Day 4

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by WEC, Sep 23, 2017.

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  1. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    This is where I start to struggle. (caged at work all week without wife knowing. O for both of us on Tuesday morning, and one for her last night) The delicious pain is starting to build. Where I struggle is to "act normal"...not be all over my wife, not too attentive, not too needy. And to still pay full attention to the kids. This was part of the problem last time I think. If my wife doesn't jump me I will try to make it to 7-10 days. I know many go way longer.
     
  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Sorry but I've been reading your situation lately and it sounds like you both love the effects, the only thing missing is her being aware of why you two are suddenly so happy.

    I suggest you keep it up and you're right about not taking it overboard. Eventually she will comment about your behavior and I suggest you suck it up and tell her that you had a little unorthodox help. Explain what you've been wearing. Let it go. If she asks about it explain it would be easier for you to keep chaste for you if you weren't tempted by the keys and that it would be a huge favor if she helped you out by holding them for you.

    This is about as vanilla friendly as it gets, she's free to say no, and she is free to say yes, and more importantly, it's out in the open. I doubt you want her to find out by accidentally touching your crotch or finding the device. Nothing will turn her off this more than feeling lied to or left out. She will wonder what other secrets you have, is this something you've been doing behind her back for a long time, or with someone else or online.

    If you two get a chance to talk about it, explain it's for you and not her. YOU like what it does to you, not you need this to be good for HER.

    Anyway just my two cents, just wanted to throw it out there cause I have seen others put it off and it turns into she catches them instead of open and honest request for some sexual fun.
     
  3. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    To Nic and Allen...Agreed I need to be more careful and get to telling her about it. I was thinking I need to make sure her mood change lasts, and frankly I want to try a Holy trainer because the CB has too many parts and I pinch myself putting it on. I appreciate your wise advice. But yea I need to find a way to communicate it soon. She was asking me about fantasies last night so maybe I will follow-up this week.
     
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  4. Queensbitch
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    Queensbitch Long term member

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    Being asked about fantasies is the perfect time to share that your fantasies are about her taking total control sexually.
    As for replacing the cb, why waste money on something she is not on board or even aware of yet.
    My opinion IF it needed replaced I would look into a Chinese knockoff as a temporary replacement. With intentions of going quality if it was to become seriously used.
    If I remember correctly showing my queen a at one on eBay was how I introduced it to her
     
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  5. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    To mind the expression. Stop Pussy Footing Around. She has asked about your fantasies so she's opened the door the question is are you going to slam the door on your own foot, or crotch, or are you going to walk through it. Communication is the most important aspect of any relationship. Listen to what Nicoftime said he's giving you great advice.

    As far as making her mood changes last. Good luck with that one. If you want your spouse to change and accept you locking yourself up. Than Love Honour and Respect her ,don't hide things from her. Communicate
     
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  6. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Keep in mind, we talked about Goddess worship and FLR last year and she had a hard time with it. If I am pussy footing around its because I value my marriage. Since then she's had a chance to be the slave and I think gotten bored of it. So maybe this is a good time, but don't assume I don't communicate with her.
     
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  7. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    Bringing up FLR is jumping way too far forward and I can see how it might have scared her off. You need to start out slowly. Get the chastity thing working or figured out then in time you can take the next step if she is interested. I think IMO it tends to scare vanilla women off when you jump in with both feet and throw all of this stuff at them all at once. I think baby steps is more appropriate. You also have to accept the fact that she may never be up for FLR. Some women might just never be interested. But to give you hope i think its important to remember power is corrupting. Anyone who gets a taste of power over someone else even if they don't see themselves as dominant can sometimes slip into the FLR over time.
     
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  8. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Yep i totally agree, went way too far plus she had never had the chance to get some of her fantasies out, and she was not ready for a long term thing. She was pretty repressed back then. We've made enormous progress since. Honestly our situation is not right for FLR nor do I want a completely FLR. Just want my woman to grow into her feminine power and use it more frequently. And she has / does sometimes.

    We have made progress this weekend on her career stuff. I have the open fantasy question from her and she knows that the next time we get kinky I want her to lead since I did for several months. I'm thinking something like this...

    "you asked this weekend about fantasies...the next time we "play" I would love to enhance the orgasm control component with a male chastity toy to which you hold the key, so that you truly control my pleasure. "

    I think she will go for that pretty easily. Honestly she might even get what she wants out of it from a cumming in her standpoint...because believe me every time she wants me to I surely will as hard as I can.
     
  9. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    yea I am not concerned about "security" of the device, for me its the feel and symbolism...if you have a suggestion for a comfortable, stealthy device that comes in a cheap version I am all ears! (Depending on the level of kinkiness, I've sometimes chosen to purchase our toys from sex toy sites rather than ebay and amazon just so that they are not in my permanent history!)
     
  10. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    We started out with me telling her I was sexually submissive and I didn't like making sexual decisions. I told her that I get turned on by turning her on. Told her I had bought a cage that locks on and wanted her to hold the keys to it. She said she would if I wanted.

    I am sure she googled the hell out of it, and the next thing you know, when we went to make love she crawled on top and said I should be on top from now on...and has been almost ever since minus a few times she said I was allowed...and usually letting me finish.

    After time and sending texts, memes, and pics from Tumblr to each other, she had done her homework and liked some of the aspects of femdom. She loved the idea of getting me to do more chores around the house and domestic service. She loved me desperate for her and achingly needing to give her footrubs etc. She loved administering spankings, she loved how confident it made her feel.

    So it went very quickly from her going along to changing her outlook on what turns her on. She has since openly told me that I will be locked forever and my only orgasms I have from now on are if she feels I deserve them. Pretty different from where we started.
     
  11. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Great, sexy story, thanks for sharing!

    My wife and i both work and have 3 kids. I am basically already our cook and we split the chores...sadly as of yet I can't use chores as a bargaining chip because I already do a lot and she wants to do her share. But, we will find our thing over time. She does like foot rubs, letting me groom / shave her, etc. I almost got a chance to shave her legs this weekend....argh if not for the kids. I've taken her to a hotel in the past and given her a full mani-pedi and then serviced her while it dried. I'm off on a tangent but that's a good one to think back on. :)

    Seriously love your story, thanks for sharing.
     
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  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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  13. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    My apologies if I offended you that was not my intention. My point was more that when you hide things from your spouse especially sexually related it can cause a lot of tension when she does find out. I've learnt over the years to not keep anything from my spouse and our relationship was strengthened because of it.
     
  14. Queensbitch
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    Queensbitch Long term member

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    Second @Nicoftime suggestion on device. I started with a CB device when my wife was at the stage of experimenting with a device. Once we ordered the jailbird is when she started liking the way it looked. She enjoys being able to reach through the bars with her finger tip. She says that the metal device looks like a nice piece of jewelry.
     
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  15. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    I don't disagree, all good. I just don't want to turn her career crisis into a discussion about my fetishes right now. We'll get there soon, had a good weekend...which...we both needed.
     
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  16. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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  17. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    @WEC sounds like you have a great attitude. I wish you guys luck and keep us informed as things progress.
     
  19. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    I was re-thinking my responses to these posts and thought I would share an anecdote. I have a bit of a fetish for hands and nicely manicured long nails. An FBI raid of my computer might turn up some files and sites about it. Well one week probably 10 years ago at this point, I think before we were married, I went on a business trip and did not lock my computer. When I came back my wife was sporting some a nice manicure and when she noticed me checking it out she says..."what are you doing?"...she explained that she went through my files while I was away, thought I was weird for having pictures of women with "claws"...and called me a "sick puppy". And to this day most Friday afternoons I get an email asking "what color?"...referring to how I would like her long nails painted, these days usually includes some cool design. Frankly, its how lucky I am to have her that led me to realize I was not treating her well enough and reconsider ways to be better...like chastity. Whew...lot of stuff in my head eh! -WEC
     
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  20. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    1. I have this problem where I don't state the point...if my wife finds me hiding a chastity device that she doesn't know about...there is a pretty good chance I'll be locked in it by the end of the week :)
     
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  21. sissybitch
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    sissybitch Long term member

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    plastic/ resin v steel devices , steel all the way, night and day difference , the device suggested by @Nicoftime and worn by @Mash2214 is good , use the same one myself , for the price I can 100% recommend it
     
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  22. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    I started on CB like many people. It's ni ce to start with as you can experience with it and learn about sizing yourself properly.

    Then I got a Holy Trainer. It's very comfy, a great device over all. But I'm a little big, and also uncut. So the cage is not long enough and too closed off.

    Then I moved to Mature Metal. I had have a Watchful mistress that's a little too big, and a pet trap that's perfect. As still use it often. But ultimately, I find metal too heavy for 24/7.

    So I went custom plastic:

    I got an evotion which was a misfire. I don't like that device for many reasons.

    The latest one is a ghost from custom Chastity, and so far, I love it! The first plastic device, after 6 years of Chastity, that fits my size, and works with the fact I'm uncut :)
     
  23. Metalman
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    Metalman Long term member

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    As for telling your partner, I agree with not mentioning any advance Chastity things you read on this website.

    Chastity is viewed as a pretty intense Kink. And I wondered why, as really it is not that crazy, if you think about it. So I started wondering...

    My conclusion, is that Chastity goes against the values and narrative of our society about boys and girls. Especially boys. And people start being suspicious and scared when you don't behave according to society's conditioning.

    If you present all the aspect of advanced Chastity, you're not a boy anymore in the way society is expecting you to be. So what are you? Gay? A transgender? A pervert? :eek:
    I think many woman would panic because of that.

    When I present Chastity to people now a day, I explain that I think instant gratification is cheap and un satisfying, and that teasing, build up, and delayed gratification, are far more fun to me. And then, it's fun to let the woman of your dream do the teasing etc...
    People understand that really well :)

    I generally leave the cage aspect for later. But once the concept of sex game is established, the all scary weird looking cage becomes just a cute pink sex toy :oops:

    Once a woman holds the keys, if you don't act like a jerk, she will learn the job on her own just fine, and make it work for her :rolleyes:
     
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  24. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    "if you don't act like a jerk"...that's the "Key" isn't it!
     
  25. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Had a great talk with my wife last night about male sexuality, living with constant desire, how its hard for the nice me and the aggressive me to coexist sometimes, how I hate and I'm sorry that I can be so good for 6 weeks then "screw up" and have a blow up. We cuddled like crazy last night and this morning. She offered to make love to me. So far I'm sticking to cuddling. I feel pretty good today. She was a little bossy and critical of me this morning and I breezed through it...wish that was always the case...today I just found it sexy. :rolleyes: Holy Trainer knock-off arrives today. Have to make sure I'M the one that gets to it first!
     
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