Chastity relationship maker or breaker.

I think you ought to maintain the review date every 3 months always seemed about right to me. There can of course be a review that finds nothing is need of change or improvement and although you might not think it now it does ensure that there is at least some communication if things sre not going as you'd both hope in other areas.

 

This is a interesting thread. We have found that trying to use Chastity before we had a very solid foundation almost broke us up. However once we sorted the relationship out properly about 20 years into our marriage then with an open conversation and sensible dialogue moving to a Female led marriage which I was seeking with male chastity a significant factor have strengthened our relationship. The main difference between the failing attempt and what seems to be reasonably successful so far is attitude in think. I tried to pressure Miss in the early days and this was verity threatening to her. Now Miss knows there is no pressure about anything we are together first and foremost and everything else is abonus. We do have regular monthly reviews and I am not currently locked as Miss's does not want me locked right now but Miss's can change that as Miss wishes.

So I believe Chastity etc can improve a solid relationship but will not fix a broken one. We thanks my two penny worth

 

I have implemented your feedback to my draft for me and S to discuss, hand eventually sign... Thanks for wise input!

Re-negotiation, amendments and cancellation

• This contract will be reviewed, revised and updated , where S and A have equal votes, at 3, 6 and 12 months after signature. There after it is to be considdered permanent.
• When permanent, feedback dialogue to be held every 3-6 months. Andrew may contribute suggestions for this discussion, but S ultimately decides on the final wording of this contract. Dates for revisions are set by Sandra.
• S can cancel or amend this contract at any time.
• Andrew has no right to cancel or amend this contract.

 

I agree, if she does it because she finds it hot and sexy it is fantastic for both. If she does it as a "favour" to him it is a distaster waiting to happen.

 

Wow. Perfect. I was going to post something similar but you nailed it.

In earlier years it was all about me and my kinks, and requiring an energy level that wasn't sustainable outside a scene. I grew apart by chasing down all sorts of fetishes, and felt lonely because of it.

In the past two years, I turned it all around with my attitude. I focused on making her smile, and being kind and selfless in all manners. I bring her coffee in bed, we snuggle without expectation of sex.

It started as a kinky chastity fetish, and ended up being a long term dynamic that focuses on her. I've given up masturbation, to porn or otherwise. Everything she does for me is a gift now. She's more interested in me, and my body is always responsive and fun to tease. It makes us both happy. She has also shed guilt from denying me. She knows I'm always wanting, and that means I'm healthy and happy.

On 2-Jan, I'll have gone 500 days straight under her masturbation and orgasm control, and we've never been more loving towards each other.

I won't say that chastity itself makes or breaks a relationship. I think it can get in the way if you've got the wrong attitude.

My submission to her desires and setting mine aside remade ours. It's actually quite romantic and sweet.

 

When your own individaul variation of TTTWD is working well for the both of you it can prove to be a definite enhancement and even a maker.
Only ...If everything else is good

If all else is not good then our thing is not likely to save your relationship and certainly not on its own.

Whether you like that or not it is for the majority a certain truth.

 

I'm a switch who prefers being the dominant in the relationship but also enjoy being a sub...my gf is dominant. I purchased my device while we were on a split. When we got back together I showed it to her. We had tried chastity play before but now she is addicted to having me locked up. I'm addicted to it too. She loves knowing that I am secured and can be trained to be her pet. It has enhanced our relationship.

 

I was not sure how my wife would react as she hates talking about sex unless we are actually in bed. Our intimate life has though become amazing now that sex has been removed from the equation. My wife has been for want of a better phrase sexually liberated. She has become much more interested in sexual relations and cannot think of me ever not being in chastity. My prison has become her freedom !!

 

In a nutshell, chastity has definitely enhanced our relationship. My KH and I have been together for over 10 years and all the years have been amazing. Before we started my chastity I think things were waning a bit and calming down into a rut so to speak, not bad but anyone who has been in a long term relationship will understand what I mean. I was masturbating way to much and not giving my wife enough attention. Ironically it was porn that turned me onto chastity, I confessed everything to my wife and asked her to put me in chastity. Two weeks later she became my KH and now she is my mistress/goddess. I don't ever want to turn back, chastity has enriched our relationship and I respect my mistress on a whole new level. I've only been locked for a year but it has been one of the more rewarding years of out relationship. I love it!

 

In my relationship chastity makes it better. When I introduced the idea to her she had no idea this stuff existed but had some insecurities and often worried that some other girl would tempt me. Initially I told her if she was really that worried I'd wear a chastity belt for her and give her the keys. I could tell the idea intrigued her and even turned her on so we looked at them online and one day on our way to the beach I showed her I had one on (Curve) and gave her the keys. After that we discussed metal cages and even piercings in which I got both.

From there it got more and more serious but we still have a hard time with it being 24/7. She loves seeing my dick locked and even more so it struggling in the cage. I send her pictures of it locked from school, driving, or even at the grocery store when she is not with me and she loves that. She even tells me to sometimes as well. I know she prefers me to be in the cage and honestly I do to but we just haven't gotten in the groove where it works for us 24/7. She also has a hard time saying no when I am locked and lets me out fairly easily partially because she loves to make me cum and wants to have sex as well. Afterwards I usually don't want to go right back into the cage which I read is fairly common.

One thing we need to do is bite the bullet and order a cage made for me and my measurements vs used cages and sizing being off. Maybe we need to do the collar or cuffs thing to ensure the cage goes right back on. We also need to find a cage that I can wear in federal buildings when I need to get through metal detector so I am not cageless those days.

Overall I think chastity is here to stay. In fact I am going to suggest using it as a motivator to get back into shape as we both recently joined a new gym and she wants to start doing bikini and fitness competitions and I just want to get back into the condition I was when I was active duty.

 

Just saw my post in this thread from a long while ago. My how things have changed since then! My Girlfriend is now my Mistress Wife and instead of being a couple thousand miles away, we now live together. She loves having me inside her, loves how it feels, but she's starting to enjoy the power she has over me even more. A couple weeks ago I commented that She had never made good on her promise to keep me locked up for a couple weeks and that She has pretty much been giving in whenever I try getting persuasive to let me out and have my jollies. She retorted that I could expect that to change.

Soon after, she locked me up and made a list of chores for me to do before I "will ever get out again." That was Sunday night before last, and even though I have finished most of the list now (that She has kept adding to) she stubbornly refuses to let me out. She won't even allow me to play with my nipples because that is a form of self pleasure. If I were to do it without permission, she would give me a severe beating, and perhaps lengthen my time. When She does let me out, she has said She has no intention of letting me have an orgasm for a while, as she wants it to be nice and plump and juicy when I make a mold of it to make a dildo for Her from.

Time will tell how this plays out, but that remark I made seems to have been another turning point. She seemed very lackadaisical about it before, but seems very serious now.

 

Thanks for resurrecting this thread @Lockedwithlove, it has been a really good read. It is a shame the person who started it isn't at the mansion any more to see it starting up again.

Chastity has changed my Marriage, no doubts about it, and possibly it has saved it. It has brought my Wife and I closer together and we are enjoying a sexual revival. We have been together for 28 years, married for 25 and as has been mentioned our relationship had become 'standard'. Now I would say our relationship is stronger than ever.

We have only been doing this for four months now although it feels like much longer. I have written extensively about the why we started so I won't repeat that, but we had come very close to divorce. In those four months my Wife has settled into being the Keyholder and had a good amount of fun with it. It has been the motivator I needed to lose weight, I am just over 15 stone now and was nearly 17 stones at the start of the year. I have started cross dressing with my Wife's encouragement and I am really enjoying the experiences that chastity has brought us.

I realise how lucky I am that when I introduced my Wife to the idea of me wearing a chastity device she immediately said yes. I have read of partners who are indifferent or downright hostile, I wish those women could meet and talk to my Wife. They would give this a go and never look back.

 

Perhaps I should add that the reason I am wearing a chastity device is so my Wife does not have to see my Penis. This is probably a different reason to most others who start chastity, but I wear a device that was chosen specifically because it covers up my glans. I am getting a Looker 2 next specifically as that does the same thing, and then hopefully a belt like the Neosteel Arch which again does the same thing. The Arch also has the advantage of giving me a flatter profile making women's clothes fit better.

It has been said that chastity will not save a broken relationship and while I agree I do think it was a huge part of why my Wife and I managed to stay together. It has helped my Wife as she does not need to see my penis which helps her, and it helps me as she now directs her passions over the rest of my body instead. I get touched way more than before and I absolutely love it. It is my own fault she has had the reaction to my penis that she has and I am lucky to get any attention from her at all!

 

May I ask what the underlying reason for Her not needing to see it is? If you would rather not say, please just ignore the question, and sorry if you already have elsewhere and I missed it or don't remember.

 

I

I miss her very much too. It is good seeing it come back to life.

 

As we got older and our libidos decreased, we were not able to keep up our old sexual lifestyle. We did not know anyone to play with anymore and old age made us less mobile in bed. I looked for something that did not involve others or whips or chains and found teasing and denial. It fed my sexually submissive needs without the red stripes and bruises. We started to have sex less often and when we did, it was usually masturbating next to each other.

I looked for something non vanilla we could do that addressed both my encroaching ED and my wife's inability to have intercourse anymore. We found something we both liked in Teasing and Denial. This appealed to my sexually submissive side and allowed my wife to enjoy sex her way and at her time. When my wife increased my denial time I told her that I could not guarantee that I would not masturbate after a few weeks so she told me to buy a chastity device. I started with the CB6000, like many, but as weeks of denial turned to months, the CB broke twice by wearing it 24/7. I tried a few other off the shelf devices before biting the bullet and getting a Jailbird.

We started year 4 of chastity in January and this time my wife says she will let me orgasm more often. At my age I do not know how much longer I will even be able to have orgasms. I have friends with Prostate cancer who cannot have sex anymore so I really do not want to give up too many orgasms anymore. For the first 2.5 years, orgasm denial did change my behavior. I was always a good husband and when I tried to do more my wife said I was smothering her with too much attention. When I tried to do more around the house, my wife said that I was taking away her areas of responsibility and she is not a do nothing kind of gal. She is a bundle of energy and can fit a busy social life in with being a good housekeeper and cook. I think the only thing that really changed is that she gets more massages from me aside from what she says are the most intense orgasms of her life. That is saying a lot considering how and with how many, she has orgrasmed in the past.

I would say that life without the feeling of sexual arousal each day, feels boring and low energy. I rather have the feeling of being half way to an orgasm every day than to the 10 seconds of an orgasm followed by a week or two of feeling listless and bored. It took my wife two years to get over the guilt of denying me and not making sure that I had an orgasm every time we had sex. Now she teases me until I am moaning in sexual frustration and begging to cum because it sexually excites her enough to grab a vibrator and while holing my manhood, give herself and orgasm or two before locking me up.

We never had a D/s relationship. D/s was confined to the bedroom and often with other not just between the two of us. The only time my wife has control is in the bedroom, which is basically back to where we started before chastity play began. My wife enjoys the T&D aspect a lot. I enjoy the constant feeling of sexual arousal and edging. I guess I am more prone to disagree with my wife but I am still the dominant one in our marriage and that is the way my wife wants it.

 

That's beautiful! What an amazing story! I enjoyed reading that immensely, thank you!

 

I love how you have found balance in your own way, and ignored all the advice and books and so on that say that you HAVE to do t&d in a particular way. My Wife would also hate it if I tried to do everything around the house and I would soon find out how annoyed she was if I tried.

 

Over 9” hard. I hate it!