Chastity Therapists

I can see male chastity becoming a part of girls sex education, so all girls at least know about it and the benefits it can bring. It should certainly be a part of marriage guidance counselling. Although I am sure not all men would accept chastity, there are many alpha males out there.

 

At the moment, and for the foreseeable future, chastity is seen as a fetish. It may become mainstream but we're not there yet.

 

I found this article online in Mens Health. https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a36789418/male-chastity-cages/

I think this quote sums up why male chastity will never be mainstream. Note it is from a 'certified sex educator', who refers to male chastity as a kink.

For a lot of men, gender norms can lead to huge pressure to behave in certain ways—and a kink like chastity can be a safe escape from that, says Gigi Engle, a certified sex educator and author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life. “It comes, in part, from a desire to give over control, to escape from your role," she says. "One of the reasons this kink is so popular, but still taboo, is that we’re afraid of that dynamic, we’re afraid, still, of female control and dominance.”

So fellas, as much as the idea that male chastity cages would become mainstream one day, I think it will always remain and 'idea'.

 

My therapist is supportive of my need to be in chastity. Her main concern is how it affects my relationship with my Wife.

 

I think we're talking about submissive men here. Just imagine it you suggested that your typical 'macho' male be locked up. While i agree that it would solve many problems for the couple, it would create a huge problem for the therapist. Losing your license to practice for endorsing, kink, and a less than average distribution of power in a relationship would not be viewed as cool to the credentialing board. Now, if a couple wanted information on a chastity lifestyle then the therapist would be free to engage. Counselors, just as any other professional, have rules and guidelines to follow.

 

I agree!

 

Thought you might.

 

There will never be sufficient need for it. There are plenty of kink aware, kink friendly therapists. Even as a kink, chastity is now and very likely will remain niche. It doesn’t come close to either bondage or spanking in popularity.

 

So how about when a couple go to a therapist because the man cheated and they're trying to find a way forward. The man is asking for forgiveness but she's not convinced. So the therapist says to her, what if he agreed to start using chastity, would that work for you? The guy might not want to, but if it's a chance to save his marriage, he might agree.

The therapist might have to have some sessions with just the wife to teach her what she will need to know.

 

So the wife will be fine with him providing his mistress oral sex, strap on sex, strap on sex, hitachi etc., as long as he’s in chastity?

 

The idea is that chastity would help him refocus on his wife

 

Great thread. I agree with the OP that "chastity counseling" could become an invaluable aid in the success of relationships--married or not.

What's interesting to me about the "It's just a kink" commentary--which I largely agree with for the moment--is that there ARE some very straight-laced, God fearing women out there who see chastity as a genuine tool for improved male behavior.

I had a former co worker from nearly 30 years ago that started up a bit of a "pen pal" relationship with me. I confided in her my masturbation habit and the use of chastity to help combat it. She was ALL for it. She even has considered (but has yet to do) using chastity for her severely autistic son who will start masturbating in front of people. It's a bridge too for for her right now, but here she is a very serious no nonsense mother struggling with male behavior and believes chastity might be a good tool. She fully agrees it's the right thing for me.

My take: The world considers it a kink right now. But I can easily see it changing. Not sure how, but I would not be surprised if the world turns!

 

Chastity itself (not the devices) is often a religious practice, so you would think that some religious types would actually embrace using devices, if they could just get over the thinking that it's a BDSM kink that is.

 

It could just as easily help him focus on the excitement of his affair.

 

@enslavedbyc There can be no doubt of chastity can be a central part of various sexual mischief. And overall, today, I'd have to concede that male chastity IS primarily a tool of kink.

But I think the OP is trying to get us to think beyond that. CAN male chastity be applied more liberally in today's society? Perfectly? Never. But possibly? Perhaps sooner than we'd ever think.

Perhaps just fanciful thinking, but the aforementioned use of male chastity for newlywed couples could prove invaluable in maintaining a proper husband/wife relationship.

On a personal note, I wished chastity was introduced to me in the one year PRIOR to puberty Before that there'd have been no need. But if only that first masturbatory orgasm we prevented my world may look very different today. And keep in mind, if I never HAD that masturbatory orgasm--I might not have ever missed it.

 

Dude, nothing's perfect, but if you've got a situation where the wife is feeling like she can't trust him and is thinking of divorce, this might be a last "hail Mary" approach that might just save their marriage.

 

I think "yes and no" on that. Consider that there was a time that shaved genitals were considered kinky or a fetish, and now it's more of a grooming choice. Oral sex was considered "edgy". Now it's considered "expected". Pegging and Anal have gone from taboo to commonplace in my lifetime. I think it's not unreasonable for Chastity Play to make the move from "Fetish" to "Edgy" to "Commonplace". I think it's entirely feasible that in 20 more years, chastity devices aren't a surprise or dirty secret, so much as just something some couples do, and "so what?".

That said, I used the words "Chastity Play". While I can imagine that in 20 years, it would be commonplace for couples to spice up their sex play with chastity devices as much as they might with a buttplug, that's a far cry from FemDom / Enforced long term chastity / Chastity contracts. I think that will remain in the fetish world.

Regarding sex therapists discussing Chastity. Again, from a "Chastity Play" perspective, I could imagine a therapist discussing and endorsing it. From a "Enforced Fidelity" perspective, I don't think I'd ever expect to see that. It just wouldn't work. Marriages are based on trust, not hardware. The hardware is a symbol, not an absolute. Anyone with a dremel tool knows that.

 

I don't know if people actually do this, but if someone were to go to a therapist (or similar) and say "i have a masturbation problem, can you help?" I don't think it would be outrageous for the therapist to suggest a chastity device as something that might be helpful here. Maybe it's a couple seeking therapy and when they're telling their stories it comes up that he masturbates a lot and the therapist suggests this as a way to reduce that and improve their relations.

And with regards to the marriage thing, sure it's a symbol more than a true lock (though Lori devices are pretty close), but it's something that most vanilla men would not be willing to do, especially alpha/macho men, but if it's presented as the only way the wife would consider not filing for divorce, some of them would take it, and it would be a way for them to show that they're serious about trying to fix their past mistakes and commit to their marriage. Would it actually work? Who knows. But I know I have read stories here before where it was the guy posting and he said his wife made him do it as a consequence of an affair and if I recall, they were still together, so it was at least working then. And maybe the past mistake was masturbation rather than an affair?

 

A pure chastity therapist? Never, too niche, I would assume someone would want to make enough money at their job to eat.

Chastity could however be mentioned in therapy or counseling as a possible tool. I could see it as something that would increase intimacy, communication, trust, and lets face it a little excitement. A couple could learn to give without receiving, as well as receiving without giving. Believe it or not, it’s beaten into both sexes that not only do males “need” to get what they want, but females “owe it to them”. The feeling of obligated sex has been driven into almost everyone at an early age. Even if a male doesn’t want her to feel that way, she may still feel like a terrible wife/partner/woman, if she doesn’t do what she was told a necessary performance.

Lets be real here, it’s still a kink. I am over most of the fetish aspect of a chastity device. To me they are about as kinky as a duffel bag. But think back to the first time you slipped one on. Think back how you were sure it would never fit because you couldn’t stay soft long enough to cram it in there. Just because we have gotten used to it, or no longer use it as a bondage restraint for teasing, doesn’t mean it’s not a kinky toy to those first exposed.

There is value in it, it could benefit many couples regardless if they were doing this as a lifestyle or a fore play tool. Even dominant men could probably have fun and add a new perspective by wearing a device for awhile. The clique niche of chastity therapy I’m afraid, is about as likely as a poop flavored lollipop.

 

I actually have a friend who works as an idependent relationship and sex coach, though I don't believe she has professional qualifications in this area (I might be wrong!), but she does help people through chastity-related relationship matters.

I don't think she's an expert on market options but she certainly does understand the nature of a chastity-based relationship to be a valued guide to the uninitiated. I guess she's isn't professionally qualified in this area because, as has been mentioned, there are no professional qualifications specific to "our" fetish.

 

I don't think a chastity-specific therapist will ever be a thing, but I don't see why regular sex therapists and relationship counselors shouldn't embrace it and start giving advice about it.

 

I WAS speaking to a therapist on an unrelated marriage matter and mentioned that chastity was a tool used by my wife and me. She had never heard of it. But I was asked to explain things and managed to do so in a clinical way without sounding like a perv. She readily acknowledged that such a dynamic could easily work.

She was hardly shocked or dismayed. She even asked to see a photo of a device. I showed a screen print of a Holy Trainer in clear plastic. No text, just a photo. And certainly without anyone in it.

We didn't dwell on the topic because we were talking about the grieving process due to a death in the family.

 

I like where you’re going with this thought. Many women have no idea what male chastity is about, an early education could start a whole new revolution