Could the power be a put off?

MrPickle · May 31, 2021

After 6 months of relocking after edges and treats. And being pushed yet further by C I am on a break. C has enjoyed the attention and is pleased that she has pushed my boundaries a bit more. it takes longer for me to get to a point where I'm desperate now and the orgasm ratio hit 10 to 1 which i hadn't realised was C's goal.
Yes, it nearly drove me insane again, but this time I just went with it. The only concern was.. It was painful. The ruined orgasm was a let down after so long, but I get what I'm given and C was very pleased with herself so it's still a win. But the pain in my perenium afterwards was horrible.
For now, C has had enough, I'm out and she is in planning stages. Her words "I want you to get used to being free before I lock you up again, how better to make you miss it?"
Nice.

John · Jul 2, 2021

MrPickle said: ↑

I hadn't considered this. It is possible My wife likes to journey this far, but doesn't want to stick around.

OK.
I managed to have a brief chat.
Found out
My wife doesn't like the person she becomes at that point, well she does in a way.. Ish.
and the control thing is fun for a bit.
but she doesn't like her on hindsight, the next day and also feels guilty at having enjoyed it to any degree. It isn't someone she wants to be.
Also, my wife has said she doesn't mind locking me up again, but still finds things confusing. This is unusual because it usually takes a couple of months before my wife would consider relocking.
She is finds it difficult for conflicting reasons.
Initially I led her into this, she just wanted to do as I told her to do etc. My version of what it should be like. This was ok but irritating, my wife doesn't like being told to do things, I didn't want to be telling her, but she doesn't have enough interest to look it up.
She felt she was getting it wrong and it was confusing.
As time went by I gradually passed the reigns to my wife and said "do it your way, you decide what is ok and what you would like. Don't try to think about what it is you think I want"
My wife found this near impossible, I was asking her to stop being considerate. And to make choices. My wife doesn't like having to choose, it takes a week for her to choose a pair of shoes to buy when faced with a choice of two. (Tried dice etc. No good. They also told her what to do.)

So. I have been invited to start again, and didn't jump at it this time.

I think maybe we should have some simple ground rules, that I have to follow, the wife can over rule them so doesn't have to miss out. She gets what she wants and gives me what I want.
And When she feels she has gone far enough, we take a break

I want this to be simple with the option that my wife can add things at will, in hope she may tailor it to be enjoyable.

How does this sound to the other key holders? Anything I should add or avoid?

I also need to explain a few things that I hadn't realised were unknown to my wife.
Milking and cuming isn't the same
Why cock teasing isn't cruel or morally wrong, how I could like being so frustrated is beyond her. So she tends to not do it so often. Omg? That's the best bit.

So, some basic rules and goals, and a safeword might be all we need for now.
Click to expand...

Think you should start to pamper her more when you are locked up please her. Do more things around the house etc. This way she isn’t stressed and have more energy for it and start to see the advantage of chastity. She has probably been raised to please and it confuses her to have to do these kind of things. Trust me when she see’s the advance she might get hooked.

Nicoftime · Jul 2, 2021

You might be overthinking this. It’s pretty simple. She locks you until she unlocks you, you don’t cum until she wants you to cum. Notice I said she.

Does it drive you crazy when you get the denial you crave? Great. It should feel just as good when you obey her and have that climax she wants you to have. Sometimes orgasm denial isn’t about denying orgasms, but controlling them. If she wants you to get off, get off and do a good job of it. Lock back up and try to get back into subbie mode as soon as you can.

Some people associate being dominant with certain activities or traits, but it’s all about her getting what she wants that makes her dominant, not the act itself. If she wants to be handled rough , held down, and taken, she can look you right in the eyes and tell you to do that. That’s dominant as hell if you ask me. The point is, she doesn’t have to get sick of chastity or being in charge, it can still be as normal as she wants while still getting what she wants.

Sometimes after a real long lock up I get kind of picky on how it ends. I even tend to back away from quickies and such because I don’t want to end a 4 or 5 month lock up on a quickie. But it’s not my decision now is it. It’s her control, not my vision of her control.

It doesn’t have to be so rigid or have roles that never bend. If she likes something, make sure it happens.

Robins toy · Jul 7, 2021

My thoughts? Pretty simple!

If you have a "chastity" lifestyle, encourage your partner to keep you chaste.

If you have a FLR lifestyle, do WTF She wants! That's kind of the definition of "Female Led" on the relationship....

Robins toy · Jul 7, 2021

You could also explain to her how your fantasies play out. Help her understand that what you crave is the denial, the absolute power you give to her freely and without question over your orgasms. If you can make her understand that this isn't some failure on Her part, rather an enhancement of the relationship, then you may break the barriers that exist.

My R once thought I was crazy for asking Her for this. Earlier today she grasped her cage through my pants (I was at work) and whispered in my ear that She loves how this thing makes Her feel.....

We didn't get to this place without my letting her know how much I enjoyed the enticing interludes between the times She desires to unlock me!

The place where one can entertain the denial of pleasure as the ultimate pleasure is a very special place to be. If you can make Her understand that, you may overcome your hurdles!

Godspeed, friend!

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Could the power be a put off?

MrPickle Active member

John Member

Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

Robins toy Active member

Robins toy Active member