Chapter Three

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Hubby&Missy, Jun 13, 2021.

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  1. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Active member

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    The fear you felt, was it the old normal fear or was it different?

    Were you afraid of what had actually happened? The fear of the unknown?

    You have just discovered a new path with regards to physical intimacy. What you experienced was "Making Love". The fact you felt good the next day proves you are on the right track. You and your mind are now differentiating between "having sex" and "Making Love".

    The buildup, the flow of love and sensuality is what lead you to it.

    Now do it again.
    Follow the same formula you did on vacation. Plan a day where you streach out the intimacy all day. Then see where it leads you. If you make love again, awesome! If not and you end up being together, awesome!

    Just do not force it, let it flow.

    Iso.
     
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  2. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    In my heart I know this and every time it has been wonderful it was because it just happened. It was about the love. Then my damn brain kicks in and I get scared and ashamed and it is suddenly about the sex again. Monday was a little different though. I was ashamed about what I did at the hotel on Saturday but not about what happened on Monday night. I was still frightened the next day and maybe that is because it felt so good and my mind still tells me it is wrong. to like it so much. Iso keeps telling me to leave my out of the bedroom. I wish it was that easy.
     
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  3. Robins toy
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    I understand. Not in the general way that people say that, but truly understand the effect and affects of a stern religious upbringing. I once cried because I was riding in a car with a female cousin who was wearing a pair of pants instead of a dress. I screamed at her that she was sending us all to hell. I had been taught that it was evil for girls to dress as boys (that was translated, by our backwards southern pastor, as wearing pants.) I believed in my heart that being around someone who was so blatantly defying "God's rules" would condemn me.

    Later I found out that the men of the day, when the words the backwards southern preacher misinterpreted were spoken, wore robes that greatly resemble the modern ladies dress. He was wrong. He taught me a falsehood. It took almost 10 years before I and my cousin were okay again. It also took an apology from me.

    I had to apologize for insisting that my false belief was right so vehemently that I made her out to be a bad person. She forgave me, before I even asked her to, for being convinced by the falsehood.

    I still think fondly of that pastor and value many of the lessons that I gleaned from his teaching. I just separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.

    Some of the most vile things that have ever been done to others was done in the name of religion. Just look at what is happening in Afghanistan right now and you can see it in real time! But, it shouldn't be that way. Those people are perverting God for their own purposes, just as you and I have experienced.

    It doesn't have to be that way.

    I've read the story that the two of you have posted. I understand it! And, I have overcome the same thing.

    My Wife and KH has worn a dress 3 times, in my presence (2 of them were on our wedding day), and 5 times since I've known her. (Yes, I remember every time!) My sisters mostly wear pants.

    We all have gotten over that. We've learned that the person that taught us that was innocently misinformed. He didn't understand the context that the text was written in and, wrongly, applied the context of himself. In doing that, he caused a harm to many people, but without ill intent.

    Unfortunately, you have been subjected to this same fallacy.

    The only time it is wrong to be wrong is when you still insist that you are right. You're not doing that.

    You are just wanting both of you to be happy, fulfilled and complete.

    That's nothing sinister, bad or evil. That's what we were meant to do. We were meant to bring and teach love to each other. That's probably why God put Hubby in your life!
     
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  4. Hubby&Missy
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    This has nothing to do with chastity. I am only posting it at all because we told you people Missy wanted to do this.

    Well, the vaccination goal has been met and Missy found a dance instructor who is back to teaching classes. We’ve gone for three Saturday evenings now and for a guy with two left feet I am actually getting the hang of this. In dancing I have to lead. Isn’t Missy supposed to be in charge of anything social. LOL But I don’t step on her feet and the instructor actually said I am starting to get a little smoother and more graceful at the end of our last lesson. It is actually fun and in the ballroom dances I actually get to hold her. I think I still look a little awkward in the fast dances.

    Missy is really enjoying the dancing and the getting out. When I am with her like this I am having a good time too. Even with a group of strangers.
     
  5. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    We haven’t updated in a while. I have still been very busy in the shop but at least I am getting back to mostly 5 days a week with only one Saturday I had to work. We even got out to ride with our friends in the trail club a week ago.

    Things are doing well in the bedroom department. She hasn’t been able to make it happen yet though. She got anxious about it a couple of times. They were both on Saturday nights and she got a little down. Those nights she wasn’t sure what she wanted me to do. She went back and forth from just holding her to making her melt to will I give her a fuzzy anyway. I just held her and caressed her back for a while and eventually she relaxed. One time she melted and just wanted to sleep on my shoulder. The other time she was caressing my back while I rubbed hers and I think she was trying to make it happen. Finally she asked me to take her to her fuzzy place and she had a good fuzzy.

    Most Saturdays (except for those two) and all the week nights she has assumed control and she lets me know exactly what she wants.

    There have been a couple of surprises. She now changes in front of me sometimes instead of in the bathroom. Neither of us makes a big deal about it but I enjoy seeing her body and she knows that. It must be a little bit hard for her. There has been one really big and wonderful surprise. At least a half dozen times, always on a weeknight rather than a weekend, She will ask me if it would be okay for me to take off my cage. She will say she just wants to be one with me for a moment. I do not hesitate. She will be totally naked. I lie on my back and she on her side and we caress each other for a couple minutes in a very sexual way. When I am hard and she is wet she will roll on me and insert my penis in her and we will lie motionless. We hold each other tight and not a word is spoken. Eventually she gives me a gentle kiss and rolls off and asks me to take her to her special place. She has a great fuzzy and then I hold her till she recovers and she will say, “I am ready for your shoulder.” I roll on my back again and she rolls onto my shoulder. She says, “thank you.” Then she always says she is sorry she couldn’t give me more even though I always tell her not to be sorry because I couldn’t possibly feel any closer or more loved than I do when this happens. She will fall asleep in an instant and I am holding her naked body against mine with her head on my shoulder and she is so peaceful. I want to resist going to sleep but I am so content I am asleep very shortly after her.

    Also the dance lessons are still going well. I think I actually look like I belong on the dance floor now.
     
  6. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Hubby is right. The bedroom is much better and I am very comfortable being in control of what we do. I know I should feel bad for saying this but I am glad I don’t have to have Saturday night sex. The two Saturdays that went awry were two that I was really trying to make it happen. There is something about the weekend that makes it hard. It always brings back the thought that the weekend was programed for sex and then I get all weird. Now weekends are strictly for my fuzzy.


    Weeknights he meets me at the door with a big kiss when I come home and then he holds me till I relax a little and we just talk about nothing in particular at Supper. It is always a weeknight when I change in the bedroom because as I said, the weekends seem to carry some sort of obligation in my mind which messes with my brain and I get flustered or scared. Hubby notices and appreciates when he can see me naked but doesn’t stare or make comments about my body so I am actually getting comfortable doing it.


    The almost love making happens on nights that are entirely ordinary. I just feel comfortable. Every time I do it I believe I will be able to make it happen and that is why I tell Hubby I am sorry that he couldn’t have his orgasm when it doesn’t. I’m mostly disappointed in myself. But it is alright because I know how close I have come to making it happen and I believe what Hubby told me when we started this chapter. I need to be patient and let it happen when it happens. And it will. Someday! He is also right that the intimacy I feel, that we feel, will sustain us. When I lie there with Hubby inside me the intimacy is so special.


    One of the things that has made it easy for me to take control in the bedroom is I never have to order him to do what I want. I just ask and he responds. He doesn’t ask for anything more or less than I give him. Even outside the bedroom, if I tell him I would like to do something like go out to dinner, or the night club to dance, or go sightseeing he always says okay and we do it. Of course I don’t ask if I know he has other things he has to get done but our social life is all about me and he always enjoys whatever I choose to do.
     
  7. madams-sissysub
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    Thanks to the both of you for sharing.
     
  8. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Sharing helps us in our journey. It is also a good feeling to know we have so much support as we strive to reach a more complete sexual relationship.
     
  9. madams-sissysub
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    There is nothing but support here, I’m sure you will reach the place you want to be.
     
  10. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Thank you
     
  11. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    So close and yet so far. I asked Hubby to let me write about last night. When we went to bed I was feeling a little giddy for no reason at all and I was sure this would be the night. I had Hubby take off the cage and I was completely naked when we got in bed.


    I had him run his hands on my breasts and even my vagina and I caressed every inch of his body. We kissed a lot and very passionately. He was definitely aroused and I was very wet. I rolled on top of him and put his penis inside me. I started to rock up and down a little very slowly. I was so close to having my orgasm and then suddenly I froze. As I came back down on his body the last time he started to have his orgasm and then it stopped as quickly as it started. I think this might be what I have seen called a ruined orgasm on this site. I know he eventually put out a lot of semen but he just had a tiny instant of intensity. I just held him so tight and he held me even tighter. When I realized what happened I started to cry. I asked him if he was alright. I asked him if I had just ruined his first sex in months. He answered, “I just had my first fuzzy!” He kissed me so passionately but softly. Hubby just held me for a few minutes and then asked if he could return the favor and give me a fuzzy. I rolled onto my back and he caressed my breasts and my abdomen and then he pulled me up on my side and very close and rubbed my back and my buttocks and I had a most wonderful fuzzy. We laid there for a long time with him just caressing my back and neck and hair. Then he rolled on his back and put my head on his shoulder and I said, “I love you so much.” He said, “Ditto” and we both laughed a little and I was asleep in no time.


    I am totally confused about how I feel tonight. I am disappointed because I froze and could not finish last night. I am elated because I came so close and except for that final moment it was so easy and natural. Hubby was right. It is going to happen one day. I feel bad I couldn’t give Hubby a real orgasm but I think I gave him something that he liked. Either that or he is the best actor in the world.
     
  12. lockedbySue
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    That is still a step in the direction you want to go. You ARE making progress!
     
  13. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    You guys are doing great.
     
  14. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Active member

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    You are getting there.

    Each time is a step closer to the goal.

    Just a few more steps...

    Iso.
     
  15. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Missy did not have any kind of a down period or fear even though she had actual sex with me. She mostly was proud of what happened. I love her so much. We are going to get there yet.
     
  16. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Missy’s parents ( her mother actually) have announced they are coming to visit her for Thanksgiving. They are planning to Arrive Wednesday afternoon and leave the Tuesday morning after Thanksgiving. Her mother had already bought the tickets before they even told us. Missy is really excited because they haven’t come east since our wedding but she is also very anxious. Her mother is a perfectionist and gives Missy a hard time about not being a mother and home keeper instead of working like some feminist.

    We spent a year at their home Christmas week two years ago. That isn’t fair. Missy was glad we went and she got to spend time with her mother but by New Year’s when we left she was ready to go. I tried to avoid her mother as much as possible because she insults me every chance she gets. I tried to spend as much time as possible with her father. He doesn’t say much but he is nice, easy going, and we get along.

    So Missy is going to take a weeks’ vacation. Thanksgiving is a holiday so she will be home from the Tuesday before through the Tuesday that they go home. She wants me to try to get caught up on all my shop work over the weekend so I won’t have to work while they are here.

    I am not looking forward to this and Missy knows that but she asked me, no pleaded with me, to try to be nice to her mother and don’t talk about any of the sore subjects. Don’t mention Missy’s work or having children in particular. If those subjects come up Missy will deal with them. For Missy I can put up with anything for a week and with luck I can spend most of my time with her father.
     
  17. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Active member

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    Oh boy..

    Message me if you two need to talk, vent or need some help calming down.

    Iso.
     
  18. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Thank you Iso. I just might need some support if her mother starts to really get to me. I don't ever want to hurt Missy and I know she loves her mother.
     
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  19. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Project yourself to the future you. Remember this is only for a short, if painful, time. We are all here for you guys. Letting Missy deal with her mom is probably best. We men try to fix things, sometimes we need to just support. It's tough, because you (me too) get defensive of her when her parents lay on the pressure, guilt etc. And it makes us feel helpless when we can't do anything about it. I don't speak the same language as my inlaws but I can tell when L's dad is being a nasty mentally abusive jerk, or her mom overloading her with stuff. It's tough man.
     
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  20. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    Why do we men find it so hard to understand this?
    And isn't life good when we do?
     
  21. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Getting ready for the visit has been interesting to say the least. I spent most of the weekend and Monday in the shop getting my orders finished. This time of year tends to be a little slower so I am caught up and should be okay till after the holiday.. Missy spent the weekend cleaning the house. She did the shopping for Thanksgiving and the visit. It must have taken her 3 hours. She hasn’t wanted me to make her “melt” since Friday night. She just wanted to sleep on my shoulder and it took a long time for her to fall asleep every night.

    Tuesday was crazy. We recleaned everything she had cleaned over the weekend. I had to practically detail the Escalade, which she inspected and wanted me to do some parts over. Nothing was ever quite ready or good enough and she was literally like a train wreck by the time we went to bed. I held her most of the night and she never did relax and I don’t think she slept all that well.

    This morning she was up at the crack of dawn and told me in no uncertain terms to get my ass out of bed we still had a lot to do. She didn’t take her shower, she just threw on an old "T" shirt she has that is just long enough to cover her butt. No bra, no shoes, no slacks, just a shirt and panties and headed down stairs. As she left the bedroom she said, “you need to help too, get a move on!” Most of this morning has been about the details. We had to wash the good table cloth which was already clean. We had to move things to the “proper place.” Every time she bent over or did something that made her breasts jiggle a little under the "T" shirt I could not help but notice and admire. A couple times she caught me staring and yelled, “what are you looking at. Get to work.” At one point I said, you know the inspectors come in and have to find something to write up. If you leave them something obvious, they find it right away, write you up, give you your fine, and they are on their way. I then took and moved a vase she had carefully placed in the exact center of the table as you come in the door and put it over near one edge. I said this is the thing she can write you up for and it will be over. Missy just looked at me for a minute and then she burst out laughing. She said it doesn’t work that way with her mother and said you’ll see. But for the next hour things were a lot easier. Somehow that silliness had broken the tension. Several times after that she bent over and it was obviously on purpose because I could tell she was watching my reaction. Once she lifted up the front of her shirt to wipe her brow exposing the very bottom of her breasts. She had this mischievous smile and told me to keep working, we are not done yet. She was actually teasing me and enjoying it. Needless to say I enjoyed it.

    A while ago she went upstairs to take a nice long shower and then she was going to get dressed. We have to leave for the airport in less than an hour so I probably better get ready too.

    Wish me luck. This could be a long week.
     
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  22. homebody
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    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

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    I wish you both luck and a Happy Thanksgiving
     
  23. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Active member

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    When my parents visit, my Wife has me clean everything short of polishing the nails the pictures hang on.

    It's madding.

    Hang in there.

    Iso.
     
  24. lockedbySue
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    lockedbySue Member

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    Good vibes for 7 days that aren't too stressful, for you and of course Missy!
     
  25. Hubby&Missy
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    Hubby&Missy Love keeps us together

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    Thank you all for your encouragement. I have a few minutes to myself in the computer room. Things are going as expected. Tense and her mother makes it clear she doesn't like me because I don't provide for Missy "to my full potential." She constantly gives Missy left-handed compliments but I have managed to hold my tongue as I promised Missy I would.

    By the time we go to bed Missy is worn out mentally. She is conflicted between loving having her mother here and not ever quite pleasing her mother. The first 3 nights, Missy didn't want me to do anything but hold her till she fell asleep. Last night she let me try to make her melt in my arms. She relaxed for the first time since they got here but she didn't really melt like I'm used to with her.

    On e more day to go and then they leave late Tuesday morning.
     
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