Coping strategies when that insane, desperate urge to release comes?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Cm_acc_2019, Jun 13, 2019.

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  1. Cm_acc_2019
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    Cm_acc_2019 New member

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    Hi, 33 male, new here, had a chastity fetish for a while and am trying to get into it. :)

    I find the idea very enticing, but I’m sure many have been there... It starts easy at first, but the hormones keep building up, slowly but surely, and in some time (for me, usually mere days) eventually I get an insane, uncontrollable urge to release, that clouds judgement and overrides any willpower or reasoning I have.

    And since I don’t have a KH, I just can’t stop myself (short term measures like freezing keys don’t work, since the urge doesn’t go away long enough for me to get them, and I need to keep access to keys on short notice for any legitimate emergencies).

    So I can never stay locked long enough to truly get into the chaste mindset. Of course, I regret releasing as soon as I do, but by then it’s too late.

    Instead of figuring more secure ways to store keys, I understand that willpower is an essential component of chastity, as much, or more, than the cage itself. So I wonder, how do the rest of you cope, whether with or without a KH? Breathing exercises? Cold showers? Abdominal flexes? Mental work? Distraction? Peer counseling? Something that can actually last long enough to get over the urge to release, and be able to sleep through the night.

    For those with a KH, how does she or he help stay locked in ways other than physically preventing access to the key?

    Thanks! :)
     
  2. Miss Amandas boy
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    Miss Amandas boy Submissive to Mistress Amanda

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    Calm authority. Soothing words. Reminding me why I need to be managed by her. Reinforcing the reasons why I benefit from my submission to her.
     
  3. Charles3451
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    Charles3451 Active member

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    Have you considered visiting a professional hypnotist?
     
  4. Cowboob
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    Cowboob Dumb ol' cow

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    When I had a keyholder it started out long distance, and even when we moved in most of the time I had access to and knew where the keys were. But her willingness to be a part of it and tell me to keep the cage on helped. From that I either developed or discovered the willpower. When I started self locking last month I slipped the first couple days, but got back into the groove. I don't do anything to ease or distract myself from the high of frustration, because being at that high of frustration is the best part of chastity.

    Now it's been over 2 weeks since I last allowed myself out of the cage for anything other than cleaning/shaving. Though I have had some release from anal stimulation. And right now I feel like I can keep that up like I really want.
     
  5. madams-sissysub
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    Kudos to you, I couldn’t be locked without my madam having my keys, I would not have had the will power to go as long as I have. Madam simply says no. It’s my place to be caged and to suffer for her enjoyment,
    Normally when I get horny I indulge in ass play, this can be 2-3 times a week.
    Ether with madam or solo if she is out, and as I have mentioned in other posts I always have to ask permission. Madam nearly always Says yes, she just likes the humiliation of me having to ask.
     
  6. buildup
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    buildup Active member

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    I think it's bound to be harder without a KH because you are not being monitored. I don't even wear a cage and I think I am prepared to stay chaste for as long as my Wife wants me. If I cheated she would know due to my attitude change so there's no point in self help. Plus I enjoy the tease and denial. If I wasn't in a relationship I wouldn't be able or wouldn't be interested. I need to be denied. I often ask my Wife for intercourse just to hear her so NO! I even have to ask to be edged which she'll do because it's related to the denial of intercourse and oral. As far as she's concerned it's like a scrap of food which has fallen off the table: (Wife's attitutude) OK you can just have that to keep you going. I have to ask her very politely just to be allowed to kiss her ass.

    Willpower doesn't play a large part as she is my psychological cage. I think you need a KH; otherwise you'll need more willpower.
     
  7. johnjames55
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    johnjames55 Member

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    Help cope? When owned I'm tormented mercylessly and used for her sexual release or massage which makes things even harder (pun intended). But try and find a keyholder as the dynamic and pleasing her makes it all worthwhile, so perhaps I am helped in a way...........but so cruel.
     
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