Courage required

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by anoldgit56, Mar 31, 2023.

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  1. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    Well.. I’m reaching the end of my 7th day wear my cage. It’s only been off for about 4 hours in that time, 3 hours for pre sleep cuddles (no sex) before retiring to separate bedroom, then about 1 hour total for washing. We’ve been sleeping separately this week due to my wife doing some very late nights/early morning catching up with her work load.

    My wife noticed I was wearing a belt that looked like a thong which in fact is my harness that I made a couple of years ago. She asked if I was wearing and sexy underwear, I replied “sort of I might show you later”. Unfortunately one strap broke while taking off the cage to shower. The harness will still function as a harness so decided to put it back on and see if I have enough courage to actually show the wife later. She knows about the toys and I think seen some but not actually seen me wearing a cage.

    Hope I find the right moment and courage later this evening…
     
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  2. Andrea Silk
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    Good luck.
    I hope she loves it and helps you take things further
     
  3. Deleted member 104385
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    Just be yourself. If your wife loves you she won't care what you wear. Especially if she knows the reason behind it and if she is involved in it. I wear thongs all the time. My wife tells me all the time how much she likes them on me, and which one is her fav, etc.
     
  4. anoldgit56
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    I’m now in my 8th day being caged. What is different is my wife now knows and has seen me wearing the cage.

    When getting ready for bed last night see asked to see my sexy underwear thinking it was just a thong. Her initial reaction did worry me so I quickly covered up. The following conversation was intense while she allowed me to try and explain way I enjoy wearing the cage. The big issue she had was why I’d not talked to her sooner.

    I felt some release and she seems OK with the cage but don’t think she is ready to be the key holder. Steady as we go me thinks. For me it has strengthen our relationship and I had great pleasure in giving her 2 consecutive organisms after which we slept together, me still caged.

    Is this the first day of a new invigorated sexual relationship with the one I love?
     
  5. knightly
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    knightly Long term member

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    This is awesome, congratulations! It's so hard sometimes, isn't it, to express what we feel and want? I so struggle with this all the time, but am getting better.

    Interesting how her main concern was that you didn't talk to her about it sooner. My wife would have likely said the same thing. I'd have had all this shame, guilt and apprehension in my head and gone in circles for a long time about bringing it up...oh wait, that's exactly what happened. But eventually I got up enough courage to talk it through and it started the journey we are on now of much better communication, openness, and exploration.

    Best wishes to you!
     
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  6. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    Day 9

    Woke this morning and noticed that the little man was looking swollen, pale in colour and slightly protruding through the cages bars. Thinking that this does not look good I took the cage off along with the extra base rings. The circumference now measured 140mm and he was very flaccid. After a little googling I think I might have an edema. So I’m thinking that the cage is too small?

    About a year ago I took a series of measurements along the shaft they ranged from 36.6mm to 38.2mm. The cage opening is 35mm with the bars approximately 36/37mm apart.

    I liked the feeling of the restrictive size and it has been fine for short term wear. I do now wonder if I need a slightly larger diameter cage for longer term wear.

    It’s date night to night so was hoping to wear the cage as a new experience for us both L
     
  7. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    I've been out of the cage for 2 days now and things look to be getting back to normal.

    As a cheap test for sizing I've ordered a 3D printed cage called the Cobra Max. With a larger base ring and an extra 2mm internal diameter it might be a better fit. I would prefer a metal cage but at the moment I need to get a better idea of sizing before splashing out.
     
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  8. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    I started to feel a little undressed not being caged. New Cobra cage has not arrived yet so I've put the metal one back on. Was still a little tight but I'll be checking throughout the day to see if it starts to swell again.

    Feels good though...
     
  9. madams-sissysub
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    Thanks for sharing! And I agree, I feel naked wrong without a cage.
     
  10. anoldgit56
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    The resin Cobra cage arrived a few days ago. Oy managed to put it on yesterday morning and it felt good. Continued to wear it over night but woke to find it broken. The cage had split away from its ring. I'll post a picture in an album shortly.

    Not sure I can make a judgement on less than 24hrs wear...but it was slighty easier to put on. I'll not be buying any more resin cages.
     
  11. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    Sorry for delay in uploading photos of the Cobra. I wish I'd taken a photo of the cage when I put it on while it was still in one piece...

    Been searching again for a steel cage but keep gravitating to either the Bon4ML or plumping for a custom cage. The custom cages from Badassworkroom look good as well as their version of the tetherspout. At the moment I'm not in a position to be able to splash out that amount of cash needed to make that investment. So looks like I'll be wearing my current cage for short (5 to 7 day) stints at a time while the misses gets use to the idea.
     
  12. Deleted member 100175
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    presumably a fake Cobra? genuine items from Kink3D are far higher quality & don't snap or crack (within reason) so don't be put off entirely if it suits you otherwise

    personally the ball-gap is too tight for me & I prefer a more open style, but it's a good product
     
  13. 547378263
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    547378263 Active member

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    Take a look at the cherry keeper. They are 3D printed, and come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colours. I believe you can get will custom. I am in one now, going on 6 days and I have no issues.
     
  14. anoldgit56
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    Thank you for the suggestion of the Cherry Keeper. How string are they?
    After my experience with the Cobra I'm a little hesitant to try a 3D printed cage.
     
  15. 547378263
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    I have a cobra also and I find the CK cage much more robust. There doesn't seem to be any seams in the cage or ring and to be honest I think I would have to hit it with maybe a hammer or such to break it. Where the two parts connect and lock up is the weakest area and even that would require some effort to break. The bars for the cage are 5mm thick so pretty sturdy. They aren't that expensive compaed to others an there is a wide variety of sizes and shapes to choose from. I can't say if they are any better some other 3D cages 'cause this is my first one.
     
  16. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    Thank you. That gives me some confidence that the Cherry Keeper could be an option. I'll take another look at all the models they offer.
    Thanks again
     
  17. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    Still not committed to a custom cage, which means only caged for a few days at a time.
    In this hot weather we're having I'm wearing the cage with a pouch and no pants. It feels great.
    20230616_053106.jpg
     
  18. Arlentia2
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    That is a really nice belt!
     
  19. anoldgit56
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    Thanks Arlentia2. Sorry for being away from forum since June.

    It's a belt I purchased off eBay a few years ago. I made some modifications to it so it could be used with different cages. It also had a thin strap from the bottom of the cage ring to the back which helped to keep thing nice and cosy. Unfortunately this thin strap eventually gave way so I'm now thinking of a further modifications.

    Been trying to find the the belt on eBay and also searched Etsy to buy another but looks like the belt not available now.
     
  20. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    Hope you find something suitable
     
  21. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    Still looking for options for a complete new belt or one that I can modify and/or borrow bits.
     
  22. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    About time I updated progress.

    I'm still self locking for short periods of time due to the swelling issue. The wife isn't taking much interest in the cage but is enjoying the attention when I'm wearing it. Don't think she has made the connection yet. Wearing the cage makes me think more about sex even though PIV is out of the question.

    When unlocked I've taken to just wearing cock rings, either one or a combination. The cheap triple ring cock ring is starting show signs of tarnishing on the inside and is getting difficult to clean so I've ordered what should be a better version which is smooth on the inside.

    I've ordered a slightly larger diameter cage which should arrive soon. There is also a belt on its way which I should be able to modified and add to may existing studded belt.

    When able I'll post a pics of the new items.
     
  23. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Long term member

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    It takes a while, have patience, but boy, does life change when it clicks for her.
    Sounds like you're both on the right track. The slow one which will get you where you want to be.
     
  24. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    After 7 days of being locked i've had to unlock this morning due to bad swelling. I've also taken off the two base cock rings that I'd started to wear when unlocked.

    Really hoping the new cage I've ordered solves the swelling problem. The base ring of the new cage should be 37mm against the 35mm of my current cages. If it works out OK I might event give locktober a go.
     
  25. anoldgit56
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    anoldgit56 Member

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    Well, the new cage is not a good fit. If tried wearing it a few times but cNnot get on w
    Ith it. Though the shaft ring is 2mm larger than my current cage it is very uncomfortable due to being shorter.
     
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