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Cuck/Bull? Dom/sub?

Discussion in 'The Boudoir' started by rep041268, May 22, 2017.

  1. I am curious to know how many others feel similar to me...

    I consider myself a switch. Most times I like to be in charge, dominant, alpha, in control, bull, etc...

    Then there are these other times that I want to fully give up power/control and totally submit. I feel exceptionally drawn to the idea of submitting to my wife or other female partner, be locked up, and be a fully submissive bi cuckold... as well as fulling submitting to a male Dom sometimes.

    I am not sure I am bi, but I am pretty sure I am submissively bi.

    All of this gets confusing and conflicting in my head sometimes.

    Am I alone?
  2. It seems you either have bi tendencies or you don't, regardless of chastity or a FLR. Chastity and being in a FLR only helps to provide an opportunity for that experience with some couples. I never thought of being bi as a learned trait. But maybe it is. That 's just my opinion though. I'm sure others have different ideas.
    Mash2214 and rep041268 like this.
  3. At the age of 19 I was a cuckold. I was sexually submissive at 13 when my future Mistress slapped me face for grabbing her boobs. However I am a very alpha male and many women want to be dominated in bed, so I was a switch. Plus I only submit to women I deem worthy of my submission and that is not going to happen unless in a long term relationship with someone I love.

    In my 30's I cuckolded a few husbands. I never knew the term "bull". I was just the married woman's lover. Most were cuckolded for only a few months but I cuckolded one cuck for 25 years and even socialized with him. Almost forgot to mention that I had sex with two males when I was 14-15 years old. I am also poly having headed a poly triad with my wife and her best friend. Every relationship I had with a woman was with a bi woman. Most of my best friends until I was 16 are gay men. One committed suicide because his parents were strict and they turned him out.

    I have wife swapped and engaged in soft swinging, orgies and other forms of group sex. I have had a few thousand threesomes because my wife shared her live in girlfriend with me for 30 years. I have done most fetishes that people are aware of and some that they never heard of before, even the yucky ones.

    At 11 I had two girlfriends walking me to and from school and then made out with both together after school. Some jealous person reported me and a principal called my mother and my mother called a priest. Nothing changed me. I am not confused. I just like experiencing all things sexual, even if I never do them again. I am not attracted to men at all and yet I had sex with two just for the experience and to help out two friends at a time when they dare not come out of the closet due to dire consequences. I am not repulsed by sex with men but do not seek it out either. If I had a few drinks and my wife kept me aroused, I could probably still do it and she has expressed a recent desire to watch me perform oral on a guy. That is one of the few things I have not done sexually and see no reason why I could not if my wife took part and I had a few drinks in me.

    None of this makes me feel weird. Sexuality is fluid. I can be whatever is appropriate to what is going on in bed. The only thing I do not care for is vanilla sex. Anyone can do that. I consider myself heteroflexible. I identify as straight, am not attracted to men or seek them out and yet under the right circumstances I can be sexual with males. Few are on the extremes of the hetero/homosexual line. We all fall somewhere in-between. My wife was a virgin when we got engaged and 7 years later she was fantasizing about only women and so she got me involved with her best friend to see if we were compatible and when she knew that we are, she joined in. She even set up a room in our house for her girlfriend to live. We had a poly triad for most of our 44 year marriage. I can be whatever the woman wants me to be.

    I have no conflicts in my sexuality at all. The way I think about it is that all of what I do is nothing more than breaking through mental barriers and teachings. I found that once I gave myself permission to do something, I could do it since there was only me stopping myself. Just be who you want to be under the circumstances. You are the only one holding yourself back and judging yourself.
  4. Thank you Vinny... I appreciate it!

  5. I think we all have things that confuse us. Sexually I am very submissive. I am definitely bi, but have had pretty limited experience with other men. On the other hand in my day to day life I am fairly dominant and a control freak. I run my own construction business and have very exacting standards. I think sometimes the part of me that craves submission is an outgrowth of always feeling a need to be in control of day to day life. It's a way of being freed from this alpha male I've become that I never really wanted. I just did it because it made me successful. It can be highly confusing when my wife spanks me, tells me to put on panties and then go run a meeting where I'm telling a bunch of construction workers what to do. At times I wish I could just fully embrace my submissiveness, but I know that would be the end of my business.
    Xtudo3002, rep041268 and sissybitch like this.
  6. Yes I understand. I am similar in the sense of being fairly dominant and a control freak in day to day life. I'd say I am the same sexually 80% of the times... but that 20% is total opposite!
    DnJsCuck likes this.
  7. i am no good at telling folks what to do i cant do it. i like being told what to do cos then i don't has to think if its rigt or not. i am a good maid and like doing it.
    JiL likes this.
  8. You and me both, Jemima. I am a lot better if I just get an order and follow it.
  9. You are not alone. I think your confusion is more common than you think. I know that I like and desire something different something exciting. I'm a sub to a very fantastic Mistress and would do anything she told me to do. Including sucking on another mans cock. I haven't yet done this so I don't think I'm bi but bi curious,that would be a better description.

    I also fantasies about being in control of a young lady or possibly a young man and have them do what ever I want them to. So I also have a tendency of being a Dom. I think that a lot of the reason we can't put ourselves into one category ( bi, straight. Dom / sub ) is because we can receive pleasure from almost any form of stimulation. We are very open and deversived people when it comes to sexual satisfaction. Our lives have led us in one direction but in the future may lead us in a totally different direction. That's why I think it's confusing and conflicting. This is only My Opinion.

    You have raised a interesting question. Take Care and Good Luck
    rep041268 and JiL like this.
  10. nice post
  11. Yup, find out what you're good at, do it, find the right company to do it with and enjoy!

    I thought I was sub initially, but frankly I was lousy at it, when it worked better the other way around.

    But I'm not going to consider myself better or worse than others because they have a different orientation.
  12. yes that what my Mistress says and it nice of You to say.
  13. No need to be confused. Very few people are 100% dominant or submissive, and very few people are 100% straight or gay (whether or not they admit it). Many people are the opposite in their sex life to their work life - again, very normal.
    PouchPantyLover likes this.
  14. Right to the point, mostly sincere, a lesson to all of us.

  15. I feel and think exactly the same way you do. I am confused as to what I am or what I really like. I think I like both sides of the sexual spectrum as well as both sides of the dominance spectrum. I hope to have the opportunity to explore all the possibilities.
    rep041268 likes this.
  16. In my vanilla life I'm extremely alpha. But I'm totally submissive to women. I'm bisexual, and been a cuck to my ex. It's frustrating as I can no longer deal with vanilla dating and which to go deeper on the path I was on with my ex.
    rep041268 likes this.
  17. Mistress B

    Mistress B Mistress B
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    Feb 29, 2012
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    You are certainly not alone. There are many that switch, female and male. A good friend of mine wouldn't consider letting anyone loose with an implement without them first experiencing the effects it had on the body.
    rep041268 likes this.
  18. I feel your pain. I am almost 50 and I just met a woman who is more sexually intense than any other woman I have ever met. We have done things together that I never thought someone would want to do with me. We've done things I've wanted to do with another person for years and years. She is willing to experiment with all my suggestions, and usually enjoys them! All I can say is to keep putting yourself out there. I know it can be very frustrating! Don't give up!!
    Joan.t and tomf_22033 like this.
  19. I had my first sexual encounter with a man when I was 22 and was a cocksucking bottom until recently when I promised my wife I would no longer. As I grew older I concluded that I was on the gay side of bisexual but still enjoy sex with women.
    JiL likes this.
  20. My Bride has never actually asked me if I'm Bi, and I'm not sure she really wants to hear the answer said out loud. I believe I am Bi and would readily tell her at this point if the subject came up. But, I believe she knows I've been around the block with a few guys in years past before we were married. I know she would't approve of my being with a guy right now, without her permission. I did remind her of my pledge this week that I would willingly be her cuck, So how necessary is it for me to ramble on to her about my being bi. She should have a pretty good idea of what's going on. Right ? So, there is no doubt, I am a bisexual sub (bottom), wanna be cuck.
  21. I would say that you've done what you've needed to. Should my wife desire to cuck me (she has that option with my blessing), I would be happy to submit completely to her bulls if required. But, as in everything else in our female-controlled marriage, that decision is her own.
  22. You are far from alone. Some people who find themselves in charge (either by choice or nature) choose to balance that stress of domanice with submission. The submission can be in an aspect of your life--as it seems to be in your case--or maybe in shorter chosen sessions--think the powerful executive sneaking off to serve a Domme. Either way it works (at least for me) and I would feel incomplete without both sides of the equation.

    MsJ is learning to dominate her husband (me) and D (her Dominant Bull is patiently teaching her the joys of showing dominance and administering humiliation to hero husband because he is kind and realizes we need this as a couple--and that it will be a more harmonious way for the three of us to coexist in the love triangle that has formed in our marriage.
    JiL likes this.
  23. It's possible that being submissively bi is your true nature and that you're in transition, as I was. The serene feeling I had after agreeing (actually, suggesting) a female-controlled marriage made me certain of my submissiveness. The bi part is over -- my wife forbids sexual contact with anyone else and I happily am obeying her.

  24. I think lots of people on the far edges of the control spectrum swing like a pendulum sometimes. I rarely engage in sex, but when I do, I want absolute control or to surrender absolutely, nothing in between.

    I think it's perfectly normal for anyone to want to see how green the grass is on the other side
  25. I feel the same. It's confusing to be in between. For years I thought I was (because I desperately wanted to be) a Dom. In fact, I am a complete Sub and finally accept it and everything that comes with it.

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