Crazy Idea

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by WEC, Sep 22, 2017.

  1. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    While I wait for a time that I might feel will be right to introduce this to my wife I was thinking maybe this will help the first lockup be more amiable to her...I was thinking that we generally have sex once before her period, and we don't during and she is kind of miserable (I mean she is perfectly normal but if she could choose she would not have a period)...was thinking lockup #1 could be when she gets her period, as if I am suffering through it too to some extent. And then she gets to decide when after I get out for some "fun". generally after she gets in the mood reasonably quickly. So this would probably turn out to be a 1 week starter.

    Since she occasionally enjoys being submissive and having me initiate (generally about a week per month after her period), maybe part of our "thing" is that I stay out that week and then go back in when she is no longer in the mood.

    Any Thoughts on this approach?
     
  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I don't suggest you introduce her to chastity by setting a timetable around her cycle. Later, after you two are firmly into it, a suggestion an explanation of the benefits would be ok.
     
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  3. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    are you mad!? Suggesting something you want when she is suffering with pmt? You do know women can see right through us, don't you? She will know right away that what you want is for you, not her.

    If you want to introduce a partner to this then treading very softly at first is imperative.

    The rest sounds fine as it means you aren't expecting her to take over everything at first, but please, think twice before going anywhere near this during her period.
     
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  4. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    Before my Husband introduced this to me, we had sex probably 4 times a week, no longer than twenty Min. Sometimes I'd 'be in the mood' sometimes initiating sex because I knew damn well he jerked off cause he didn't clean up his mess ( lube, towel, etc)...
    He introduced me to this and now we go to bed at the same time when able to, spend hours touching and talking, plus I am getting treated like a queen. I was super intimidated at first, but maybe if you introduce her to the benefits she'll be recieving, not a planned sex schedule, but the bond that will strengthen by trust and respect. I know we've never been more honest with eachother. It seems like in my life, the honestly would come out in anger, so much better when it comes out in love,

    Oh and Guess what sweetie? If you're in this, then SHE will be setting the time table!
     
  5. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    great response...I really did think it was genius LOL. I'll have to do some searching on the site for people's first intro that became successful.
     
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  6. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    First, can you guys talk about sex? Even a little? I think my husband/Toy just bought a cage and said look at this I was taken aback but intrigued all at the same time! Then he ordered me some books to read and then it was introduced!
    Get her the book "the hesitant mistress'" it got it thru my head that it was okay for him to like it, and for me to like it, and me liking him liking me like it, and him liking me liking him like it.... . Lol. It's an endless wonderful cycle.
     
  7. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Thanks for the reply Belle. May I ask if you are a natural dominant? My wife is definitely not. She likes the changes in me when I don't "cheat"...but also oscillates between "not interested" and more attracted to being dominated. She knows my sub cravings and indulges well for short periods, she will try this for me when the time is right. The question is whether its "play" a few times per year, or whether she gets enough out of it for it to become a lifestyle. Frankly I'd be lying if I said I was sure which I prefer. But I figure starting with "play" is safest, so that she doesn't fear that she is losing her "man". My intro posts describe that I did some voluntary chastity last year. But I made mistakes (needing sex every 3-4 days, acting too submissive), and it led to her taking an interest in her being in bondage. We had fun...not sure where we are ata now. Thanks.
     
  8. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Belle, we communicate well. She knows I want to be teased and denied. Honestly to date her most devious side is trying to get me to cum when I don't want to! I have that book!!! she's not seen it though. It was encouraging to me...near the end of our 3 month stint with me as Master she told me "you are too easy on me, when the roles are reversed you'll cum once ever ten of my orgasms"...something like that. I'm probably overthinking this because she is not in a sexy mood this month and I have the device the time to. But it should be easier to introduce than my posts suggest. Loved hearing about your experience with your husband. When I gave up masturbating it was to improve our marriage. It had very good effects. I just want to build on it. Thanks...
     
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  9. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    I didn't think I was dominate... Never even really thought of trying more than a rough tug on the balls or a slight press to the throat, he liked being dominant but we've learned im really only so submissive. I'm way better at being dominate. We've both been finding out. When I was submissive it wasnt a lifestyle, it was a once a month maybe twice a month great sex ( for him mainly)
    this I think about, and have taken interest in finding out more and more. He laughs nervously sometimes. But he knows he loves it just as much as I do!
     
  10. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Belle, this probably deserves its own thread but...So last night, a Friday, we had the kids out for dinner. My wife was having a kind of serious anxiety attack, but looking beautiful and trying hard to look and feel happy. After reading your and several other posts here that once chaste the man comes to bed at the same time as the woman, and the woman loves this closeness, I proposed to my wife at the restaurant table that I come to bed with her tonight. Usually we go do separate things at bedtime, she wants to watch TV and I'll have a beer with a movie or something.

    Her initial reaction was "no, I want to be able to watch TV" I said that's fine, whatever you want. She suggested "but you are a season behind me on Game of Thrones"…I said I would skip a season.

    Her mind kind of missed a beat for a second and she said…"Can we have a date night tomorrow night"? (keeping in mind a few minutes earlier she was really not feeling well) This was a big shift in her mindset. I texted a sitter.

    So we get home, let the kids watch Dory, put them to bed, I do sit on the deck for 15 minutes…but then I come to bed with my wife. I lay face down next to her with my left arm over her, and my head nestled into her armpit. It smells wonderful and I can tell I am welcome. She is watching a silly movie and I tune it out. Every time I move she seems to hold me tighter and inch her fingers along to keep me there.

    I sleep on and off for an hour or so, and then get up to use the bathroom. I had been kissing around lazily on her skimpy strappy shirt and I made mention of wanting to kiss her nipple. When I came back, her shirt was pulled down just far enough to see both nipples. I immediately went to work sucking them…and heard sounds from her that had been absent for a couple of months…she turns off the TV…

    It's sort of obvious where this is heading…her chest smelled so good to me after just 3 days in a device. (which I was not wearing at the time, she doesn't know yet)…but I started touching her lower, heard more beautiful sounds, gently worked on things…and then she says it…

    "when are you going to put your big c#ck in there?"…I respond with…"can I just keep touching you?"…she nods, I gently touch, kiss, and suck for a while smelling and listening, finish her (not me), we cuddle, I spend all night with a rocket ship to the moon between my legs……and we have a date tonight!
     
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  11. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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  12. njboyincb6000
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    njboyincb6000 Addicted to Female Power and Control.

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    Wow, that was a nice evening you had. I need a date night like that one every night!

    [​IMG]
     
  13. MadamBelle
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    MadamBelle Active member

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    That's awesome!!!! Keep that stuff going!!!
     
  14. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    This is getting bizarre...I got all of my kids doing crafts and my wife sits down on my lap and asks me to come upstairs and watch her shower and wash her hair! what!?!...mindblowing. She knows I didn't finish last night but that's it...she doesn't know I locked this week. But I think she can sense I'm "hurting". Again the crazy thing is 24 hours ago she was in a terrible 2+ month funk. Very sexy woman all of the sudden. The show was fabulous.
     
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  15. Queensbitch
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    Queensbitch Long term member

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    It sounds like this is the perfect time to admit that you have done your very best to not focus on your releases but only hers this week. Admit that it is extremely hard to not lose focus and fall into old habits of worrying about yourself. Leave it at that for her to think about a few days. Then when it feels right say, you found out they have toys to help make sure you can only focus on her orgasms
     
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  16. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I agree with @Queensbitch. Show her what the benefits are before you try and get what you want. Still be careful, don't go back to your old habits if things don't go well for you at first, it will make even more suspicious of your motives.
     
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  17. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    I feel this will still take more time for 2 key reasons: 1) I need to help her settle out on the work front and get "happy" again...and 2) she just plain likes it when I finish. We had a great date last night, but she made me finish in her and I could tell by the way she was talking to me during that there was no question that was what she wanted, and maybe she suspected I might not want to. She doesn't quite appreciate the power of how I felt after 4 days of longing for her and giving her pleasure with nothing in return. She also feels a need to reciprocate.

    I assume most in this situation share a similar conundrum...a) man and woman both love the masculine male that takes what he wants and delivers the biological load...and b) we love the sweet cuddly sensitive man that brings flowers, holds her tightly, and yields instead of persisting to the point of argument. Problem is, they don't exist at the same time...I need to help her understand this.

    On the plus side, I personally, if I really don't ever masturbate, feel like i don't refract much from VI. I don't feel fully satisfied from a single orgasm that way and so I'm still "feeling it" to an extent today...which is better than nothing. We cuddled well this am and she still seems "interested". Maybe I can serve her again soon.

    Bonus...if you've not seen it...find the movie "The Little Death" (la petite mort)...pretty funny film about odd fetishes. Netflix has is.
     
  18. Queensbitch
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    Queensbitch Long term member

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    Yes, don't think that the first month she is going to take away your orgasms. We are about 3 years into using the cage off and on, more on then off.
    We started off as it was just a toy to make me horny to her. Then it moved to maybe play once without me an orgasm. Then a couple times.
    Women are just like us, on that they are wired up, to get satisfaction from making us orgasm also.
    Nobody automatically wants to be the only one getting the satisfaction, the keyholding person has to learn that being chaste you are actually fully satisfied from making your partner orgasm alone. They must learn it is also ok to only worry about themselves for once in their life.
    Nothing about this is natural, although once it's realized it is soooo very beneficial to many couples.
     
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  19. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    Yes good feedback!
     
  20. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    QB, just wanted to ask "what is your routine like"...is there one? Are there particular times where she is more likely to want you locked? Just curious. Thanks.
     
  21. Queensbitch
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    Queensbitch Long term member

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    Current routine is simple now for us. She will want to orgasm at least every other day. Varies between wanting it from my tongue combined with either fingers or vibrator. Occasionally she will want me wearing a strap on so she can feel like she just got a good F-ing.
    She has learned she loves keeping me horny by not allowing Me to orgasm at all. That is why the keys are locked away until almost February.
    Since the original lock she has realized she really doesn't want me to make a mess at all so she never loses the added attention that is gained.
    Most of this has all been realized since September, so it's all new to us with these realizations.
    Finally she has come to realize that I will be just fine if I only get my satisfactions from giving her orgasms.
    I hope this helps you understand where 3 years"playing with the cage" can lead up to. It started like I suspect moist others as only being locked for the evening or one night then out to play and mess. Once they learn the benefits and power you never know where we may be taken to. The best part is, there is NO rule book to say what is right or wrong
     
  22. WEC
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    WEC Long term member

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    wow, great story, thanks!
     
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