Controlling my husband at home while he's an employee of mine too.

Firstly with regards to a cage, the CB 6000 is a good starting point as they are very adjustable, I suspect you may find the 6000s is better though. Surprisingly a smaller cage is definitely more comfortable, unless of course he is a "really big boy". Once you work out what size ring, spacer and cage is best, then move on to stainless steel, it really is so much easier to keep clean and more comfotable. With regards to getting him onside, I think your approach of negotiation and persuasion is a good way to go. You sound like a lady who has skill and patience and I suspect you understand how your hubbies mind works so hopefully you will win him over and probably in the process make it seem like it was all his idea! I hope you succeed as from experience chastity is great for both partners! Mind you that last comment is just my own personal feeling!

 

I'm with @Joroincharge on this one. Women HATE the thought of their men masturbating and most guys understand that, but choose to brush it aside. If I were you, I would push hard on this issue as it is one for which there is no satisfactory answer. You have a right to his good performance and anything that he does to diminish his performance when with you is a threat to your relationship. Pressing hard on this topic can naturally bring up the subject of a cage and how it "seems to be necessary, at least until he can learn to get things under control". (which, of course, will be at your option by then!)

 

Maybe invest in a porn filter or check his browsing history. I he surf porn add time if he delete history add week/month. So you become his new addiction not the porn sites

 

My GF talked me into it. I still don't like it but it does control my urges, it makes her happy so..........I would rather be free all the time

 

While I am rarely against putting someone into chastity, especially if they have a masturbation problem, I just want to throw out the idea that if anyone found out about the chastity, it might destroy his credibility with those that report to him, unless all the guys report to you directly. Another thing is it might cause issues with his coworkers if they begin to tease him and it becomes uncomfortable to work with him. Its fun at home, but in a situation like yours it might be worth reconsidering and just keeping him in chatity at home and on the weekends. Unless he takes very long in the bathroom at work, which it might be a better rule that he may only spend x amount of minutes in the bathroom at max.

Just my .02

 

If you have managed to work out a boss - husband relationship already the CD should not be a problem. What however is if he is forced all BDSM is done by consenting adults and to move away from this is not a wise move. Try not get caught up in the kink most here enjoy it because we either wanted or agreed. Those who were forced are no longer here I suspect in fact you cant force. Unless you use a PA he can and will escape it hi mind that locks him up. Ensure his work place conditions i.e. toilets physical work will not expose him and therefore you as engaging in BDSM.

 

Marriages tend to have a balance of responsibilities for each partner, but when one partner ends up doing everything, that can breed resentment. In this case, you're doing everything...the boss, the finances...but you're doing it by choice, which takes from your husband his ability to contribute. Perhaps his masturbation to porn is his outlet for him to feel control over his life. While there could be a macho aspect to it from cultural messaging, it could also be that he simply feels like he isn't able to contribute as an equal partner in the marriage and the boss/employee relationship extends to home, as well. Even children have a need for agency, and your husband seems to have very little.

You say the cage isn't a fetish of yours, and he's reluctant...you just want him to masturbate less so your sex life together doesn't suffer. Perhaps rather than a chastity device that you're going to impose on him or wear him down until he gives in, why not see a sex-positive marriage counselor first? It seems like neither of you are really interested in the method you've chosen for him, so maybe there's a better solution that works for you both.

 

Just to echo most of what's been said. Originally, some years ago now, it was my idea (although perhaps with a big of nudging) but which my which my Wife / K/H was happy to indulge. We started with a CB6000 and have been through a number since. There are problems with plastic: they do tend to smell ad chafe more than bit. If you've already ordered one then at least it is very adjustable - if a bit fiddly. Starting from scratch I would recommend stainless steel. In addition to the sites already mentioned DHGate have a tremendous range - being added to all the time - and tremendous prices. You can also buy models with different cage lengths and that come with a number of different sized rings to fit behind the balls. You can also gets lots of models that feature an integrated lock, rather than a separate padlock: more secure, comfortable and less visible in everyday clothes. Not that that's as much of an issue as you'd think.
Whatever the model you will have to start slow for lots of reasons. It does take time for the body to adjust and 'toughen up': just an hour or two a day to start with. Frequent releases for showering / cleaning: it's fun if you supervise this or keep him hands-free; and you might want to to remove his public hair (also fun and sexy) and use moisturiser.
Obviously it's supposed to be fun and sexy so plenty of teasing from you while he's caged. The hornier he gets, the more desperate he'll get for release, the more compliant and willing to please he'll become and the more he'll enjoy the ride, eventually.
Best of luck and keep us posted.

 

To love seeing him locked- I love this thread. You supervise 50 men including your husband and are now
trying to get him in chastity. It brings out every submissive bone (LOL) in my body. We will love seeing every detail of your relationship. We encourage you to post it all. Bill

 

Carrot before the stick.

Communication is important and you shouks talk about needs and expectations. A different tact would be to say that you expect an orgasm with him every day. He can choose to satisfy you and you can state your preference is PIV, but if he can't then it is his responsibility to take care of you.

Once he fails then start to work in the Chastity with wearing the device in terms of hours and double it every time he fails.

The goal is for him to wear understand you need daily intimacy. It is his job to provide it and when he fails think of Chastity as a PIP plan for workers.

Once that is done you need to start to give rewards for wearing it longer ... Get him to write down and communicate his fantasies and then you can come back after he gets his that Chastity is yours.

 

I've been thinking about the work-home dynamic, also that he's not too keen on the idea just yet.
Don't let the latter put you off, once a man understands and experiences the benefits of chastity, it's addictive.

Can I suggest you start of by only locking him when he's at home, and not at work.
Start with short evening/bedtime sessions only, and progress to whole weekends.
It always takes some time to get used to the hygiene and comfort issues of wearing a chastity device, and a number of devices, but once you get him comfortable to wearing it for a whole weekend, it's just as likely that it will be him suggesting that he wear it at work as it would be you.

 

@Love seeing him locked, how has this been working out for you over the last six weeks?

 

I would. Love this but yes at work you work but home is home. But there are times you could remind him you know what's in his pants and there is lunch time

 

I am employed by my wife, and there are other employees in the office. The dynamic gets a bit weird, other people understand we are not a 'normal' marriage (they probably think she wears the pants so to speak) but I don't mind. If you are happy in your relationship it doesn't really matter what others think.

What is hard for us is privacy in the office. Sometimes she just wants me to kneel by her desk for a while, or do other things...and we often can't do all we want to without creating a minor office scandal.

 

Yes, I funded the startup and helped her with her business plan, etc. But it's her business, she started it and grew it all on her own. These days I'm a business owner but also an employee.

 

That's fantastic news, and your plan is great. Have you seen a change in his approach to you and your marriage, less hard edges, more intimacy, more openness to you?

 

I thought I introduced chastity, and then the other day my wife said it was her idea, so we're not sure. Chastity was a natural outgrowth of FLR, for us. I'm on the honor system mostly, locking for me is not a requirement. It's a definite turn-on for her though.

 

I'm surprised you are enjoying your husband being unhappy. I don't know any real wives that talk this way. Plenty of fake ones though.

 

I don't think that's a fair comment or reflects the whole thread. Her husband is a masturbator, and his masturbation was affecting their marriage. She discussed it with him and he agreed to try the chastity cage. He's cooperating in their joint effort to make a change in their marriage. He's doing more to satisfy her needs and is "seeing the benefits." That doesn't make him "unhappy." He wants to change, and changes in life can be hard, and a lot of people wish they didn't have to change, but they're working on this together.