Contract for Comments

Okay here's my second try at replying to a post:


Sarah, here are my suggestions for making this document work in the long run:

1. The Rights, Innate Powers and Privileges of Keyholder should be listed clearly at the top of the document, for easy reference in the future. Her rights need to be very broad and extensive.
2. the Responsibilities and Duties of chastity slave need to be simplified, minimized, and listed below the Rights and Powers of Keyholder.
3. Remedies available to Keyholder can be listed next.
4. Remedies available to chastity slave should be specifically listed as "None."
5. The Term of the contract should be specific. It is currently defined as "for the forseeable future".
6. The emergency key afforded to chastity slave should be kept in a tamper evident container at all times. For example, in a small sealed envelope with Keyholder's signature and lipstick press across the seal.
7. The terms "Wife" and "Husband" should be replaced with "Keyholder" (or "Mistress") and "chastity slave" throughout.

 

My wife would slap me if I handed something so complicated to her to read through. My chastity is for then improvement of her life and to simplify things for her, not to make her life more complicated.

 

My keyholder (which was my girlfriend at the time)/wife actually wrote our agreement, but she didn’t like the word contract. She used the word commandments.

Basically it was ten basic understandings of what we should expect. No legal jargon or complicated ideas. We’ve never taken the document out or signed anything, she just handed the letter to me and basically telling me this is what she expects and what I should anticipate from her. It was short, sweet, and left me feeling loved and excited...not like I just signed a second mortgage.

 

It is indeed complicated

 

If you want something as comprehensive as that you could try condensing it as it's far too verbose. For example:

Chores

"Husband will take responsibility for the performance of all household chores as directed by Wife. This includes, but is not limited to, laundry, washing the dishes, cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathrooms, vacuuming the floors, trash removal, and general cleanup of all rooms within the house. Wife may request that these chores be done at any time".

Could be shortened to:


Husband will do the housework required by Wife

 

instead of having a contract with a load of legal language why not write vows/a love letter?

oh a legal contract....so romantic! only guys are into shit like this.

 

I think the longer the contract the less romantic it looks. Also if it were a really complicated contract, it could start to look like a slave contract which would be a contradiction. And also being a slave does not sound romantic so maybe a slave is not desiring romance. But then where is the line between sub and slave?

 

i think the kink is in having a contract as opposed to what's in it. No judgement, whatever floats your boat.

 

A contract that’s long and detailed sounds like what a Lawyer would make up, confusing and hard to understand.

Simple contract.
She holds the keys, what she says you do.

 

Maybe you could have a conversation, looking for the things that your wife wants you to commit to as part of a chastity situation. And you could just make a few bullet points of what she is interested in you committing to, that you are willing to accept for a period of time.

Then you are experiencing chastity requirements that she cares about, and you have to see if you can live by them.

If you put in more than 1 written thing that SHE has to do, it is likely the contract will become too much of a burden on her to be fun. SHe, as keyholder/ dominant, will have a lot of management responsibility even if there are no written items of her responsibility, so putting more on paper can make her job feel too much to be worth it.

 

Ok, so I've read the contract and the comments.
My question is does anyone actually use something like this?
From what I'm reading, it wouldn't appear so

 

Some of us do, in our case it is often part of the 'foreplay' to a chastity session, usually my job to write and then correct based upon her direction.

Of course these things do read like ancient Hittite Suzerainty treaties...



for example:

Parties
This agreement is offered by the patient Wife down to the husband. He was fortunate enough to be previously allowed to serve as husband to his merciful and beautiful Wife and is now offered the special opportunity to serve in a more intimate and respectful manner. This is entirely due to her great charity and kindness towards him despite his shortfalls, inadequacies and missteps.

Preamble
For quite a length of time, the marvelous Wife of husband has shown him great patience. The Wife has begrudgingly tolerated behaviors where it is clear the husband has forgotten his subservient role and has presumed the special favors he has received from his Queenly Wife. Although previously she has permitted him to freely see her nakedness, touch her without prior approval, request sexual favors and initiate sexual encounters, the Noble Wife has had to verbally castigate the husband numerous times in the past and recently. The Wife is merciful and kind, and has not chosen to take more drastic measures or outright terminate of the relationship. Despite not deserving nor having earned charity, the Wife deigns to sanction an opportunity for training and a return to proper fealty by the husband.

Demands
Wife has decided to permit the husband to enter into a period of enforced chastity by various means as decreed by the Wife. She extends the following clear stipulations for the husband to adhere to in order to receive her continued benevolence:

· Husband shall willingly, respectfully and eagerly submit to the chastity.

· Husband will adhere to the intent of chastity at all times in a trustworthy manner.

· Husband shall be constantly ready to serve the Wife in any manner she directs, including intimate requests of service or activities of a sexual nature as she may desire.

· Husband is permitted to communicate the sexual impact or effects of chastity upon himself whether physical, mental or other. At the same time he shall not request of sexual favors from Wife, nor complain of his denied pleasures in any manner.

· Husband shall communicate any valid medical or other appropriate urgent reasons the type of chastity should be temporarily suspended to the Wife. The Wife in all cases will judge and provide clear direction.

· Husband will ensure any chastity devices are kept clean and maintained, and will report any problems or failures. Husband will willingly and promptly submit to inspections or render displays as directed by the Wife.

· Husband will endure any tests and act with perfect manners should the Wife choose to dress provocatively or remain in any state of undress around him. Should the Wife choose to occasionally hold or inspect his chastity or body parts, he will maintain a sense of composure and restraint to show his subjection.

· Husband shall nightly kneel before the Wife to thank her for this merciful gesture.

· Husband shall constantly remember he neither deserved nor earned this kindness.​

Celebration
The Wife has patiently tended this direction for improved behavior and relations from her husband. Both shall celebrate this agreement by a special occasion four times a year near the First day in January, April, July and October where they will enjoy a meal prepared or selected by the husband to thankfully and reverently honor his Wife and remember the act of kindness she extended down to him. At this event, the document will be read aloud by to formally take time to symbolically renew the accord, reinforce the duties of the husband and the Wife’s expectations.

Witnesses
This document was extended to the husband by the Wife, and although no external witnesses observed the enacting of this charter, the husband will act as though it was public law. The Wife may in her judgment according to her protection and nurturing of their relationship, make this agreement known to other witnesses. The husband may make request of other witnesses to the Wife for her review and judgement.

Blessings and Curses
The husband, having received this offer of charity, shall know that his actions, demeanor and performance will result in either continued blessings or curses as deemed by from the Wife.

· Should the husband fail to act in a manner worthy of this kind offer, then the husband will promptly and willingly submit to any discipline the Wife feels is warranted for any failing either, overt or perceived. At no time will the husband refuse to submit nor complain as to the fairness of any judgment from the Wife.

· Should the husband perform his duties correctly, the Wife may extend the benefit of demonstrating punishments to assist the husband’s understanding and appreciation of his subservient role to his powerful and benevolent Wife.

· Should the husband

· Should the husband perform his duties well, he will be able to continue to enjoy the good will, compassion, and companionship of his spouse to include social time spent together and times of service to her as she deems appropriate.

· Should the husband perform his duties in an exemplary manner as deemed by the Wife, then he could expect that she might extend gifts or favors as she deems fit, which might include valuable discipline sessions, cherished time spent together, and romantic breaks.

· Albeit the husband can never earn such things, exemplary performance might even so touch the Wife as to open the door for sexual morsels such as observing her naked body, the ability to touch her intimately, or serve her in a sexually pleasing manner as she wishes. At times, the husband may even be so blessed as to be sanctioned to orgasm in a manner prescribed by the Wife.​

Inauguration
Following the time and place where this bond is formally read, verbally agreed to and then signed and placed into effect, the Wife and husband shall spend a meal or special event together to celebrate. During the event, it will be once more read aloud before themselves or any witnesses the Wife invites. In planning the celebration, the husband will present options to the Wife and, following her selection or modification, he will then make any and all arrangements, preparations, hosting and concluding chores.

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...so, it's all in good play, quit fretting over your bits...

 

We did start off with a contract: it was enabling for my wife, I guess.

So there's something to be said for setting it down so that expectations are clear.

Really you could shrink it all down to:

• Wife is in charge, with unquestioned authority, especially in the bedroom. Husband acknowledges that this won't always be fun or even interesting and will accept the rough with the smooth.
• Relationship is still a relationship, and husband is still an actual adult. Both undertake not to do anything stupid or risky.
• Wife will assign chores and will use punishment as quality control. Punishment will be kinky but sufficiently unpleasant as to be a deterrent.
• Wife has license to be selfish, unfair and whimsical. Husband will obey orders in good faith and not try to trigger punishment.
• Wife controls the chastity. Husband is responsible for all the practical aspects.
• We will review this arrangement after x months.

 

OMG! Slut Sarah, I just yesterday signed a "Contract of Ownership and Chastity" with my Mistress, and it was almost word-for-word the same as yours!! Only Wife and husband was replaced with "Mistress and slave"!
This must be something on the internet that is commonly used for contracts, (most contracts are that way).

It is a little disappointing that She did not originally write this, but I know it is perfectly aligned with Her desires, demands, and expectations of our evolving relationship. Before this, i made it known to Her that I was even willing to get a penis piercing to ensure long-term chastity, and even get a "Property Of......" tattoo on my ass for Her! So much of this was my confession of desires, and She is happy to run with it. I know I will never be in charge again, but I love submitting to Her powerful authority!
Please update us on how it is going, and I will do the same. As with anything in life, there will be good times, but also rough times.

 

IMHO the very existence of a "contract" implies negotiation which in turn implies less than complete control on the keyholders part. If someone does still feel the need I suggest Giles comments below.

 

I juat had one that i give up full control of cock and will stay locked unless of prior approval or in case of medicalemergencies.

 

I wear the cock, she owns it...

 

I do think negotiations are OK - these are Female Led Relationships, and the power exchange is often only acceptable because it happens through BDSM channels (e.g. I am happy to be my wife's slave, but not her henpecked husband).

I also think that at the start a contract can be empowering for the female partner. It sets out in black and white, "Yes, you really are in charge, you really do get to be selfish". Where it sets boundaries to her control - finances, family etc - it also reassures her that her partner will still take on adult responsibilities.

 

good perspectives I'm sure

 

It seems to me that a crucial differentiator is whether a couple wants a spicier relationship in the bedroom (only) or a power exchange across their entire relationship. The latter doesn't mean he can't take responsibility it just means it's by direction. Further he doesn't need to be directed in all things or at all times......but only that when questions arise, she has final decision authority. How each couple blends all these options is the beautiful but often confusing part.

 

Yes. I'm not sure any sort of contract is needed for bedroom-focused chastity... unless that's what floats her boat.