Chastity mansion and the Bridge to Vanilla?

Sadly I think such a forum/site would seriously struggle for membership. While I would personally like to see chastity become accepted, even the norm, in the vanilla world I think we must accept that at best it is a niche interest.

That's not helped by the fact that so many males are interested for all the wrong reasons - their desires, their sexual gratification, their fetishes and tend to lose sight of the fact that chastity should in fact be about power sharing, affection, trust and putting the needs of your partner before your own. For them it tends to be a sex game, not a lifestyle choice - seen as a way to get more rather than less sexual attention. That's whay we see the types of content you refer to - produced by males to appeal to the male idea of chastity.

There are some who see things the way you do. They tend to be the serious, long term participants who have made a genuine commitment to the lifestyle and more importantly to their partner. There are not really many of them, and until that number reaches a critical mass and the lifestyle content starts to outweigh the fetish content it will be very hard for any forum or site with that ethos to survive.

Perhaps if CM were to offer 'vanilla' section, heavily moderated, with all fetish related content banned that was the default for all new users (with an option to switch to the full site of course) it might slowly discourage the more overly fetishistic content - at the least it would keep such material in a place where only those who chose to view it woukd see it.

The downside would be a possible drop in the profile of the site and in visitor numbers... only admin would be able to say how that would fit with the site ethos & their plans for CM in general.


(Edit for typos, written on a tablet)

 

Long term chastity wear won't become mainstream until devices become secure. Right now, you have to be kinky not to cheat and pull out - unless you are pierced, which is by definition kinky!

However, short term is already creeping into the mainstream bedroom - Oxballs already do a rubber one! Initially people will use them as passion amplifiers. However, I can imagine younger couples using them ostensibly to set boundaries, pretty much the way girls in my day would make a boyfriend keep on his briefs, or even get into swimming trunks.

 

Lets start by looking at what is currently loading to the new person .... see attached image ... I think that it becomes pretty self explanatory why the topics that continually show up keep showing up ... they are being encouraged.

So as I have stated numerous times if you want there to be an area that is women / vanilla / less kink friendly ... you must restructure the forum ... you also must not alienate your current members ... this is why I use the term "split" the forum leave the areas that are her and as you suggested start a new section that is less about kink and more about lifestyle.

As we are all aware the kink will continue to bring lookers and those that find their way past the kink / role play will have a place to grow / move to, and those that are not into the kink and are looking at it from a lifestyle will have a place from the beginning and not have to struggle through the kink.

So to answer the question ... yes of course, without alienating those already here.

 

Just a note. My Neosteel is Very secure, so what you ask for already exist...

 

As much as chastity is part of our lifestyle...it’s fun! It’s about sex, maybe not penetration but for us it is certainly about sexual attention and giving. By both mind you. This isn’t a one way street, and this “lifestyle” would get exceptionally tedious, and resentful, if it was only just an accessory to help me keep a promise.

She is under no pressure to let me out, tease me, play with me etc...but then again she loves me, and she more than likely won’t hurt me by ignoring me. It’s evolved into something she enjoys, and some of that is pretty kinky too.

Comparing a fashion forum to a chastity forum because people into bdsm wear clothes has no bearing on what this site is or what it’s about to the people interested in it. It’s has all those filthy little tidbits in there because it’s about control. Doing things or told to do things that are a bit taboo are an expression of losing control. It’s not about cross dressing, cum eating or hot wives. It’s about being able to let go of social norms and submitting to someone else. What better way than to reduce your pride, submit, and do something you are not supposed to do.

Maybe I am a minority here, but male chastity isn’t some religion, path to enlightenment, or even a gesture to the opposite sex because they are all so wonderful. To me chastity is fun because I love being turned on, I love seeing her happy, and in general, I am a better partner when I am all subbie. My ability to communicate and be open and honest go way up, and the odds of me being selfish go way down.

I would rather chastity be known for kiny fun, that helps couples restore trust, communication, and lots of sex, than some cult application preening about how to serve your female to reach enlightenment. Ba humbug. I will take a thread about someone urinating in someone’s mouth before reading on and on how they never ask a thing from their goddess, that they are worthless men hoping their service is enough to give them the honor of their presence. My wife makes all the decisions, she has all my money, I would never dare disagree with her, I don’t even need a cage because the mere thought of disappointing her makes it impossible to become arroused.

So for us, this lifestyle, and yes it is one since we don’t plan on stopping, is about sexual fun, Sexual dominance, and yes more sex not less. It may not be more orgasms , but for us it’s certainly about me keeping sex on my brain all day, and the effect of that.

 

I think you nailed it in the above sentence.

 

I don’t see a problem trying to make the site more palatable newcomers. As long we try not to let it be at the expense of the existing community. Sections, or an “advanced” area, (or maybe a newcomers area?) or however it settles out, seems a pretty harmless thing and if you guys really think it will help newcomers feel more comfortable, then what the hell.

On a more macro note though, I’m still super skeptical that the type of people that find themselves here and stay long enough to learn areas of the site would be that sensitive to kinks that are not to their liking. And if they are, I can’t imagine anything making them “comfortable” here, at least not without destroying what CM is. CM is a destination for those in this lifestyle, so I think it’s important to honor that. Turn it into a bridge, sure, but do so without losing the destination, and I think things will be fine.

When we came here we considered ourselves kinky. But being here and being exposed to things we once considered way too extreme for us, and even gross, has lead us to some of the most fun we’ve ever had while experimenting with those very things. Most of it hasn’t become integral to our sex lives, some things have. But if you’re the type whose willing to try anything, then the more you’re exposed to the better. That’s us. But if you’re the type who is literally scared off by the site or mention of kinks other than your own, then maybe we should accept that CM isn’t for that type of person.

So yes, if you can find a way ease these proverbial “vanillas” into what goes on here in a way that results in more membership, without diluting or destroying the one place many of us have to share and learn about some very non-vanilla topics, then for sure it’s a win win.

Should be an interesting journey either way.

 

I agree, the destination is not the problem, only the bridge ...

I know people that "want" to be open to new ideas, but let what society says is taboo persuade their ability to ever get past the bridge to the destination ... they see something from the bridge and turn back. I have always felt (not just here at CM) that every bridge should be designed to encourage patrons to the destination by keeping in mind what kinds of constraints society may be putting on them. While the internet does remove most of the social stigma, it all comes racing back as soon as you share the website with anyone, even your KH / spouse / etc. So again the bridge (what the non member sees when first visiting) can be constructed in a way that keeps that in check, and can even suggest the first areas to visit.

I personally would take advantage of the base URL Chastitymansion.com and place information there to welcome those that are not signed in or not members (currently you are re-directed from there to the forum)... doing this allows the "bridge" to be constructed in a way that guides the new person to the Forum (currently where everyone ends up chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php no matter what the type) in a way that takes all current and future users into consideration.

 

Reminds me of this image. The Mansion in the middle of the water, sitting right at the edge. Then this bridge appears and connects it to it's surroundings bringing stability and of course, more traffic flow. The Mansion and what goes on inside of it have never changed. The only thing that has changed is the path to the mansion. You don't have to jump in the water to reach the mansion...you can casually walk down the bridge at your own pace.

 

Good point! However, I don't think full belts will ever go mainstream because of practicality and cost.

 

They look fantastic! Less so the rear "waste disposal" arrangements.

 

I completely agree with you Miss Amanda and I'm glad that you're leading this must needed conversation. I think at a time where society is finally confronting the sexual harassment of women, we have a big role to play in promoting male chastity and its many benefits. Remember, many things that were once taboo not long ago have become mainstream once most people realized the benefits. I once convinced a woman online to push for male chastity in her relationship. She was pleading for help with her boyfriend who was into porn and masturbation and had never even heard of male chastity before, it was breaking my heart to read, I felt I had to offer help. I think the key is to bring more women on board and women tend to listen to other women on matters of sexuality. We should also do what we can to address the initial hesitation women have to the idea of male charity - "I trust my husband", "that looks cruel", "he shouldn't have to wear a device", "my husband doesn't masturbate", "his masturbation isn't denying me anything", "how will I get my pleasure", "he'll never agree to it", "it's my job to keep him sexually satisfied". I think the more comfortable, less ashamed, and proud we are with this lifestyle of male chastity, the more recognized, accepted, and mainstream it will become. I think if we do we we can to make this a reality then one day soon a very large percentage of men in relationships will be locked in male chastity devices and women and society as a whole will benefit greatly.

 

This seems very secure and practical from a weight and long term wearability perspective, it doesn't look like it can be slipped out of and even accommodates a PA for additional security, but there needs to be an "exit" in the back for it to be truly practical long term. A very good step in the right direction.

 

I have been locked in a Neosteel with a wire in rear most of the time sins the beginning of 2014. The wire is no problem for long term 24/7 wear.

 

Thank you for sharing this Mistress Amanda. With the recent exposure about all the predatory males I think we have an opportunity to redefine relationships on a healthier more woman centric model. You help us all find new ways.......thank you so much.

 

Yes Mistress Amanda - I think it is time for a change and I would like to volunteer to assist any women who are ready to lead us. Thank you again for your vision. V/r,s

 

There's a lot to be said for some of this.Plenty of food for thought. I think we may have the embryo of it already

 

Perhaps a Forum Titled "For the Curious New Comer". Or two one for the curious male one for the curious female. The journey for us began when my wife discovered: http://iplayhewaits.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-play-while-he-waits-try-it-youll-like.html

She showed the website to me and had me read a few articles. After reading 4 or 5 I asked my super vanilla wife if that is what she wanted. "Do you want me to be a cuckold? I asked. She said, "To be able to play with other men while you remain totally faithful to me, Hell ya, what woman wouldn't want that"?

This article was very eye opening to me.
The Science of Cuckold Marriages - by Susan Grower...
http://iplayhewaits.blogspot.com/p/science-of-cuckold-marriages-by-susan.html

 

There is a craft to getting to where you want on Search engines .... the first thing that you must do is pick the terms you want to be found for ... once you do that you must ensure that those search terms show up exactly on your website not just the words independently ... for example malechastityjournal.com shows up in the top 5 (after paid for links) for male chastity ... Next you must make sure you are not looking at a skewed search result (because of setting you may have on your Google search profile such a location preference currently known as "private results") ... to see what google is currently looking at use site:chastitymansion.com this will then let you look at the pages it feels are relevant and then you can get a better idea of what search terms google is currently relating to CM ... there are lots of google tools Google Analytics etc. that help with all this ... I assume someone already has set up the site with an account (because there is an account associated with the website ... UA-83552036-1) and that you just need access to the account to see the info.

 

@Mistress Jules was not searching for Chastity Mansion. She looking to see what results came up for Male Chastity.