couple of days ago, and he was under instruction to buy various bits and pieces and learn to use them.

    We'll be back to our normal calendar when I finish late tonight. I'll see how things play out tomorrow. I like the idea of him taking control for a while, with my permission and with a time limit of course, and securely caged - but I have my needs and that may mean unlocking him. I had thought that it would be me feeling guilty about his frustration that would make me unlock him, but instead, it might be my frustration! I also realise that he might have been manipulating me with his texts, but if that's the case, is that such a bad thing?

    Here's me, overthinking again, and looking forward to tomorrow.

    Sal
     
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  9. cshorts
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    cshorts Locked in love for SL

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    Your post about your own frustration and how you are missing feeling filled by penetration reminded me to mention something my wife has been learning about strap-on vs. condom-cream: she can tell the difference between the Vixskin (which is quite realistic, and one of our is almost identical in length and girth to me) and the real me (albeit with condom). She has been demanding the latter relatively more frequently for that reason: at first she thought that was somehow letting me down because I wasn't caged, but as she caught on that if anything it is *more* frustrating for me (because I get erect, and feel *something*, but can't cum) she realizes that she can have it both ways: tease and deny me, *and* have my cock inside her. Just another bit of food for thought as you explore the options.
     
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  10. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    A lovely long lie-in together this morning after my week on late shift. We were both glad to wake up slowly together - and excited too after a week of texting and the briefest 'maintenance showers' together. Today though, proper breakfast in bed and flirting. I noticed him looking at the little key on my necklace and he commented on what a good job he'd made of cutting the top off it (ages ago now), and drilling a new little hole so it looked so neat. He asked whether it needed filing at all and as he was saying it, he stretched out his fingers - I think he was going to see if the edges were properly smooth. I immediately told him no and just said, "Please don't do that", just as if I'd been out with some bloke on our first date and he'd tried to have a grope!

    He looked demolished for a second, so I just said that we both know that he can't touch the key, but perhaps he'd like me to unlock him? How quickly he was eager puppy again! I told him so and said"Well we know what eager puppies need" and went and got the leash and attached it to the bottom underside of the cage. We were both giggling as I gave a nice brisk tug and led hi around. We ended up in the bathroom and he gave this huge sigh when I unlocked him and by the time I'd thought about taking the ring off, it looked like it would already take too much wrangling, so I left it on. I said lots of nice, naughty things and made a point of running my fingernails over his nipples. Lots of sighs. I said I could tell he was desperate and how frustrating it must be for him that because of his misdemeanour he'd have to wait - what was it now ? - a couple of weeks more before he could come. "At least a couple of weeks". He said that he was finding it really difficult. He was obviously completely aroused and I was too. At that moment, what I really wanted was to make him come any old how, and then look forward to proper sex in a couple of hours when he'd still be desensitised. I started to stroke him and nibble his nipples a bit. I was thinking about letting him come when he asked me whether I wasn't feeling frustrated as well? That took me out of the moment and made me remember about the harness and bits and pieces he'd bought. I stopped touching him - if only he knew how close I'd been to giving him what he wanted and he looked frustrated beyond belief. We both just watched it bobbing around for a bit.

    I asked him how the shopping had been. He said, "Fine". I asked him if he'd tried all the straps and things, looking him in the eye. He said yes, and that he'd even watched some instructional videos. I didn't enquire about those too closely. but made it clear I was really pleased, and excited, and admitted I was a bit nervous too. He looked at me in this smiley goofy way that makes my heart melt and asked how I'd feel about him being in control for the next couple of hours. I said that I'd enjoy that a lot but just for two hours and obviously he would have to have his cage on. He said that would be frustrating but he'd expected me to say it. We got the cage on together (frozen peas are magic - I could swear he started going soft just with the sight of them!) and I locked it and just said, "Ok, I'm all yours". He asked me to lie on the bed and told me he was going to blindfold me. Except of course he couldn't find the blindfold and he had to improvise with scarves and things, so we were both giggling which wasn't really the mood he was looking for, I think.

    But once I couldn't see anything, I felt his hand on my shoulder, pressing me back onto the bed. Just that movement reminded me how much stronger he is than I am. He told me that he wanted me just to lie back and not move. He said that if I did, he would tie me. I just lay there and he told me he'd be back soon. I heard him going about the place, much splashing in the bathroom, various drawers being opened and closed etc. Suddenly he was breathing in my ear, asking if I felt vulnerable. At that moment, I did and I said so. It had been quite some time since he had taken the lead and I'd forgotten how it felt). Then I realised that he was putting on the harness! I asked if I could watch and he very firmly said no and that I should just let him decide what would happen. I asked if he'd got something to put in the harness and he said that I should just wait.

    He paid attention to my whole body and said lots of naughty things. I was feeling a bit desperate by then and started to say that I wouldn't mind unlocking him, but he just shushed me (again, if only he knew!) and asked me not to say anything, but to keep my legs apart and be still, and I felt one hand again on my shoulder, pressing down quite hard. And then right next to my ear, he had scissors in his hand and he was opening and closing them. I felt goosebumps all down my side. I knew he would never hurt me but it felt very strange indeed. And then he cut my underwear off me! I wasn't expecting that! I sort of shrieked and he just said - 'a few stitches and they'll be fine'. Then he said "We all have our triggers - I know yours. Please stay still".

    Then his hands, and mouth and tongue were on me. But every time I got close, he moved a little to the side, or stopped altogether. After a while he asked how I felt. I said "Frustrated". He said "Good". I said that at least I would be coming soonish, if not now then when his time's up, but he'll be frantic for weeks yet". That led to some further joyful frustration for me, which did make me think about what he's been going through.
    And then he asked me to wait on all fours, still with the blindfold on. I heard him go to the bathroom, and as he came back he was obviously wrangling the harness. He asked me to put my shoulders onto the bed and a moment later he was sliding into me. I had prepared myself (as per instruction from a friendly soul in a recent post) to make appropriately positive noises but I didn't have to act. The feeling of being completely filled was so exactly what I needed. I was probably a bit noisy and he asked me if I was ok. I asked him to slow right down, which I like anyway but after such a long break and all the denial beforehand, this was very intense and I came very quickly. Cuddling afterwards, he asked me if it had hurt or if it was too big and I said it had felt fantastic. And did he get the temperature right? I assured him that he had.

    Up to that point I'd only been thinking about me. I realised that for the past months, bring in charge and taking the lead I hadn't been able to just forget myself like this. I asked him how it had felt for him. He said, "total mindfuck". I asked "Good mindfuck or bad mindfuck" and He said that he honestly didn't know. I asked if I could take off the blindfold but he refused saying that next time I'd be in charge but for now, no.
    I heard him take off the harness, various messing about in the bathroom and then we were together again. He took off my blindfold and we had an epic kiss. He gave me a playful smack on the bottom and told me to make the tea.

    I asked if I could please see what had been inside me. He said that I'd see it sometime anyway and fetched it from the bathroom, drying it with a towel. He put it in my hand, which felt very weird indeed. It seemed too big. It crossed my mind that if I had been able to see it and all the mechanics I might not have lost myself so easily in the experience. My Pete does know me well.

    He asked me whether the size felt right and a whole lot of things went through my mind. What was the right answer? It had been obvious that I'd enjoyed the experience and in the heat of the moment, I had previously said that it had felt perfect. But he'd bought a contraption that is rather bigger than him and the last thing I wanted was for him to get hung up about size, (any more that is, than he is already, being a bloke! I've never met a man who wasn't unsure about his size). I was quick to say that I enjoyed it, but it wasn't as good as the real thing especially because it wasn't a live part of him. That was true, although a tiny part of me loved the idea that neither of us had to worry about it going soft or if he comes first. He hardly ever does go soft but it's just occasionally in the back of my mind somewhere. I also hated admitting it to myself that I enjoyed the size - the girth really, especially when I was so aroused. All those thoughts raced through in an instant and made me feel uncomfortable. I said I wished he hadn't been so bad recently as we could have been having proper sex together, rather than keeping him caged for so much longer. He said that I could easily unlock him for a bit, but I just said I felt satisfied now, so it would be for the best if he stayed locked as per the arrangement.

    I said that he'd been very thoughtful getting the contraption and that I'd found the thought of him doing that for me, very exciting. I also complemented him on his mouth skills, which have become very special. I said that I'd like him to think about how it had felt for him today and be ready to tell me later in the week. Then I said... "Laura will be here for your inspection and measurement - I did warn you - so perhaps you could tell us both then?"

    He was about to say something. I just said "Please don't say anything. It's something we agreed." Then I got up to make tea.

    I'm still processing all this. (It was only this morning). He's out with friends this afternoon, locked of course. I wonder how he's feeling.
    Sal
     
  11. ChasteCel
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    ChasteCel 7/6 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale

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    Sounds like it went well! Congrats!

    Curious to hear more about what your Pete felt when you two get a chance to process and share, but sounds like a good succcess.

    (PS, I may also steal the whole "blindfold" idea... smart man you got there)
     
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  12. cshorts
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    cshorts Locked in love for SL

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    What a terrific story, Sal. As so many have repeatedly said, you and Pete really have something special going. With so much love and caring consideration for each other, and so much fun that you have, there's no reason to worry about the small stuff -- things won't always be perfect, but in the grand scheme, you two are terrific together!
     
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  13. anasyrma
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    anasyrma Long term member

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    I wish there was a LOVE button instead of just a LIKE button!

    I especially liked:
    Thank you for sharing such intimate moments with us Sal!
     
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  14. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    I assure you that he is acutely aware that it was bigger than him and he was probably hoping you would enjoy it. You should explore that some.
     
  15. Lakeman
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    Lakeman Long term member

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    Yep, agree with @Jessica Alexander . He would be have carefully compared the length and girth of the dildo to his own dimensions, and have wondered how different it felt for you.
     
  16. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    Another perfect performance! I must say he seems to be enjoying this lifestyle as much as you. There’s no doubt he’s frustrated but he’s probably at the point where he enjoying the feelings of being constantly horny.

    Do you plan on having him wear only his cage while Laura visits? CFNM (clothed female, nude male) can be incredibly powerful especially if you keep him busy serving you both tea while you talk. After the last couple of weeks, he’ll probably be throbbing in his device the whole time she’s there.

    You’re a natural.
     
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  17. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    I feel very unsure about this and I've been worrying about it. I remember when I was in my early teens, I was painfully conscious of the size of my breasts. Looking back, I was a slightly late developer but probably just average. I remember some boy saying, "Don't worry, they're lovely" or something like that. He meant well, but by saying 'don't worry', it reinforced my feeling that there was something to worry about! But that experience did make me empathise with men who feel they're not big enough. And that's, literally, every man I've ever met. Honestly, average is just fine by me. Other factors are so much more important. But of course, nobody wants to be called average, so I would never put it like that - I just pay nice compliments - which doesn't require any acting or dishonesty.

    Yesterday, I was randy as hell and sopping wet after all the teasing. I was blindfold, shoulders-down and and on all fours, desperate to be filled and when I felt him (it???) enter me, it felt completely fabulous. I think he asked me a couple of times if the size was ok. I thought I was careful about what I said but I think I may have been overenthusiastic about what if felt like to be filled again. I think in the heat of the moment, I might have said 'properly filled'. And when I asked him to slow down, I think I said something about loving the feeling of being stretched a little, which is why he needed to go slow. I think what I said afterwards, about more than anything wanting him inside me again (which is true) would have reassured him. But I worry about what will have been going through his mind and the last thing in the world I want is to undermine his confidence. But I feel there's nothing I can say, because it'll just draw more attention to it and he'll think I'm trying to be kind.

    The other thing I've been thinking about is the extra dimension of him making me come so intensely, while he was obviously aroused too but incapable even of being hard. At the time, alongside everything else it was just another ingredient in the mix. I was in the ultimate submissive position and blindfolded, and could feel his physical power over me, but I still had a feeling of control myself, over the most intimate part of him. It felt special and very erotic for me. It's that feeling of my own power, ad his willingness to relinquish it to me, that makes him being caged feel so exciting to me. Thinking about it today, I know that a year ago, I would have found the whole idea of chastity - the cage, the lock, the little rituals of shaving and adding cream, the texts even, completely weird and offputting. As for him being caged and taking me with a strapon, that would have been beyond weird. Feeling him thrusting while knowing he was caged was weird. Perhaps yesterday the blindfold made all the difference, so that I could find it exciting and weird, rather than yuck and weird. The other thing that made all the difference was a practical, boring thing - he'd warmed the contraption in the sink!

    All this has made me think about trying the numbing cream again with him. If we can get it right (I realise this is my responsibility - eek!) the idea of having him inside me for real, able to be hard and to fill me, but unable to come unless I want him to, is quite thrilling.

    He's out all today (it's a holiday here) but I'm dying to hear what he felt about all this. Laura's coming over later in the week - we'll do the inspection thing, which will be fun and squirmy (for both of us) but sine I mentioned it yesterday, I've gone off the idea of asking him to explain to us both what it felt like for him to use the strapon. It feels too intimate. I'll ask him tonight.

    Sal
     
  18. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    Just keeping it simple asking him how he felt and is it something that he would like to do more. I would think it was something that he liked he put extra thought into it, had you under his control and brought you to orgasm
     
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  19. longtallsally
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    longtallsally Long term member

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    That feels like good advice - thank you. And you're right - he'd put quit a bit of thought into it. I've just texted him to thank him again for that. Sal.
     
  20. Jessica Alexander
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    Jessica Alexander Trans woman not a mistress or Dom

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    Something you may want to consider in the future is a lockbox timer like the KitchenSafe. For you, it lets you relax and not worry about getting too excited and unlocking him when you didn't plan it. For him, he can relax and focus on you because he knows without doubt that they key isn't available to either of you until the timer is up.

    You are doing great and it's so fun to follow your journey. BTW, it may be interesting to give him an a option of using the harness on you or to be inside you with the numbing cream. It's always fun to give choices and can be interesting to observe the choices.
     
  21. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    Yes I was also just wondering about the option idea as I was logging on
     
  22. maid julie
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    maid julie Long term member

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    You know at what speed to give him options
     
  23. handsolo
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    handsolo Long term member

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    That sounds like a rollicking, unqualified success. Before his current sentence is over, you could consider a Clone-a-Willy: https://cloneawilly.com/collections/clone-a-willy. I don't think he has strap-on envy, as he bought it, and made a point of asking about it, but the molding process would be appropriately humiliating and tantalizing, and the result for you would be Lil' Pete methadone for when he's safely stored away.
     
    SubPeter likes this.
  24. LulledIntoSubmission
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    LulledIntoSubmission Active member

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    You are fantastic, Sal. It is so refreshing to know that women like you still exist. Best of luck, I am certain that you guys will find your groove!
     
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  25. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Long term member

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    Keep in mind he bought the strap-on without your input. So he was aware of the difference in size compared to him. You may be over thinking it but it’s hard to tell without his feedback. It sounds like he enjoyed it especially having some time to be in control, even if locked. Don’t apologize for your pleasure ;)
     
    spider203, Headtrip and longtallsally like this.
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