Deciding on control measures each day

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by AnniesGrl, Jul 23, 2009.

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  1. AnniesGrl
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    AnniesGrl Junior Member

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    One challenge my mistress and I struggle with is to decide which (if any) control measures we will implement each day. We are new to chastity and control and we both want to please each other. We have a steel chastity belt for me as well as a cb-3000. Each morning she asks what I suggest she do to control me and I offer suggestions. She is not naturally dominant so we struggle. I was thinking we could list choices from wearing a collar up to wearing the steel belt with the plug attachment (most control). Then we could roll the dice and that way she would not have to choose. Has anyone struggled with this and has anyone used this solution set? Ideas? Comments? :butterfly:
     
  2. staci
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    staci Senior Member

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    I suggest sitting down and somewhat negotiating a set of zero tolerance rules with very specific mandatory minimum punishments or consequences for each rule infraction.

    I also suggest working out a very specific chore / duty schedule .... again with very specific mandatory minimum punishments / consequences when not performed on time or to satisfaction.
     
  3. AnniesGrl
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    AnniesGrl Junior Member

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    Hey thanks! I like that there would be a minimum punishment. thanks for your thoughts.
     
  4. roberta
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    roberta Junior Member

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    Get yourself into chastity as soon as possible, then wait for two days to elapse and offer to please her in return for a release from the chastity. Make sure you know how to please her with your tongue or you are in for another two days chastity, without release. Just continue with this scenario and allow it to become a habit that cannot be broken.....
     
  5. staci
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    staci Senior Member

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    I'd like to mention that the only reason I suggested any sort of negotiation of the rules is merely because at this point She is so new to "this" and undecided on how to procede. If things go well, in time your right to negotiate much of anything should greatly diminsh.

    Good luck!
     
  6. Petite Salope
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    Petite Salope Sissy Cherry

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    One thing you should not negociate is for the chastity device. She must have total control over that and She decide when you get release and for how long...

    As long as you don't have health problems you must wear the CD 24/7. It might be hard at first but eventually you want to go back in after 5 sec of release. Let say at first you wear the CD for a full week minimum and She decide after the week is done if She release you right away or keep you in for a few more days...

    Trust me when the time for release is coming you get so exited that you do nothing else that what She says to please Her... you'll become more romantic and start notice details about Her.

    When I ordered my cb-6000 W/we were starting this lifestyle, after the break in period I was wearing my CB 24/7 until I got my PA. I notice that Her smile had change after a few days in my CB since I was more kind to Her and told Her about the little change in Her smile and Her eyes. After that She decided that corporal punishement was my punishement for mistakes or misbehave, so She bought a nice crop and I found a cane. Now my punishement is not keeping my CB but a nice cropping session because I must wear my CB 24/7. Well it should start again soon because I should change my PA slave ring for a curved barbell. I'll be release only for clean-up and milking.

    Because I started doing all the chores at home, She's less tired and has more energy to spare. She's feeling better and never felt so loved in Her life other than Her parents and family members.

    You have to start slowly and She'll get use to it and won't want to stop and become better and more the Mistress She is, more confident about Herself because of all the control She'll have over you.

    -Cherry
     
  7. Respectful
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    Respectful Chaste by choice

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    Annie's Girl

    My primary training is repeated teasing and denial with an ever moving date chosen by her for any kind relief, such as orgasms, milkings, or your standard droolings.

    I am currently limited to once a month release of any kind on average and grateful for it :)~

    Cindy
     
  8. AnniesGrl
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    AnniesGrl Junior Member

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    :butterfly:
    Thanks all for the thoughts. Here are some of my replies.

    I had a thought last night about trying to go a weekend in chastity. When I got my CB I found (as most do) that in the middle of the night I get hard and it pulls the ring forward and causes some pain as skin gets pinched. It obviously makes it challenging to sleep and since we get so little sleep, we decided to only do it during the day. Once I got my NeoSteel (which I love) we found it makes it hard to snuggle so again we decided not to wear it to bed.

    Cherry you mention making sure she has total control. As we are new, she doesnt want to cause me pain or unnecessary suffering (yet !) so that is a learning point for both of us.

    With the neosteel, I found "pooping" to be the issue. We run a business and are in the office 20 hrs a day. I have found that cleaning up is a huge issue. Maybe I have not learned yet but we only have one stall in the female bathroom so if I were to be clanking or spraying it would be hard to explain to the other women in the office that might be waiting. I was thinking we could try 48hrs over the weekend to see and learn.

    Staci: I agree with you. She needs to ease into the role. She seems to really enjoy being Mistress when stress is low and we are relaxed. Sadly we are in some challenging economic times and stress is high for both of us. I like the negotiation part.

    Cindy: I love the idea of teasing and denial. We have tried a few things. I have tried to describe edging and we have tried to come up with a way for me to tell her when I think I am getting close to orgasm. I have suggested sitting next to her while watching tv so she could play with her toy. Sometimes it works but I am finding that I get excited all day every day when in chastity and she is not in my body so she forgets what joy and pain she is creating.

    Maybe I have not gotten to the point where I am begging and talking and pleading yet?

    I also love the crop and we used to have training sessions where she would fill my ass with a dildo then use the crop. Her first inclination was to do 20 quick smacks. I found that distracting. She also was smackinng lightly so I could easily go 100 or more. I came up with a scale and said smack me once and I will tell you how many I think I could take at that level. When she hit hard enough for a 20 then we started and did 20. I had her wait 5 seconds or so in between and that was better. I told her that even though it hurts, I love the feeling of a warm ass as I walk around for the next hour.

    I have read about teasing games and would love to hear how your mistress might tease or deny you?

    Anniesgrl.:confused0068:
     
  9. Petite Salope
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    Petite Salope Sissy Cherry

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    W/we're new to this also... less than a year.
    About the CB at night it's normal to get hard during sleep the first few nights are the worse then you get use to it.
    For total control, I mean She decide about everything but you can tell Her if it hurts too much since chastity isn't about pain.

    Total control means if you ask for release because you want to play with yourself, She can denied it. But if you ask to be release because of pain that is another story... She must take care of your health.

    After a few weeks/months She get the idea of how to control you and make sure you don't have unwanted pain. She even wants more control over you over time as She gets experience and selfconfidence.

    The thing is to read a lot from the internet or books, both of you...
    You need to read about being the perfect sub/slave for your Mistress.
    She needs to read about being a Mistress and all the things She can or can't do...

    You can also fill a list like this one: http://www.chastitymansion.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1974&highlight=fetlist
    So you can set your limits for both of you and make sure to have a safe word in case you can't take it anymore because sometimes NO means YES.

    -Cherry
     
  10. charles
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    charles Member

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    I know the feeling when you get an erection during the night and the ring pulls against your testicles, it's bloody painful. I have yet to discover a way to wear my CB6000 without waking in pain in the early hours of the morning, when I have to remove it before I can get back to sleep.
     
  11. chastityslavejohn
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    chastityslavejohn Mistress Irianna's pet

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    charles, don't know how long you are wearing your device but i found that my sack stretched after a few weeks. lucky you, my Mistress would never let me out because of the pain from morning wood.
     
  12. Petite Salope
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    Petite Salope Sissy Cherry

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    I was trying diiferent combination of ring and spacer and found the balance after that it was less painfull and my sack adjust and strecht whitin a few weeks. You don't start wearing the CB 24/7 right away... at first you keep it a few hours at the time and you increase the time spent in it from a few hours/day to 1 full day/night (24 hours) then you keep increasing the time for the break in period... when you are at about 48-60 hours in it and sleeping with it without any more problems then you can start wearing it 24/7 for a few weeks then months...

    -Cherry
     
  13. charles
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    charles Member

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    Thanks for the advice folks. I guess it's a case of persevere a little longer.
     
  14. ALLORNOWT
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    ALLORNOWT Senior Member

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    charles i think the idea of the cb device is to prevent you being a little longer!..............:scared0016:
     
  15. dorcsssc
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    dorcsssc Member

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    Just remember the adage about not doing food shopping when you're hungry when it comes to all these negotiations.
     
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