My wife and I have been married for 10 years this year. We have three beautiful children and a wonderful home. What we have struggled with is our relationship. 3 kids is a lot to handle. The point that we have struggled with is boredom, stress, expenses, self control, motivation, etc. There is no one right or wrong. It's tough being married, work, 3 kids. We got married for a reason though. That's because we love each other. About 9 months ago we started playing with role reversal. Switching from top and bottom. It was fun but coming back into reality sometimes left me more frustrated than when we started. My wife was always relieved because it does require a lot of work. At some point last year we got a cb3000. We've played with it but not more than a day or two. Then about a month ago we started talking about longer and longer durations. Then I saw a chastity agreement mentioned online. I was extremely intrigued. We both were. We started to read them together and I suggested we try it for a month. Mind you not chastity for a month, but the agreement. I created a draft and the two of us spent some time revising it and creating addendums. The essence of the agreement is that I am locked up for periods and that she stipulates the release. Despite our various toys, I am fortunate enough that my wife like's the real thing more than the silicon alternative. I have been locked in my cb3000 for the longest duration yet. My wife is beginning to take a real liking to it. Granted, it's only been three days. But the initial adjustment period is over and now we're talking serious time.... I found baby oil and eucerine have been a great help. Tonight I try on my work clothes to see what is feasible and what isn't. A couple of things that we're trying to manage is my self control. Be that spending, some weight loss, exercise, masturbation, flirting, etc. My wife while happy to create this agreement asks why it's necessary but sometimes you have to have a carrot to get the rabbit. I will post my adventures out here to see if anyone else has thoughts.
Welcome! Firstly, i would like to welcome you to the forum and encourage you to fill out your profile, get yourself an avatar and so on. One finds one is taken more seriously here if one does that. Additionally, i would recommend that your Wife join and create an ID of Her own. She will find a wealth of material here and will be very happily accepted by the Ladies present. Both of you will find this a very friendly place. There are a lot of people here who have gone through a whole lot and there is a lot to learn from the musings of others. The search function and the advanced search function really works well to help you find specific issues and problems along with their solutions. A three-day stint in chastity is a very good start. Many here have enjoyed similar understanding from one's Keyholder. And you mention that you have certain goals for behavior, weight loss and other things to accomplish. It is my best hope that this forum gives the two of you plenty to go on and lots of information to help you achieve the goals She wishes for you.
Nice informative post. Would you be willing to share a generic version of your month long contract? Thanks, Rich:sex023:
I will post it later. There were a couple of provisions she modified. All said it's pretty thorough but nothing unbearable.
Our Chastity Agreement This agreement may look familiar to a some of you. We cut and pasted from the ones posted here so I thank you for it. Purpose: Set Out Guidelines for chastity in line with the reward/punishment outlined for goals Definitions Chastity: The abstinence of all orgasms and sexual activity either individually or in concert with others or browsing pornographic or sexually explicit media. Punishment: Any physical or mental action that is a reprimand for behavior not acceptable as defined by this contract Chastity Device: Any lockable wearable device designed for continuous wear to prevent masturbation, infidelity, control sexual urges or aggression, or sexual intercourse and encourage compliance from Husband Computing Devices: Any computer, IPhone, IPad, etc. Chores: Daily, Weekly, and Monthly tasks that will be performed Rules: Regulations that will be set out in this contract that Husband will abide by or will suffer one of several punishments. Affections: Actions toward Wife that she deems pleasurable but that is not necessarily sexual Wife: Key holder and spouse Husband: Chaste man and Spouse Sex: The act of intercourse, oral stimulation, proxy stimulation, i.e. using a dildo Orgasm: Climax and release. Ejaculation does not constitute orgasm if Husband is not erect, i.e- milking Milking: The process of massaging the prostrate until seminal fluids are released. This does not constitute an orgasm but may constitute a sexual release. Release: the removal of the chastity device for a duration as determined by Wife. Family: Immediate Children and siblings and parents Service: Anything that Wife deems to be done Term: Duration that this contract will be in force for. Term of Contract: This contract will be in place for an initial pilot of 4 weeks unless a breach of contract occurs. If the contract completes without a signed termination agreement then this contract will continue until such time as a termination agreement is signed and recorded. Expectations Wife- Will tease Husband once a day in such a way that would elicit a substantial arousal in Husband to enflame his sexual desperation and denial WIll enforce defined punishments for failure to complete chores, tasks, or goals as outlined Will review progress of Husband at least once a day in completing chores and tasks Will supervise removal of device for routine cleaning and shaving. Will provide one key for health or emergency reasons Agrees that she will not require clothing that would be detrimental to normal public wear or that would otherwise affect public opinion, interfere with work duties, or that would cause public humiliation for Husband. Wife understands that she is free to receive any form of sexual gratification needed from Husband during periods of confinement. Husband- Shall wear chastity device at all times excepted when granted release by Wife, or for as needed cleaning or maintenance, or health/emergency situations. Is prohibited to engage in any sexual activity without Wife's express permission and direct supervision including touching, fondling, masturbating, surfing pornographic or sexually explicit sites, movies, or audio books. Is prohibited from ejaculation without express permission from Wife. Unauthorized ejaculations, intentional or unintentional, shall be reported to wife immediately and Punishment shall be at Wife's discretion. Is required to maintain the Chastity Device's cleanliness and maintenance at all times. Is required to complete all chores, tasks, and goals as outlined. Is required to satisfy Wife by whatever means Wife deems necessary for sexual gratification whenever Wife requires Agrees that sexual releases may be accompanied by being restrained as determined by Wife. Agrees that Wife may release husband for the means of sexual play but that no orgasm is permitted until Wife permits one. Agrees to use any sexual aids such as (but not limited to) strap-ons, vibrators, dildos, and other artificial aids to satisfy Wife. Agrees that Wife may use devices mentioned above in addition to other restraints on Husband and Husband will have no say in objecting to such devices. (Although begging up to a point will be allowed, once Husband is told by Wife to stop, the expectation is compliance. Failure will result in punishment both immediate and future.) Agrees that Wife may release Husband out of good nature and that such a release from device is not grounds for sexual release. Agrees to abide by all directions from Wife during such releases. Agrees to re-secure device upon command from Wife. Agrees to wear what clothing Wife requires Husband acknowledges that Wife may adorn herself in various clothing to tease and/or torment Husband and that Husband is not entitled to a sexual release because of such adornment. Agrees and understands that Wife may use various methods to tease and torment Husband at any time. Further more, Husband understands that he has no say in such teasing and that Wife may continue at will. Husband is aware that rewards up to and including sexual release are given for good behavior including but not limited to pampering, dinner dates, gifts, massages, and other ideas Husband comes up with. Be immediately available to wife during all non-working hours except as permitted in advance by wife. Agrees to not mention the chastity device except as a warning in the event that certain activities public or private may be impeded by said device. Agrees to work to please Wife for all her waking non-working moments. Agrees that flirting, leering, or twittering, with any females wife has not permitted is expressly forbidden. Agrees that all expenses will only be made with the express permission of wife including apps, tips, books, movies, and anything not on the weekly shopping list or for work related meals. Agrees to maintain the cleanliness of all sexual aids, toys, instruments employed by Wife for personal pleasure or for use on Husband General Understandings Between Husband and Wife -Both parties agree that every day life decisions such as child development, household finances, and other marital decisions outside the bedroom will have no effect on terms of this agreement, and that such decisions made can have no impact on the terms of this agreement. -Both parties agree that modifications to this agreement may be needed during the period of this agreement and that such modifications can be made as long as both parties are in agreement. Chores, Tasks & Goals: Will be mutually agreed upon and updated as needed and will be discussed weekly and documented outside of this contract. Rewards Sexual release for good behavior as deemed appropriate by Wife Allowance of unsupervised computer time 1 Sexual act of Husbands choosing Fondling of balls Milking Pegged with sexual release Punishments Loss of use of iPad Loss of use of iPhone Spanking by any device Wife deems appropriate Milking without sexual release Binding to bed or other areas as wife deems necessary for her pleasure Extended duration of lock up Tens Unit Sleeping on floor Nipple clamps Ball stretchers Gagged Mouth Gagged and bound watching movies Wife deems necessary Breach of Contract If the use of the Chastity device results in serious health risks the Contract will be terminated until alternate arrangements are made. Unauthorized removal of device will result in a thirty-day period of lock up and denial for Husband. Absolutely no sexual releases will be allowed for Husband during this penalty period. Unauthorized removal of device that includes a sexual release will result in a forty-five day period of lock up and denial for Husband. Again, absolutely no sexual releases will be allowed for Husband during this penalty period. Additional punishment may be added as determined by Wife Husband agrees that additional restraining, flogging, private humiliation, servitude, and any other means of punishment may be administered by Wife to correct or punish infractions from contract. Husband agrees that failure to accept terms of punishment for infractions is means for immediate termination of this agreement and that such refusal could lead to other detrimental behavior on part of Wife. THE PARTIES HERETO ACKNOWLEDGE AND AGREE TO THE ABOVE TERMS: Wife: Husband: ______________________________________________________________________________________
What I find the most refreshing about this agreement is that everything I do is intensified. yes part of it could be the the plastic cage on my cock and balls but I am not sure. I was at work and I was intense. Focused. Got a lot done. I left work all I could think about was how to please my wife. What could I do to make her feel like she was the most important person in my life. So strange from what I was thinking just a week ago.
My wife has really got the art of orgasm and roll over. She teases me until I want to break the cage, then she has me help her to orgasm, then goes to sleep! It's still fun right now but I wonder if it will be fun in 4 days or a week.
One possible issue... One thing that they're looking for in airports these days is plastic devices under your clothes. This is due to the "underwear bomber" on Christmas, 2009. The agreement could be modified with Her permission to include either always flying together (with you out of chastity) and/or if you are to fly solo that you self-lock upon passing through security in the nearest men's room.