My wife and I live a 24/7 consensual, D/s power exchange relationship. Since we've discovered this lifestyle, we couldn't imagine living any other way, or going back to the way we lived before. We've hit some rough patches alone the way, and It took some time for both of us to embrace it. It was during that time of discovery where chastity was the star of the show. Now that we're all in though, the chastity cage doesn't play as big of a part as it did before. The cage is now only used as a punishment for wrong doings, and I truly see it as such. When she threatens me with it, my behavior changes almost instantly. My wife tells me that we'll be participating in locator and I am dreading the 30 plus days I'll be spending in captivity. I think chastity was hot and interesting before because neither of us truly embraced the lifestyle, and it was the one constant I could rely on. She didnt have to actively participate in my kink if my dick was locked up, because the cage gave me her attention by proxy. Now that it is her kink too, I'm more focused on the bigger picture of submission. The faux attention I was receiving from the cage doesn't compare to the real connection we have now. Theres also the added benefit of when we play together, the mutual pleasure we get by using all of our bodies is beautiful. She even trusts me enough to allow me to play with myself whenever I want. Of course I'm not allowed to have an orgasm without her permission. The only requirement is that I tell her when I do, and send pictures via text. So I'm curious, how many others only see enforced chastity as a true punishment (not funishment), and would rather be free than locked up?
There is no right or wrong way to do this... As long as it is working for the people involved. For my wife and I, we do it because it helps our relationship. She doesn't have a "high sex drive" and I do, but this is a good way to balance things out. I don't look at it as a punishment, it is just a dynamic that helps line us both up.
In my case it is a punishment for years of jerking off behind my wife's back. I have learned my lesson, but my wife doesn't think so. In November it will be 4 years of lock up with total denial. No hint of it ever ending.
In the past, when I was allowed to have orgasms with a different RL Mistress, chastity was a substitute for the will-power I lacked for long term denial. We both loved the control it gave her because we both knew how (truly) earth shattering my eventual release would be when she finally unlocked and gave permission. When it did finally happen it was not unusual for me to be crying in her arms with many overlapping emotions (love, gratitude, relief; admiration, devotion, etc. etc. etc.)
I feel naked without a cage, Don't get me wrong, there can sometimes be an immediate physical feeling of "relief" in removing my cage. ...but I will usually start missing it very quickly (maybe an hour or two) I could be punished by taking my cage away.
I agree! There is no right or wrong way to play with chastity, it’s down to each individual/couple! Just go with what works for you!
Very similar here. For us, it can be used as punishment, but it normally is just used as a way to get and hold my attention. The sub-drop pretty much disappears because the cage is a constant reminder. And damn, I love that.
I used to feel the same way, feeling naked without the cage. Sometimes being without it lead to a drop.
We came to the realization that after being denied for a long period of time, and orgasm would often lead to a massive drop. My wife also used the cage as a means of preventing drop. Because she knows I have no desire to put it on, it tricks my brain into holding on to some of those endorphins. She calls me a junkie because I crave the chemicals my body produces during and after play.
Well I made the mistake of confessing to her about my masturbating. I told her that I had a solution and that was chastity. I had already bought a device off line and had it locked on me. I handed her the keys and she took them and told me to get use to that thing, cause it's never coming off again. Well I figured in a couple of days she would cool off, now almost 4 years later it's still locked. She even went on line to get a more secure device a custom cage from Lori. Been locked in that for the past 3 years. When she gives out a punishment she definitely means it.