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Curious about how you met your bull(s).

Discussion in 'Cuckolding' started by chasteta, Nov 30, 2017.

  1. My girlfriend/keyholder and I have been talking for a bit now about her having other partners. At the moment it remains a fantasy for us to talk about during sex but we also have a genuine interest in reintroducing it into our relationship.

    I say reintroducing because we used to have something like a bull, before either of us really knew what cuckolding was. A few years ago she had what was essentially a FWB. He was a man who we'd had a threesome with and who she later confessed feelings for. After some thought I surprised myself by how okay I was with the idea of her having romantic feelings toward others. I eventually gave my consent for her to see him without me.

    We both found that we really enjoyed the dynamic it created. At the time we were already into femdom and just starting our exploration of orgasm denial (chastity had never been mentioned). When they were together I'd text her asking to masturbate and get a response like "yes, but only if you think of us together". Eventually she told me that she felt a love for him like she felt for me. And again I surprised myself with how okay I was with that.

    Unfortunately it didn't end well. We'll probably never be sure but this is what we've pieced together: He had a girlfriend who was aware of the sexual interactions between them (we would not have been okay with this if she wasn't explicitly told). We're guessing that when it crossed into romantic territory he was not honest with her like she was with me. We also guess that at some point much after the fact it came up. We know his relationship very abruptly starting going downhill and he started to lash out at us. After some time of this we had to tell him to stop contacting us and cut off communication.

    Since then I've been her only partner. We want to get back into it but she's pretty put off by casual sex and isn't really interested in partners without an emotional connection. So right now we're looking for someone who we can consider first and foremost a friend, but who can also fulfill the role of a bull. And, for what it's worth, the gender of our bull isn't so important as the dynamic. To simplify all this greatly, and we've discussed this, what we want is for her to have another boy/girl-friend, who's comfortable being sexually dominant over me (and maybe her) but emotionally equal.

    So I'm not sure where to go. I feel like what we want out of someone is a tremendous amount to ask, especially from someone you might have just met on Tinder. Our local kink club is closed for the time being or that might be a decent place to start. There is always FetLife, but her previous experiences with online dating leave us cautious at best. And then there is a constant worry I have. Are we simply asking too much of another person?

    So to go back to the original point, if you're someone in a relationship involving a bull, how did you meet them?
  2. I can’t speak from experience, but I would imagine the relationship you are looking for needs to be built, and not sorted. Meaning you require intimacy and friendship that will not just happen over an online profile.

    The internet could be a helpful tool finding a friend that may become who you’re looking for. I guess what I’m saying is that I wouldn’t look for someone to be your bull and hope he will be a companion. I would look for a companion and friend that may become a bull.

    Hang out together, be friends, flirt, have fun, talk about your relationship and what you two are looking for. If you troll for someone to nail your wife, that might be all they are interested in, and let’s face it, it’s probably not too difficult for her to find someone to fool around with, it’s the relationship and friendship that would be hard to find. I suggest you look for that first.
    SubSnuggler likes this.
  3. Wow. I dont know man, that would make me very nervous. Your not married, and she wants an emotional connection with another guy. Dont get me wrong, im not telling you what to do but that could end badly for you as it seems most cuckold relationships do. If it works out thats great but she really doesn't have any strong ties to you other than her feelings for you. But you'll have to take my opinion with a grain of salt as i'm the extremely jealous type.
  4. Thanks I think that's a solid way to approach it. It's difficult to start without some sort of sexual undertones though, I don't really feel comfortable propositioning random friends into sex. :p Perhaps we could look online and explain to people in greater detail about what we're looking for, then gauge their reaction from there.

    I appreciate the candid advice! That being said we're pretty practical and consider ourselves married for all intents and purposes. At the risk of sounding like a new age hipster, neither of feels very strongly about putting a label on our relationship, or tying ourselves together financially. We might be buying a house soon and have discussed getting married if it makes that easier. So for us marriage is viewed as a practicality rather than a symbol of devotion, since we already feel the latter.

    I don't know though, on the other hand you could be totally right since we're playing with emotions here and emotions can be fickle and strange. All I have to go off of is that last time she told me she loved someone else like she loved me I was okay with it an I never worried about her leaving me.
  5. I just know I've heard the same thing from other couples and then some time later it ends. Not saying that would happen, but yes I am very cautionary lol. You know your relationship better than anyone and certainly more so than me. So I wish you luck no matter what you decide.
    chasteta likes this.
  6. So I've never been cuckolded so I can't speak from personal experience but cuckolding is something I've thought about often because i like the idea of the dynamic. like your wife, my mistress can't have casual/planned sex. There needs to be an intimate emotional bond for her to feel comfortable and safe and turned on. Although I'd love to have my mistress choose sexual partners at her discretion if she so chose I know it's not feasible because she would need to develop emotional and loving feelings for the person she would assumably be having sex with for it to be good for her. This would cause me much distress because I would constantly feel and wonder if her chosen partner is better than me and if her feelings ever became so strong for this other individual that she would want to leave me for them.

    If it were just casual sex I would have no concerns but from what you described there would be need for "strings" in order for your wife to feel right in bed with another individual. If you continue with cuckolding in this manner I imagine you will run into emotional issues from either your wife or her assumed partner as there relationship develops further. Someone is bound to get hurt in this dynamic and it may not be good for your overall relationship. Just my honest opinion, obviously there are other factors that I don't know about your relationship but to me it sounds like a big risk.

    Personally I wouldn't want my mistress to fall in love with another man and possibly be torn between us.
  7. Finding the right person is the #1 top priority in what you are looking for. For us it was different than most here I bet. My wifes bull or stallion as she calls him well in my yoinger days while exploring sex and inner feeling he was at that time my partner/lover for a long time kind if where I developed a thing for cock, cum, anal, to mention a few. Some how he and I reconnected as partners the wife at the time being understanding let things happen with one stipulation that she could observe. Well with that said the cage came in to curb my masturbating and the next thing I knew I was cuckold and my wife and now my mistress is being sexually fulfilled by a 10" monster.