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Cuckold and a open relationship?

Discussion in 'Cuckolding' started by MistressDee, Jul 24, 2016.


For or against an open relationship

  1. For

  2. Against

  1. My partner and i have given cuckold a lot of thought recently as we get deeper into our fantasies. We have laid out scenarios and situations that we think would happen and try to think how we would react and behave to it.

    I am not opposed to the idea of a cuckold situation, as i think it would really turn me on knowing that he has to sit there and watch me get pleasure from another man. I even thought of the idea to make him almost cuckold me, and have sex with another man.
    Has anyone else been in this situation where they have thought that would be something they would have been turned on by?

    We have also discussed along the lines of having an open relationship, in the way of me being able to have sex or some relationship with another man (not becoming boyfriend and girlfriend, just fuck buddies), seen my boyfriend will not be able to give me any physical pleasure, while he is in his chastity. Is there anyone who can give me any advice on having an open relationship, whether you have tried it before, or had thoughts/conversations about the idea, and how it all went! Really interested to know how a open relationship works out for couples.

    We have said that if we tried an open relationship and it wasn't what we thought it would be like or we didn't like it, we would stop, but he is worried that we wont be able to get ourselves back on track to how we used to be.

    Advice would be really appreciated, thanks!
  2. I'd say for.
    Relationship norms are evolving more and more these days and are accepted just as much.

    My wife is not interested in cuckolding or having an open relationship but we have children so this could also be a factor in her decision & the country we live in was very Catholic influenced and in some ways it still is just not as much anymore.

    We stick to role play with toys and that's fine with me.
  3. I think that I read that a couple were having an open marriage and where the husband is still in his chastity belt, so she can meet anyone she wants and do what she wants and he could meet other women but could not have sex with her .
    Joroincharge likes this.
  4. The idea of cuckolding has always been a big turn on for me and actually was one of the reasons that prompted me to ask my mistress to lock me in chastity. However, for us I don't think it would be very healthy for our relationship. I'm a very open to most things person but once you do something like cuckolding you can never go back to the way things were before. The cuckolding will always be a hash mark in your relationship whether you decide to continue it or not.

    If you are really 19, now might be the time to experiment but unless your sub is truly submissive to you this might cause some waves in your relationship even if he says okay with it. You really won't know how you're going to react until you go through with and you have to ask yourself is that worth the risk. It seems a lot of people I've read about cuckolding usually have some past history of being swingers or something like that to where they were already mentally prepared, or at least the male is mentally prepared to watch someone be with his mistress and be okay that he isn't going to get any action himself.

    Just beware that even though you guys have discussed scenarios and whatnot it could be a relationship ender and you have to be willing to take that risk.
  5. If I had any advice to give other then Lockedwithlove it would be to look into going to a swingers club with out actually participating in having sex with anyone other then maybe your significant other. By going to the club you will get everything sexually charged up and you will want to act on those feeling (but don't the first few times) ... this will definitely get you partner teased up and interested.

    Once you have visited a few times and got the feel for it, then try some heavy petting / making out / sensual massage (with no penetration orally or otherwise) for you and nothing for him (ideally at this point he should be wearing his cage when you go to the club and others should be made aware of this in some way) ...

    All of this should take place over the course of at least 4 - 6 months. If at this point your relationship is surviving it and you are both still interested in pursuing the open / cuckold lifestyle then make the next step ... but if it is not something that you are still comfortable with, you have not gone so far as to make the relationship tarnished beyond saving.

    There is a fine line between fantasy and reality ... and it takes GREAT communication to go to the edge of reality and make it work.
    Alpha_Bird, Zeb6 and seasoned like this.
  6. I always try to tell people to go slow, but it can work. I have cuckolded hubby for over 13 years off and on. I have had numerous lovers, some I have seen just once and some that have lasted for over a year. The most important thing is to make it something you enjoy and keep emotional ties out of it. Most of the time I have had to break things off because the guy has also wanted to start "dating". Visiting a swingers club is one option and just observing. You might also want to have your boyfriend drop you off at a bar and then come in 20 minutes later and just watch you flirt and see how he handles it.
  7. The swingers club idea is kind of where we got started, once Mistress was comfortable with one particular male friend there they had a playmate relationship for several months, while I was put on kitchen duty while they played, so, yes, I have been cuckolded... any while it was stressful I thoroughly enjoyed the feeling and emotions I had. I would still really like for Mistress Wolf to take a longterm boyfriend/playmate.
  8. At the moment we are in a long distance relationship, so he feels that i should be able to go out and if i find someone i like and want to hook up with them, then i can. I think we are both worried about how far 'too far' is for ourselves.

    I think we both expect the first time of any cuckold or open relationship situation to be awkward and possibly hurtful, but will it get easier as time goes on, or has it for people who do it?

    I have kept telling him that i want to take this whole situation slowly as we have only just begun our chastity lifestyle and all other experimenting, but he is just rushing me and wanting something to happen so he can know how he feels. I understand where he is coming from so we don't get too deep into the situation and get really hurt, but i just think holding off for a while and taking our time will have more of a possibility of us liking it and also not getting as hurt. We have also both said that we will stay true to our relationship and if anything happened and we do want to stop, then we will, i'm sure it will just take some time, depending on how far into the situation we are.
    slave_m and Jasmic68 like this.
  9. Also the swingers idea i do kind of like, but unfortunately i don't think there are any around where he or i live. I did think that a similar situation that could work would be going to a bar and he would be able to watch me flirt with guys and things like what @MDsh@MDsh said.

    I think slowly progressing into it by slowly teasing him by being a bar would be effective and not too harsh on our relationship, would you agree?
    slave_m likes this.
  10. The advice of this mansion is fantastic. I'm still learning and evolving after four years.

    Thank you to everyone.
  11. I have no experience of being a cuck but I do know that this seems to be absolutely typical. The way that women want to take things slow, to spend time working out what they like, how this chastity thing works. But the men get frantic, want everything now, let their imagination and fantasy take over.

    I have to admit to the same attitude when my Wife and I started. Sometimes even now I want to run before I can walk. Luckily my Wife is much more like you. Her way is the slow, steady way, and since she really took control earlier this year that has been our way. What is weird is much of the time I feel like we are moving at a snails pace, but then I look at where we are and realise how far we have actually come.

    The sad thing is this male pressure to do everything straight away appears to be a major contributor to why many chastity relationships fail. My limited advice is to stay with your own pace and not be rushed into anything.

    As for cucking or having an open relationship, my Wife is totally against it. I explained to her how it had been a fantasy of mine for almost our entire relationship, but she has said her vows to me when we married and her own private feelings mean she wants no one else involved in ours.
    spider203 and MistressDee like this.
  12. Cuckolding is not my area of expertise. Having said that, I have had sexual encounters with people outside of a D&S relationship.
    Purely because I have my own submissive urges which were not being fulfilled in that relationship.
    Although I knew my submissive partner suspected these liaisons, he never asked, I never admitted to, we didn't discuss.
    He knew not to step over certain lines.
    I too was wary about complications of introducing other possible relationships which is why I took certain measures. (Measures I wouldn't divulge in public here)

    If you are concerned about damaging your relationship then cuckolding is a very precarious exercise in navigation.
    Oxytocin doesn't care about us.

  13. Hello jasmic I think that last paragraph explains why all men should ware chastity belts and not the female in the marriage.
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  14. @spider203@spider203 it has become very obvious in the past month or so that this chastity relationship is never going to be a switch one. I don't have the same level of control as my Wife. I don't have many of the other attributes that make her a good Domme but control of herself and of me is absolutely critical.
    spider203 likes this.
  15. Just as many others above have said, definitely take your time and don't let your sub pressure you into anything. The whole point of us makes being in chastity is to please our mistresses and follow their orders. This is something I struggled with because I wanted to create so many bdsm scenarios with my mistress. What I wasn't taking into mind was that I was pushing her harder to try things that didn't make her feel comfortable. At that point I might as well have been the Dom because I wasn't letting her find her way and how she liked to conduct my chastity. It really wasn't until recently that I understood what I was doing. Now I keep my mouth shut and let her make the decisions.

    So long story even longer now lol, you need to remind him that you are in charge and that you will make the decisions as to when you'll visit swingers clubs or whatever you end up deciding on doing. Get him use to being in chastity as well as obeying what you want when you want it. Otherwise you're just catering to his fantasies when it should be about your fantasies. Or at least mostly your fantasies :)
  16. @Jasmic68@Jasmic68 I couldn't agree more as with your Wife's sentiment that you shared: "but she has said her vows to me when we married and her own private feelings mean she wants no one else involved in ours." I, too, feel that marriage is a blessed sacrament....as well as I understand this is a sentiment not shared by all. (no "rock fights" please!)
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  17. @Mercedes47@Mercedes47 one of the best things about chastity, at least the way the majority of people in the Mansion see it, is there is no one single true way. Chastity is the core of the dynamic but the way it is practiced is individual to everyone. What is right for my Wife would appear tame to some. But then for some days are spent being denied when for me it is weeks and for others months, others still years or permanent.

    I love this hodgepodge of stories, it keeps it all very interesting. Otherwise we would all pop in occasionally and ask each other 'cum yet'? 'No?' Then leave again!
    boysmakegoodpets likes this.
  18. My wife had an intense friendship with a guy she had known from school ,

    As the years went on we all married but there relationship was still very sexually charged
    It got to the point me and his wife just wished they would get on with it .

    And one night it happend and then continued for about a year .
    Which was all ok ,until my wife lied about seeing him .
    Strangley this break of trust killed the affair
    And she thit was having a negative effect on our marriage

    We are all still good friends ,and it's like it never happend ..
  19. In hindsight , these were unusual circumstances and I don't think I could cope
    In any other situation ..
  20. Not sure how this will relate to your situation, but you might find bits and pieces informative, and I hope you do:

    I'm not in chastity (yet), but my Owner only likes the BBC (big black cock :) and won't let my "tiny little thing" inside Her (even though, from what I read, I'm about average size for a white man), and we never think about my having an orgasm - our sex is all about her beating up on me while I give Her all the pleasure I know how to - so it's a little like being in chastity. :)

    We both identify as polyamorous. I've never been with anyone else while She and I have been together (the stars just haven't aligned for that for me), while She's been with many men during that time - She's pretty voracious and very sexually open (and She's a woman, so She can have all the sex She wants) and men respond eagerly to that.

    I've been with Her a couple of times while She had sex with a guy and - much more often, and my personal favorite - have lain in bed with Her after we've had sex, wrapped around Her and listening to detailed accounts of the fun She's had with other men since the last time we saw each other. Personally, I love it - because I love Her power and Her freedom to do as She pleases, and I also love to hear about anything that gives Her pleasure (in poly circles we call this "compersion").

    Also, one of the things that seems to be common in all-out cuckoldry that we don't engage in is belittlement of the male - aside from the one or two times She's slapped my penis away and joked about it being a tiny little thing (and we both laughed at that), She's never spoken to me, or about me in my presence, in any remotely insulting or belittling way, and that's true when She's telling me about the men She's slept with. She never compares me unfavorably to them or says anything that makes my insecurities jump up and do their uncomfortable little dance - She's continually thoughtful and loving toward me in every way, which I know helps me to just relax and enjoy Her tales of delightful debauchery. :)

    So those might be things to work with as you start out: depending on what you and your man like and need (which you know better than me), I'd say just be considerate of him and his needs (whatever that means - basically make sure he's taken care of), and ask him to keep your needs in mind as well, and maybe go slow and see how each of you feels about your sexual circle expanding, and see if each of you can find the places in yourselves that can love it. Polyamory and open relationships can be heavenly to people who can do that. I've never been happier and never felt freer than I have since I "came out" as poly some kinda large number of years ago, and determined to get involved only with poly women. It's incredibly freeing for people suited to it; just be aware that, realistically, not everyone is suited to it. And if you find that one of you really really is and the other really really isn't...the greatest likelihood is that you'll need to break up eventually, because you each want different things. But that's okay! Because then each of you will know something essential about what you require in your relationships; something you didn't know before. And you will definitely both be happier for that in the long run.

    Go, and learn, and discover, and enjoy! :)
  22. Several years ago my beautiful wife dated another man while I would wait at home locked in chastity. They dated for about 8 months. It was an extremely intense experience for both of us. It was a wild rush of mixed emotions, some good and some not so good. A rather addictive experience. It is not for everyone. You both must have real strength in yourself and in your relationship. For us it was the wildest and scariest rid of our lives but we would do it again if the right man came along.

  23. We started very slow. At first I would watch my wife flirt with other men. Then one night we were out with friends and the really good looking stranger asked my wife to dance. It did not take long before they were making out and feeling each other up on the dance floor. It was the most amazing thing to watch. A friend of mine saw them and told me I should go "rescue" my wife. LOL, if he only know how turned on I was. This guy got my wife's phone number and kept trying to get her to go out with him but she was not ready at the time. Eventually he stopped calling. There were a few other's that my wife made out with but it was almost two years later before she met the man that she would go all the way with.

    Go very slow. Have sun and stop wherever you wish.
  24. Quite right. It's best if it's the woman's idea. I recently told my wife that I would be pleased to make me a cuckold. She is very much open to the idea but she says it's unlikely, as long as I remain faithful and completely submissive.