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Chastity and maybe cuckolding

Discussion in 'The Boudoir' started by mapoff, Mar 4, 2017.

  1. Thank you for your incite, I have found it very helpful :). Its onto the online sex toy store for me :D I will try the proper delay spray.. we have tried this other weird stuff that smells like mint for tongue piercing but it burnt me :/. We have been looking into strapon's but I think its time to act and purchase one :) We do already have many toys but I dont think we can have to many. I will also be sure to keep him caged for much longer periods of time.. unfortunately when ever he wears it I get really aroused so it doesn't last long.
    Thank you again :)
  2. I think that @keephimcaged@keephimcaged has hit the proverbial nail on the head. This fantasy is very much linked to porn. The idea of watching someone have sex with our partners is just like our very own private porn party, happening right in front of us. I think the reality is that if it actually happened it would be as close to real sex as porn is.
    Val likes this.
  3. We use a stud100 delay spray, I forget the actual name, but it's something like that. It works brilliantly. I was doubtful but It wasn't too expensive, and I'm completely in awe of how good it is.

    And you aren't the first woman in the Mansion who has said this chastity thing gets them so aroused they unlock their man!

    Apologies for the awful typing earlier, there is a very demanding baby in the house who wouldn't let me edit before posting!
    Val likes this.
  4. Hey Val,
    My Bride/KH has wanted to keep me locked for longer periods too, but after a few weeks(2) she usually needs the real deal, and not cause she feels badly about me at this point. She knows I'm getting what I want and need by staying locked. And you can never have too many toys, lol....Wish you all the best.
    Val likes this.
  5. I would also like to add that he has never tried to make me do it.. he has said that its ok if it stays a fantasy but that the option is there if I ever want to. I think that my first thoughts were from shock and not understanding. Although I do still worry that he would prefer someone who would do it no questions asked but he does still love me.
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  6. Before we introduced chastity into our relationship I had fantasies. Now I have my Wife. She is waaaaay better than any fantasy I ever had! And the brilliant thing is she has become that simply by doing things that please her, rather than doing things to try and keep me happy.
    Keuschling, spider203 and Val like this.
  7. I have decided to try and have my first post removed.. I have been trying all day but have had no luck.. I was inconsiderate and entirely selfish in what I wrote. My jealousy and paranoia has become out of hand and I was mistaking everything I saw and taking it way to seriously. Please disregard my first post until I can get it removed.
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  8. @Val@Val, don't be embarrassed by what you wrote. I cannot imagine what it must be like for a woman to be approached by the guy she loves to be told his fantasy is to watch her have sex with other men. It must have been quite a shock. I asked my Wife what she thought about your original post and the only thing she thought odd was how you wondered whether it was because you were bad in bed. That didn't make sense to her, as far as my Wife could work out it would make more sense if he wanted it because you were fantastic in bed!

    The fact is those were your feelings and thoughts, whether you now think they were formed through jealousy and paranoia. As I said in my response it was fascinating reading your description of what you went through. It started an in depth and very interesting conversation with my Wife. She too had wondered if I would leave her if she didn't fulfill my fantasy, which was a surpise to me. If you hadn't started this thread I would never have asked her those questions and we wouldn't have got to a place of better nderstanding each other.

    As for being inconsiderate and selfish, who to? Your partner? The members of the Mansion? I would disagree completely. This place is a refuge for people who need a place to ask questions without fear of ridicule, or at least to get honest advice and feedback as much as possible. We read over and over again men's descriptions of how they try to encourage their partners to take a role in this weird and wonderful lifestyle, but rarely do we hear anything from the women. Rather than delete your original post my heartfelt plea would be for you to keep a journal. Tell us about your worries and issues. Tell us about how he is trying to do things you aren't happy with, and get support from men who understand his angle and better still from women who can help you push this in a direction that is good for you.
    mrfelix and Val like this.
  9. I would at least like to edit my post.. I talked horribly about my partner. I see no need for it to still be up here. If anything ever happens that I find may be useful to the mansion I will post it but I will check with my partner first. He is a member of CM and I wronged him in posting what I did. Do you know how to edit a previous post?
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  10. I think you need to submit your request to @Admin.
  11. There is a time limit on editing posts of a few minutes. The idea is to stop people changing a post so much it makes an entire thread meaningless.

    As for editing your post for the reasons you gave, that is a different thing. But to be honest it sounds like you both need a neutral place to communicate, and this is the perfect opportunity for you to do that. You two will know who each other is, but none of us do. You are anonymous to us. You can say anything you like to each other without embarrassment.
    The cat is out of the bag, as they say, so why try and stuff it back in? Maybe you were paranoid and voiced your insecurities, but those feelings come from somewhere. They are no less valid for what you said and where you said it.
    Val likes this.
  12. SubVerity

    SubVerity The Mansion's own Fairy Godmother!
    Staff Member Moderator

    Apr 2, 2014
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    Hi @Val@Val, I'd agree with Jasmic that your post was entirely valid and voiced your concerns at the time perfectly well. One of the things we often find ourselves learning along any of these varied roads of sexual exploration is that our own feelings about things are valid, and that we shouldn't feel guilty for them. Just express them and move on. Seems like a good lesson for life in general! :)
    Another thing we learn is that once expressed these feelings often shift and alter. ;)

    We did consider your request for deletion of your post, but by that time so many had commented on your post it was impossible to do - sorry about that. People also quoted your post, and because of that it's no longer possible to edit it either without making it impossible to follow the meaning of what follows.

    What would be good though is if you just post how your feelings have changed. If you read peoples blog threads you'll see exactly the same, people's feelings change over time, and they take pleasure in exploring that change and in expressing it here. That's what this place is for really. To provide a space for people to explore and express, and often, usually, they'll find a warm welcome and a supportive environment.

    Lastly, we dont need every statement we make on line to be true at all times. It might be true when we write it, but like in all things, change happens, and we can just write something new that is true for us now.
    Val likes this.
  13. I agree that you should not push your wife into cuckolding you. Sometimes pillow talk is a happy medium. However I also think cuckolding can be very erotic if BOTH spouses are into it and agree to each others rules/limits. Feelings surely can become an issue depending on the intensity of cuckolding... If it becomes a 24/7 lifestyle, be prepared to having a b/f (regardless if there is bisexual activity or not).
  14. Hi @Val@Val I would second what has been said by others already. You have nothing to be ashamed of in your post. This place is a community of people trying to figure things out and we all ask questions, vent frustrations and share experiences on here. I think it's irrational for your partner to approach you with a request like this and then be mad it would stir up difficult feelings for you. If he wants a sex robot, he should get one.

    I will also share with you my experience with cuckolding in my relationship with my wife (spoiler alert nothing actually happens). We have only been into chastity for a short time, but have engaged in moderately kinky play and very open communication through out our almost 20 years together. Early on we discovered that her fantasies revolve around having multiple sex partners at the same time and I am turned on by humiliation. This lead to more and more dirty talk during sex around this topic. Currently she loves to get off while telling me she had sex with two other guys that were so much better endowed than me. We can't have a package delivered without it generating some banter along these lines. This kind of logically lead to a discussion of an actual cuckold experience. I made it clear to her and would still support this today, that I would support her trying this. We have gotten close on occasion, but nothing has ever happened. Even though we have never actually carried through on the act, the dialogue has provided us both with a ton of sexual pleasure. It might be away for you and your partner to explore this yourselves without committing to the whole thing. There is a lot of things we men love the idea of when we are all horned up that lose it's appeal in the light of reality. Fantasy is a great way to explore and placate those desires.
    Val and Ossian like this.
  15. From beginning to end, your posts show your thought process and feelings which are a value to other members.
    Val likes this.