Confession to the wife about wearing a chastity cage

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Robbyv213, Jan 28, 2023.

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  1. Robbyv213
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    Robbyv213 Active member

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    #1 Robbyv213, Jan 28, 2023
    So today my wife sent me some sexy photos of her in some very nice lace panties and bra. All day I had the urge to masterbate. And no I wasn't wearing my cage. As some as I got.home from work I showered and locked myself up. And this is what I text my wife. I am hope that she understands and isn't mad or upset or any crazy feelings, but I know it was a lot to take in, and she will need to feel what she feels and process it. She knew I would use chastity for porn and masturbation addiction from my past. She does not know that I use it currently from time to time. What follows is what I sent her via text.

    So I have a confession to make. I've been looking at your pictures all day today. And I have really built up the urge to play with myself (which I have not). I have had addiction to porn and masturbation in the past and it's a very slippery slope for me. And more so I don't want to play with myself looking at pictures of you when I'd rather share that intimate moment with you rather than myself. So I decided to put one of my cages on to not allow myself to masturbate or I guess I should say orgasm with out you being there, being the person to make me orgasm, and or saying i can. I know you're probably thinking that I should have enough self control to not do that anyways with out the cage, and yes your right that is something I need to work up to and get better at. But for now if wearing a cage while I'm not with you helps me keep my self from masturbating for the time being than I think it's a positive thing. Again id much rather save that part of me for you and only you, rather than lessen my desire bc I played with myself. I desire only you and I want to only make that desire grow and become the strongest it can. I give my self to you. I give all of myself to you and only you. You control all of me to include my sex life, orgasms etc. Just like a commitment in marriage I commit myself to you this way as well which I hope will keep me addiction free, and being us closer together.

    I hope you understand and aren't upset or anything.

    I know that if I did masterbate especially if we're planning a weekend to ourselves I'd feel like I would have cheated you, us and our relationship. And that the last thing I want to do


    And I hope you don't stop sending me pictures. I love it when you do. And it really only makes me desire you more baby. And that's exactly what I want.

    So I am currently all locked up, and I will stay that way till you unlock me, because I am all yours, all aspects of me is yours alone baby.


    That's what I sent. I have not had a response yet. She is a nurse and works long shifts and deals with alot. I know this is something I should have had a face to face with conversation but I know I am a.much better communicator in writing than when the time comes to share and talk.

    Any advice or thoughts as to how I should proceed from here. Obviously the ball is in her court. And I will update this post as the situation develops.
     
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  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    #2 LesterBallard, Jan 28, 2023
    Good luck
     
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  3. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    #3 Caged for life, Jan 28, 2023
    Good luck, hopefully she will take to it let us know how it goes
     
  4. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    #4 IB-Chaste, Jan 28, 2023
    I think I speak for all of us here when I ask: Are you going to show us the pictures of your wife or not?

    No I’m only joking.

    There is a problem advising in this situation. You haven’t actually expressed what it is you want from this?
    Do you want to live in an FLR?
    Do you just want her to hold the key until she’s around?
    Do you just want her to be accepting that you wear the cage still?

    Feel we need a little more background. Apologies if it’s in another thread, but I didn’t see it.
     
  5. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    #5 Jay Sub, Jan 28, 2023
    Over two years in to chastity now, and personally, even when she's around I need to be caged. The slippery slope is too easy to slide up and down if it's free to rise fully. Yes, there is, or was her thought that why couldn't I control myself, which is now an acceptance that this is the way I'm built and it's worth keeping me locked to help me be better for her. Good luck. My slippery slope is now one where my orgasms are getting rarer, and I couldn't be more happy about it. The chastity slide is often more slippery than the wanky slide. Be careful what you wish for!
     
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  6. madams-sissysub
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    #6 madams-sissysub, Jan 28, 2023
    Good luck on your journey!
     
  7. Robbyv213
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    Robbyv213 Active member

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    #7 Robbyv213, Jan 28, 2023
     
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  8. Robbyv213
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    #8 Robbyv213, Jan 28, 2023
    Her response from my text.

    " I think it's amazing that you know what you need to do to not regress into old habits! I give all of me only to you baby! My one and only
    I'm not upset all. Not at all! I am pretty open and wouldn't just shut something like that down! Sometimes I just have to have you explain it to me so I understand! I want to know all of you, the ins and outs! Hiding stuff doesn't allow that and def is good for us! So thank you for sharing w me"
     
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  9. Open2njoy
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    #9 Open2njoy, Jan 28, 2023
    @Robbyv213 What a great response from your wife and possible future keyholder. I bet you’ll have some interesting conversations in the near future. It’s all part of learning to communicate.
     
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  10. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    #10 Rectrix, Jan 29, 2023
    I thought your message to her was open, honest, loving a d not scary, well-done. A d her response shows that you hit the tone right. Like all wives, she wants to be revered and to be at the center of your thoughts. Remember, she sent you the photos first, she wanted a reaction, she wanted you thinking of her. Keep being honest with her, she's told you she wants to know you, and so she needs to know that the cage helps you be a more devoted husband.
     
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  11. Servus
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    #11 Servus, Jan 29, 2023
    I can only give you an answer, if you show the pictures she sent you.
     
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  12. cogman
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    #12 cogman, Jan 30, 2023
    HA HA HA and to think I didnt think you had a sense of humor, sorry!!

    You are a very lucky man Robby

    And thats all you will get till ................. lol
     
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  13. 3DIY-4HER
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    #13 3DIY-4HER, Jan 30, 2023
    Nice message, great communication, love it, can't wait to hear more!

    I expect that seeing those pictures makes it a lot harder for you...
     
  14. Robbyv213
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    #14 Robbyv213, Jan 30, 2023
    Thanks everyone. I will keep this updated as more unfolds. But as for now she's completely fine with me being locked while we're apart but when she gets home and or when we go to bed (especially because I sleep naked) she doesn't want the cage on. But now if she decides to be a tease and then not do anything then I guess the cage will go on during bed time as well since I'd probably wait till she fell asleep and then take care of myself. Which is again defeating the purpose and will only make that addiction worse.
     
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  15. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    #15 IB-Chaste, Jan 30, 2023
    Are you happy with that arrangement? Or do you wish for more?
     
  16. chrisi-g
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    #16 chrisi-g, Jan 30, 2023
    Congratulations.
    Very happy for you about your wifes positive response.
    Being in chastity for the person you love is just amazing.
    You won't regret it.
     
  17. Robbyv213
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    #17 Robbyv213, Jan 31, 2023
    For now I am happy with it since my longest running time.undwr lock was just a few days, and I'm still playing tag back and forth trying to get my mature metal device fine tuned to get all the issues I'm having with that cage resolved
     
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  18. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    #18 IB-Chaste, Jan 31, 2023
    Ok. Well I’m a terrible person to ask for advice. So choose to ignore this, but I was trained (genuinely trained on this one!) that being uncompromising is not a negative quality.
    If you want more, then don’t accept what’s given.
    Make sure she knows that. You want more than currently she’s providing. That’s sounds unforgivable, but don’t expect that being unclear will be anything other than confusing.

    With regards to your ‘fine tuning’, I get that… you want to make sure it’s all fitting correctly. But for me, if you’ve ever broken a limb. It’s excruciatingly frustrating to wear a cast. It’s painful, it’s irritating, it feels like it shouldn’t be there. After a week or two you forget there’s any other way… a cage is the same. Given a cage with specifications for someone else’s penis, I reckon within a week or two you’d feel at home. Without choice the body adapts.

    Just make sure she knows what you want in the long term. Enjoy the journey. The destination needs to be outlined.
     
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  19. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    #19 JaySaysYes, Jan 31, 2023
    This is a wild idea but it's not too late for you to develop some self control.
     
  20. Ms Angela’s Sub
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    #20 Ms Angela’s Sub, Jan 31, 2023
    My thoughts: My attitude does a total shift when unlocked too frequently. My wife started very similar to yours…locked during the day and free every night. Over the course of a couple years she saw the benefit of longer lockups. As long as she solely has a key, and uses it only when she wishes, the end results will be the same. For now, press your self against her and pester her a little for sex every night. Eventually she WILL see a benefit in keeping you caged unless she wants you. You can probably speed up the process by occasionally asking her to keep you locked “tonight”, as you want to focus on her needs only “this time”.
     
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  21. Robbyv213
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    #21 Robbyv213, Feb 1, 2023

    Yea. Unfortunately I love to focus on her needs so I do that regardless if I'm locked or not. Lol but maybe if she were to catch me jerking it in the middle of the night etc she might be like I'm disappointed but now I see what needs to be done lol jk. I wouldn't do that on purpose could back fire. Lol just taking it day by day and I think it will grow on her.
     
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  22. ozzy-one
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    #22 ozzy-one, Feb 1, 2023
    I found this thread a little late, but let me say, I think your original text to your wife was both very honest, and brave. Breaking the ice with you SO is a very tough but necessary first step in your journey. Your letter was well said and I’m very happy to hear she accepted the idea with an open mind. Keep us posted and don’t hesitate to ask for advice if needed
     
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  23. Ms Angela’s Sub
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    #23 Ms Angela’s Sub, Feb 1, 2023
    We all enjoy focusing on “her” needs. It literally makes everything in life worthwhile. The key is saying the words…”Please don’t unlock me tonight. I REALLY want you…but I want to focus on your needs and your needs only for tonight”.
     
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  24. Robbyv213
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    #24 Robbyv213, Feb 1, 2023
    Thank you everyone for all the feed back, advice, opinions and jokes. They have all been helpful. Again I will keep this post updated as things evolve. But as for now nothing much has changed. I lock myself before I head to the gym In the morning. She is usually gone by the time I get home since she is a nurse and has the day shift. I take a picture after I shower for her to let her know usually with a text saying all locked up for you till you get home. (Since I usually get home before she does as well on her work days) she doesn't really say much about the cage just the normal there my sexy man etc. Today she asked if the cage hurts to wear or anything. I assured her that it doesn't. Just like wearing a cast at first it's kind of annoying but as you wear it longer you don't even know it's there. But that was it nothing more nothing less. I'm hoping that she begins to find it a turn on to see me all locked up and that it's all hers but she hasn't expressed anything yet as to what it does or doesn't do for her in that manner. And when she comes home she takes time to unwind. I usually don't even ask or say anything about un locking. I just wear it till bed time and then usually that's when she remembers I'm still wearing it since I go to bed naked. She will usually say something like you can take that off now, I like to feel your body when we sleep. Which is fine. My concern is that I know myself and my body pressed against hers is more than enough to get me hard and on work days (her work days) she's usually pretty tired and we don't do much before bed. So I may leave it on tonight or after she goes to bed go and put the cage back on. We'll see. But I think the pictures and her seeing me naked wearing it I hope will have a good affect on her. Especially when aroused and she see how bad I want her, but can't until she says so
     
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  25. littleguy3
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    #25 littleguy3, Feb 1, 2023
    I understand the "cast" analogy but that doesn't convey the desire that builds to break out of the "cast". If your wife is a nurse, I wouldn't want her to view it in the purely medical sense. Some women might find it a turn-on, but most will not. They need to connect it with your raging desire for her that builds when you are locked up and denied for her.
     
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