cynthia's triumphs and tragedies

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by cynthia_deville, Apr 24, 2010.

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  1. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    Just a few quick notes as i have a very full day tomorrow and need to get to sleep. i arrived safely, although i almost ended up serving the neighbors. (Blame the gps)

    Mistress Rob is everything and more of what i expected. The evening went fairly well, but still those pesky lessons that need to be learned. The first i knew before i arrived and am hoping it was cured this evening. Listen more and talk way less. Will share the details later, but very disappointed in myself and do not wish to experience that again. My own fault and just need to lose myself in my submission and understand why i am here.

    A lot of unknowns still and having to work on the confidence a bit. Overall i think not a bad first day.

    Thank You Mistress Rob for the guidance and i am really sorry You had to correct me so early in the visit. i will continue to grow each day.

    cynthia

    ps, i will share the day in more detail tomorrow if time permirts
     
  2. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    cynthia's triumphs and tragedies

    Glad to hear you had a safe trip.

    Cynthia my dear there will be many more of each. Enjoy the triumphs and learn from the tragedies. As you learn there will be far less of the latter then your confidence will grow. Ms Rob has a heart of gold if you want to know how i can say that go back to the begining of my rachels trip thread and read the baked bean story. i have had my share of trials and tribulations just remember you are only corrected so you can serve better. My only wish for you is that all 3 of you develop a bond as strong as the one Mistress Michelle, rick and i have. Keep your chin up sweety.

    your friend
    rachel
     
  3. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    :happy0120: As rachel said i'm glad you made it safely and i know that was a nerve racking trip with sooooo much on you're mind,meeting you're Mistress for the first time in person was one of the scarest things i have ever done and made many mistakes still do at times but i'm working on that as i'm sure you will also ,see you soon and behave ,i know you're genuine :chores004:
     
  4. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    Glad to here the trip went well. Beside the GPS problems and the neighbors, heck it might work out also, Mistress might have you serving them soon too. Sure hope you find you pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. At least your willing to make the journey. But if you do find the gold, send me the waypoint, I could use some new heels..

    Good luck and give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it!!

    Missy Tanya
     
  5. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    cynthia...
    I was so delighted to speak with you last night, even though you didnt have too much to say LOL, you must have been worried about that gag being used again! Anyway, I am happy you arrived safely and I am sure you will have lots of storys to tell. Cant wait to come up Wed, I've missed Rob and riki and am so happy they have found a girl to serve them!

    Also very happy to see this thread in the Vault, hope you intend to keep it up!

    Mistress Michelle
     
  6. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    cleaning day

    Monday is already upon me and i have a huge task ahead of me in preparation of Mistress Michelle visiting on wednesday. i have gotten a few things done along the way which should prove invaluable in getting the things done before Mistress Robs and my girls day on tuesday. It has been a real joy to this point, nerve wracking a bit, but that is just to be expected. so i am spring cleaning the kitchen and bathroom tomorrow and cutting the grass. should be an eventful day.

    Got to spend some time at the country home today and felt very priviliged to have this shared with me. i can not tell You how truly touched i stay. this has been a journey i do not regret taking and am ever hopeful that i make it one last time this summer when i complete school in new york and come to serve permanently.

    to answer the questions. @Mistress Michelle, yes it was a great honor to speak with You and i apologize if i was a bit less than talkative, but i did not want the gag to go back in for talking too much. Yes there are stories to be told. i have experienced the tens unit, but prefer to let Mistress tell the tale. i will say that it was maxed out fairly early. and that damn giggling, god i so hate that i giggle, but not too worry, the paddle made the giggles go away. i was so thankful of that, felt so disrespectful, but could not control it, think it is some sort of defense reflex or something you know laugh or cry sort of thing.

    @Tanya, thanks, but not looking for any pot of gold, and if i did find it, it would belong to Mistress anyway. thanks for the well wishes.

    @susie, thanks and will see you wednesday. looking forward to it, and just think it will two of us girls that are not allowed a beer lol. i am quite happy btw and looking forward to it.

    @rachel, thank your for sharing that with me and hope i don't experience that too often. felt like a scolded child and i so deserved it.

    Thank Y/you all for the well wishes and yes Mistress Michelle, i will keep the lighter side of my life serving Mistress Rob and riki here in the forum. i will still maintain my blog as it truly helps me to focus and understand what i have commited to and the joy that i feel. Y/you all have been great friends and i do not for a minute regret my decision to come here.

    long day tomorrow, so time for this girl to get her beauty sleep. Mistress wants me to not look like a boy when She awakes tomorrow morning.

    cynthia
     
  7. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    cynthia...I know you are having the time of your life. Make sure you take the time to enjoy it and remember it because the memories will be what keeps you happy until your next trip down in the summer.
    I read your blog this morning, and I know how hard it can be to get used to a new enviorment, like in the kitchen, getting used to and learning everything.
    Thats one of the things that I have always enjoyed with My properties, rachel, susie, little pet, tom ect... they all had to get used to where things are, and how I like things done and have done quite well in learning that. rachel especially because she spends ALOT of time in the kitchen, she prepares all the meals and does all the shopping and cleaning when shes here.
    Its so nice when you get to that point because I no longer have to ask...what are you doing? I know, that they know, what they should be doing!

    Looking forward to Wed!!!

    Mistress Michelle
     
  8. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    It's already wednesday at 3 am and a little fretful this morning. Mistress Michelle, pet, and suzy are visiting today. A lot yet to be done before they arrive, but feel like all will be fine. Really looking forward to meeting all of them and have pretty well mapped out my day to make sure all is complete. Worked till past ten last evening in the kitchen and came to a good stopping point. Probably another four to five hours today and will be complete. All the little things that seem to suck time, but feel so much better when finished.

    The nervous giggle seems to be thankfully gone. i was pretty sure that it was just that and really frustrated me and ruined Mistresses enjoyment when She used the tens a few evenings ago. Really a shame because although not flopping around like a fish, the wave patterns had some very interesting textures to them and i am sure my facial expression would tell a different story altogether.

    Clover clamps yesterday definitely took my breath and made cleaning windows interesting. Of course after twenty minutes i was given the option to remove them, or have them removed. i took them off quickly as there is no real other way and Mistress watched. It is a searing white heat but not totally unbearable. Then having to rub them to encourage the blood to return. Again taking my breath momentarily. The giggle didn't show back up thankfully and i so hope Mistress took some delight in my suffering. i really am not a pain slut,..

    Yersterday was a special day. A girls Day in Beckley. Mistress had a test that She was required to take for entrance into a Her degree program, of which She scored in the 95th percentile and the smile that She had when She emerged was priceless. It really made the rest of the outing special. i too had my own things to take care of. While Mistress was paying for Her test and then proceeding to the testing center at Mountain State University, i walked downtown to visit Beckley Beauty Academy to ask my own questions. i will have to attend for an additional 1000 hours of training in cosmetology prior to being able to take the state board and get my license in West Virginia. i will say i was less than impressed with the school, at least with the administrator. Unfortunately i was unable to interview either of the two master instructors to put some of my fears to rest. i did discover that when i go to the state board that i will be tested practically on all four areas, manicures, pedicures, facials, and hair. i take this with a grain of salt as i really did not leave with the impression that the administrator was up on what happened when i go take the board. i am ever hopeful that the impression will change once i startt and meet the instructional staff. i left with the impression that i will have to demand the attention to ensure that i am ready to go to the board. Not that it is a bad thing, but a bit disconcerting, especially for a submissive. All that much easier knowing my employment is a condition that needs to be met in order for me to stay here in the future.

    i wore a long, tan, sleeveless buttun down dress that Mistress had puechased for me, really cute and as Mistress Rob says, should fit beautifully with another 10 pounds of weightloss. i decided to weat a cute pair of black flats i had never worn with it. Bad decision, and there was a reason they had stayed in my closet, the heels are stiff and dug into my foot. Mistress took care of this as well as we went shopping for a dress for Mayday celebration on saturday. i ended up with a beautiful long, blue (tie died look), short sleeved dress that fits the occasion and a pair of blue sandles. Which i wore for the rest of the trip. A few more stores and then a wonderful lunch at a place called Tamarac where several artisans display their craft. i had never been in the building, but had spent many an evening sleeping in the parking lot attached when i had driven over the road in my past life. i did not linger on that thought long as it is something i do not miss. Then of course the hour trip back home listening to the Eurythmics and Jackson Browne. Overall a wonderfull day and well worth the late evening and early morning getting ready for Mistress Michelle's visit. i do have a nice meal planned and will run it by Mistress this morning before She goes off to work.

    A very good day and i thank You Mistress for the beautiful dress, shoes, and delightful meal. i will cherish the girl time and appreciate the glimpse into another side of You. Your passion for excellence is incredible and i so appreciate your showing that to me. You reinforce the reason i am here to begin with and i feel like the commitment is even stronger. Thank You for a wonderful day.

    cynthia
     
  9. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    the visit

    Mistress Michelle has come and gone and i live to tell the tale. i am no play by play announcer, nor have the flair for the dramatic like rachel. It was a wonderful time actually and a real treat to be able to meet Mistress Michelle and pet. Great down to earth people with two goats, a bunch of chickens and a kink. She is as genuine as i had imagined and can understand why so many love Her so. Mistress Rob had a gleem in Her eye when shey returned home and i enjoyed Her excitement for the evening and a time for Her and riki to catch up with old friends. To even be a minor part of this reunion was an honor for me.

    i spent most of the time in the kitchen trying to be as unobtrusive as possible. Preparing dinner and generally staying out of the way. i did get to visit with suzie which was a treat, but i feel like she felt like a square peg in a round hole as i pretty much had everything under control. Mistress Rob demonstrated my bell, unfortunately i was not privy to the ensuing conversation, but some how io ended up with Misteress Michelle's shock collar around my ankle in lieu of the bell. Have i mentioned that i am frightened to death by electricity. So a very trying time to remain calm and the jolts were no fun either, especially when i was on the floor in the cabinet with pots and pans when i was beckoned and ended up banging a few things trying to avoid another shock. i am at least glad that i provided some form of entertainment at my expense. The collar was very tight on my ankle and caused me to walk with a limp. i was only too glad to get it off, even if it meant a visit with the infamous bench.

    i prepared a dinner of tropical chicken over rice, steamed cauliflower and broccoli, and a fresh salad made with romaine lettuce and loads of fresh veggies. They all seemed to like it and i was ever relieved it didn't flop as it was a new recipe for me. What was i thinking trying something new on Mistress and Her special guests.

    The bench, all i can say is that i didn't giggle, quite the opposite and was left bawling and in tears. The tens unit was not ticklish by any stretch of the imagination. Did i mention that i am frightened to death of electricity? New batteries seemed to do the trick and it was nearly white hot in its bite. The paddle was nothing compared to the tens and something i will always be frightened of. i am looking forward to seeing my name on the paddle of Mistress Michelle that so many others have appeared. Next time i see Her perhaps i can admire it in its place. Like i have said before, i will not share a lot of the particulars, but will share feelings. i am glad i provided a bit of amusement and am so very proud to serve Mistress Rob and riki. The moments when i am doing those things that a maid is expected to do and no expectations of anything more.

    i was glad to have things back to "normal" this morning and able to focus on why i am here in the first place. Making Mistress Rob's and riki's life just a little bit better...

    cynthia
     
  10. catherine_ts
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    catherine_ts Member

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    Hi cynthia,

    it seems as if you have had a very busy week indeed.I have read all of your posts and all I can think his that I still have so much to learn loll.I guess that I'll stop saying that my own Mistress his strict loll.

    I'm very happy that you have finally found what you have been looking for.

    your sister in service

    catherine
    xxxx
     
  11. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Cynthia my dear,

    i will take that as a compliment from someone i have much respect for. Just write what you feel and don't worry about how you tell your tale and it will be enjoyed by all who take a minute of their day to read it. If we all wrote, spoke, talked and acted the same the world would become a very boring in short order.

    i am glad your evening went off without a hitch, save for when you got zapped. That zap that comes out of nowhere will defiantely put a hitch in your giddy up. i have had that shock collar on myself and while not afraid of electricty i do despise that thing. i hate even having to put it on as you cannot relax from the moment it is strapped around your ankle until it is removed. At least with the Tens unit you can get some pleasure with your pain. There is NO pleasure in the shock collar. i am so glad you got to experience the bench so many of us have been strapped in not to mention it is also a beautiful to look at before it goes to work. Hummm sounds kinda like the owner Mistress Michelle.

    i only wish i could have been there and i am now longing more then ever for July to just hurry up and get here.

    Your Friend
    Rachel
     
  12. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    i am home and have an opportunity to reflect on a wonderful trip. A working vacation of sorts if you can can it that. A busy week that proved very fruitful indeed. i have had time to breathe finally and fully realize how wonderful the last nine days have been. i have seen that gamut of emotions, from pain to utter elation. The hurt of disappointing Those i serve to hearing the words of praise for some of the work i did while there. All along, i gave all that is within me as i know no other way.

    i ended my trip on my knees if front of the very Goddess that opened Her home to me, receiving instructions of the expectations for the coming months as i return to school today to complete the course. The collar was reattached and its cold steel offering the comfort of knowing that at least for now, i belong.

    i will continue to share the lighter side of my submissive life here, as i journey ever forward along the continuum.

    Thank all of you for your continued support.

    @rachel sorry dear it took so long to return your reply and i treasure your words. i will not say any more about the collars, as yes i am frightened to death of electricity, despite working with it for nearly 20 years. i know Mistress Michelle was amused and i can take solace in that at least one of us were laughing.

    Your friend

    cynthia
     
  13. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    :girl_curtsey: I'm glad you made it home safely and enjoyed you're nine days of bliss ,the next few months will pass quickly i'm sure and you can be back where you belong,but speaking of collars i spoke with MM about shocking while cooking and what a bad idea that is as someone could get really hurt and she agrees so no worries on that anymore ,now afterwards hmmmmmm lol ,i got the double dose this week but survived ,i'm leaving tomorrow and will tty then sweetie
     
  14. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    i can not believe it has been three weeks since i paid any attention to this. Today school is closed because they have turned the power off in order to connect to a building that was being renovated next door. i have been to the dentist and the good news is he was able to rebuild the tooth. Two shots of Novocaine, maybe i have mentioned that i hate needles and am a big baby when it comes to that. they are right up there with electricity. i just close my eyes and think thoughts of anything nice. this time i pictured peering out of Mistresses kitchen window looking at the garden and the birds playing. it was a serene moment, but did not make the needle pinch any less.

    Life continues to move forward and in two months time i will be back serving Mistress Rob and riki. As rachel puts it, back where i belong...i am looking forward to that time and even the hour drive each to and from school each day this fall. i have not allowed my self to dwell often on returning as it is a ways off yet, but time passes so quickly.

    i have some busy days ahead of me here. There is going to be a golf tournament benefiting my friend Lindsy and help offset some of the medical costs that have been piling up for her mom and dad. i asked her dad yesterday if i was going to be allowed to play from the ladies tee's and therefore eliminating the possibility of exposing my knickers. Those of you who golf know what i am talking about and for those who do not when a man hits a tee shot that does not make it past the ladies tee it is expected for him to drop his trousers/shorts and show that he still has a pair. Looking forward to hitting the links one more time and will be playing with my friend Jen and her sister and we still need to find a forth, but i can guarantee it will be a fun day and i will be sure to add pictures. now i need to find a golf skirt or skort, the the goodwill ought to have something that is appropriate.

    Not much to report, life is good and i continue to grow each day...

    cynthia
     
  15. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Cynthia my friend i hope you have a wonderful time golfing. It has been about 7 years since i was out, sometimes i miss it but most often not. i wish i could come and join you what better way to get to know one another then playing around, oh wait i guess that should be playing a round.LOL. i hope the weather is beautiful for your day on the links.

    Imagine that you quoting me. Coming from someone i think so highly of and have much respect for that is a compliment of the highest form.

    Your Friend
    Rachel
     
  16. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    hormonal

    it is official, i am now hormonal. As i told the girls in school, the difference between me and them besides not being able to have a monthly is that i get to be bitchy one week of the month, but i get to choose which week...

    cynthia
     
  17. mikecb
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    mikecb Member

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    Congratulations :)
     
  18. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    :Tulip_Up: Way to go GIRL!!!!!!
     
  19. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    public transport

    i have been on a trip to southeast missouri that began at 745 last evening. i think nothing about being out until 3 am this morning and i needed to use the rest room at the Cleveland OH bus terminal. It had probably been mentioned that i still use the mens room as i am still legally male. It was disgusting and creepy feeling all at the same time. i felt like i needed to be wearing a condom to keep from catching something. That would have been counter productive.

    i got past my fears and after half a roll of TP felt like i was reasonably safe to sit. i tend to gorget that i still have male plumbing mst of the time otherwise this might have been avoided. Any way i survived the public rest room experience without getting ass raped or catching anything. Mens rooms can be pretty scary for a gurl.

    Now i am on the bus heading for st louis and the woman sitting next to me needed to purchase two tickets. Maybe i should ask for a refund seeing that i involuntarily gave up half my seat. Oh well i guess it's the submissive in me.

    Rachel dear, you should try this sometime. A one way trip on public transport. Bet you would find it difficult to make use of the coffee can.

    That's all for now.

    A skinnier cynthua from the greyhound diet plan...

    cynthia
     
  20. Rachel
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    Rachel Owned by Mistress Michelle

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    Funny my friend very funny. i could have used it in the men's room:pee: though and saved a couple trees, lol. NOTE to self: When taking a long bus trip pack a fresh can of scrubbing bubbles.

    Your friend
    Rachel
     
  21. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    Slightly bigger,

    An interesting day today. i am nearly two weeks into this great social experiment of hormones and one of the girls commented that she thought my chest area was slightly enlarged. A bit embarrassing actually as i do not wear a bra from monday through thursday because of rerstrictions that have been placed on me. Apparently i should now at least be wearing a cami top or a sports bra under my blouses for the time being. i will say that i too have noticed a slight change and i am a little bigger there. Welcome to puberty all over again...

    i have acquired a bit of a mentor as well in the senior instructor who has agreed to go cosmetic shopping with me for a few minor items as it is far too warm to be wearing foundation without it melting off my face. Just some subtle touches to go with my normal eye makeup. Time for another haircut as well, will share pics after it has been completed and the roots redone.

    cynthia

     
  22. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    Ahhhhhh.....How sweet, time for cynthias first bra!! The little girl is growing up before ours eyes!!

    Looking forward to seeing your new haircut cynthia. And I know what you mean about the foundation, I cant even keep lotion on My face its so hot!!

    Mistress Michelle
     
  23. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    Mistaken identity:

    Today i collected my birthday gift from the local casino. $5 and a lottery ticket. Not bad considering i had to go to the dentist just around the corner and so did not travel out of my way.
    when i finally got to the head of the line, the woman said to me that it was for, "name of the card," and i had to get out some form of identification which really did not help much either as none of the forms of id that i have look like me any more. It took me a few minutes to convince the lady that i was that person and have not changed the name yet. It was really kind of nice as this seems to happen more and more frequently these days. I have discovered that i do confuse several people now, sort of a tweener so to speak. i love the little nudges that life provides that tell me i am on the right path and continue to take on an ever increasing feminine persona i am not smug about it, but confident in who i am and who i project myself to be...

    cynthia
     
  24. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    Compliments and refusals

    Today was an interesting day. i have my first ever client refusal of service today. i will admit that it hurt a bit, but i also understand that it comes with the territory. A gentleman in a wheelchair came in for a haircut and hi-lite. When i went to go get him after i prepared my work space. i introduced myself and asked if he was ready. He replied no and then wheeled up to the desk to talk to our senior instructor. i felt small in a way, and what was worse was the thought of a man in a wheel chair being prejudice. i do not encounter this sort of behavior often, but there are times when there are those that are afraid of something different. The feedback was that he was a total jerk and he really treated the girl who cut his hair poorly. The instructional staff concurred and stated that he was not very hygienic, go figure, he is in a wheel chair. He was miserable and made those that worked with him miserable as well. i am sure it won't be the last, but finally i got to feel what it felt like to be rejected.

    On a positive note, there are always positives that can be found, i had a wonderful day. It was friday which meant that i got to wear a dress, YAY! i wore the blue dress that Mistress had purchased for MAY DAY. Many compliments about the dress and the lighter hair as well. i have not had it cut yet, but am combing it different and also drying it differently as well. i am such a girl at times and the things we do to look pretty at times are incredible. i tried drying my hair with my head upside down this morning to try and give it some more boost. i let the natural curl take over in the back as well and like the look. The ability to change our look with a bit of hair spray, clothes and makeup is one of the most fun things about being female. Of course i get to throw in being hormonal as well now, LOL.

    i had an appointment with my therapist today as i do each month and one of her first comments was that i was much more feminine than now than i was three months ago when we met. WOW, a compliment i was not expecting. The social worker at the VA concurred and had to do a double take before she realized who i was. It feels so good to be complimented on my appearance, i work hard at it and am ever improving. The next compliment and probably the greatest came wheni returned to school and the junior instructor took a good look. She does not necessarily agree with what i am doing but she said, "as much as i hate to admit it, you look really good." She likes me as a person and i think she is warming to the process i am going through as well. i have received many compliments from the girls about my make up and it does help boost the confidence.

    Over all a great day and one i will remember for awhile. i refuse to let those that are close minded wreck my day...

    cynthia
     
  25. cynthia_deville
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    cynthia_deville Mistress Rob's slave

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    pink or purple...

    An interesting day yesterday at the school. Nearly half of the normal night time girls were out and so i got thrown right into the mix and had to do a perm first thing. She had really short, fine hair on top and long hair down the sides. My instructions were to put blue rods on the top and then alternate between pink and gray down the sides. The top was difficult enough as the hair was barely over an inch and a half long and took some work to figure hoe to get the end wrapper on the hair and then curl it. After a few demonstrations by the instructor, i struggled along slowly. The to the sides and alternating pink and gray rods. i got nearly halfway done with the head when the instructor stopped and said she had to stop me as the "pink" rods were purple. They looked pink to me, they were the same color as this text, purple is the color of the hearts on my signature on the bottom of this entry. The pink rods were more salmon colored than anything else. i had to unwrap and start again, ughh. The lady was a pro at getting perms and i must have heard at least 10 times how it was not how it was done last time. We changed a few things because her perms in the past had fallen out rather quickly and our aim was to make this one last longer. My rods were not as neat as the ones the instructor put in on the other side of the head to assist me and led to questions if it would come out different. Go figure 18 years of experience versus this being my third perm ever. i felt very belittled and the instructor reassured the client it would come out so long as "all" of the hair was in rods. i do very thorough work and was a bit offended, but i should not have been really as i am verynew at this. The perm came out great and i survived the belittling. It probably did not help that i was in full makeup, an ankle length skirt, pink short sleeved blouse and breast forms under to assist my slowly developing breasts.

    The day ended with me doing a hairstyle for a girl attending the local highschool prom. It was a bit of a tough style as she wanted bangs left in the front, then a braid head band just in front of the ears and then cascading curls all in the back withhalf or them put up. It took nearly an hour and a half to do the braid, the loads of curls using a small 1/2 inch curling iron and then to put half of them up. She was beautiful and a lot of fun, but i have so much yet to learn. i keep adding to the list the things i wish to work on while having to attend an additional 1000 hours of school in West Virginia and up do's have made it to the list.

    i got to spend about an hour and a half chatting with Riki in the early evening and was very grateful for the time. It is very difficult to be seperated like this and i felt a lot closer after our chat. One never forgets, but it helps to be reminded on occasion. A good week overall and one that will be remembered for awhile. i love what i am learning and now to build the confidence and knowledge base i will need to be successful.

    cynthia
     
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