Chastity/FLR agreements/relationships: fantasy/reality. Enforceability?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Joroincharge, Mar 4, 2018.

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  1. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    From time to time there are fantasies (mainly male) about these being binding and enforceable, often in the context of a futuristic society. To this end many have entered into contracts for this and there is a huge thread on CM started in 2008 with many examples of wordings. One of them indeed is mine.

    But of course they can never be enforceable vanilla in any jurisdiction I know. The best they can be is a declaration of consent. And consent can be withdrawn at any time.So to get the nearest possible will need lateral thinking. This is what this thread is for.

    For instance the KH can have 'collateral' (eg pix/videos) , and/or financial control vanilla. This thread is for members to post as to how they have managed to square the circle on this.

    This thread is for general discussion and examples. What do others do? Experiences, ideas, whether from perspective of KH or wearers please.

    It's not for the posting of contracts themselves of course which are proper for the contracts thread itself.

    https://chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/chastity-contracts.517/
     
  2. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    We don't have a contract. She just decides if I cum or not, and its normally the latter of the 2! She has the combination to the safe and she's not telling me what it is either so that's it! So much easier! I must admit I do enjoy reading the different contracts couples come up with, certainly adds a whole new dimension to chastity.
     
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  3. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I get unlocked when she gives permission, which I may ask for in circumstances involving H&S... cleaning being covered by H&S... and cage changes or modifications can take place during H&S time.
    Anything else happening chastity, locking or denial related is all her whim.

    pretty straight forward really.
     
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  4. tqbartleby
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    tqbartleby Active member

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    I don't see much possibility for enforceability of these things in the sense that society can enforce laws through its police, courts, and incarceration systems, the way an army can enforce martial law, or the way organized crime gangs can enforce extortion. All those things involve the potential use of deadly force and the lack of a higher level of enforcement as an override. (In the case of organized crime, the law enforcement authorities do have the capacity to override illegal intimidation but appealing to them carries great risk.)

    Unless your KH is a VERY scary person, chastity and FLR arrangements are only enforceable within the bounds of consent. There may be a price to pay for breaking an agreement, but you can choose to do so if you're willing to pay that price.
     
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  5. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    I think the best way to enforce would be with a device that is really hard to defeat like loris or such and then have the keys locked in a safe. No device is full proof but it would have to be something you would be very nervous about cutting off with the fear of hurting yourself so as to not attempt it. Also if the relationship was bad enough to consider cutting it off then a contract would be pointless anyways.
     
  6. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    My Bride really likes the idea of a contract but has little time or desire to follow its detail.. She prefers to go with what makes Her happy at any given moment, which sometimes is even more difficult than the contract. So, the contract lives somewhere between fantasy and reality for me. In the end, She makes it what She wants it be, contract or not.
     
  7. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I think if you didn’t know it was real or not, maybe it could work. Example of keeping pictures or just the verbal overtones that they could tell everyone of your locked status or kinks.

    Of course the reality of that is it’s wrong and the legal aspects are complicated, but keeping it tongue-in-cheek, allows a fair amount of you never know if she will really reveal all of this to someone. As long as it never really gets to the mean spirited extortion type of scenario, I think it could be doable.
     
  8. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    ]
    Thanks IMO device like Lori is more than half the battle. And a safe. But even so I reckon it can need some collateral to secure 100%
     
  9. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    All best wishes. But there is a bridge between fantasy and reality. It is called test trial period. The best I could do to square the circle is in #13 on the Chastity Contracts thread I posted in May 2009. The time limit was there for a reason. See that you think. All best wishes

    Joro
     
  10. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    like some sort of non removable explosive device attached to his balls? :D
     
  11. paulie slave
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    paulie slave Locked house husband

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    I had this idea for a FLR marriage, First of all, the marriage is anulled because the husband isn't able to satisfy his wife in the bedroom.Rings will still be worn (subject to Her decision). After the divorce comes through everything is tranferred to the wife. At this point hubby doesn't even own a stitch of clothing. From now on he is a servile houseboy or he can leave. This is when you can start negotiating his "leaving package" if he wants out. (jobless, squalid little bedsit and internet cam performer?) And by the way, both partners can trigger the "leaving package". This is fantasy land or it could be a reality for some. Doubtless they that live like this don't have internet access. Marriage on her terms or suffer the consequences. Might write a story about that. It would be funny if hubby ran out and wife called the cops saying he'd stolen clothes from her house.
     
  12. MouseJstr
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    MouseJstr Active member

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    Contacts are great for setting expectations and rules but they also tend to remove real control from the KH. The more that is defined, the less creative control they have. The less they really own you
     
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  13. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    :):):)
     
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  14. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    I agree that they can, though they do not need to be. Take a look at mine #13 in the contracts thread posted 2009 and see what you think.
     
  15. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    We went through a series of contracts, but now operate without one. The "Relationship" part of FLR is enough to establish limits.

    Enforcement has never been an issue, even when Xena wanted things I didn't really, e.g. extended chastity, or e.g. got wrapped up in work for weeks resulting in no erotic experiences for me. Here's why:
    • I'm a submissive. Now she's past my defences, I can't really resist her.
    • Power relationships quickly feel "real" and we lose perspective.
    • Femdom was my idea. I therefore have a poor negotiating position. (What if it went away???)
    • Our relationship works better now it's FLR. Anything that undermined her sense of being in charge would damage our relationship.
    • Ending the FLR would return us to a "dead bedroom", so even if I wasn't as kinky as I am, it would be a poor trade.
    I think contracts can be good at the start in order to set expectations and empower novice dominants. However, I think the really detailed and punitive ones are unconsciously intended to mask the stark vulnerability revealed by my first points: We are submissives, so once we submit it's hard to stop.
     
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  16. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    Another great thread.
    Thanks @Joroincharge
    (and contributors)

    So ...
    My wife & I have been into TND/OD/FLR for 25 years.
    It is entirely voluntary for both of us.
    Our journey has become a way of life that we both enjoy.

    I believe in FLR and choose to live a life of servitude - so she lets me (and no doubt has found benefit from it).
    It brings me great enjoyment and purpose in life spoiling my love.
    Waking up early to meditate, make coffee & get things ready for her when she wakes up is how I want to start my day. She doesn't have to make me do that.

    Making supper, cleaning the house, doing the shopping, taking care of the chores - are all things that I can do so she can relax. She doesn't have to make me do this.

    It actually works well for us - I release stress by kinetic activity. She doesn't.

    Treating her to a bath (and whatever might follow) so she can fall asleep with a happily exhausted body is MY pleasure ... and of course hers too. She doesn't have to make me do this.

    She has grown to enjoy finding creative ways to take advantage of what TND/OD can make me agree to. She will 'negotiate' with me in moments when I can't think straight.
    In Criminal Law it would be considered a 'confession made under duress' - but our contract, loose as it is, has no amendments or articles.
    A discussion that starts "Thats not what I meant" is usually ended by "Well, thats what you said".
    But its not a She Wins / I Lose scenario - ultimately we both are winners.

    What pleasure she allows me is always welcome. Does she delay my releases because she wants to or because I want her to? Fact: It is manifested from both.

    The ecstasies that occur from our roles make it worth both our efforts.
    And let me be clear - it takes a lot of effort on her part too - being a Domme is not effortless.
    And so, I thank her everyday for her part in making our relationship successful.
     
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  17. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    Ohh, my ... somebody dial 9-1-1
     
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  18. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I think I can say in all confidence
    Surely you don't think for a second that anyone you can ring is going to change Joro's opinion.

    mmm and like gullible .. naive is also not a real word in any dictionary
     
  19. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    @filltee

    the 9-1-1 ... that was me not being serious :)
     
  20. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    The most important part of male chastity is the commitment, similar to marriage. Neither means much if either partner isn't committed, whether you have some sort of contract or not.

    My beautiful wife/KH and I both love each other and enjoy the fact that I am locked up. (My (her) cock is testing the limits of my cage just thinking about this!) We've become more intimate as a result. If that changed somehow, for either of us, then no contract would matter.
     
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  21. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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  22. demale
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    demale Long term member

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    My wife and I discussed a written contract last year but she has decided that it's unnecessary since I've become completely submissive to her benevolent direction. (My daily milkings and frequent peggings have made me drained and docile as well since my manhood has been broken). I do what she says, no questions asked or tolerated.
     
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  23. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    A true FLR (or and D/s relationship) has to be a contract of the mind. That being the case, any written contract is probably redundant.
     
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  24. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    How true, and the only one who knows all the terms is the key holder!
     
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  25. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    And even then be aware ....as she can at any time , and almost assuredly will, change anything or everything at a moments notice.

    My partner definitely does not need a contract both of us knowing she's in charge of me is quite suffice; and has been suffice for nearly a year now.

    She is though I have been told now in the process of writing us a Chastity Agreement which when finished and I have signed it I will be given a copy of.

    In said Agreement everything will be clearly stated all potential contingencies addressed and all will be subject to unilateral change without notice.

    When you give her full control....... Be ready for anything.
     
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