Chastity: Punishment or Privilege?

I could see how chastity lock up is a privilege, their partner is not really into it and doing it for him. Thus being kept locked is by in large a favor.

Since my kh actually enjoys keeping me locked even more than I do, me being locked is more of a natural state and not a punishment, and unlocking is the privilege...not considered a right but a gift.

On the other hand, if she felt slighted or miffed about something, I could see her using it as a punishment. We were playing last week and I slapped her butt a few times, and when she was getting out of bed. I was about to do it again and she said “one more time and you’ll be caged for a year”.

 

A bit of both.

 

A wise balance of the two builds a firm foundation to carry forward.

 

For me, it is a great privilege to be accepted by a great Mistress/KH to be her toy and bitch in chastity, leaving my pleasure and orgasms at her will and only focus on her pleasure and happiness.
Also extending the time caged by bad behavior, disobedience and poor performance is a punishment that the Mistress/KH can include in its discipline menu.

 

Think my answer will be the shortest, as it simply is: yes!

 

Breathe.

I have a question you might want to add to your OP or pose as another one of your mini surveys.
It is probably (but not exclusively) aimed at couples that have been doing TTTWD for a considerable length of time where the duration of their average denial period is probably measured in months rather than days.

The post-orgasm Drop is (or is potentially) a negative thing for both parties. It (potentially) takes him some time to get back to 'normal' ie: all his feelings having returned to the pre-orgasm state. And for his KH his general demeanour returning to his, often far more preferable for her, pre-orgasm state can take far longer that she would like and/or is comfortable with.

With the above in mind a consider also how long it takes to develop the mind set where being both locked and denied is (or may become) your preferred state

The question is not perhaps one that might be expected.

For either party do you consider allowing, or being allowed to orgasm, a privilege or a punishment?
Just thought I'd run that by you.

 

Could be both simple trust me

 

For the two of us the answer is neither of the above. Orgasms are our right whenever and with whomever we choose. As for Ian he is privileged to be allowed an orgasm whenever and with whomever WE choose.

Love
Jane & Janet
XX

 

I like this one, but I'd change it a little bit for us. I'd add "discipline", since it's mainly what I use it for. I do use chastity to punish him for disobedience. I have decreed he's to get his sexual delight only from me. He can have it any time he wants it, all he has to do is ask (unless he's in chastity or under discipline). If he disobeys, there are consequences. One of the consequences is denial of sexual delight for him (not for me, of course). It's my privilege to decree what his punishment will be for disobeying me: chastity, humiliation, spanking or any combination.

He first gave me the privilege of p utting him in chastity for my peace of mind. For me, it's a privilege, for him it's a punishment.

 

I consider it an honor to be locked. It was a real struggle at first which seemed to be a punishment but after time went by it made me feel fantastic mostly because she enjoyed it so much. Now I couldn't imagine life being unlocked and free to touch myself at will. It's both a privilege and honor for me to be kept locked in chastity.

 

Chastity is so elastic. An owner is smart to use it in reality and fantasy. Use it as a platform for punishment, rewards, excitement, and control. Everything you say and do as a woman just gets amplified.

As for me personally, I like the woman in control. Her control is priority #1 one. Next, to more directly answer your question: extended chastity is a punishment and/or a physical-mental challenge.

Going months or years without an orgasm is not our thing -- but the fantasy or threat thereof is very exciting.

 

The Privilege.

I used to masturbate every day. Sometimes, just once. Other times, 2, 3, 4 times a day. It wouldn't take long to get to orgasm. Sometimes the entire ordeal would only take a minute. Sure, it felt good. But I didn't know what great felt like. Not until I met my Wife. All that senseless masturbation and those wasted, trivial orgasms were never truly satisfying now that I know what satisfying actually feels like.

Giving Her complete control has proven to be beneficial for us both. My focus and attention to the details of pleasing Her, without the distractions that erections cause are gone. She has shown me that working for orgasms and not giving into the immediate urges to obtain them makes the ones I do have monumental. In other words, quality over quantity. For Her, She gets a pet who has found an undying urge to please Her by doing as She says. As She wants. By using the training She has administered over the four years we've been together. Now, with being locked, when I think about being erect or the possibility of Her playing or using our cock, I dismiss the thoughts quickly and replace them with thoughts of using my other tools to please Her.

None of this is punishing. None of this feels like a restraint mechanism. It feels like a tool used to keep my focus where it needs to be in order to maximize happiness in our relationship. When the time comes that She decides my focus can be on my own arousal, it feels like time has completely stopped and all the work and focus I've maintained pays off as She rewards me for my efforts. She introduced these methods. This arrangement. This direction.

All of this feels as though it's a privilege because I always dreamed of having a dominant while never truly believing I ever would. It's a privilege because not abiding by the guidelines She has set would lead to the loss of something I hold onto for dear life. I'd lose the true sense of happiness that has replaced my false sense of happiness. To me, that's a privilege to have that I have only Her to thank.



The Punishment.

There is no denying that it feels good to roll over while I'm sleeping and mindlessly grind myself to erection. Falling asleep with an erection had been something I'd done for years. Waking up with a raging hard-on and turning over to grind against the small of my Wife's back was something that became habitual very quickly for me. It's probably the thing I miss the most. Thinking about the big picture of being a person with a cock and a mind for the less than vanilla and unable to listen to my Wife say things that make me hard, in seconds, but unable to grind that erection or fuel it...is frustrating. All of the above, I would call the punishment.

I don't really have much to consider with regards to chastity being a punishment. Quite frankly, for us, it's not. It's never felt like it aside from the times where the mentioned scenarios have struck me strong enough to make me grind my teeth in frustration. But, even in those cases, my will to submit to Her control prevails.

 

It is self punishment and a privledge to have a key holder free you from yourself.

 

Chastity and orgasm denial go hand in hand, by keeping all that energy within your body you can become better.....you have more energy, are kinder and so many other things. Its certainly not a punishment, although before I understood I thought it was, its a door way to something more......

 

All good points, but to me it comes down to either you are trying to enhance sex or prevent it.
For me by limiting when I get released makes it so much better when I do.

 

It is just control, and I allow it so she will be happy so simple

 

I adore your avatar.....are you sure YOU allow it.....lol

 

Possibly neither, or possibly both.

But what it really is is a means of self-discovery. There is no wasted time, no excess of testosterone, just you and your thoughts.

 

I wonder if it creates more focus,I like to write,but need motivation to get it down on paper,,well on the screen anyway

 

well if I think I allow it is that ok

 

yes, I agree with that. Uncaged I will wander off into inappropriate areas of he internet. Caged, I remain focused on the page in front of me.

 

I like this

reply....thank you.

 

lol, yes it is....

 

For me, it's unquestionably a privilege.