Chastity and mood stabilization - What's your experience?

I would not say chastity stabilizes my mood. If anything it might destabilize it during periods of feeling desperate. I can get a bit irritable.

 

[QUOTE="1 – What is your experience with mood stabilization as a consequence of chastity? How was your mood before you got started with chastity and how is it now?

I was frustrated. We had been married over 14 years give or take a few and whilst my sex drive was still very high hers had unfortunatly been dwindeling for many a year. As a consequence I was depressed and frustated with my life.

After a major event in our relationship we both commited to making more of a effort for each other. She understood how isolated and lonely I had begun to feel in our relationship and I learnt that she needed both a break from the never and support at home.

Things went amazingly well and we both made alot more effort for each other however I was still always waiting for the time when she would push me away and as a consequence I was very up and down with my moods.

We discoverd chastity by accident about a year after our re commitment to each other and never intended for it to become a lifestyle however I think my mood did stablise. I guess my endorphin levels are always very high so I was and am in the most part usually alot more happier.


2 – If your mood is more stable now, how would you describe it? Happier? More submissive, more focused, more obedient, more disciplined, more assertive?

Happier yes, increasingly more submisive towards her but alot more assertive with everyone else.


3 – How long after being in chastity did you start feeling the difference in mood?

2 - 3 days usually

4 – Do you start feeling the difference after several days? Or do you start feeling the difference after several periods of chastity?

See above. Diffrence usually hits it's highest after about 1 1/2 to 2 weeks

5 - What do you do in order to avoid the “letdown” after an orgasm? Milking? Ruined orgasms? Something else?

Cuddle and support each other, I would say we celebrate our love by lifting all restrictions in place during the time we spend locked. It helps to re-inforce our love, commitment and respect for each other. I would advise anyone to google the term "SUB DROP" as this helped us alot understanding the change in moods and attitudes imediatly after a locked period.

6 – When you get really horny, how do you manage to cool down again, without it affecting your mood?

Find something unrelated to sex that you can do. Sometimes walking the dog can be very rewarding as it also gives you some space away from your partner and a chance to alter your current thought processes.

7 – How do you get sexual satisfaction during the time in chastity without de-stabilizing your mood?

My wife once said to me before we started exploring male chastity that she can be satisfied sexually just knowing she has given me an orgasm and that she doesn't always feel the need to orgasm herself. I didn't understand but after a week or so being locked I can genuinly say that when my wife has an orgasm on my toung, fingers or with the use of a toy I genuinly have my very own little mind orgasm.

I am only guessing but I think that knowing I am giving her so much pleasure releases the pleasure endorphins into my blood stream and I can feel very very satisfied from that.

8 – I’ve been also reading literature from a spiritual point of view (like yoga, tantra, etc). Many spiritual movements along centuries used chastity to “redirect” sexual energy to other aspects of life. Any experience with that? How did you managed to redirect that energy? What did you used it for?

I do experience the extra energy, I usually direct that energy into the home and maintenance. We do not have a FLR as such but obviously the more I do arround the house the more energy she has herself and if I am lucky she will usually divert her own extra energy into play time.

I don't do these things specificly for that but it is a benefit that we have both noticed.

[/QUOTE]

 

Everyone is a little different. I think I tend toward anxiety which leads to mild depression occasionally. I get the idea that chastity does not "stabilize" my mood in the short run. But over the short run, it can ease my anxiety and put my mind on other things, which alleviates my mood. Over the longer run, if all aspects of my life are going OK, and I feel an emotional connection with my wife, it stabilizes my mood over the longer run. It takes a lot of discipline to try to go for the longer run.

 

Also, because of my problems with anxiety, I don't sleep well. Orgasm denial almost certainly helps my sleep, especially if there is physical intimacy without me having an orgasm before bed.

 

Any improvement to my mood from chastity is because I'm not wasting time masturbating and thus doing something more productive.

 

I guess I have contradictory answers. When I am submissive and in a groove it has definitely stabilized my mood. My problem comes about with a lack of focus from my Wife/Mistress. I am not naturally submissive, so if she doesn't dominate me I start to lose my submissiveness and my mood can pretty quickly destabilize. When it does I get angry and sullen and I want out of my device and to have a good old fashioned orgasm. Fortunately this seems to be a self righting ship in that as soon as I do act up, she slaps me down (sometimes literally). The problem comes when she doesn't respond as this feeds my destabilization more. Most of the problems in our relationship have come from this. In my quieter, saner moments I tell myself not to do this, but I always find I lose control of that in the moment. So I guess chastity de-stabilizes my mood as I've never been one that had anger management issues before.

 

FWIW, I recognize this pattern. Haven't been in chastity long enough to attribute any part of the pattern to chastity - in fact, this pattern existed long before chastity was introduced to our marriage. I have always thought of myself as naturally submissive, but when something sets me off I can feel the self-control draining from me. Not something I'm proud of, and the presence of the device and the specter of very real and very unpleasant corporal punishment for outbursts have worked to keep things somewhat in check.

As time passes, it seems as if corporal punishment is not as much a deterrent as are my respect and love for my wife and the device reminding me of how much she loves me. When I do slip, the pain she brings (or, God help me - my disciplinarian brings) is horrific but I accept it as part of our marriage and our FLR. What's worse, though, is seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing I put it there. I feel horrible for days after for having failed her. I forget I'm wearing the device during the day because attempted erections do not occur while I'm in that guilty mindset.

On balance, chastity and living in an FLR are a net positive. My mood is much more stable and positive than it has ever been. I can only wonder how much farther ahead we'd be relationship-wise and how many fewer bad decisions I'd have made "life"-wise had we discovered this decades ago.

Jamie

 

My thoughts on your questions.

1 – What is your experience with mood stabilization as a consequence of chastity? How was your mood before you got started with chastity and how is it now?

Awesome. Postponed expectations or those never met swing your mood.
Before: Unstable resulting from unmet expectations based on circumstance.
After: Balanced as a result of committing to permanent self locking, which forced me to accept things as they were, and the cage bringing me the feeling of physical contentment.

2 – If your mood is more stable now, how would you describe it? Happier? More submissive, more focused, more obedient, more disciplined, more assertive?

Happy. Relieved. My cage allowed me to move forward. I was stuck in 1st gear. Since eliminating O, I receive enough good feeling being locked to be satisfied.

3 – How long after being in chastity did you start feeling the difference in mood?

Not long. After going permanent, I thought, can I really find my happy place by denial? But then I started focusing on how good it felt, and that I had self determination to do something to break the chain of dealing with the ups and downs of expectation.

4 – Do you start feeling the difference after several days? Or do you start feeling the difference after several periods of chastity?

I tried it for several periods for about a month or so. But when it was "off" time, all I could think about was getting back to "on" time. So I realized rather quickly it was going to be for me.

5 - What do you do in order to avoid the “letdown” after an orgasm? Milking? Ruined orgasms? Something else?

N/A. I avoid the letdown by staying locked. Up time all the time. Metaphorically speaking.

6 – When you get really horny, how do you manage to cool down again, without it affecting your mood?

Think about the "post O" letdown. I want no part of that.

7 – How do you get sexual satisfaction during the time in chastity without de-stabilizing your mood?

My chastity cage IS my satisfaction. I say no to O. Locked: happy, fulfilled, pleasured. If I unlocked, that would be the destabilizing thing.

8 – I’ve been also reading literature from a spiritual point of view (like yoga, tantra, etc). Many spiritual movements along centuries used chastity to “redirect” sexual energy to other aspects of life. Any experience with that? How did you managed to redirect that energy? What did you used it for?

N/A. I don't know about that. What I do know is that I do take a supplement that inhibits prolactin levels which avoid the flood of it into your system when you have "completed the task". Since I don't complete the task ever, it helps prevent big mood swings and avoiding the crash.