Chastity frustrating

Discussion in 'Other fetishes' started by mch2323, Nov 27, 2017.

  1. mch2323
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    mch2323 Member

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    Is there anyone out there that just likes being locked up? I enjoy the frustration and the feeling of pressure on myself..
    I get upset when people associated chastity with being a sissy, being in a FLR or Cuckhold. I just enoy the frustration and the release. Keeps me horny longer especially when I want to take a long time masturbating.
     
  2. DonnaSue
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    DonnaSue Well-Known Member

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    The inability to masturbate is pretty frustrating, but, when the cage is off, there is nothing I seem to want more than to be caged once again! Go figure!
     
  3. ineverknew
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    ineverknew Well-Known Member

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    yes sir. I would say if you enjoy it then go with it. No-one says you have to do anything you dont want to. Not everyone is into sissy cuckold stuff and there a lot of us who aren't even into FLR or femdom.
     
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  4. chastitylocked24
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    chastitylocked24 Just love being locked up

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    I agree with you. I love the feeling of just being locked away and the frustration it provides and stops me masterbating which is better for our sex life. I am mainly self locked but my wife is now starting to hold the key at times which give a different dimension. However I do agree with you that chastity information can lead you to think that being a sissy etc is the next step which is not where I want to go. However there is nothing wrong if that is the case for other people.
     
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  5. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    My wife and I did chastity for 5 years with none of that stuff you mentioned. However, you are not really doing chastity. You are doing self imposed celibacy which is why you are not going to find many people who can share you experience here. Chastity starts off with an exchange of power. You give someone else control over your orgasms. Without that, it is not chastity, it is something else. Not something lesser but just not chastity. The other thing is in chastity you still have sex even when locked up but no orgasm until your keyholder allows it. You have no keyholder so you get to cum whenever you want.

    You are correct about how locking up will increase your desire for orgasm though. Most of us, at least the ones doing it for real, have keyholders and there is a dynamic between us and our keyholders to whatever extent we decide. You are both prisoner and warden and that usually does not result in long time play. Check out fetlife.com as they have a lot of young single guys who self lock and support each other. You will find a lot more in common there than here. For us it is not the cage that is chastity, but rather it is the promise we make to our keyholders.

    I am not putting down what you do as it does exactly work as you say and many of us have gone solo with our fetish play at one time or another until we could find a play partner. What I am saying is that your focus is on wearing your cage and real life chastity does not even require being locked up but we all certainly enjoy it just like you do. The difference is like when I used to whip and sexually torture myself and call it S&M until I met couples into S&M and realized that it was not about what kind of whip I used or how hard I hit myself, it was about the dynamic between the couple, surrendering some part of you to another person that you trust and hopefully love. It is about someone else having control and not you. They share the equipment in common but what I was doing was not S&M, it was self flagellation but I did not realize that until I could not find many who shared my experience. Good luck and best advice I can give you is to devote your time to find someone who is sexually adventurous that will like to be your keyholder. You are not going to go out and find a girl into chastity. The best you can hope for is to get a girlfriend who likes to try new things and then teach her all about chastity.

    Just be aware that the excitement of being locked up does wear off and few last very long online without an keyholder. They come and they go quickly since they are missing out on all the good stuff of chastity, the lack of control over your own penis, edgings over and over again that your KH controls, not you. Orgasm denial that you have no say in and lots of sex to keep you aroused at a fever pitch all the time. I am in chastity and not locked up. I was locked for 5 years but no need to be anymore. Have fun but check out fetlife.com as you will find a lot of guys same as you. When you self lock it is like being a third wheel on a date. All three of you have the date in common but you are left out of the other 80% of the stuff that will happen as a result. :)
     
  6. mch2323
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    mch2323 Member

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    Agreed I was self lock for a few months then I introduced it to my wife which seemed to love for a few months then she was not interested in it anymore. So now I’m back to self lock when I can. But I totally understand what your saying and appreciate your input.
     
  7. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    I think that is one of the special things about chastity, it can be used in so many other kinks and as a stand alone fetish. Personally I love the denial bit, I am not bothered about dressing or cuckolding, all I want is a manly man who can take a beating. Oh wait, I have that already lol.
     
  8. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Mistress Jules, live and let live. Enjoy what works for you and take from it as much fun and love there is. No rules on what chastity needs to symbolise, we are all different. I love my jack caged and soon we'll be off to Hedo 2 for some real beach exposure. he is confident enough in his own skin to own what he has.
     
  9. CZSteve
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    CZSteve Caged Submissive to my Beautiful Wife/KH n2toys

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    To each his/Her own.
    I enjoy being locked and under control of my Goddess @n2toys - not at all into sissyfication, cuckolding, or anything of that nature; just enjoy BDSM and being locked - I still feel I'm very much a male, just a better husband now :)

    I don't have any problem with what others have regarding their kinks but do agree it's not fair to paint everyone with a broad brush.

    Best
     
  10. ducksnake
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    ducksnake Member

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    Yeah, I'm no sissy, don't ware womens underwear etc, but am certainly a sub in the bedroom. I'm only getting into it now, but I'm LOVING the pure kink side of just having my dick locked up. The ever-present kink you can ware to the shops. I'd love for my boyfriend to take on the role of keyholder, this would play into the bondage and domination kink as well... But again, sissfication not really a present factor here at all...
     
  11. Chauncy
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    Chauncy Member

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    I self lock so it's not directly about submission or FLR for me. Well before I discovered chastity devices I enjoyed the feel of cock rings and such. A chastity device adds a bit of denial to it. There also some excitement when wearing it outside the house.
     
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  12. Patsey Belle
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    Patsey Belle Your servant Miss!

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    I love this discussion because it's about some of my favorite things, tease and denial, anticipation and frustration! Nothing better than some of your ideas like the feeling of a tight chastity cage when reading some of your posts or viewing the elegant sophisticated female photo's that are captioned brilliantly for maximum imagination! You fellow members and the CM staff provide me with the best feelings. Thank you all, my 3.5cm cage is full with the delicious denial!
     
  13. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    I am with you on this even though my wife is my keyholder. We just enjoy teasing and denial. My wife does not care if I am locked up as long as I do not masturbate. I enjoy being locked up. It makes me horny and eager for sex plus is a speed bump to give me pause before I do what I promised not to do. I too like the feeling. However, there are no more chastity forums that are not D/s oriented. This place is run by a professional dominatrix and the opening splash screen will attract single males without a key holder, which is the largest audience for chastity and a good marketing choice.

    The problem is that I have a wife/keyholder so I am not looking for one nor do I want to be surrounded by women, who may or not may be really females since most are not vetted. I treat all women here as people and not specifically as females because all but a few hide behind anonymity. There are several ways to prove you are a female without revealing who you are. I think most forums are afraid to vet the females because they attract the single guys and if vetted, most may not make the cut.

    My days here are numbered. Last time this place was run by Mistresses, many left. The forums are now filling up with wannabes pretending they are in chastity, men posing as women and single guys looking for a female domme or living their sex life online looking for masturbation fodder. Your view of Chastity will naturally be through the eyes of a dominatrix while most of us real players have wives or steady girlfriends and just want to discuss chastity with other guys. I see 40,000 members but that is meaningless since anyone can become a member, post once and never come back. What is more important is how many members still post? My old account is still here and it is counted as a member and the same is true with all the others that signed up and then disappeared. Wi th chastity forums dropping like flies over the last few years, I wonder how much longer this one will last. I think the best chance is to cater to the single guys who are looking or just playing online. The ones who claim their chastity cages are welded shut or are treated badly as slaves. Time will tell. My guess is that the forurrm will attract the same crowd that Fetlie does. They will come in blazing and leave just as quickly but the membership count will increase as a result but repeat customers will not. I am curious as to how many will donate money. My guess is few. This place has become a playground where a new member can post any fantasy online and be taken as real. My experience is that those who believe posts that read like copies of porn stories, tend to be playing the same game themselves.

    Hope I am wrong, but I have been at this a long time and see the trends and lost of everyone I knew just two years ago. Fetlife is a playground for single horny men in many of their forums. Most times I feel like I am just replying to someone who is playing games here. When I was very active in BDSM, ourselves and those we played with did not post about it. Too many fakers out there.
     
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  14. muffin
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    muffin LadyDez's little locked muffin

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    I was heavily into BDSM before I even knew what chastity was. CBT, denial, orgasm control, servitude, humiliation, anal, and bondage was already there for me. I remember being tied up and eating ravioli out of a doggie dish while plugged. There was a little plate to catch my drippings that I had to lick up before I could be unbound and clean up. I didn't even like touching myself unless it was under the command of someone. But once I found out that actual chastity devices were a thing someone could actually do long term, I knew it was something I wanted. Like piercings or a tattoos or even wearing a plug 24/7, it was something I wanted to be part of my identity. But I'm certainly not unique. I think a lot of people are into denial, bondage, toys, and CBT are going to be drawn to chastity.

    Sissification and cuckolding aren't primary things for me. I like some "sissification" because I am into humiliation. But I mean, "doggification" was just as humiliating. I have no interest in actually pretending to be a woman. However, my wife does find it amusing when I wear frilly panties and likes buying them for me. She thinks it would be hilarious to get me a bra as well. I love this, not cause I want to be sissified, but because I like being humiliated and to do what makes her happy and horny.

    Cuckolding is a bit more complicated. I am totally fine with my wife dating other people in a safe and sane way. And she has always wanted to explore being with a woman. That's how it started, but after she dated a few women over the years, she also really wants a man as well. I really get off on the idea that she can have sex anytime she wants and I can't. But I think this plays into my denial and servitude aspects of the above. I would be super happy if she was able to be properly done by another man.

    FLR isn't something we do, since our marriage is a partnership. However, there are certain aspects that she controls completely, mostly all involving our sex life.

    I think it's fine, preferred even, to have different categories of people that celebrate the same thing. Vanilla people interested in chastity to have a stronger marriage or even religious reasons are totally cool to me. Newbie guys starting out who are exploring their sexuality are also cool to me. Though, I do find it funny to read posts about "8 hours in!" or whatever lol. Kinda like the furry cuffs of people starting out in bondage. ;) The BDSM community was overrun with horny housewives after "50 shades" became mainstream. There was so much noise you couldn't hear yourself. After that died down the people who really found themselves were still there, and the temporary visitors were gone.

    But it's all good. I'd rather celebrate our differences rather than have them divide us. I mean, I'm not going to ask a guy only into chastity for denial to get off my lawn if he can't also take a good caning, cock in the ass, or sounding. Maybe he'll be turned on by learning new things and we all get to make a new friend.
     
  15. Patsey Belle
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    Patsey Belle Your servant Miss!

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    Hi Vinny Looks like I must agree with you, so my days are also numbered! I shall start to back out now and disappear into the fog! Thank you and all the best!
     
  16. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    A lot of doom and gloom... makes me think of ee-ore. Everyone is using this place to masturbate, none of the females are real, everyone is just fantasizing and if not it will fail because real kink couples don’t last...and this rain cloud keeps following me and my tail keeps falling off.

    Chastity can be as simple as keeping one horny, middle ground of giving up control, and as hard core as elaborate routines and other fetish’s included. Heck, technically we would be labeled as including all three, yet there are things she doesn’t care for and well...she doesn’t do them. She is also an adult and has seen enough of the internet to not be shocked or offended by seeing something she doesn’t like.

    As soon as I told her about all this, she researched online, she took what she liked and tossed the rest.
     
  17. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    Members like Vinny comes and goes, opening up new accounts over and over. That of course increases the number of members - LOL, - but really not what we would like to see. We like members sticking with Who they are, so why not stay with @Vinny this time, and get all of Your complaints off your chest with this profile instead of starting 10 new ones and spread your complaints around?

    Just a kind suggestion of mine....:)

    Members in general do come and goe - and so does their wrestle with the lifestyle. It is inherent, and really not and issue with CM. So hold Your horses @Vinny :) ( But most of them stick to who they are, if they return at a later time.)

    We do not just count CM succes by the number of members, we count by number of posts, Threads, PM's etc. And we have been on a constant rise for a very long time now, and nothing seems to slow CM down, except me trying to improve the software and the features ;-)

    CM is undergoing major changes - to the benefit of many flavors of the lifestyle, but we have a special eye on the vanilla ones. We would like CM to have a more gentle and serviceminded face towards newcomers and vanilla couples. Why? Because we believe in Chastity as more than a kink. It can break a relationship, sure, but it can certainly also make one! A loving one, a devoted one.
    We like to support that, -no matter what You think or Say @Vinny.

    Management is in the hands of Me, Mistress Lucy and Mistress Jules. Period! And we do not fight, we do not badmouth one another. We have agreed on a strategy and we are going to implement it, no matter what You say Vinny! Why? Because we believe in it, for the benefit of most CM members and visitors. So All Your talk about how things go down the drain when mistresses is in charge - is really unworthy. We have taken active steps against the tribe fights in here, and we have managed to calm things down. We certainly do not need another drama queen, so hold your horses @Vinny

    I have received donations that I right now am spending on upgrades and new features - donations from members who expresses to me, how important CM has been and still are in their own chastity lifestyle. It makes me going:)

    I do not really want Your money @Vinny - so leave the question of donations to others, will You?

    Besides all these comments - I wish You all a great New Years Eve!

    Jens
     
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