Dealing with the emotional roller coaster

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by DJ711, Dec 20, 2017.

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  1. DJ711
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    DJ711 Member

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    So I was just wondering how all of the locked males deal with the emotional roller coaster that inevitably comes with chastity? My girlfriend and I are in a relationship of 2 years now, and chastity/orgasm denial has been a part of our relationship throughout. I absolutely love her, no matter my state of arousal, but I do find that the feelings of lust and adoration (in addition to obedience and attentiveness) build as my denial increases in length. This is to be expected, and I'd be more confused if it didn't happen, but I wanted to get some advice on how to deal with these feelings.

    My girlfriend and I don't live together although we see each other very often. I find that for me I almost end up having 2 modes: the mode where I gush and adore her and feel like I literally can't be close enough to her, and the mode where although I love her, my mind can be diverted to other areas fairly easily. When we're apart I like to stay in the latter of those two modes if possible, but she invariably notices and worries that there's something wrong because we don't feel as close. My issue is that, try as I might, it's just so incredibly painful to wish to be with and talk to her and not be able to. I don't know how to let those feelings of lust and adoration stay at the forefront of my brain while not letting it affect my mood negatively. On the other hand I don't want to bury these feelings and not show them to her when I know that bothers her.

    So how do you guys deal with the intersection of these intense feelings and everyday life?
     
  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Well cell phones are wonderful for sharing. I am often at work, or away, and we share pics, memes, and quotes from tumblr and other sites to express how we are feeling. Sometimes they are romantic and fuzzy, sometimes they are dirty, and sometimes it’s expressing what is turning us on at the moment.

    Some things are shared with the intention of making it happen, others are just pillow talk. Sometimes we make little promises or threats, but when it comes down to it, when we actually see each other, most of the time the plans change so I’ve learned not to be disappointed. She could be horny as heck in the morning when she was texting, but by the time she gets home she may not want to do anything but take a nap. No biggie, it keeps you guessing.

    So that’s how we deal with the intense feelings and is our outlet for expressing them when she isn’t physically there.
     
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  3. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Active member

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    You asked for the male perspective on emotions, so I'll that bit to jack when he's back home. But if I could offer...
    Your intensity when you're together versus your 'drifting mind' when apart, i would suggest is a result of your brain's protective reaction to an extreme intense event. Our biology is set to try and maintain a balance, like a protective mechanism to prevent extreme negative reactions. It's not always successful in some people, but in general irrespective of the type of event, you're subconsciously taking care of your emotions. We can't control our emotions, just be confused sometimes when they react differently to what we expect.
     
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  4. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Active member

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    Sometimes I deal with it well and sometimes not. I've got a very confusing dynamic. My wife is my Mistress and dominant key holder, but she is also my employee. I run my own construction business and she deals with the admin side of things. I can be in the office working under a deadline for a bid or a meeting where I need information from her and I've got to instruct her on what to do. Even when not dealing with her I can be in the midst of some very intense situations and then all of a sudden she'll say "I'm hungry, go fix me lunch". It's like doing 75 on the freeway and trying to downshift to 1st gear. So I struggle with the emotional roller coaster all the time. I'd love to tell you there's some special coping mechanism to employ, but the reality is each time is a little different. I'd rather stay in submissive mode all the time, but I know one of her main expectations of me is to provide for our family. So I step into my jeans, strap on my man boots and man up. Of course my locked penis is ensconced in panties the whole time and that helps keep me grounded :cool:
     
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  5. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Active member

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    clipped
    We girls like subs like you. And it's so much fun to changed your direction with a click of the fingers.
     
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  6. DJ711
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    DJ711 Member

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    Sorry I've been MIA for a bit, but I wanted to say thank you so much for all the responses. I ended up talking about it with my girlfriend and explaining the rollercoaster that happens and the uncomfortable feeling of extreme dependency on her when I'm locked and how that feeling can change.

    Regarding texting throughout the day, it gets hard because she's a night shift nurse which means when one of us is awake the other is sleeping.

    But I'm very happy with we're we are right now and I guess the key is to take it one day at a time.
     
  7. rhodry04
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    rhodry04 Active member

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    That’s impressive... I don’t know if I could shift gears like that.. Also what an incredible woman to handle the role like that. Bravo!!!
     
  8. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    It's one of the things they get to do: If she's in charge, she can tell you she wants stuff taken care of, manly stuff. Go provide for your family. Go address that claim. Go sort out that hospital bill. And best of all, "fuck me like a man" :) if that's what she wants at the time.
     
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