Controlling my husband at home while he's an employee of mine too.

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Love seeing him locked, Jul 28, 2018.

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  1. Love seeing him locked
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    Interested to see if anyone else has our situation.

    My husband is not only hopefully going to be my sub at home he is also one of 56 men I manage at work. If so, does it seem to have much effect on your Dom/sub relationship at home? We are new with this lifestyle so I'm curious how it has worked for your relationship? I'm hoping to get him locked within a couple weeks. Still trying to get him on board.
     
  2. Chaste J.
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    Very interesting dynamics there! Usually the man asks to be locked! Hope you manage to win him over. Something very special about being kept chaste for my wife, especially when I'm away from her. So is he "up for" the Sub,Dom at home? Keep us posted on your journey and maybe see if he wants to join us at some point!
     
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  3. Love seeing him locked
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    Not exactly! He has agreed to wear during foreplay but no extended time. He doesn't see the benefits yet but hopefully he will once I get him started.
     
  4. Jail Bird
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    Once you get him on board (in a belt) you'll notice a huge difference in how he acts towards you. Heck, you might want to get the other 55 men in belts!! LOL

    Welcome
     
  5. HeForHer
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    Personally I think it would be best to try and avoid deliberately mixing kink with work. He needs to focus solely on work and not see it as an extension of a D/s scenario.
     
  6. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    Very unusual situation I've not before encountered, though I have known such scenarios in reverse, i.e. where she as employee has managed to secure her locked boss!

    On the whole I think mixing business with D/s is fraught with problems; but as you're married to him it adds something else. Presumably it means you are also dominant financially and control or can control the .joint £$£ and assets? Or do you?

    But I'd say in the first instance keep it separate at least till you can get him locked. And get a good secure device: steel and made to measure. But you make all the moves meanwhile: ordering, fitting and so on. Is he OK or reluctant with this? Happy to PM if you prefer. And is he a Member? Even if not he can read open posts as a Guest,
     
  7. Love seeing him locked
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    Lol good idea they need an adjustment too
     
  8. Love seeing him locked
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    I suspect our situation is definitely different than most. I do control all our money, although he's well aware of everything. I do have concerns since the twist of work is involved. I guess I will ride it out and see how it goes. I'm hoping to have him locked within a couple weeks. I've ordered the cb6000 it seems like a nice and sturdy device. Have you ever had this one? If so, what is your opinion about it for a newbie? It seems a little on the heavy side but I have nothing to compare it to.
     
  9. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    Somehow I think being KH for all 56 a bit tricky!

    Start with the first one i'd say. cb6000 is Ok to start but I really think you need steel for ongoing. Look at Mature Metal for starters, but there are others.
     
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  10. Love seeing him locked
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    Lol no doubt. Think I will leave them for their significant others to deal with.
    Yes, I got a cb6000. What is your opinion, is this a good one for a newbie?
     
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  11. Tommundelein
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    I read HeForHer’ comment regarding the mixing of work and kink. I agree with him but from a bit of a different perspective. For your consideration - During my working career I have seen spouse/significant other/dating relationships in the same work place. They can change the dynamic in a work place. I know that you and your husband will thoughtfully evaluate the situation and arrive at a decision that works for you both. Kind regards.
     
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  12. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    Good framework. Advantage of cb6000 for starters is that range of rings/spacers means it fits virtually all sizes so can be fitted in a trice. . But as in last post I'd be looking to upgrade to steel and custom-measured asap.
    But controlling all the money with one hand and having him locked and by the balls with the other is a very powerful combination dynamic. Do it properly and you're pretty much where you want to be and he won't be about to wriggle out!:strong::strong::lockkey::lockkey::+1::+1:
     
  13. Love seeing him locked
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    We handle the normal day to day work great. Very rarely butt heads. He is one of my direct reports so occasionally I do have to get stern with him and his direct reports which he handles ok. I know that can be tough too. He's not a fan of Chasity therefore is bucking the idea of it. He stated this morning he doesn't want me to control his entire life with work, sex, money etc which I do understand. We will continue to work through it. I'm sure we will eventually negotiate a deal.
     
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  14. Love seeing him locked
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    So true! Hmmm the power I will have thank you for cage info. I will look into one of those and a fitting too.
     
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  15. DonnaSue
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    I would suggest that you discuss the idea of a 2 or 3 week trial period. Not necessarily being locked for that long at first, but just an overall period before jointly making a decision. You might begin with a 24 hr lockup, then wait a day and then another day of two locked and then a day of unlock. If you can both experience the many advantages of chastity and be able to discuss it openly, then a longer period of chastity would probably be in order. That open discussion piece is the most important.
     
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  16. Love seeing him locked
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    Thank you for this input! We've started the communication process. Not going great YET but I'm not going to give up. He will see the benefits soon and get on board.
     
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  17. Rectrix
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    I'm not a fan of the enclosed plastic devices, they're stink traps and can cause skin rot if not released and cleaned frequently. @Joroincharge is right about ending up w custom sized steel, but you can do testing of steel first, about $10 each, at aliexpress or Amazon. Models A226 and A273 are excellent starting places.
     
  18. Rectrix
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    He's hanging on to his last little toy. He was raised as a male to think he was supposed to be head of household, but that's just old macho b's. You're already his boss and control work. You already control the money. He doesn't want you to control "sex" too, but he's just a porn masturbator -- that's not sex, that's avoidance of marital intimacy. You know you are right and in his heart he knows his masturbation robs you of his erection. You need to hold firm in your "negotiation" that the masturbation has to stop. Offer to replace it with your loving massage, teasing and management of his erection, but make him understand that he will masturbate no more. He'll come to understand the power of intimacy and symbiosis and accept your loving female authority.
     
  19. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    You go girl!
     
  20. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    Yes. This will indeed need careful negotiation and planning. ATM you hold most of the cards but not all of them.

    Usually it's the M wants locked and F a bit reluctant at first. With you it's the reverse. So a bit at a time. hat levers/carrots do you have to persuade him? Does he jack off (most men do) and if so does it affect his performance when you want him for yourself?
     
  21. HeForHer
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    I'm a little perturbed that people and the OP are trying to force someone who is reluctant and doesn't want chastity, into it. Forcing something onto someone elses person is not a wise action. That won't help a loving relationship, it will damage it long-term. All sounds a little fantastical to me...
     
  22. Love seeing him locked
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    Thank you for this information. I will look into these.
     
  23. Love seeing him locked
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    You're right! He's fighting
    Yes, masturbating is the only reason I looked online for help. He loves Porn and is addicted to it and of course masturbating. It does take away from his performance with me. When we get to our lovemaking session's he either can't get an erection, he can get one but not for long, he doesn't have the passion that should be there.
     
  24. Love seeing him locked
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    I understand your thoughts, they are mine too reason why I've asked for help/guidance on here. It's definitely not a fantasy of mine, I knew nothing about Chasity until I started looking for help. My husband has an addiction to porn and masturbation that is effecting our marriage. The last thing I want to do is negatively effect our marriage more than his addiction has. He is promising to stop the porn and masturbation and I know without a doubt he loves me and wants to. BUT, I also realize an addiction and it's power over mind.
     
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  25. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    That's got to be the angle then. Tell him his performance is not doing you no good at all. You deserve and need better and he needs to improve. Suggest first he try wearing for a week or so :lockkey::lockkey::lockkey:and then point out to him how much better his performance is afterwards. :strong::strong::strong:
     
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